Classic clangers from the last week
Estate agent 1 in Zafferano restaurant was overheard to say: “Let’s have some fun with this… Let’s wreck them. I’m going to play with this. Let’s go in at £19 million. No, let’s go in at £20 million so they take us seriously”. Estate agent 2: “You’ve wasted enough time. Let’s go in at £25 million”. Estate agent 1: “Come on. I’ve had to spend £15 on a phone charger this morning. It’s outrageous to overpay”. Someone should lend him a tenner.
An Arab in the bar of the Baglioni Hotel was heard loudly telling his uncle: “Yeah… I’ve only got £4.5 million of watches. I need £9 million. It’s just not enough”. An Englishman at the next table muttered under his breath: “Bragging like that’ll have you mugged”. Watch out.
At The Dorchester an American model was heard chatting into her mobile: “Weed, weed, weed. The fucked up skater boy I did the shoot with just cared about weed. He was not a proper model and all I want is a break and some coke. I want to get out of that world but I won’t. I don’t dare do drugs in Russia though. They get you. The pigs get you”. After hanging up she called another friend and continued: “Arabs move here because they want to do drugs. London is the place to do drugs but I’m trying to get into that French Jewish mafia set. I’ve done my posh side to death since you can’t fucking have a puff in this area. So many fucking cops. It’s sick”. Next stop rehab?
The cringeworthy model
A Russian model and her agent sat in the Belgraves hotel discussing a forthcoming shoot. The agent enthusiastically told her protégé: “I’ve got great news. I’ve secured The Ritz”. The model cringed and responded: “I don’t want to do a shoot in The Ritz. Too old school. Too bland. Get the Bulgari. It’s so cool. I want bling not cringe”. Classy.
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