Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Godfrey Bloom: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

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The Steeple Times asks the controversial former UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom TD: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

 

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“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

 

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Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2014?

I don’t know who Kerry Katona is but I suspect it is whatever Polly Toynbee and Nigel Farage deem it to be.

 

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

No longer being able to climb to the top of Scafell Pike.

 

What might you swap all your wealth for?

Lunch or dinner with Lucy Worsley.

 

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank”. What’s your view on the banking crisis?

Fractional reverse banking is fraud and theft. The problems have not even started yet.

 

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

“Can I get” which idiots use when they mean “may I have”.

 

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home”. What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

I support military and animal charities. My golden rule: Never donate to a charity where the CEO earns more than you do.

 

The judge in Law Abiding Citizen states: “I can pretty much do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

I’d blow up all braying businessmen using mobile phones on the train.

 

Godfrey Bloom
Godfrey Bloom

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

Pocklington Rugby Club.

 

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

Roast beef and Yorkshire pud. Where? On the run!

 

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

10.45am: stirrup cup in the hunting season.

 

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

A vodka martini with an olive. Chilled glasses and just show it the vermouth.

 

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Her Majesty’s: You could float a battleship on the giggle juice at Buck House.

 

Who is the most positive person you know?

A local farmer’s son who is always positive, but then again he is bonkers.

 

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

Cadbury’s Dairy Milk.

 

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

Ugh, tattoos! Don’t do them.

 

If you were a car, what marque would you be?

A Vanwall (Google it, folks).

 

Cilla Black presented Surprise, Surprise. Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

I have native American blood.

 

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

Chimney piece, please. Embossed important invitations to impress guests. Years out of date but no matter.

 

Godfrey Bloom TD was a UKIP Member of the European Parliament between May 2004 and September 2013. From then until July 2014, he sat as an independent after the party withdrew the whip from him. Born in Lewisham, Bloom worked in finance prior to entering politics.

 

 

 

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    The Steeple Times
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    3 COMMENTS

    1. Godfrey is Britain’s own Mel Brooks, funny and handsome, the above image of Godfrey sort of gives the impression he is sitting on a blazing saddle. i am a ardent fan of this man, he is comedy genius.

    2. I really do think sticking TD after your name is slightly pretentious. After all, they are given out merely for having been in the TA for 20 years….

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