As Omid Scobie claims that drippy Prince Harry’s ‘Spare’ will reveal “the real truth” about him and his mendacious menace wife ‘MeGain,’ we say: Please spare us
“Unless I’m missing something, what really would be a revelation would be for Harry to admit that, all things considered, he’s led a rather cushy, privileged life and if one of the worst things that happened to him was that he was born only second in line to the throne, then he might have done better not to have taken a reported £20 million for a four-book deal – does anyone want to read Harry on leadership and wellness? – and to have sucked it up and not made such a fuss” remarked John Crace this morning in The Guardian in his ‘Digested Week’ column.
Quite right in his analysis, Crace hit the nail bang on the head, yet elsewhere yesterday the House of Sussex’s always predictably toady tin-banging twerp Omid Scobie decided to claim “the media’s got it all wrong about Prince Harry’s memoir.” Doing as he was no doubt told, as he always does when the mendacious menace formerly known as Meghan Markle no doubt put in a call, this PR peddler went further and declared to his extremely limited Yahoo! News UK audience: “Here’s the real truth.”
Whilst anyone with a quarter of a brain would admit that senseless Scobie wouldn’t know “truth” it gnawed him repeatedly in the arse, the Finding Freedom ‘author’ whined about the “angered reactions” to the forthcoming diatribe of drivel that is Spare and suggested the media were claiming “quelle surprise, ‘all Meghan’s doing.’”
Lauding the title of the tittle-tattling tome as a “punchy choice,” the unsophisticated former Heat gossip columnist and onetime mate of glamour ‘model’ Jodie Marsh continued his arse licking and declared:
“So far, only the smallest official details about the book’s 416 pages have been released by the publisher. They describe SPARE as a title written with ‘raw, unflinching honestly,’ a book that is filled with ‘insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom.’ I’d expect nothing less from prolific ghostwriter J. R. Moehringer, who is famous for encouraging his subjects to switch on the lights in the darkest parts of their story.”
Going further and bragging that he’s allegedly already seen the finished product, Scobie added:
“Among those who have already had sight of the book’s manuscript, Harry’s journey of being the spare, plus that difficult decision to change his destiny and start a new life elsewhere, serve as significant parts of the book. Filled with the prince’s trademark cheekiness, this memoir also tells a surprisingly relatable life story. Sure, its opulent royal backdrop is far beyond a world any of us will ever know, but themes explored in SPARE should resonate with readers from all backgrounds.”
“For all the tabloid reports about Harry supposedly ‘trashing’ his family (spoiler alert: he doesn’t), the book actually offers a more sympathetic look at the realities of their near-impossible existence. There were also no last-minute rewrites or edits after the Queen’s death. SPARE’s manuscript was completed almost five months before the monarch’s passing, a detail that will be acknowledged in a note at the start of the book.”
“Hundreds of journalists, including myself, have written versions and fragments of the duke’s story over the years. It’s a story that, as a working member of the Royal Family, he has long been unable to tell himself. Now, having created an independent life away from the confines of the royal institution, Harry finally has the chance to set often-inaccurately reported records straight. The freedom of speech. And no matter how you may feel about the man, it’s hard not to agree he should have the right to that.”
Elsewhere this week, speaking exclusively to The Steeple Times, the wicked wench formerly known as Meghan Markle’s somewhat more sensible sister, Samantha, declared of Spare: “’Spare’ us all the hypocritical pity party.” She is right and this book deserves only one thing; pulping.
Pictured top – Twitter users unsurprisingly loathe and detest the mouthpiece of the Duchess of Sussex and mocked his ‘Finding Freedom’ as ‘Finding French Fries’ recently.