16.8 C
London
Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Overheard – 22nd October 2018

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

 

Mobile Arabs

An Arab sat outside a shisha café on Brompton Road told her friend: “I lost my phone in Harrods today but I went back and they’d found it. Thank God it was Harrods. They’d have been so racist anywhere else but Harrods, they love us. In this country, it’s whites first and us second but in Harrods, it’s the other way round.”

 

Lunching (Un)like Liz

At Granger in Chelsea, a Hill House mother chatted with another of her number. She stated: “I go to lunch at 4.30pm as I don’t do breakfast or dinner. You know why: I don’t want to end up looking like Liz Hurley, do I?”

 

Standard Death

A pair of Russian women lunched at Chiltern Firehouse. One announced: “I went to a really f***ing budget wedding recently… One thing that is so important is alcohol but these people served Russian Standard. Social death. It’s like doing something in Shoreditch.”

 

Priestly Observations

Two Brompton Oratory priests lunching at Colbert on Sloane Square chatted with a fellow diner about the locality. “It’s changed very much lately,” said one. The other added: “I preferred it when there were more ladies like Miss Marple.”

 

Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

 

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

 

3 COMMENTS

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Could Mark Alexander be Innocent?

With humanitarian Terry Waite questioning the safety of the conviction of Mark Alexander for murdering his conman father Samuel, is it time that this curious case was reviewed?

Distraction Dom

Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away.

A Box Office Balls-up

Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea council’s decision to approve replacement for Kensington Odeon with a 63% smaller cinema is deservedly condemned as a “box office balls-up.”

A Magnum Muckup

Unilever ludicrously forced to “urgently” recall Magnum ice cream because it contains MILK. Health and safety busybodies at their finest.

Hero of the Hour – Adrian Chiles

BBC presenter Adrian Chiles’s delight in the simple pleasures of a pint in a park during lockdown reflects how so many feel.

Moron of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

“Bitch of the first order” Larysa Switlyk takes to Instagram during the coronavirus lockdown to brag about her latest massacres; this moronic monster previously paid to shoot sheep in England.

Roy Clark’s Roller

‘I Never Picked Cotton’ singer Roy Clark’s Rolls-Royce heads to auction complete with suicide doors and emblazoned with his initials in gold leaf.

Lockdown Lunacy

Aleks Walker examines what famous folk have been doing at home during the coronavirus lockdown and identifies some quite bizarre examples.

Smiling Churchill and Scowling Edward

Rare photograph of Winston Churchill dining with Edward VIII to be sold as part of a sale on the eve of the 80th anniversary of him becoming Prime Minister. In a reversal of roles, it is the royal (nicknamed ‘Our Smiling Prince’) who is scowling whilst the future Prime Minister (nicknamed ‘Our Scowling PM’) smiles.

More Matters Marmalade – Part V

More Matters Marmalade – Part V – Guardian readers on marmalade – Letter penning ‘Guardian’ readers return to their favourite subject – marmalade. This time marmalade and tights.

Heroine of the Hour – Anne Diamond

Heroine of the Hour – Anne Diamond on Duchess of Sussex book – Anne Diamond is right to call out the Duchess of Sussex’s mint-making collaboration with Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand’s ‘Finding Freedom’ as annoying, daft and delusional.

Beauty’s in the Eye of the Bargain Basement Bugatti

Replica “homage to Jean Bugatti’s Type 57S Atlantic coupé” to be auctioned for a sum 99.9% lower than the most famous of the four originals is said to be worth. £124,000 to £165,000 for the 2016 ‘Assembled Vehicle’ 1939 Delahaye USA Pacific by Terry Cook.

A Faithfull Flat

Triplex apartment in Knightsbridge building once home to Marianne Faithfull for sale for the astounding sum of £25 million.

Dopey Derbyshire Dunces

Derbyshire Police yet again show themselves inept at the art of public relations in tweeting about trying to locate a man who...

Hero of the Hour – Liam Gallagher

Rocker Liam Gallagher speaks the most sense on how to survive the coronavirus lockdown in thanking alcohol Rock stars aren’t meant...

Moron of the Moment – Olivia Utley

Rent-a-gob stand-in for Rod Liddle at ‘The Sun’ Olivia Utley shows herself to be nothing but a big-mouthed berk in brainlessly banging...

Weather Now

London
broken clouds
16.8 ° C
20 °
13.3 °
55 %
3.1kmh
72 %
Tue
24 °
Wed
21 °
Thu
20 °
Fri
20 °
Sat
13 °