Monday, March 4, 2024

Where’s Jack?


Readers who spot and photograph Charles Mitford Cust’s van will be sent a free signed copy of his novel ‘Union Jack’


Businessman Charles Mitford Cust used to drive a Ferrari. He’s now travelling the streets of London in a Volkswagen van promoting his first novel, a political satire titled Union Jack. Readers of The Steeple Times who spot and photograph the van will receive a copy of the novel free.


Spot and photograph this van and be sent a copy of 'Union Jack: Memoirs of Jack Nelson, a Very Unusual British Dictator' by Charles Mitford Cust
Spot and photograph this van and be sent a copy of ‘Union Jack: Memoirs of Jack Nelson, a Very Unusual British Dictator’ by Charles Mitford Cust


If you chance upon and manage to photograph the van, either tweet Charles at @CMCust or email him at [email protected] giving your name and address. He will then send you a signed copy of the book by post.


This offer remains open until 1st May 2015. Union Jack: Memoirs of Jack Nelson, a Very Unusual British Dictator is available to purchase on Amazon for £9.99 as a paperback.



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    1. I am shocked that you promote this book. It sounds like it is Xenophobic and that image of the “chick with the dick” on the back of the van is just offensive. I will not be buying this book.

      • Dear Red,
        If you are interested enough to comment about it; why not read it so that you can then make knowledgeable and constructive criticism?
        Best wishes,

      • Actually Red, Union Jack is not remotely xenophobic, quite the opposite. The hero is a totally apolitical character who embraces all that is best in other cultures and brings the finest minds from the global community to sort out Britain’s problems in highly imaginative ways. That he employs the Irish to run the education system, the Dutch to run the NHS, the Germans to build new hospitals and the Cubans to staff them are just a few examples. The ‘chick’ appearing from behind Nelsons Column as the side of the van is torn back to reveal what lies beneath British pomp is symbolic of British hypocrisy and sexual repression. Nelson married a prostitute you may recall. This book contains many inside angles on the political and social landscape of Britain and if you assume it to be xenophobic then you would be very surprised indeed if you read it. Never judge a book by it’s cover is an old adage that you might do well to remember.

        • What an admission of total defeat! So a country, which once boasting of an empire upon which the sun never set, has to import foreigners to manage its basic needs….
          And what, Mr Cust, are the indigenous race supposed to be of any use for?
          Why not invite the Chinese to come and run things: you clearly think us so depleted of the talent such a solution might appeal.
          And please don’t ask me to buy your book. I am sure it’s very good, but I’m a bit of an intellectual snob.

          • Not an admission of defeat at all, he simply wants to see Britain regain it’s prestige and the fastest way to do that is to bring in the best in the world in a particular field and let our people learn from them.The Dutch NHS scores first position in European healthcare and ours scores just above Romania. The Germans are the most efficient builders and we could learn a lot from them, nothing wrong with that. Nelson wants to restore the confidence this country has lost in itself. I was a manufacture in a high tech area for many years and saw this at first hand.

            A hero of Jack Nelson, the hero, is John Bloor who resurrected Triumph Motorcycles from being a defunct brand to one of the most successful brands in the world, he holds him up as an example of what can be achieved by a well motivated man with faith in his countrymen. Nelson points out that we have more significant patents than any other country in the world but do not have the confidence to back our highly talented people. Had we backed Frank Whittle in 1930 we would have had 9 years to develop a jet propelled airforce and the world would be very different and more stable place today. Had we backed Tommy Flowers the inventor of the first electronic computer, Britain would have been in pole position rather than IBM and so on.

            I have invented and manufactured many products in Britain and so all this comes from real life experience on the coal face not armchair opinion.I know there are critical inventions which are being lost by this country everyday as I write this and in the book I offer a solution through Government backed Inventor Centres. Believe me Union Jack, humorous though it may be is a serious wake up call on many fronts.

            By the way, intellectual arrogance in my considerable experience of encountering it, often but not exclusively in under achievers, is no guarantee of intelligence.

            • Mr Custard….I just get the feeling that you are a bit of a fantasist with your love of high powered rifles and knocking off foxes with night scopes.
              From reading your comments I can see that there would be no excuse for you to suffer from intellectual arrogance….

            • I don’t need to be a fantasist I have always done everything in my life for real. Please feel free to check out my CV on Linkdin but please include yours whilst you are doing it because from observing your comments over some time I get the feeling that you are a chippy little underachiever who likes to bully women in particular which is somewhat telling.Lets have a look at the lifetime achievements of the great Peter Wayde and see what has led him to have such a great opinion of himself and his intellect.

      • Mr Custard
        Three questions…
        1. Do you have a fan club one can join
        2. Did you miss out big game hunter in your CV
        3. How much of your LinkedIn CV is the product of a fevered imagination.
        a tout

        • The question still stands Waydy boy, what have done with your life that has led you to have such a high opinion of yourself? I suspect very little indeed, I think the reason why you have a massive chip on your shoulder and like to bully women is because you are a very sad little loser.

    2. What percentage of profits from this book will Mr Mitford donate to the Find Madeleine fund? I do hope he will be using this opportunity to help dear Gerry and Kate McCann in their efforts to find their beloved daughter Madeleine? I was very disappointed that the Cat Woman you featured yesterday prefers to give to cats than help find a missing child. I do hope Charles will show himself to be a better person. FIND MADELEINE.

      • Dear Gillian, I thought that your idea about donating a percentage of profits from my book Union Jack to the the McCanns was a wonderful idea, I was thinking of about 25 per cent. However first I thought I would re-acquaint myself with the whole matter as some time has passed so I watched some of the interviews featuring the McCanns and I hit a problem about the whole thing. You see in one of my previous careers I was trained in body language and out of the 6 major indicators of lying, in my personal opinion they independently scored 4 and 5 each and collectively all 6, so now I have serious doubts about them and have decided not to give them anything at all. It was a good thing for me I did check into it first though otherwise at 25 per cent of the book profits the McCanns would have been able to buy another house to add to the one they have already paid off.

    3. A hugely entertaining read with some clever policy ideas. If only Jack Nelson could move into No 10 Downing Street…..

      • Interesting observation, however I did not write the synopsis and it bears no comparison to the content. I had to go with the one which the marketing company came up with for logistic reasons but it could be improved I agree.Perhaps you would like to draft your own version and I will gladly pay you £100 if I adopt it? By the way you might care to note that it is one of very few books for sale on Amazon (which is after all the largest retailer of books in the world} which has a solid 5 star rating. Just thought I would point that out.

        • If you bore a sufficient number of people into write glowing reviews you end with a better than deserved rating-not that I woud suggest you did that Mr Custard.

    4. Congratulations to Charles MC! Wow! A must read ! Gosh I’ve known Charles about fifteen years and introduced him to his lovely Olga at my Christmas party 2013 at the flat ha! and taken him to 5 Hertford St etc. and he’s done me some wonderful favours and gave super dinners at Blakes hotel, Brinkleys etc. to me and friends. He is generous, a snappy dresser and a very intelligent chap conversationally.

      Once when I had a conflagration with my then-husband he drove me in 45 minutes in his Ferrari to Winchester to the safe haven of my family. What a brick he is! Everyone should have “a Charles MC” at hand.
      Exciting stuff Matthew. Well done for highlighting CMC he is a truly sterling chap ! x

    5. Whatsmore fascinating is that CMC’s grandfather who was a noted important General was awarded a real bear by some authority I forget which, for his great achievements and he and the bear lived happily in his house and garden on Queensgate SW7.

    6. What all this common affectation? Who on earth are the Penton Harrap’s for god’s sake?
      Nothing more irritating than this sort of pretension. Just call yourself Manthe Harrap….And your claim to heal cancer should land you in prison…you sound a very silly woman.

          • 1. I’m not going to fall into your, possibly, transparent trap of listing noteworthy things about my family then have you accuse me of being a whatever poseur, etc.
            2. “Aiding against” is what’s cited…not the same as curing…ranges from advising people not to smoke cigarettes to advising on comestibles that strengthen, equally, ones that weaken the immune system, for instance.
            Do be careful not to fall into your own trap of being sued for libel.
            Interestingly, doctors still take the Hippocratic Oath today “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”.

            • This is your listDetox
              Weight Loss
              Skin improvement
              General well being
              Blood type testing
              Breast size increase
              Immune system boosting
              Aiding cancer prevention and healing…and much more…

              what are your qualifications for these interventions? Just to make it clear…I described you as an idiotic poseur….why not sue, rather than just mouthing off? What on earth does ‘aiding cancer prevention and healing’ mean? I call you a liar and a quack if you suggest you are qualified to heal cancer. See you in court!

      • I suppose if I was originally called Mr Custard I might abbreviate it and peg on the Mitford to make myself feel grand!

    7. The Mitford Sisters were Charles’s Aunts who were famed for writing many acclaimed masterpieces. Clearly the genius writing talent is in the genes.

      • Clearly the writing gene does not manifest itself in you. Still, delighted you have decided to shorten your somewhat wordy name. Are we all supposed to adopt the name of a famous aunt without reason?
        Most odd…..

    8. Peter Wayde ALL your comments directed at Charles Mitford Cust and me are pathetic.

      I don’t intend to waste any more of my valuable time on you and suggest that you don’t waste yours on others.

      That assumes, of course, that your time has any value, which I very much doubt. I suspect your initials stand for Petite Willy.

      • Don’t you mean Petit?..It’s masculine. Don’t flaunt your ignorance. If you don’t undertand French use English. It saves you making an even greater idiot of yourself.


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