Monday, April 19, 2021

No. 550 - Overheard – 15th March 2020

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

Laughable Drinks

“I’ll have a Seedlip [a disgusting tasting, overpriced non-alcoholic spirit that tastes of tree bark] and tonic” announced a millennial at a bar in Chelsea. Their friend then curiously added: “I’ll have a non-sparking water, please.” A well-known local barfly chipped in: “You two sound like a barrel of laughs.”

 

Diseased Beer

At the same bar on another occasion, a young man asked for a Peroni. On being told they didn’t stock it, said individual responded: “What f**king kind of bar is this?” The Portuguese barman answered: “We are in Brexit Britain, sir, and Italy’s riddled with coronavirus.”

 

Farming Out Coronavirus

In a letter to The Times yesterday, one Helen Nakielny of Talley, Carmarthenshire observed: “Sir, I note that a cabinet minister is self-isolating. In Wales we call this practice ‘farming.’” Send for the sheep.

 

No Discount Mayfair

A reader spotted Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie in a Mayfair restaurant, Isabel. They emailed and stated: “Daddy will be disappointed given there are most certainly no Pizza Express (Woking branch) discounts there.” Ouch.

 

Windermere’s Drawing

“I was in my drawing room, my drawing room, did you get that? My drawing room” stated a genteel South Kensington matriarch to her younger companion at lunch. “It is a shame that people do not get the important bit. It’s a drawing room and most certainly not a sitting room.” Lady Windermere would have been extremely proud.

 

Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

 

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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Twitter: @SteepleTimes

 

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The Steeple Times
We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Haha. Some good ones. I especially enjoyed the Peroni one. And yes Seedlip is a disgusting non alcoholic drink for wimps.

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