Monday, August 22, 2022

Overheard: 3rd October

Classic clangers from the last week

 

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Bending the phone

In The Thomas Cubbitt in Belgravia an American was overheard to remark that she was “so excited about the new iPhone”. Her British friend responded: “It’s made by children in China, it bends like billyo’ and is the product of a company that pays not a jot of tax. Are you proud to be associated with such?” The American didn’t fluster and was overheard to answer: “I don’t give a damn, I’ll take twenty”.

 

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C**TS

“Muslims are C**TS” read a piece of graffiti in a lavatory in a motorway service station on the M4. Beneath it was the caption: “Non-Muslims are C**TS too”. Beneath that was another. It read: “You’re all C**TS”. What more could be said?

 

"The Stella flowed"
“The Stella flowed”

Ordering Stella

“What do you want to drink next?” asked an English banker in a pub in London’s EC4. His Belgian friend answered: “Beer, lots of beer” but was met with the response: “What kind?” The perplexed Belgian sternly replied: “Cheap beer. I don’t want to drink responsibly tonight”. The Stella flowed.

 

Running the road

A British business tycoon in The Berkeley Hotel in Knightsbridge was overheard commenting to his companion: “Money can’t buy you happiness”. His chum answered: “Really?” The billionaire responded: “If that really were the case, I wouldn’t be dreaming of running ******* over would I?” Watch those tyres.

 

Submit comments you overhear to [email protected]. We publish the best we receive once a week.

 

 

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