Thursday, March 28, 2024

Overheard: 18th December

Classic clangers from the last week

 

Firing the lock

A student in Olympia was overheard making a late night call to the fire service. He bellowed: “My girlfriend’s snapped her key in the lock. The oven’s on. Come quickly. You don’t want the place burning down”. He put the phone down and remarked: “That’ll speed them up and then we can be out of here’.

 

Time for a beer

Within minutes a fire engine was heard to approach. The student looked sheepish and said: “God, that was quick. We better vamoosh. They’ll be furious when they discover there is no oven on”. His friend hailed a cab and said: “Bloody good job. It’s time we were at The Churchill Arms for last orders”. They headed on their merry way leaving an embarrassed young lady to deal with the hosers.

 

walnut
Contrary to the opinions of the old chap on the bus this burr walnut desk by John Barrow for Gillows of Lancaster does not come cheap at £95,000 (through Mallett)

 

Seeing walnut

A pair of elderly men on the number 9 bus in Kensington were overheard reminicising. The first, a grandfather, from Cheltenham asked the second, a single, gay antiques collector from Bath about his latest purchases. The collector stated: “I was told walnut is out at the moment so I’m buying it whilst it’s cheap”. “Oh, that’s good”, responded his chum. “The other day I went to a dinner in one of these members’ clubs – stuffy places, I’ll have you know. There was an elderly chap sat next to me. He said: ‘Come back to see my walnut’. He had a flat in Collingham Gardens. Beautiful walnut. Beautiful. He then tried you know what. I said I had to be home to my aunt and I went on my way”. His astonished friend exclaimed: “The perils of walnut”.

 

The benefits of flats

The first of bus duo continued: “I don’t like terraced houses. Do you?” His friend answered: “I prefer flats. High ceilings and best of all, lots of opportunities to listen into the nocturnal activities of the neighbours as most have paper thin walls. Saucy.

 

 

Submit comments you overhear to [email protected]. We publish the best we receive once a week.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:

     

    The Steeple Times
    The Steeple Times
    We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.

    3 COMMENTS

    1. Esra Siebra always said, that the height of disappointment to him will be, ringing the doorbell at a knock shop and his mother opening the door. I can’t blame him, she was a ugly old despicable drama queen.

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    £1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

    Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

    3,573FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    16,731FollowersFollow
    4,962SubscribersSubscribe

    Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

    Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

    AD
    Advertisement

    Trending Now

    Getting One’s Goat – A Cheesy Conundrum – Goat vs Goats vs Goat’s vs Goats’ Cheese

    Matthew Steeples explores conundrum of how to describe cheese made from goat’s milk and shares thoughts of Susie Dent to Alan Rusbridger, Christine Hamilton, Jay Rayner, Matthew Jukes, Mic Wright, Nigella Lawson, Matthew Wright, Tom Parker Bowles and Samantha Markle on goat cheese.

    Most Popular Articles

    The Phil & Matt Show

    Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph...

    Was Mucky Minx Meghan Markle A ‘Yacht Girl’ For ‘Randy Andy’?

    As author Kirby Sommers suggests that the then Meghan Markle likely spent time with Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein before she met Prince Harry, we again highlight the mucky, murkiness and mendacious manner of this alleged “yacht girl.”

    SchofieldLite

    ‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a supposed relationship...

    Meddling Meghan Markle Expose – Attwood, Hopkins & Steeples

    Expose interview with Matthew Steeples by Shaun Attwood and Jennifer Hopkins about the former Meghan Markle watched over 73,000 times in 16 hours since it aired; Steeples condemns hapless Prince Harry and his meddling menace wife.

    Ampika Pickston

    Oldham born divorcee and former glamour model Ampika Pickston describes herself as “feisty, fun loving and warm hearted”. Now based in Hale Barns, Cheshire...

    Justice for James Scurlock

    Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

    Nasty NestSeekers

    Entitled Hamptons brat Jonathan Davis exposed for allegedly squatting in Sag Harbor during the coronavirus lockdown; it turns out he’s a realtor with NestSeekers.
    [td_block_6 custom_title="Most Liked..." sort="popular7"]