Tag: child

Gordon The Gopher’s Gone – Phillip Schofield Quits ‘This Morning’; Will Further Scandal Follow?

As the queue-jumping puppet master of Gordon The Gopher Phillip Schofield quits ‘This Morning’, Matthew Steeples asks: “Will further scandal follow for this flogger of plughole-fit-only plonk?”

This morning, The Observer asked: “Will the Phil and Holly saga put an end to the absurd notion of the TV couple?” and aside from examining the storm-in-a-teacup of the end-of-the-road being reached for the dastardly queue-jumping duo, referenced the likes of the ‘washed-up old soak’ Judy Finnigan and her ‘modern day Dorian Gray-esque’ husband, Richard Madeley.

Whilst the married telly box duo of the alleged shoplifter Madeley – he still claims to have been falsely accused and even once pointed this out to President Bill Clinton – and his ‘mummy-like’ wife Finnigan remain together, “the silver soufflé” Phillip Schofield’s ‘sofa based’ relationship with Holly Willoughby is now finally toast.

After several weeks of the story not being about This Morning itself, but instead swirling around Phillip Schofield’s policeman-turned-nonce brother, Timothy, being sent down for twelve years, Willoughby refusing to speak to him off screen and allegations concerning a runner whom the presenter met when he was just thirteen, this became an out of control juggernaut that just had to be stopped.

Slammed even by the frankly nasty and noxious Tory twerp Nadine Dorries MP as someone “rather up himself” who “scared” her, the interesting question as we say goodbye and good riddance to ‘Pip’ is this: “Will further scandal follow for Phillip Schofield or will he simply left to fade away into the sunset along with his old mucker Gordon The Gopher?”

Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

Will further shocking stories about bitter bore Phillip Schofield emerge in wake of his departure from ITV1's 'This Morning'? #PhillipSchofield #Schofield #HollyWilloughby #Holly #ThisMorning #MattMcGreevy #TimothySchofield #SimonSchofield #ITV #sundayvibes #abuse #scandal #lies
— Matthew Steeples (@M_Steeples) May 21, 2023

This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples polled his 10,600 personal followers of @M_Steeples. He asked: “Will further shocking stories about bitter bore Phillip Schofield emerge in wake of his departure from ITV1’s ‘This Morning’?” By 11:30am on Sunday 21^st May 2023, the very clear majority of the 1,000 plus respondents took the view: “Yes; more scandals on the way.”

Twitter reacts to Matthew Steeples’s poll…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7mzqB6oQe8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPTahhXUxPw

Twitter delights in the disappearance of Phillip Schofield from ITV1’s daytime screens…

Wacky and weird Phillip Schofield’s worst moments…

On himself (in spite of being condemned by everyone from Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford to Nadine Dorries MP):

“I am only about 26 in my head.”

“If I was a pig to work with, I wouldn’t get asked back.”

“My dad was the archetypal charming man. If I’ve inherited even a small bit of what he had, that would be enough for me.”

“I’m incredibly sentimental, although I’m not one of those people who doesn’t chuck anything out; I don’t keep used tea bags, just special mementos.”

To his one-time ‘friend’ turned ‘runner’ (for a time) on This Morning, Matthew McGreevy (whom he met when the young whippersnapper was just 12 or 13 years old) asking him about what they might end up doing in three years:

“Well, if I’m still getting away with it, I’ll be a happy man.”

On the world in general:

“We live in a world that has very sharp edges. It can be very bitter.”

On Holly Willoughby (who subsequently has distanced herself from the crying cretin):

“Holly is my rock.”

On being gay (in spite of hidden such for years):

“I thought maybe I was bisexual.”

“If you ask anyone who is gay, they know, there is no confusion.”

“You never know what is going on someone’s head when they think they are leading the perfect life.”

As he cut off invited guests on ‘This Morning’ who he believed misgendered LGBTQX+ sorts:

“We’ll get back to the show and we’ll get back to 2017 and not get back to medieval Britain in just a moment.”

On his now ex-wife’s keenness to be rid of him:

“My wife Steph never tells me to take on less work; she’s just glad to have me out of the house.”

On birthdays:

“I hate birthdays.”

On putting wine ahead of family:

“Wine is the biggest passion of my life without question.”

“I don’t do anything by halves and wine is an expensive passion.”

On preferring to travel alone:

“In general, I’d say that I need to be with the right people in the right place, although one of the best holidays I ever had was alone.”

On quitting Twitter:

“I have another secret Twitter account.”

“There’s nothing that winds me up more on Twitter than people who are stupid and who say the most ridiculous things.”

On the people he’s interviewed:

“I’m not being arrogant or blasé, but I got a bigger buzz sitting opposite Jean-Bernard Delmas at Château Haut-Brion than I did from interviewing Elton John, Liza Minelli or Whitney Houston.”

“You can tell when you look at someone and think: ‘He’s on the brink of fainting’ or that certainly something’s not right.”

On offending people:

“I love the fact we do break taboos.”

Asked why he and Holly Willoughby skipped the 13-hour queue to attend the lying-in-state of the late Queen Elizabeth II:

“Have you got nothing better to do with your time? … Why should I apologise?”

On ghosts and his past life:

“[I have] a rule about never borrowing money… [I was] ‘murdered’ in a past life over a debt… I opened the door to silence and felt horror wash over me. Three steps in, and I saw them – two murdered bodies on the floor. knew they were my wife and small child. Horror turned to fury. I knew why they were dead. I owed money to two brothers who worked at the end of the street in a sawmill. The brother [then] found me, dragged me outside, punched me to the ground and, as my head hit the mud, he repeatedly stamped on it until I was dead!”

“Our back garden is allegedly haunted by a ghost called the Grey Lady. When one of my daughters was three, she said she’d been speaking to a lady in the garden and we went running around trying to find this woman. There was no one there.”

On refusing to go near churches:

“Going into a church reminds of the terrifying vision of [past life] death… [I am] not willing to take the risk again.”

To a flower pot that he felt got in his way on television:

“Go back to where you were, go back to where you were… Only I can see them.”

To Lady Colin Campbell (whom he was interviewing about her latest book on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex):

“For someone who allegedly moves in aristocratic circles, isn’t it all a bit tawdry and undignified? … Paul Burrell, who’d have thought we’d quote him, said of one of your previous books on the Queen: ‘You can only be a true, reliable witness to history if you are there. Lady Colin Campbell was none of these things.’ … You are a gossip. Well, you’re a gossip, but only when it suits you.”

Whilst interviewing television personality Kim Woodburn (who responded by slamming his rudeness):

“I know why people reacted in the way that they reacted to you. It’s because of the way you make me feel sitting on that sofa. You are already making me feel controversial. [You are] confrontational… We’re just asking you a question.”

On dealing with problems (in spite of being the creator of many himself):

“I’m a very good clearer-upper.”

Whilst shockingly sharing a list of ‘names’ of Conservative politicians live on-air with then Prime Minister David Cameron of those he believed might be abusers (he was subsequently forced to apologise and pay £125,000 to Lord McAlpine, an innocent man):

“I have those names there. Those are the names on a piece of paper. You know the names on that piece of paper. Will you be speaking to those people?”

On the ‘work’ he has done:

“I’m not a workaholic.”

“I do have a rule about how much I will take on. The last thing you want is to be on TV too much and for people to be sick of you.”

On being on television:

“I am very conscious of the fact I am in peoples’ living rooms every day and they feel like they know me.”

“I meet people who are so sniffy about daytime TV… Ghastly.”

“I don’t want people turning on the telly and going: ‘Dear God, not him again.’”

‘Schofe’s’ extremely curious history… “What’ll come next for this raging ratbag?” is indeed the question…

Gordon The Gopher (also known as ‘Gordon T. Gopher’) was Phillip Schofield’s puppet ‘friend’ on ‘Children’s BBBC’ (‘CBBC’) between 1985 and 1987. The yellow puppet gopher with red pads – which were said to “represent lobster claws” – is amongst the many that the now former ITV ‘This Morning’ presenter turned upon. Of the puppet, Schofield once told ‘Heat’ magazine: “Gordon the Gopher is in rehab. It’s all gone horribly wrong for him. It’s a shame. I’ve got a restraining order against him and we don’t speak. He’s quite bitter and he has been ever since I got my role in ‘Doctor Dolittle’ in the West End and he didn’t get offered the part. It was the straw that broke the gopher’s back.”

Phillip Schofield claims not to check Twitter anymore; he has also said he has a ‘secret account’ so most likely does monitor the many thousands of messages slamming his utterly reprehensible antics.

Phillip Schofield with his now convicted and now jailed criminal 54-year-old paedophile brother Timothy Schofield in happier times. After the verdict earlier in April – in a case where the television presenter’s civilian police officer sibling was convicted of three counts of causing a child to watch sexual activity and three counts of engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child – in a statement released by his lawyer, Phillip Schofield remarked: “My overwhelming concern is and has always been for the wellbeing of the victim and his family. I hope that their privacy will now be respected. If any crime had ever been confessed to me by my brother, I would have acted immediately to protect the victim and their family. These are despicable crimes and I welcome the guilty verdicts. As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.” Timothy Schofield was also found guilty of three counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity and two of sexual activity with a child at Exter Crown Court and had told the television presenter that he’d “had time together” (including watching porn and masturbating) with a child whilst the ‘This Morning’ host was doing the washing up in his very own kitchen.

On 8th November 2012, Schofield handed the then Prime Minister David Cameron a list of names of alleged sex offenders in the Conservative Party which he had found through research on the Internet. That list was partially visible to ‘This Morning’s’ millions of viewers and as a result one person on it, Lord McAlpine, sued. Subsequently, the broadcaster was quite rightly forced to issue and unreserved apology and a statement that read: “ITV and Phillip Schofield have now reached agreement with Lord McAlpine to settle his libel claim, made in relation to the This Morning programme broadcast… ITV and Phillip Schofield apologise unreservedly to Lord McAlpine, have agreed the terms of a statement to be made in open court, and have agreed to pay him damages of £125,000 and his legal costs.” According to ‘International Business,’ “the ITV settlement [was] reportedly less than McAlpine was seeking. However, the peer’s lawyer, Andrew Reid, said he was ‘pleased’ with ITV’s admission that it was wrong and called the settlement ‘pragmatic.’ … Reid told the BBC: ‘The Schofield stunt added fuel to the fire that was already there and we had to take that into account.”

Now former ITV1 ‘This Morning’ co-host Phillip Schofield cringed and looked as if he was about to snap when approached outside his West London home by GB News presenter Ben Leo in November 2022 about the ‘Queuegate’ scandal that utterly disgraced him. Here is a mouse-not-a-man who wrongly assumes that he’s some kind of national treasure worthy of not a jot of criticism.

Instead of skipping queues and upsetting the nation on multiple occasions, the all-round-angry man and now ex ‘This Morning’ host and ex-sidekick of Gordon the Gopher should now focus on improving his deservedly slammed boxed wines (right). He thought his red “perfect with olives” whilst the public decided it “better poured down the plughole.” Alternatively, he could put some effort into ‘making up’ with his missing from our screens for quite some time now former close friend, Matthew McGreevy.

The television presenter and all-round plonker with his supposed ‘former friend’ Matt McGreevy on another occasion.

On one occasion, Matthew McGreevy – who has allegedly since been made to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) – was paraded around on an episode of ‘This Morning’ in a just a pair of swimming trunks. Ruth Langsford looked on sheepishly whilst ‘Princess Tippy Toes’ swung into action and covered skinny McGreevy in sun tan lotion. Phillip Schofield’s role in orchestrating this puff piece remains unknown.

In recent days, Schofield has supposedly come to rely on a man named Simon Schofield (who is not a relation, but whom the ‘Daily Mail’ this week most tellingly described as like “a rock” to the now ex ‘This Morning’ presenter). Here, the latter is pictured with the pair’s ‘friend’ Matthew McGreevy.

The ‘This Morning’ host is known for being a very angry and bitter man. Like Ferne McCann (pictured right), a fellow presenter on ITV1 with a reputation for being an utter rotter and for having had a child with a monster who threw acid over innocent people in a London nightclub, he is also known for being incapable of owning his own mistakes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YbI0TH6ij0

May 21, 2023
Branding Henley’s Wallaby Killer

Russell Brand should be condemned not congratulated after his rabid dog killed a wallaby in the scene of weird animalistic happenings, Henley-on-Thames

In July 2014, we featured the sale of a “chocolate box” thatched cottage – with the rather predictable name ‘Thatched Cottage’ – next to the River Thames at Mile End Reach, near Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire that had featured in the Inspector Morse sequel Lewis on two occasions.

Visited in that murder mystery series by the since gone-utterly-off-his-merry-rocker actor Laurence Fox in his role as DS James Hathaway, by February 2016, Thatched Cottage had become the real-life home to the near equal wack job Russell Brand. Now, after a particularly gruesome incident, it ought to be the scene of a real-life police and RSPCA visitation.

In May this year, when The Steeple Times reported on a red kite attacking a 2-year-old toddler (with the amusingly ironic name of Frankie Bird) for a custard cream in Henley-on-Thames, we also mentioned incidents of wallabies bounding around the vicinity of the ritzy town previously most famous for its annual regatta.

Supposedly escapees from a nearby private zoo along with a chimpanzee also in 2002, the “delinquent” (according to the Evening Standard) wallabies of Henley – like other wildlife that does as it wishes in these environs – suffered a calamity courtesy of Brand’s deviant dog last Monday.

According to The Sun, vegan rent-a-gob Brand’s German Shepherd dog, Bear, caught a female wallaby “whilst it had its baby in its pouch” and “mauled it to death.”

Unlike with another irresponsible dog owner previously featured by The Steeple Times, Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC – whose snarling terrier tore a defenceless seal apart in March this year – the media has yet to tear into Brand for not having kept his dog on a lead. Unbelievably, instead, they bigged up this brazen bozo as a “brave… funnyman.”

Bizarrely terming this complete and utter wazzock wastrel “quick thinking” and a hero,” but neglecting to condemn him for allowing his out-of-control pet for disgustingly slaying another animal, the paper instead focused on how the crackpot comedian “sprang into action.”

One is now simply left asking: “Why is The Sun so ludicrously lauding Russell Brand for ‘rescuing’ the victim’s offspring joey from its pouch as its parent died the most hideous of deaths, when it was, in fact, his very own self-declared ‘tornado of fear’ dog that caused this utterly avoidable incident?”

If Brand’s dog had attacked sheep or a child – which it quite potentially could do next given it plainly has a clear penchant for blood – would The Sun so easily have leapt to his defence? The hypocrisy of this shocking story is clear and today we call upon the RSPCA and police to intervene before Brand’s dog slaughters something else.

Russell Brand’s home, Thatched Cottage at Mile End Reach, near Henley-on-Thames was used for the filming of two episodes of ‘Lewis’ – starring Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox – before being sold to the crackpot ‘comedian’ circa 2016.

Russell Brand with his killer dog, Bear. Unsurprisingly and quite possibly an invented source ridiculously remarked of the rabid beast to ‘The Sun’ yesterday: “Absolutely no one is blaming Russell or his dog — it’s just a horrible accident. In fact, Russell was the hero because he managed to save the little joey. It could have been far worse if he hadn’t stepped in so quickly. He is a very caring man with animals – he has plenty of pets and they’re all his babies. I understand he’s devastated over what happened. It’s really sad.”

Brand’s dog, Bear, with a lamb that one can only hope was not injured subsequently and looking especially savage whilst with its owner’s kittens.

Prior to Russell Brand’s dog, Bear, going on the rampage, the weird wildlife of Henley-on-Thames was able to roam freely and without incident. His dog, Bear, now, must be classified as a very grave danger and the police and RSPCA must act.

June 21, 2021
The Money of McCann

Gerry and Kate McCann rake in £773,600 of private money in spite of admitting there is “nothing much to report” 14 years into the fast approaching £13 million public funded investigation into the dubious ‘disappearance’ of their daughter Madeleine

Not content with having garnered over £12.5 million in public funding for the police investigation with a further £300,000 top-up likely to come soon, it has this week been revealed that Gerry and Kate McCann’s privately administered fund now has an astonishing net worth of £773,629.

Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Ltd. – which counts controversial double glazing tycoon Brian Kennedy, a man whom once bizarrely claimed he “had visions of flying in by helicopter to rescue Madeleine,” amongst its directors since 16^th May 2007 – is listed as having £235,900 in cash and £245,000 in assets in newly released accounts.

Whilst last week, Dr and Mrs McCann told the Mirror that they “still believe in miracles,” in a post on the ‘Official Find Madeleine Campaign’ Facebook page the particularly pugnacious pair also had to admit of the investigation: “Nothing much to report.”

Previously, a ‘friend’ (‘unnamed,’ of course, as is so often the case with anyone speaking on behalf of those close to the case of missing Madeleine McCann) of Dr and Mrs McCann remarked:

“Kate and Gerry know the police investigation cannot go on forever.”

“When [the police investigation] is shelved, and if there is no result, Kate and Gerry will use money in the fund to continue the hunt.”

“That is what it is there for. They paid for their own team of private investigators initially and when the official inquiry ends they will do so again although in the past it has proven to be extremely costly.”

Today, again, we ask: “Why does so much public money continue to be wasted on an investigation that has achieved nothing in 14 years and why is another £300,000 about to be given from the public purse when other missing person searches get little to nothing? Why is this disproportionate allocation of taxpayer funded resources allowed to go on?”

The Money of McCann – Ben Needham, then aged just 1, disappeared on the Greek island of Kos on 24th July 1991. He has been missing for over 29 year and in the time since his mother, Kerry Needham, has shockingly come under attack from supporters of the family of Madeleine McCann. Of this in October 2015, she commented: “It feels like a personal attack on me. It is deeply, deeply hurtful. I have myself had massive amounts of slanderous abuse from supporters of the McCann campaign in the past but I have never taken that personally. It’s freedom of speech. But it is getting the names of two missing children out there which is really important.”

The Money of McCann – Luke Durbin disappeared aged just 19 in Suffolk in May 2006. In spite of his mother’s tireless campaign to attempt to find her vanished son, why don’t the police devote more resources to the search for him?

The Money of McCann – Martin Allen vanished without a trace in London on 5th November 1979 aged just 15. Though his brother, Kevin Allen, has kept the case in the public eye as much as he can, he gets little to no help from the Metropolitan Police. Again today, we ask: “Why isn’t money from the public purse allocated to solving this case and thousands like it and why, instead, has fast approaching £13 million been allocated to a case that has not been solved in 14 years?”

The Money of McCann – In September 2018, Ben Needham’s mother Kerry quite rightly told ITV1’s ‘Loose Women’ that “it hurts” that so much money has been allocated to the search for Madeleine McCann whilst so little has been given to aid help other families find their missing relatives. She added: “[Madeleine] deserves to be found, but so does Ben. We haven’t had a fraction, I’ve had to fight alone as a single mum and try to get the help that Ben deserves… I don’t take anything away from anyone who’s got a loved one who is missing, but every single one deserves to be found.”

April 27, 2021
Bonkers Book Sexchange Saga

Reaction of “pooterish residents” of Hurstbourne Tarrant, Hampshire to community library becoming a “book sexchange” is laughable and condemned as “righteous indignation”

‘Book Sexchange’ scandal hits Hants – You’d have thought any populous would be grateful, especially in times of lockup boredom, for a book exchange, but the raucous residents of Hurstbourne Tarrant in Hampshire (population 851) most certainly are not after erotic fiction was discovered in their phone box library.

Echoing the uproar that followed our having made bookseller Olivia Clements a ‘Heroine of the Hour’ in February after she installed a free community library box in her garden in Exeter, a spokesman for the local council complained: “We love our phone box library but we don’t love salacious adult literature being left in there… Please find another outlet for your collection.”

Speaking to The Sun, a local councillor, Kirsty North, furiously exclaimed: “This certainly wasn’t what I had in mind when the village bought the kiosk,” whilst an angry parish council clerk named Miriam Edwards added:

“A lot of people don’t find this funny. We don’t want this made into some sort of laughing stock and a sideshow when the underlying issue is actually very important. We don’t want somebody acting like it’s OK to put porn in a public phone box.”

Analysed further by Daniel Johnson in The Article yesterday also in an article titled: “The great British telephone box library scandal,” the “righteous indignation” and of the “pooterish” South Downs National Park residents about “smutty paperbacks in a phone box” was deservedly condemned. He quite rightly observed:

“Is it possible that the good people of Hurstbourne Tarrant are stuck in a 1950s time warp, perhaps connected with their telephone kiosk library? (Where is Doctor Who when you need her?) Has news of the Lady Chatterley trial and the abolition of censorship yet to reach this corner of the South Downs National Park, an area of outstanding natural beauty and seemingly of unnatural prudishness?”

“The point about libraries – even very, very small ones – is that they almost always contain books that are ‘inappropriate’ for somebody. But the moral jeopardy of letting children roam fancy-free among the bookcases is far outweighed by the value of serendipity – the magical moment when a child discovers the joy of reading for him or herself.”

“To treat adult literature as dangerous is to infantilise young readers – and counter-productive, too. Do parents and teachers worry about child protection every time boys and girls set foot in the local public library, lest they stray into the ‘grown-up’ sections? In reality, most are more likely to be glad that the kids are reading books at all, rather than spending their leisure looking at who-knows-what online. Their innocence is at incomparably greater risk from the smartphones they all have.”

In March 2013, we reported that the number of BT telephone boxes in the UK had declined from 92,000 to just 51,500 in 2012. Since then many more have been removed and in their place a book exchange would surely be a good thing for any community – unless, of course, you are a doddering denizen of Hurstbourne Tarrant, of course.

Bonkers Book Sexchange Saga 2021 – A unnamed less prudish resident of Hurstbourne Tarrant told ‘The Sun’: “I have heard that there are some salacious books – I’m number 20 in the queue.” The paper added: “One title is ‘Hot Blooded’ by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguié. The blurb reveals that one character is ‘struggling to resist her own animal urges’.”

Bonkers Book Sexchange Saga 2021 – When we featured the generous act of Olivia Clements in setting up a community library in her garden in Exeter in February, a tedious twerp named Mark Wicks took to Twitter and complained that it was “a really middle class thing to do with no real understanding of collection management or the role of libraries as a place maker in the local community.” We’d like to know what good Mr Wicks has ever done for anybody and what he has to say about Hurstbourne Tarrant’s ‘book sexchange’ scandal also.

March 13, 2021
Monster of the Moment 2021 – Merelize van der Merwe

Giraffe slaying monster Merelize van der Merwe posed with its heart after being given the chance to slay one as a Valentine’s Day present

Whilst we’ve repeatedly covered the antics of the mentally unhinged serial endangered species killer Larysa Switlyk, today the Mirror published images of another monster posing with a “Valentine’s gift” in the form of the heart of a giraffe she’d just shot.

Shockingly shared elsewhere on Facebook by the perpetrator heself, 32-year-old Merelize van der Merwe’s “wonderful husband paid £1,500 to make her five-year dream come true at a game park last Sunday,” the paper’s Sean Rayment reported.

Going further, the Mirror revealed: “She plans to use her 17-year-old victim’s skin as a rug – and posted her pic with the comment: ‘Ever wondered how big a giraffe’s heart is? I’m over the moon with my Valentines present!’”

In response to this shocking news, Elisa Allen of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals quite rightly concluded:

“One day, trophy hunting will be listed as a sign of a psychiatric disorder, as it should be today. It is grandiosity, serial killing, and bloodlust paired with a burning desire to show off.”

A Change.org petition seeking to ban self-proclaimed “public figure” van der Merwe from Facebook was started 4 years ago, but unlike The Steeple Times’ one seeking to achieve the same for fellow Donald Trump obsessive Larysa Switlyk on Instagram, attracted just 457 supporters and was closed.

Join the 17,100 people who’ve already signed a Change.org petition seeking to get ‘blue ticked’ bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk banned from Instagram by clicking here. One seeking to achieve the same for Merelize van der Merwe on Facebook deserves to achieve a similar level of success.

Update: 22^nd February 2020 – A petition seeking to ban Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook is now live on Change.org. Please sign it by clicking here.

Deranged deviant Merelize van der Merwe on…

Death threats

“So, after all these death threats from people sitting comfortably behind a computer 15,000 kilometers away, it made me realise one thing… I haven’t hunted enough! So, I’ll go hunt some more tonight!”

Mental disorders

“We have seen mental disorders grow especially with social media giving these people a voice and openly expressing unnatural hatred towards people they never met with Instagram and Facebook. We in the hunting industry I’m sure deals [sic] with more of these unstable people then the psychiatric ward itself.”

“So please next time if someone attacks you for hunting, just remind them they forgot their pills this morning and let’s get these people under control.”

Truth and poetry and hunting

“Truth is like poetry and most people f**king hate poetry… Same when it comes to hunting and conservation people only listen to what they want to hear and not the truth.”

Liberals

“It’s just these new age liberals who piss and moan and say hunting isn’t natural… You aren’t natural.”

Kenya

“Kenya has sold its soul to the devil, AKA animal rights activists.”

Prince Harry

“Soon he’ll be back in diapers.”

Donald Trump

“I love Trump because he pisses off all the people I can’t stand.”

“What a privilege it was to look up to a President and know how a President should run a country. Today many are heartbroken across the world.”

“I salute you President Trump. What a man you are and may God bless you on your next chapter in life.”

On those that opposed Trump

“Eat a bag of dicks you dirty f**king communists.”

Celebrating killing an elephant

“After the elephant was down I went to buy beer and gin for team motivation. The next day I looked like a red crab.”

Why she likes killing elephants

“Tell me how hunting [elephants] doesn’t benefit people and the ecosystem.”

How she feels after a “kill”

“I was like a child for two weeks, counting the days. Afterwards I was flooded with emotions.”

People who protect elephants

“Never underestimate the power of stupid.”

People who object to the vile images she shares on social media

“To the dumb f**k who tried to report my video, take this and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.”

“If you’re looking for a safe space, my page ain’t it… Move along, snowflake.”

Charity and hunting

“Charity is not sustainable, hunting is.”

Killing endangered species and conservation

“The only people protecting these animals are trophy hunters.”

Why she massacres endangered species

“In the end I’m nothing but yet another slave to this trade and a willing one too. The only time I find peace is living life on the edge. I firmly believe one is born like this and not made.”

“We will keep on fighting the animal rights mafia propaganda as hunting has proven sustainable for wildlife.”

“A day without blood is like a day without sunshine… Nature is not a Disney fairytale.”

Citrus farmer van der Merwe shared images of herself holding the giraffe’s heart and others preparing to butcher the poor slayed animal on her Facebook page.

In a previous post, she showed an image of herself proudly posing covered in the blood of one of her victims.

Just like her fellow massacring monster Larysa Switlyk, Merelize van der Merwe is a Donald Trump obsessive. The pair plainly need to get a room.

Here, Merelize van der Merwe is pictured with an elephant she murdered.

Another picture of the deranged deviant Merelize van der Merwe with a dead elephant and another of her victims.

Merelize van der Merwe’s Facebook is peppered with her victims. Supposedly she’s “celebrated” over 500 kills including this unfortunate hippo.

A lion she killed in the back of a truck.

Leopards are amongst her favourite prey supposedly.

This vile woman plainly will kill anything.

Merelize van der Merwe and her husband Gerhardt with two more beautiful animals they senselessly slayed.

The wicked witch Merelize van der Merwe must be stopped and just like Larysa Switlyk, she must be banned from social media.

February 21, 2021
MacBook Maxwell

Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers demand she gets access to a laptop seven days per week; one can assume she’ll expect a ritzy MacBook Pro

“What Ghislaine Maxwell wants, Ghislaine Maxwell gets” would be a fair summary of the past life of the now incarcerated and thankfully not bailed mucky madam.

Yesterday, having previously moaned about her not having a desk, writing surface or email access in August 2020, her lawyer, Christian R. Everdell of Cohen & Gresser LLP, wrote to The Honourable Alison J. Nathan to demand “the Bureau of Prisons give Ms. Maxwell access to the laptop computer [which has more than generously already been made available to her 5 days per week] provided by the government so that she can review discovery on weekends and holidays.”

In spite of her trial commencing in 178 days on 12^th July, mucky madam Maxwell’s lawyers argue she is losing “several days of review time every weekend and every holiday because she does not have access to the laptop.”

Going further, they remarked that they have tried to “lift this restriction, but without success” previously and added:

“If Ms. Maxwell is to have any hope of reviewing the millions of documents produced in discovery so that she can properly prepare her defense by the July 12^th, 2021 trial date, she must have access to the laptop every day, including weekends and holidays.”

“There is no principled justification for this restriction… The laptop is kept in a locker in the same room where the prison computer is located, so it would not require any change in Ms. Maxwell’s movements to give her the requested access.”

“… Given the millions of documents that Ms. Maxwell must review before trial in order to prepare her defense, it is critical that she be given as much time as possible with the laptop to review the discovery.”

Whatever next? Aside from Maxwell – who also repeatedly complained about her vegan eating habits not being properly catered for in the pokey – no doubt wanting an upgrade to a ritzy MacBook Pro, she’ll almost certainly be demanding Krug on tap next also. What else? Maybe even more inappropriately given what she grubbily used to arrange for the filthy fiend Jeffrey Epstein, a weekly visit from a masseuse as well and a Rolls-Royce to court also?

MacBook Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell, a woman used to having things her way is pictured here in her youth tapping away at an early computer, but that wouldn’t be good enough for her today. No doubt her devoted lapdog-like PR peddler Brian Basham will soon be claiming “it’s not fair” that she doesn’t have a MacBook Pro.

MacBook Maxwell – On Tuesday, the ‘Guardian’ reported: “Ghislaine Maxwell is appealing against a judge’s order that she remain jailed in New York while awaiting trial on charges she recruited girls for Jeffrey Epstein to sexually abuse.” Prosecutors unsurprisingly opposed bail and countered: “Maxwell remained a threat to flee in part because she had access to considerable wealth and connections abroad.”

MacBook Maxwell – Part of an old ‘HELLO!’ magazine interview with Ghislaine Maxwell from 1997 was shared on Reddit yesterday also. It features a picture of ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ bombastic daughter standing in a cluttered office space and includes quotes such as: “I will go wherever the business is” and remarks including: “I love children… I have always thought that one day I would get married and kids but it has never been a focus. It is not something I have set out to do. My focus is on business, but one day I would also like to get married and have kids.” Going further, the laptop lover added: “I do consulting work for different people in different areas in which I have expertise: publishing, communications, computers.” Get this wicked wench a MacBook Pro now, OR ELSE…

January 15, 2021
Dining With The Dopey Dorks

Prince Andrew and his daughter’s dining habits – and the tall tales about did-he-or-didn’t-he go to Pizza Express (Woking branch) – get this dopey dork-like pair into hot water yet again

Prince Andrew wants to be remembered for going to ‘nanny’s day off’ eateries like Pizza Express to get a non-sweaty alibi. He likely won’t. His daughter, Princess Beatrice, doesn’t want to be remembered for going to chi-chi Mayfair munching spots like Isabel for rule breaking rendezvous. She most definitely did.

Here, in yet another case of ‘like-father-like-daughter’ (no doubt guided by the advice of the childlike live-in ex-wife and mother Sarah Ferguson), these royal embarrassments have shoved their hooves into the proverbial yet again. As self-entitled and dumb as they are, will this thicko family never learn?

Whilst Princess Beatrice has been slammed for ‘doing a Kay Burley’ and breaching Tier 2 Covid regulations by The Sun, the fact that her dad ‘Randy Andy’s’ Pizza Express alibi has been basically trash canned is proof that the House of York should now be the one family in Britain actually adapting Boris Johnson’s monotonous mantra. Instead of: “Stay at Home, Save Lives,” it’s time for these rotten royals to: “Stay at Home, Stop the Lies.” A Bachelors Cup-A-Soup for dinner, Beatrice?

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Dining With The Dorks – The Duke of York’s seemingly preposterous Pizza Express Woking alibi has deservedly been the source of ridicule now for more than a year. Here is a man, after all, who’s known for his love of spending other peoples’ money enjoying luxuries such as Bentleys, helicopters and private jets and for enjoying the company of the notorious skinflint Bernie Ecclestone.

Dining With The Dorks – Of Princess Beatrice’s dinner at Isabel, one fellow diner told ‘The Sun’: “Bea should be setting a better example. I couldn’t believe my eyes. If the royal family can’t get coronavirus rules right, what hope for the rest of us? … One of my pals saw her and started joking, ‘Orf with her head’ and ‘Send her to the Tower.’”

Dining With The Dorks – Whilst Prince Andrew likes to go low-key and dine at Pizza Express (Woking branch), his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson likes to live it up in ‘Celebrity Waitrose’ in Belgravia. If she simply took her family home a few ‘Meal Deals,’ she could save the House of York a lot of embarrassment. Get to it ‘Queen of Toe Sucking!’

December 14, 2020
Fergie’s Banger Clanger

As the anniversary of Prince Andrew’s car crash interview approaches, Sarah Ferguson pulls another clanger and bangs on about sausages in a feature for ‘The Sun’

On a day when sausage rolls are trending on Twitter with the hashtag #ASausageCaRoll, Sarah Ferguson just couldn’t help but get in on the act.

After sharing crazed videos of herself playing with cupcakes – which she bizarrely termed ‘bathtub teddies’ in spite of the sexual abuse allegations about what her ex-husband got upto in Ghislaine Maxwell’s tub still circulating – the lover of a good old toe suck is at it again.

This morning, ‘Fergie’ – whose husband’s disastrous interview with Emily Maitlis about his late paedophile friend Jeffrey Epstein brought utter shame on the House of York – wrote a comment piece for The Sun.

It is not known how much this mouthy woman was paid by the newspaper or whether she’s actually repaid the money she was loaned by Epstein yet also, but the fact that it was titled: “I found consolation in sausages” about says it all. If clanger prone Sarah Ferguson had any sense, she would now simply do the decent thing: Follow Prince Harry’s lead and disappear into the sunset (with a packet of sausages).

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Fergie’s Banger Clanger – Sarah Ferguson has a habit of choosing stories to read on her ‘Storytime with Fergie and Friends’ YouTube channel with titles that don’t exactly help her disgraced ex-husband. He could easily be called a “grizzly itch” and she herself should be told to “go inside.”

Fergie’s Banger Clanger – Equally, the Duke of York could be called a “little pig” and completing his threesome would be the late Jeffrey Epstein and his jailed bestie Ghislaine Maxwell.

November 11, 2020
Starve a Kid to Save a Quid

‘Starve a Kid to Save a Quid’ goes viral in the wake of the government’s disastrous attempt to starve poor school kids whilst Tory MPs deservedly get banned from shops and restaurants

Shared on Twitter this morning by @WhatEuroPinion, a poster placed “in a shop window in lovely Lancashire” perfectly sums up public opinion in reaction to the government’s decision to vote to not fund the feeding of poor children.

The notice pictured stated:

“POLITE NOTICE – David Morris MP is barred from entering this store for voting to starve children.”

“Along with 322 other Conservative MPs, he voted against extending free meals for kids.”

“He has been listed one of the top ten MPs claiming expenses with £77,676.00 so far.”

“He has also voted to give himself a pay rise of nearly £3,400.00.”

“Thatcher starved the miners, Morris starved the minors.”

Whilst elsewhere even usually amongst the right wing drum bangers Nigel Farage and Sarah Vine – whom condemned the policy stating: “Short of drowning a basket of puppies live on air, I can’t think of a worse communications fail” this morning – shot down the “Marcus Rashford/free school meals debacle,” another image that went viral summed up the policy perfectly.

Featuring a shot of the Tory leader and chancellor of in the House of Commons, it was accompanied by Boris Johnson asking: “Rishi, what’s the new slogan to follow ‘Eat Out to Help Out’?” and Sunak replying: “Starve a Kid to Save a Quid.”

Shame on the lot of them.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

Starve a Kid to Save a Quid – Marcus Rashford’s campaign should have been supported. Instead, the government’s own goal in opposing it has been universally slammed.

Starve a Kid to Save a Quid – The government’s decision to starve poor children has unsurprisingly caused a national uproar at a time when MPs shamelessly voted to award themselves a £3,400 per annum pay rise.

October 25, 2020
Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed

Matthew Steeples selects some of the most telling and cringeworthy remarks from the newly unsealed 2016 Ghislaine Maxwell deposition

On Thursday, I ploughed through all 465 pages of the newly unsealed April 2016 deposition of Ghislaine Maxwell at the law offices of Boies Schiller & Flexner. After being promised lurid details of ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ daughter’s “wild sex life” and her lawyers claiming it’d “spread like wildfire across the Internet” (and thus prejudice her trial), overall it was just a bit of a damp squib.

Whilst the bombshells many were hoping for simply did not emerge and though most names redacted could easily be identified – Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton included – what the mainstream media avoided mentioning was that there were many telling remarks and many contradictory statements in the unsealed document.

Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed – Ghislaine Maxwell with her chum Prince Andrew and accuser Virginia Giuffre at her London home. During the deposition, Miss Maxwell referred to Ms. Giuffre as a “liar” hundreds of times.

Aside from the fact that ‘Grubby Ghislaine’ clearly illustrated she has her late conman father’s temper in an episode of table thumping, Miss Maxwell’s evasiveness in avoiding giving straightforward answers was transparent. She also showed her own true character and also illustrated the lengths she would go to protect the late Jeffrey Epstein.

With the public set to see this mucky madam on trial next year, we can now anticipate the approach this devious devil will take. It’ll be bombastic and bold, but she’ll unlikely be doing anything that puts her great mate, the non-sweating, Pizza Express loving royal, at risk – that’s for sure.

Here below, we select a few of the amusing and strange questions and quotes from what was unsealed:

Ghislaine Maxwell gets questioned about a John Bryan – Duchess of York-esque ‘toe sucking’ equivalent incident:

Q – “Did you ever ask [Virginia Giuffre] to rub Jeffrey’s feet?

A – “I believe that I have read that, but I don’t have any memory of it.”

Asked about “sexual acts,” Maxwell – a woman well-known for teaching other women how to give blowjobs at dinner tables – unconvincingly answered:

A – “I don’t know what you mean by sexual acts.”

A – “I’ve never had non-consensual sex with anybody… At any time with anybody.”

Curiously defining her citizenships:

Q – “Are you a citizen of the United States?”

A – “I am.”

Q – “Are you also a citizen of England?”

A – “I am.”

Q – “Are you a citizen of any other land?”

A – “TerraMar.”

Q – “That’s the name of your charity project that deals with oceans, is that correct?”

A – “Yeah. I’m French as well.”

Bizarrely asked to define her own sex, Maxwell was honest in one regard:

Q – “Are you a female, is that the sex that you are?

A – “I am female… I am a 54-year-old woman.”

On sex toys:

Q – “How would you describe sex toys?”

A – “I wouldn’t describe sex toys.”

A – “I need you to define a sex toy, I don’t have enough knowledge of sex toys.”

On her and Jeffrey Epstein’s star-studded address book:

A – “I believe this a copy of a stolen document. I would like to know how you guys got it… You have the stolen document.”

A – “Like everybody, I have an address book.”

Put in her place by the interviewer:

A – “Let’s move on.”

Q – “I’m in charge of the deposition. I say when we move on and when we don’t. You are here to respond to my questions. If you are refusing to answer, the court will bring you back for another deposition to answer these questions. Do you understand that?”

A – “You have got your questions mangled… You have mangled your entire questions… I have to object.”

Q – “You don’t get to object… She is turning into a lawyer already.”

A – “I would like to.”

A – “I apologise sincerely for my banging at the table earlier, I hope you accept my apology.”

Asked if she was responsible for Jeffrey Epstein’s activities and actions, Maxwell replied:

A – “I’m not responsible for what Jeffrey does and I don’t always pay attention to what happens in the house. I’m very busy.”

On whether she ‘recruited’ girls for her boss/lover:

A – “Stop right there. I never recruited girls, let’s stop there. Break down the question.”

Q – “Have you ever said to anybody that you recruit females?”

A – “I don’t recruit anybody.”

A – “I resent and despise the word recruit… I never had to do anything with underage people.”

On whether she ‘recruited’ girls to take the sexual activity pressure off herself:

Q – “Have you ever said to anybody that you recruit other females… to take the pressure you having to have sex with Jeffrey?”

A – “I totally resent it and find it disgusting that you should use the word recruit. I have already told you I don’t know what you are saying and your implication is repulsive.”

A – “I never trained a female under the age of 18 at Jeffrey’s house.”

On her thoughts on the deposition process:

A – “You don’t ask me questions like that. First of all, you are trying to trap me, I will not be trapped.”

A – “Any interest I have is in accuracy. I’m only looking for accuracy.”

A – “Apparently, even saying Virginia is a liar has hazards.”

A – “You are trying to trap me.”

Asked about her interaction with naked people in Epstein’s residences, Maxwell brushed such aside:

A – “Sometimes… I have seen people from time to time take their top off. I have seen people from time to time do that.”

On whether she photographed naked people:

A – “It is possible that I took pictures of people that were somehow semi [nude] or had some clothes on or no clothes on, but at no time were any of those pictures remotely inappropriate… I know where you are headed with this and it’s nowhere appropriate and it’s really unattractive.”

Asked about her interactions with Virginia Giuffre – with whom she flew on private plans on at least twenty occasions and with whom she was pictured in her London home with Prince Andrew – Maxwell clearly lied:

A – “I don’t recall meeting her.”

A – “I wouldn’t recollect meeting her at all but for the tissue stories about this situation.”

A – “I really have no recollection of her.”

A – “I barely recall Virginia, period.”

A – “I don’t recall smoking cigarettes with Virginia Roberts.”

A – “Virginia is a liar… An exaggerator, a fantasist and an absolutely true terrible person.”

A – “I said that there are some things [Virginia] may not have lied about.”

On whether she had sex with Jeffrey Epstein and Virginia Giuffre:

A – “I never ever, at any single time, at any point ever participated in anything with Virginia and Jeffrey. And for the record she is an absolute total liar and you all know she lied on multiple things and that is just one other disgusting thing she added.”

On whether she dined with Virginia Giuffre with Prince Andrew in London at Tramp:

Q – “Do you recall going to dinner with XXX, Jeffrey Epstein and Virginia Roberts in London at any time?”

A – “I do not.”

Q – “Do you recall going to a place called XXX, XXX, Jeffrey Epstein and yourself and Virginia Roberts?”

A – “I would just like to state for the record XXXXXXXX I do not have any recollection of it and I doubt it happened.”

On whether Prince Andrew and Virginia Giuffre had sex in a bath at her Kinnerton Street, Belgravia, London home:

“The tub is too small.”

On whether she and Jeffrey Epstein gave Prince Andrew a Spitting Image puppet of himself and whether they got Virginia Giuffre to “play with him” whilst sitting on his lap:

A – “There was a puppet… A caricature of XXX.”

On Jeffrey Epstein’s sexual activity preferences:

Q – “Does Jeffrey like to have his nipples pinched during sexual encounters?”

A – “I’m not talking about any adult sexual things when I was with him.”

Questioned about the number of occasions she’d flown on the ‘Lolita Express’ and other Epstein planes:

A – “I cannot tell you how many, a lot.”

Asked about a 13-year-old victim of Epstein whom came to one of his residences:

A – “I have no idea how old she was… I have no idea… I don’t hire girls like that.”

Turning to a 14-year old:

Q – “Was she a child?”

A – “I don’t know what you mean if she looked like a child… Leave it at that… You are making stories up again as usual, there would not be any reason why I would ask her how old she was.”

On a total of 30 underage minors allegedly being brought to Jeffrey Epstein’s Palm Beach house:

A – “I cannot testify to 30.”

On whether Jeffrey Epstein abused minors:

A – “I can’t testify what Jeffrey did or didn’t do.”

A – “I never observed Jeffrey having sex with a minor.”

Q – “I’m asking what you believe, from your own belief, do you believe that Jeffrey Epstein abused minors?”

A – “I can only go from what I know personally about what Virginia’s lies talked about. She is the only person I know that actually claimed that. And I can say with certitude that everything Virginia said was a lie.”

A – “I don’t believe [Jeffrey Epstein] was sentenced for [sexual abuse of a minor] actually.”

Asked if she’d ever seen Jeffrey Epstein – with whom she had an intimate relationship with herself – having sex:

A – “I have never seen anybody have sexual intercourse with Jeffrey, ever.”

On whether she was ever in a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein herself:

A – “That’s a tricky question. There were times when I would have liked to think of myself as his girlfriend.”

A – “I don’t think I said I was his girlfriend.”

A – “I don’t think I would ever have characterised myself as his girlfriend.”

A – “I’m sure I would [have] loved anybody to come out and say they were Jeffrey rather than me.”

On whether she was asked to ‘carry’ a baby for Jeffrey Epstein:

A – “I don’t recollect conversation about Jeffrey and babies in any form… I don’t recollect baby conversations with Jeffrey.”

Asked if she’d ‘organised’ for Virginia Giuffre to have sex with others:

A – “I have never instructed Virginia to have sex with anybody, ever.”

On allegedly dressing Viriginia Giuffre up as a school girl when giving massages:

A – “I have no idea what you are talking about… I have no idea what you are talking about… I clearly know what a school girl outfit is. I have no recollection of providing anybody with a school girl outfit.”

On President Clinton being on ‘Paedo Island’ with Virginia Giuffre and herself and whether Jeffrey Epstein dined with him:

“Virginia is absolutely, totally lying. This is a subject of defamation about Virginia and the lies she has told and one of [the] lies she told was that President Clinton was on the island where I was present. Absolutely 1,000 per cent that is a flat out total fabrication and lie.”

“Allegations that XXX had a meal on Jeffrey’s island is 100 per cent false… I’m sure he had a meal on Jeffrey’s plane.”

On why she kept in touch with Jeffrey Epstein after his conviction:

“I’m a very loyal person and Jeffrey was very good to me when my father passed away and I believe that you need to be a good friend in people’s hour of need and I felt that it was very thoughtful, nice thing for me to do.”

On how much she got paid and what benefits she received post Epstein’s conviction:

Q – “Were you paid over a million dollars?”

A – “It was under 500, it was an amount of money less than $500,000, less than a million dollars and I did it out of thoughtfulness and consideration for somebody who was in trouble.”

A – “I don’t recall the details of the cars [I was given].”

A – “I don’t recall any gifts really… I barely recall gifts, I barely recall a lot of this.”

On her legal ‘arrangement’ with Jeffrey Epstein:

Q – “Do you have a joint defence with Jeffrey Epstein?”

A – “I believe I do.”

On her legal ‘arrangement’ with (presumably) Prince Andrew:

Q – “Do you have a joint agreement with XXX?”

A – “I don’t believe I do.”

On what dirt Jeffrey Epstein might have on her:

Q – “What negative, unflattering, private or potentially embarrassing information does Jeffrey Epstein know about you?”

A – “I imagine none.”

A – “I can’t think of anything I have ever done that is illegal… I have a DUI in the UK a long time ago.”

On where Jeffrey Epstein got his wealth:

Q – “Do you know how Jeffrey Epstein made his money?”

A – “No… I have no idea.”

On where she was then living:

“I’m just couch surfing.”

For more fascinating revelations about this ever-developing case, listen to the brilliantly put together The Prince & the Pervert Podcast’ by clicking here.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed – Ghislaine Maxwell with Jeffrey Epstein at a memorial event for her late conman father Robert Maxwell on 24th November 1991 at the Plaza Hotel in New York.

Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed – Ghislaine Maxwell is used to having things her way and here she is pictured in her youth tapping away at an early computer. In August 2020, she demanded the prison housing her give her another device and a desk also – her request was unsurprisingly denied.

October 24, 2020