Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’
Get me a Krug!
At The Botanist on Sloane Square in London, a visiting Yorkshire lass told her assembled crew: “They do sell a prosecco but I told the bartender: ‘I don’t want any of that s**t. Get me a Krug!’” This Dawn Ward in the making was left disappointed: Their best champagne was Dom Perignon.
Braying in the basement
At La Brasserie in Chelsea, a pseudo-Sloane estate agent – clad in the kind of suit that make such men stand out from space – brayed about how much he’d made in 2016. To make sure those around him knew his place in society, he announced: “A friend of mine spent £400,000 on a sub-basement. It’s got a gym and pool and he reckons it’ll pay him back in four years. That’s what he spends in KX currently, so he’s got himself a bloody bargain”.
A heroin bartender
Two ladies chatted at a bar in SW3. One remarked: “I love the bartender. He’s like heroin”. She casually added: “I would inject him if I could”. Amy Winehouse could have found a lyric about that.
At Langan’s Brasserie in Mayfair, an office gathered for their Christmas party. One of the group asked: “If nuclear bombs were to hit London, how many would it take?” A blonde with an Essex accent answered: “If one hit the city, Mayfair would be OK. That’s what I heard”. Reassuring.
Less is more
In a restaurant in Manhattan, a lady told her male dining companion her plans for 2017. She announced: “This year I’m going to be really intentional about doing less. I was just so involved last year”. Less, for her, truly is more.
Submit comments you hear to [email protected]. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive and sometimes we change names and locations to protect the identities of the vain and the vacuous.