Friday, October 30, 2020

Overheard: 1st December

Clangers overheard by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ in the last week

 

What is Harrods?

On a 14 bus in Knightsbridge, an American couple chatted as they passed the emporium that is Harrods. “That’s quaint”, said one, before adding: “What is it?” Her companion answered: “It’s like what you’d get if you crossed Macy’s and Ikea”. The Al-Thani family would no doubt be delighted by this description.

 

Overheard - 1st December 2015 - "What is Harrods?" - A question that is not heard often in Knightsbridge (or anywhere else for that matter)
Overheard – 1st December 2015 – “What is Harrods?” – A question that is not heard often in Knightsbridge (or anywhere else for that matter)

 

The I.D. of Knightsbridge

At The Bunch of Grapes in Knightsbridge, reader James Johnson overheard two men in conversation over a pint. One stated: “My ex-bird: She had a fake I.D. She won’t f**king stop tweeting about it. I am really worried”. The other answered: “I wouldn’t be bothered. She’s filth. I’ve known it for years. When she gets to court, I’ll tell the jury just that. She’s going down, mark my words”. A venue that plainly attracts a fine class of customer.

 

999

Shared by Harry Harrison on Facebook: “Cycling through Clapham, right behind a guy who is hit by a car. Not nice of course. People tending to the guy, when exceptionally camp English guy announces he is going to call the police. He then questions the group [and asks]: ‘Does anyone know the number for the police?’ Even the guy who had been run over looked at him dumbfounded”.

 

Submit comments you hear to editorial@thesteepletimes.com. We publish amusing and ridiculous chatter we receive each week and change some names and locations to protect the identities of the foolish.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:[wysija_form id=”1″]

 

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke

Dirty Dawn strikes again – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.

Bog Off Bungling Boris

Matthew Steeples suggests now is time for bungling Boris Johnson to quit; he is not in control and he has no coordinated plan for Brexit or coronavirus.

A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke...

Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music

Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse for ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York and the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell – just as her feudal family crawl out of the woodwork and a silver-haired, Savile Row suited socialist PR man tries to get her out of the clink.

Schofe Banned

As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host ‘Schofe’ have another meltdown as...

Starve a Kid to Save a Quid

‘Starve a Kid to Save a Quid’ goes viral in the wake of the government’s disastrous attempt to starve poor school kids whilst Tory MPs deservedly get banned from shops and restaurants.

Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed

Matthew Steeples selects some of the most telling and cringeworthy remarks from the newly unsealed 2016 Ghislaine Maxwell deposition.

Feeding Brueckner

As Scotland Yard suggest Christian Brueckner will likely never be charged over the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, Matthew Steeples argues that the British government finally put a stop to funding this pointless search and instead feed hungry children.

Outing Randy Andy

Will ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York erupt in anger with the outing of the depositions of Ghislaine Maxwell this morning? Could this be the non-sweater’s last stand?

Wally of the Week – Phillip Schofield

Tempestuous television presenter Phillip Schofield bizarrely claims to have been murdered in a past life because of a debt.

Filthy Natalie

Wife of ‘Naughty Tory’ turned replacement MP Natalie Elphicke turns to talking about filthy water (but avoids the topic of her jailbird hubby’s bottom groping).

Get Menendez Out of The Hole

As Erik Menendez is undeservedly thrown in ‘the hole’ in the most ludicrous fashion in California, Matthew Steeples suggests it is time both him and his equally abused brother Lyle were finally released.

Going Bonkers For A Bin

Auctioneers Christie’s sought to sell five waste bins for £230; they ultimately went for the astounding sum of just under £34,000.

Junk the Junk Mail

Instead of banning people from enjoying themselves, the government should should do something useful and ban a genuine disease spreader: Junk mail.

Picture of the Week – A Red Squirrel Riot

Images of a red squirrel fighting a pheasant for hazelnuts and bird seed are proof that both creatures can be quite feisty.

A Pyrotechnic Pad

Mansion in controversial compound in The Boltons, SW10 for sale for £50 million; the setting has seen court cases and pyrotechnic parties involving a self-declared “Relentless” multi-millionaire.

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
14.8 ° C
15 °
14.4 °
87 %
3.1kmh
90 %
Fri
15 °
Sat
15 °
Sun
15 °
Mon
18 °
Tue
11 °