Thursday, January 20, 2022

James Dove: What's on your mantelpiece?

The Steeple Times asks barrister James Dove: “What’s on your mantelpiece?”

 

The Steeple Times shares “wit and wisdom.” What’s your guiding force?

The Bar Code of Conduct.  Only kidding. Don’t tell the Bar Standards Board.

 

“Don’t get even, get medieval” is, in our humble opinion, a great motto. What’s yours?

“Live by the sword, die by the sword.”

 

Kerry Katona was considered unacceptable in 2007. Who or what is unacceptable in 2012?

Eric Pickles.

 

Tony Blair misses being Prime Minister. What do you miss most in your life?

Boris Yeltsin, my cat.

 

What might you swap all your wealth for?

I don’t have any wealth.

 

Donald Trump was once a case of: “If you owe the bank a thousand, they close you down; but if you owe the bank a billion, you own the bank.” What’s your view on the banking crisis?

Shoot them all.

 

What phrase or word do you most loathe?

“Obviously.” If it is obvious, you don’t need to say so.

 

In the UK, some people consider charity to “begin at home.” What’s your view and what causes do you personally support?

Any charity that doesn’t hire chuggers is worthy of my support.

 

The judge in “Law Abiding Citizen” states: “I can pretty do whatever I want” before being blown up whilst answering her mobile phone. What’s your view on the appropriate use of such devices?

Be discreet.

 

If you could fill a carriage on The Orient Express, who would be your fellow passengers?

Kant, Fichte, Hagel and Nietzsche.  I am just trying to show off.

 

James Dove pictured with Cherie Blair

If you were unfortunate enough to end up on death row, what would be your last meal and where would you eat it?

A Lebanese in Beirut and I hope I might escape.

 

What time is it acceptable to consume the first drink of the day?

Six o’clock. I am not going to be drawn on morning or afternoon.

 

A Negroni, a martini or a cup of tea?

A martini but any more than three and you might lose your trousers. I am not speaking from personal experience.

 

Whose parties do you enjoy the most and why?

Any that are held in a car park.

 

Who is the most positive person you know?

My senior clerk: he always thinks there is a cheque in the post despite evidence to the contrary.

 

What’s your most guilty pleasure?

Chocolate Philadelphia.  At least I am sure it will be when I try it…

 

If a tattoo were to sum you up, what would it be of?

A toreador.  I like to wind people up.

 

What was the first bone that you broke?

My left elbow. I fell off a skateboard. I haven’t been on one since.

 

Cilla Black presented “Surprise, Surprise.” Tell us the most surprising thing about you.

I met Nelson Mandela in East London once.  That is in South Africa – “obviously” (see above).

 

What’s currently sitting on your mantelpiece?

A gas bill.

 

 

 

The Steeple Times
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