Clangers overheard by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
The perils of pork
“Bacon has ruined my life”, stated a 30-something year old banker in KX in Chelsea. She continued: “It causes cancer” and then concluded: “Now, I only eat it once a month… Ham, sausage, pork… They’re pure evil… Toxic”. Her two companions remained silent and shuffled the kale in their raw rainbow salads with their forks.
The same woman moved on to her next topic and told her friends: “My guest room is so nice. It has a housekeeper”. She waspishly followed with: “Has yours?” Her companions continued to shuffle their kale and did not answer.
Managing month by month
On personal finances, the gift that kept on giving remarked: “I only have £3,000 in my account each month… I move it around but I’m lucky, I make sure I go out with a man with a Black Amex every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. You should try it”. One companion got a fork full of kale as far as her mouth. Her near success was short-lived as she then promptly returned it to her plate.
Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and we sometimes change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.
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