Boris Johnson pictured plotting with Sir Michael Fallon on a bench in Kent

When Theresa May recklessly called a General Election, nobody could have predicted what would have unfolded next. Aside from the impact on her premiership of her personally mishandling three tragedies in London and one in Manchester, ‘Weak and Wobbly’ Mrs May is now under fire from her very own party.

Yesterday, as the vultures rightly circle for the incompetent vicar’s daughter’s head, Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson was photographed perched on a bench with Defence Secretary Sir Michael Fallon by the River Darent in Chipstead, Kent.

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Though a source for Sir Michael later dismissed talk of the pair meeting to conspire against Mrs May as “no great mystery, I think it’s called having a pint at their local”, an onlooker told the Daily Mail:

“It looked very deliberate, like they had planned to go out there on their own. They made a point to break away from the crowd and be on their own. Whatever they were talking about, they didn’t want anyone else to hear it… Boris then took Fallon by the shoulder inside looking at me shiftily”.

It’s plainly no longer a question of: “Will the ‘Worst Home Secretary’ in history turned ‘Worst Prime Minister in history’ go?” but one of “When and who’ll come next?” for the Conservatives. Plainly these devious conspirators have their own ideas but if their party has any sense, neither of them will be their chosen options.