Monday, January 2, 2023

Overheard – 8th April

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

 

Candy Knockers

At Scalini in Knightsbridge, two brash housebuilders from Essex sat devouring veal chops. One referenced his idols and observed: “The Candy brothers have a brilliant setup. They are like the Peter Stringfellows of property”. The other looked puzzled but the first continued: “They’ve got properties that sell as well as Katie Price’s knockers. What assets! Value for money? I don’t know. But, impressive? Hell yeah!” Try telling that to Mark Holyoake.

 

You’ve Got That Sinking Feeling

The same duo moved on to talking about their respective staff. The louder of the two offered his thoughts: “I’m so proud of Ray. He’s like the Titanic. He’s like the best ship in the world. Not because it sank but because it was the best ship in the world”. The other opined: “It still f**king sank and Ray will still f**king sink too”. All that was needed next was for My Heart Will Go On to play.

 

Housing the Godly

Two priests were spotted drinking Bloody Marys at the bar at PJ’s on Fulham Road. The first remarked: “I never quite manage to get given houses”. The second answered: “Shocking, isn’t it? I look through Country Life each week and I think: ‘All I get given each week is Communion wine’”.

 

Partying with a 4×4

A group of ladies gathered in the garden at Chiltern Firehouse after a hard day’s shopping in Selfridges. As they discussed an impending party an absent ‘friend’ was due to host, one Pucci clad creature shared her thoughts. She commented: “It’s not a party. They’re telling porkie pies. They’re just having it to show off that new Range Rover they’ve just bought. I bet they’ll block the bloody drive with it”. Miaow!

 

An Iggy Hangover

“My worst hangover was when I drank three bottles of champagne” remarked a passenger on the 14 bus. “Why?” asked her friend. “Because I had to take three days off work and because I thought I was Iggy Pop for two of them”.

 

Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

 

The Steeple Times
The Steeple Times
We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

3,093FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
14,752FollowersFollow
4,962SubscribersSubscribe

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

AD
Advertisement

Trending Now

Crypto Crook’s Big Short – Will Sam Bankman-Fried Story Be Turned Into Blockbuster?

Crypto crook Sam Bankman-Fried astonishingly gets to hang out with the author of ‘The Big Short’ in spite of being on £207 million bail and now has not only Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyer onside but also Prince Andrew’s judge to face also.

Five Unlikely Things Famous Footballers Did Next…

David Lennox shares the little-known stories of what five famous footballers did next after retiring their pitch time prowess – amongst them everything from novel writing to forensic detective work.

Most Popular Articles

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’

A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

The Phil & Matt Show

Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph...

Plane Perverted

EXCLUSIVE – Previously unnamed 9-year-old child pictured on the lap of Jeffrey Epstein on his plane in ‘Daily Mail’ suggested to be daughter of billionaire Glenn Dubin.

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

Most Liked...

Ampika Pickston

Ampika Pickston
Oldham born divorcee and former glamour model Ampika Pickston describes herself as “feisty, fun loving and warm hearted”. Now based in Hale Barns, Cheshire...

Picture of the Week: The Wallies of Whalley

Picture of the Week: A field at Whalley Arches, Lancashire before and after flooding
Image of flooded Lancashire field complete with sign advertising it as a development site for 39 homes illustrates the perils of building on flood...

Was Mucky Minx Meghan Markle A ‘Yacht Girl’ For ‘Randy Andy’?

Was Meghan Markle A ‘Yacht Girl’ For ‘Randy Andy’?
As author Kirby Sommers suggests that the then Meghan Markle likely spent time with Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein before she met Prince Harry, we again highlight the mucky, murkiness and mendacious manner of this alleged “yacht girl.”

Organic Vegetable Maxwell – Rotten-To-Her-Core Ghislaine Maxwell Moves Jail

Organic Vegetable Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell Moves Jail
As mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is moved to a low security prison in Florida where prisoners will supposedly likely “hate” her, PR peddler Jay Beecher’s ‘The Maxwell Files’ website bizarrely starts promoting organic vegetables in Sussex and lists stories about this anything but wholesome criminal as “recipes.”

Hacked Off Piers! Piers Morgan’s Twitter Infiltrated

Hacked Off Piers Morgan Hugh Grant
As Piers Morgan gets hacked on Twitter, we remind readers of his ongoing spat with the especially ‘Hacked Off’ actor Hugh Grant.