Thursday, December 2, 2021

Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’

As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?”

 

Last May, the acerbic Spectator columnist Taki wrote a brilliant opinion piece bemoaning the ghastly affair he believed New York’s Metropolitan Museum Gala had become. It perfectly summed up the vulgarity of an age where Kardashians have replaced Vanderbilt Sloanes and where Anna Wintour and her condescending ‘club’ have seized the mantle. This week, Primates of Park Avenue author Wednesday Martin took the debate one stage further and asked: “Is it time to say bye-bye to the black tie charity ball?” in an article for Town & Country magazine.

 

Whilst Martin quoted a “titan of finance” as saying: “No one really wants to attend a gala”, she also suggested that “showing up feels somehow retro, tangible, genuine”. Society is still forced into the routine of putting on black tie and parading out in both America and Britain yet in reality, everyone would most likely rather be down their local spit-and-sawdust.

 

Aside from the rubber chicken (and vomit inducing wine), the likelihood of being stuck with nine crushing bores and the inevitable raffle of rubbish, such affairs are now mostly the preserve of a club of Z-listers and desperados. At such gatherings, you’ll find trolleyed trailer trash like Dawn Ward of The Real Housewives of Cheshire clucking with titleless tosspot twits like David Furnish and each and every Friday’s ES Magazine bears testimony to this fact. The black tie bash deserves to come to its natural end, but what on earth will replace it?

 

Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
The inevitable rent-a-crowd that now dominates at black tie gatherings in Britain these days is focused on daytime TV presenters and obscure reality wannabes
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
Tamara Ecclestone and husband Jay Rutland (pictured with Donna Air behind them) might be moneyed, but where’s the class?
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
Stephen Fry and husband Elliott Spencer are a duo willing to turn up to the opening of an envelope
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
If you really want to lower the tone, invite champagne swiller Dawn Ward and her ex-footballer husband
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
Alexa Chung is the ultimate guest if you want to make it to the ‘ES Magazine’s’ party pages (in spite of the fact she’s actually pretty pointless)
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
No party is complete without legendary crasher and shopping aficionado David Pun; last night he was spotted lingering outside the entrance to the opening night of the 2017 London Motor Show and given his antics he even has a Twitter account named in his honour
Bored of Black Tie, Crushed by ‘The Club’ – Death of Black Tie Balls – As black tie bonanzas deservedly take a bashing, we ask: “What’s next for Britain and America’s party paraders?” – Sir Elton John and David Furnish, Elizabeth Hurley, Tamara Ecclestone, Jay Rutland, Dawn Ward, Ashley Ward, Elliott Spencer, Stephen Fry, Alexa Chung, Esther Rantzen, Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey
Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey used to host an annual ball in their garden; their marriage is now toast and the ball, for them at least, is most definitely over
The Steeple Times
We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
Advertisement

25 COMMENTS

  1. They used to say of Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey: “Here come Fuck I used to be famous and Fuck I want to be famous”

  2. I totally agree about these black tie affairs. Most of the money raised at them goes on costs and the charities end up with very little. You are better off writing a cheque to the cause instead.

  3. Liz Hurley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! phwoah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll have a bit of that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yum, yum, my tum, tum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phwoah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Alexa Chong looks rather lovely too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Send her to Oz if you don’t want her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. I must leap to the defence of black tie galas. The ones I have been involved in raised much needed funds for dolphins and whales and I cannot see why people wouldn’t want to support saving these beautiful creatures.

  6. Here we go again! All these people should be using their energies to support dear Gerry and Kate McCann in their efforts to find their beloved daughter Madeleine McCann. Madeleine is missing and until she is found all efforts must be put into the cause of finding her. FIND MADELEINE, FIND HER NOW.

    • Nice to see you out there looking Trott. Had it not got into your pea sized brain that Madeleine is dead? Most of the British public now believe your “dear” couple were responsible for some very dark deeds and the “Truth of the Lie” will emerge, as well as book being published in the UK.

    • This mob couldn’t give a monkey toss about poor Madeleine and what happened to her or any other of the children that go missing? And in my books they are just bunch of Jokers and no Hopers. We need to know who takes all the tens of thousands of British children every year that disappear never to be see again. Were are they now?.

  7. I also saw the Pun last night at a private view at Leica studio, there was strict guest list and a security guy at entry, really wonder how he got in.. he had the bag in the pic ! I guess he uses it to stuff in canapes from the parties!

    • Leave the Pun alone, he’s obviously a very lonely man who wants to be in with the in-crowd, please let him in! so he can die happy, poor man.

  8. I never thought I’d see ‘bored OF’ in the Steeple Times. This is the very ugly argot used by the people you’re denigrating! It’s ‘bored WITH’.
    Actually, the food at the Lincoln Centre is not rubber chicken, it’s excellent.
    And while I take your point about footballer’s wives, Housewives of This or That, the Lincoln Center effort does raise big cash for a worthy cause.

  9. This bunch of partying talent-less nobody’s are finished just like the rest of the UK . Like i said before no EU no UK. The Titanics nose dive you ain’t seen nothing yet.

  10. What’s that old slapper! Esther Rantzen going out of nick?! Wtf, she was Jimmy Savile’s right-hand man. I though the scrubber was doing 100 years in the slammer? Those poor children. And she’s still doing the rounds, what a country, wheres the justice for those poor children, it makes me sick.

  11. There’s some faces among this lot who i thought went down with the Titanic! Were did they dig this bunch of losers up from, the London Cemetery?

  12. Stephen Fry and his husband. Wtf is going on am i still on planet earth or did i have a massive great breakdown and don’t know about it? I don’t think i belong on this earth planet anymore! Hence the title name.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Advertisement

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

2,780FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
11,763FollowersFollow

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

AD
Advertisement

Recent and Popular

Clowning Around Boris Johnson Sir Keir Starmer

Bosie – Stop Clowning Around

Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson needs to stop clowning around and tell the truth about his strategy to fight COVID-19 and Omicron this winter.
Poisonous apple Ghislaine Maxwell

Ghislaine Maxwell – A Genuinely Poisonous Apple

References to Adam and Eve from Ghislaine Maxwell’s defence team ignore the fact she is a genuinely poisonous apple; references to Jeffrey Epstein being like James Bond are equally ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples.
Lowbrow Lindsay Lohan

Lowbrow Lindsay Lohan Reaches A New Low

When you thought lowbrow loser Lindsay Lohan couldn’t go any lower, the ‘celebutard’ predictably delivers.
Day of Destiny Scott Borgerson Ghislaine Maxwell Jeffrey Epstein Prince Andrew

Ghislaine Maxwell’s Day Of Destiny

As Ghislaine Maxwell faces her day of destiny at the ‘trial of the century,’ her brother ridiculously claims their pension robbing father’s “reputation was trashed beyond belief” and announces of his sister: “This time, let’s bring this ship home.”
Karl Lagerfeld Rolls-Royce

Rolling With Karl Lagerfeld

Three Rolls-Royces that belonged to the late designer Karl Lagerfeld to be auctioned by Sotheby’s; the eccentric never drove them himself.
Amanda Platell with paedophile Rolf Harris

Moron of the Moment – Amanda Platell

Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.
Haider Malik

Hero of the Hour – Haider Malik

Unemployed graduate Haider Malik’s decision to seek work by standing with a pop-up-stall outside Canary Wharf tube station paid off with a top job offer.
Stella Creasy Wally of the Week

Wally of the Week – Stella Creasy MP

Labour loudmouth Stella Creasy MP proves herself to be nothing but a petulant pain in the arse in moaning about not being able to breastfeed her brat in the House of Commons.

Over a Million Views

Omid Scobie Meghan Markle Duchess of Sussex Finding Freedom

Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.
Justice for James Scurlock – Power of social media proven after the senseless murder of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a bar owner Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.
Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry – With his marriage to the former Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore.

Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a fun loving sort. He boozed, partied and enjoyed playing pranks. Now, having married ‘Murky Mucky Mendacious Meg,’ it seems those days are over.   Supposedly, according to...
Omid Scobie Sadie Quinlan Yankee Wally

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’
A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell – Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.
Richard Madeley Diana Princess of Wales

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

Weather

London
scattered clouds
2.3 ° C
3.7 °
1.2 °
77 %
0.9kmh
38 %
Thu
4 °
Fri
7 °
Sat
7 °
Sun
7 °
Mon
4 °