Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Her Heart for an Epstein

As she parades for profit with her dodgy debut novel ‘My Heart for a Compass,’ why isn’t Sarah, Duchess of York getting asked about whether she ever repaid the loan she took from the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein?

Not content with making a total berk of herself by bizarrely banging on about flatulence in February 2021 and blaming the late Diana, Princess of Wales for giving her verrucas previously, Sarah, Duchess of York has yet again gone and done it again.


Currently on a publicity parade to promote her debut novel Her Heart for a Compass – which she co-wrote with “a veteran Mills & Boon writer” – Sarah Ferguson has been slammed on social media this morning for “gushing” that her non-sweating, Pizza Express loving ex-husband Prince Andrew is a “great person.”


Derided as “disgusting” and “tawdry” for returning to her profiteering ways, ‘Farting Fergie’ claimed in an exclusive interview with The Sun that writing “the novel gave her a chance to delve into her past and address her younger, troubled self.” In features elsewhere, the book was branded “boring,” a “slog” and “insipided.”


This self-declared “luckiest girl in the world” and a woman best known for having her toes sucked by an American lover, declined to be interviewed by the Guardian – most likely due to the fact that they are one of the few mainstream media titles to diligently delve into the saga of her mates Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.


Having already penned 77 other books – most of which were unsurprisingly panned – it’d surely be better if Sarah, Duchess of York wrote next about something people would want to learn about her. She could begin, in true Mrs Merton fashion, by answering the question: “What was it that first attracted you to the multi-millionaire paedophile Epstein?” and then continue by answering as to whether she ever repaid the money she took from this dodgy deviant.


Reviews of ‘My Heart for a Compass’

“Underwhelming… I was bored by Fergie’s book.”

Hannah Betts for The Telegraph.


“A rather sexless affair… More slog than seduction.”

Sarah Ditum for The Times.


“Tosh… The language is a kind of parody.”

Melanie McDonagh for the Evening Standard.


“Bridgerton this is not.”

Alison Flood for the Guardian.


“[A] blizzard of clichés… I spent much of the book absolutely melting with terror, gripped by a fear that any minute now, Fergie was going to dive right in and write a panting sex scene, complete with peeling britches, horsey noises and God knows what… It never ends. Faced with the horror of an empty page, Sarah the author becomes a human geyser of gush, an unstoppable tornado of words.”

Jan Moir for the Daily Mail.


Sarah, Duchess of York Ghislaine Maxwell fart book
Whatever she does and wherever she goes, childlike Sarah, Duchess of York gets herself into hot water. Whether be it posing for pictures with the incarcerated alleged trafficker of young women Ghislaine Maxwell or making Instagram shows about books on farting, this tawdry twerp just cannot help herself. ‘Fergie’ would do best to learn one thing: The art of silence (but of course that’s about as likely as happening as witnessing Katie Hopkins praising immigrants).
In an interview with ‘The Telegraph’ about ‘My Heart for a Compass’ the renegade ex-royal referenced how the heroine of her novel ends up in New York. She did not comment on what her ex-husband got upto there whilst staying with Jeffrey Epstein after the latter got out of prison.
In May 2018, Sarah Ferguson showed her true colours when she stormed out of an interview with ’60 Minutes Australia’ whilst being asked questions she didn’t like. We again remind readers that this wacky woman has never given a decisive answer as to whether she repaid a loan she took from the late paedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. The c£15,000 that she took off Epstein via The Admiral is doubtless just a tiny sample. I would look also at the likes of servicing and making payments (and not) on a grossly indulgent multi-million pound ski Chalet and connections enabling a dreadful modern new build they owned (on land The Queen had furnished) that rightly would not sell, being offed at probably four times what it was worth: I wonder if the gift tax were payed on any of all of this.


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