Classic clangers from the last week
Ferraried
At The Colony Club in Mayfair: Indian 1: “I’ve got a Ferrari luggage set. It only cost £11,000”. Indian 2: Nice. “I’ve got a Ferrari luggage set too. It cost £49,000”. Ouch. Indian 3: “My phone number ends 599. I bought it to match my car”. Miaow.
Sharing the Krug
Overheard by reader James Pope. “Still got the shares babe?” states a walking Ralph Lauren advertisement to a fur-clad blonde in the bar of the May Fair Hotel. “I don’t understand shares”, she haughtily responded. “Sam, you’ve been complaining about money all night”, he answered. “Of course you understand shares. Even a cow understands shares”. “Shut up and get me more Krug” was the simple response. Someone almost certainly ended up spendingthe night in the doghouse.
Dropping the wonga
Overheard by reader Gillian Castle: American in The Clift Hotel, San Francisco: “I just think that it is obnoxious that there are three people sitting on a large sofa. No priority for me? I’m a multi-millionaire. Drop them and I’ll drop cash. Sorted?” It’s clear this is a man with class and distinction.
Far from diplomatic
A well-known nuisance outside her rat infested residence, The Diplomat Hotel: “I am not responsible for things I cannot remember having said or done”. Hitler would have given the same answer. She’s in court on Thursday.
Reserved
An executive of a concierge company at a dinner party in Mayfair: “We don’t just book things for you if you sign up. We charge £2,500 per month”. Quite. Anyone stupid enough to use this “service” gets one thing only: A hefty bill for absolutely zilch.
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