Friday, January 22, 2021

Overheard – 27th September

Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

 

In a departure from our normal mix, all of this week’s clangers come from a duo overheard at a bar. Both are Chelsea toffs – or consider themselves such – and both were a little beyond over refreshed.

 

On state schools:

The blonde: “State schools only teach World War Two”.

 

The baldy: “I’m not surprised. They’re all so left wing, the teachers”.

 

The blonde: “No. It’s because it’s easier. They only want to teach the popular and the easy”.

 

The baldy: “And the anti-fascist. And the pro-communist. Close ‘em all down”.

 

On the Catholic Church:

The baldy: “The Catholic Church are like the Brexiteers. They just wanted to take back control.

 

The blonde: “No. They just want to protect the paedophiles”.

 

On fancy dress:

The blonde: “Fancy dress parties are only for people without the ability to make no conversation”.

 

The baldy: “Oh. Really? I went to one last week”.

 

On the Mail Online:

The blonde: “I do read the Mail Online every morning. I’ll admit it. People think I’m posh but in my heart I know I want to live like a chav”.

 

On Scottish devolution:

The baldy: “In Scotland you’ve got two lezzers. I’d say it’s time for a male revolution”.

 

On war:

The baldy: “You never know who’s sitting where when there is a war. For f**k’s sake. War is war. Bring on the next one”.

 

On joining a bishop:

The baldy: “I joined the Bishop of Exeter once”.

 

The blonde: “What? Like joining the Masons?”

 

The baldy: “No like joining him for dinner”.

 

On David Cameron:

The baldy: “David Cameron should be locked up for crimes against the Conservative Party. People want Tony Blair locked up. I want that pr**k locked up in the cell next door”.

 

On Jeremy Corbyn:

The blonde: “Now, Corbyn… He’s Hitler reincarnated. Just accept it”.

 

 

Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.

 

 

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