Monday, June 21, 2021

Overheard: 3rd March

Classic clangers from the last week

 

Firming the butt

On the smoking terrace at The Rib Room Bar, an Arabic lady told her friend: “Cycling: You’ve got to buy a bike… I’ve tired it all but running on the treadmill now… Running on the treadmill is the only way to get a firm butt”. A Jennifer Lopez in the making?

 

Jennifer Lopez: The queen of the butt
Jennifer Lopez: The queen of the butt

ABC sex

A man on the terrace at Sandy Lane in Barbados told his wife he was divorcing her for a younger woman. When she cried and said she loved him, he reminded her of the status of their sex life. “We’ve only been having ABC sex: anniversary, birthday, Christmas”, he calmly commented. She cried a little more.

 

Flatlining

“I bet that scummy block of flats is dear”, commented a Northerner standing outside a building in Lowndes Square, Knightsbridge to his bleach blonde wife. A passerby overheard him and responded: “Oh yes… And you get Roman Abramovich for a neighbour”. “No thanks”, answered the Northerner: “Oh him… Now, there’s a piece of bloody scum. I’d have to vomit on his doorstep every day”. Charming.

 

Booked

At the National Art Library at the V&A, a Peruvian woman asked: “I know you’re a library but do you have books?” What did she expect would be on offer? Porn films?

 

Lifted

An orange coloured Essex broad in the express lift at Harvey Nick’s: “She was well jel… She was well, well jel…” Her equally glowing friend: “Jel of what babe?” “You know, you know… My figure of course… She told me I looked like Katie Price”. Friend: “The cheek: You’re more of a Jodie Marsh”. Harsh.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:

     

    The Steeple Times
    We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.

    1 COMMENT

    1. Once overheard students in a Pub discuss genetics. The skinny fellow said to his friend “How do you determine the genetics of a blonde girl? His friend had a sly grin on his face and said “I merely pull down their jeans.

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    Advertisement
    Advertisement

    Become a Patron of The Steeple Times

    Independent journalism will only remain independent if it is supported by clear-thinking people like you. We each have the command to make a real difference. Join us.

    2,668FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    10,880FollowersFollow

    Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

    Please subscribe, like and share this very British site, it helps us grow. Your data is protected and The Steeple Times will send you an email at noon everyday that we rather trust you will enjoy.

    Advertisement

    Other Stories You May Enjoy

    Russell Brand Bear dog wallaby killer

    Branding Henley’s Wallaby Killer

    Russell Brand should be condemned not congratulated after his rabid dog killed a wallaby in the scene of weird animalistic happenings, Henley-on-Thames.
    Drax Avenue Wimbledon SW20 roofless ruin

    A £5m Roofless Ruin

    Fire damaged Wimbledon house with half its roof missing goes on sale for the staggering sum of £5 million; is this Britain’s most expensive roofless wreck?
    Chesham and Amersham goes yellow 2021

    The Return of the Yellow Card 2021

    Nikolay Kalinin analyses the reasons behind the Liberal Democrats’ success in the 2021 Chesham and Amersham by-election; is Boris Johnson about to suffer further at the hands of the ‘yellow peril’?
    Day 5 Royal Ascot 2021

    Runners & Riders – Day 5, Royal Ascot 2021

    Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 5 at Royal Ascot 2021 after landing 1st places at 22/1 and 19/4 yesterday.
    Ghislaine Maxwell Christopher Mason mate

    Missing Mate Ghislaine…

    As her chirping crooner chum Christopher Mason parties in prison-orange pants with her other mates, ‘Grubby Ghislaine’ Maxwell languishes in a paper jump suit; look at who and what she’s missing out on in the Hamptons… For her, it’s Krug-less via a bit of “Orange Is The New Black.”
    Royal Ascot 2021

    Runners & Riders – Day 4, Royal Ascot 2021

    Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 4 of Royal Ascot 2021 after landing a 22/1 winner yesterday and a 45/1 third place.
    The Gavinator Gavin Newsom vs Bosie The Clown Boris Johnson

    The Gavinator vs. The Clown

    Nikolay Kalinin contrasts ‘The Gavinator’ Gavin Newsom’s reopening of California with Boris Johnson’s still closed Britain and slams the latter for allowing the Indian variant to spread.
    Royal Ascot 2021 Day 3

    Runners & Riders – Day 3, Royal Ascot 2021

    Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 3 of Royal Ascot 2021 and offers some longshot choices at huge odds in 5 of the 7 races.
    Hollie Doyle Amtiyaz Royal Ascot 2021 winner

    Runners & Riders – Day 2, Royal Ascot 2021

    Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 2 of Royal Ascot 2021 after scoring a 33/1 winner yesterday.
    Royal Ascot 2021

    Runners & Riders – Day 1, Royal Ascot 2021

    Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 1 of Royal Ascot 2021 and offers selections in 5 of the 7 races.

    Popular Articles From The Past

    Weather

    London
    broken clouds
    12.6 ° C
    13.7 °
    11.2 °
    86 %
    1.8kmh
    75 %
    Tue
    16 °
    Wed
    20 °
    Thu
    23 °
    Fri
    22 °
    Sat
    16 °