Wednesday, November 16, 2022

The Dopey Dumbass DVLA

Matthew Steeples condemns the inept organisation that is the DVLA – its headquarters on strike for months and staff riddled with COVID

Five months ago, I realised that my driving licence – which actually expires in 2051 – comes with a card that turns out requires updating every ten years now needs to be replaced.


Obviously, to deal with this matter I attempted first to telephone the Driving and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) headquarters in Swansea, Wales. In spite of them having 6,000 employees, nobody answered and all I got was some bumbling message about coronavirus lockdowns and it being better to go online.



Next, I followed the suggested advice and went to this government agency’s website. I filled in the required information and was quite prepared to pay the £14 fee, but at the final stage I was met with “the computer says no” effectively.



Plainly due to a glitch in this hapless organisation’s system, I was unable to proceed and advised to wait for a ‘live chat’ advisor. I patiently sat and did just such – especially after a message appeared stating not to input anything else for risk of being chucked out – and then after what must have been an hour, it timed out.


I repeated this process on multiple occasions over the coming months, but then discovered that over 500 cases of COVID had been recorded at the DVLA headquarters between September 2020 and April 2021 and in addition found the following statement on their website:


“Ongoing industrial action will directly affect services. There will be delays in processing paper applications. Please do not phone to chase up your application during this time as we are dealing with all paper applications as quickly as possible and in the order in which they are received.”


“Our online services are available and are the quickest and easiest way to deal with us.”


Next, in utter frustration at being unable to deal with this matter and prevented therefore from access to being able to drive a motor vehicle, I went to my local Post Office in Knightsbridge. They advised that they could process the required information for a fee of £21 and that this would take two weeks. I handed over the wonga and did as instructed.


Two months have now passed and nothing has been received. Today, I join the Independent Motor Dealers Association – who have also “slammed the agency for ‘nightmare’ delays” – in condemning this inept and unfit for purpose operation. Frankly, it’s time to privatise this useless organisation or to curb the power of the unions that are simply making the lives of wannabe law abiding motorists hell.


Driving licence photocard
Renewing a driving licence card is currently nigh on an impossibility. It is time to set the founder of the ‘Complaining Cow’ – a website which teaches people to complain effectively – on this incompetent bunch of nincompoops. Why has our useless Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, done nothing to put a stop to their ongoing strike action?
A clearly workshy PCS representative for workers at this shocking organisation had the cheek and gaul to encourage the public to fund the striking civil servants. He ludicrously claimed that “we’re not being allowed to do our job safely” in a video shared on YouTube two months ago and added: “Please support us.”
In August 2020, Jeanette Miller discussed the ongoing delays in processing driving licence applications on the BBC’s ‘One Show.’ One guest explained that without a driving licence, she could not do her job in the healthcare sector whilst another added that with a lapsed licence, one cannot actually legally get on the road. Miller concluded: “DVLA, you need to step it up and put your foot down whilst you’re at it.”
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. I too for utter months cannot simply process an address change. If another woeful agency of the State prosecutes I shall cite your mentioned lot as partners to the crime. 48% of GDP in real terms snaffled year on year and you get this, some huge early pensions and a PSBR deficit of still squillions.

  2. Ah. I was going to suggest the Post Office – yes, I too discovered the ’10 year’ thing when my 91 year old father happened to mention it, but found my local PO in Wokingham, Berkshire an absolute delight. They took my photo, filled in the necessary form/s, took the required payment and in less than a week a shiny new card turned up. This was 3 months ago so it seems DVLA have fallen into a state of disrepair since. Finally, Matthew, and it seems importantly so, keep your PO receipt. My licence was ‘expiring’ in a matter of days but I was informed by my PO that the receipt of payment was acceptable proof that I did indeed have a driving licence should the Police, or any other authorititive body, wish to see proof. Best wishes.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.


Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.


Trending Now

Could Convicted Killer Luke Mitchell Actually Be Innocent?

As a 25,000 strong petition is set to be delivered to the Scottish Parliament, we join those asking: “Could convicted killer Luke Mitchell be innocent of the murder of his girlfriend Jodi Jones?”

‘Lady Whistledown’ Lays Into ‘Cheshire Cat’ Ferne McCann

As smugger-than-smug “grinning” Cheshire Cat Ferne McCann parades around as if she’s done nowt wrong, her nemesis ‘Lady Whistledown’ again quite rightly calls out this apologist for an acid thrower as the toxic toerag that this wicked wastel truly is.

From Tech Titan To Property Baron – “Billionaire you’ve never heard of” 32-Year-Old Stripe Co-Founder John Collison Splashes Out £15.8m On Irish Properties

Billionaire co-owner of payment processing tech giant Stripe, 32-year-old Irishman John Collison, adds to his 1,200-acre £10.1 million Irish estate and plans to spend another £5.3 million restoring a £350,000 adjoining derelict mansion.

From Loser To Lord – Should Shameless Shaun Bailey Be Elevated To House of Lords?

Though Tory twerp Shaun Bailey got away with partying with billionaire Nick Candy during the 2020 lockdowns, that this ludicrous loser and electoral disaster area might now get a seat in the House of Lords courtesy of his chum Boris Johnson is utterly outrageous.

Most Popular Artcles

Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a...

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’