Friday, December 9, 2022
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OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

A Megayacht Bargain

What will be the world’s 28th largest ‘megayacht’ to be offered for sale for the surprisingly low bargain basement sum of ‘just’ £18.3 million and at no reserve; why doesn’t Boris Johnson buy it for Britain?

Could This Be Chelsea’s Cheapest Flat?

Two-bedroom flat in Chelsea, SW3 goes on sale for just £10,995 in spite of having a rental potential of £14,000 per year.

The 62,000 Square Foot McMansion

Chinese billionaire gets planning permission to expand a £210 million Knightsbridge house to create a ludicrously large single family 62,000 square foot ‘McMansion’

Guilty Gulbenkian

Toothy tea leaf Angela Gulbenkian admits stealing £1.1 million and pleads guilty as fellow art crook Inigo Philbrick remains in the clink also.

Classic Car Heaven 2021

Theodora Ong reports from the 2021 London Classic Car Show and suggests other automotive events for classic car enthusiasts in the coming months.

Live Like A King For £40k

Kings Road, Chelsea, SW3 flat goes on sale for just £40,000 in an area where a house has been offered for £200 million.

A £5m Roofless Ruin

Fire damaged Wimbledon house with half its roof missing goes on sale for the staggering sum of £5 million; is this Britain’s most expensive roofless wreck?

A £250,000 Tardis

Tardis-like Grade II listed lodge house currently for sale could be Britain’s smallest detached house; it measures 10-foot by 8-foot and today also we feature some other examples of the nation’s smallest character packed homes.

A Boat For Brenda

As decidedly dippy Dame Esther Rantzen calls for tyrannical twerp Sir Philip Green to hand over his behemoth boat to the Queen, we suggest Sir James Dyson or Sir Charles Dunstone’s gin palaces as other options that could be commandeered.

Fagin’s Bentley

1961 Bentley S2 Continental drophead coupé owned by Golden Globe award winning actor Ron Moody – best known as ‘Fagin’ in ‘Oliver!’ – for sale for 329% more than it sold for in 2014 after restoration.

Earn From The Lord

Former church hall on the Isle of Lewis to be sold for just £34,000 in spite of the fact that it could earn the buyer £300 per night Lionel (Gaelic: ‘Lìonal’) forms part of the...

A Cottage For A Quid

Crumbling stone-built seaside cottage in Welsh foodie destination and royal town of Caernarfon goes on sale for just £1.

Cash Consuming Carbisdale Castle

Vast Scots Baronial mansion Carbisdale Castle – nicknamed ‘The Castle of Spite’ – goes on sale for sum 97% lower than it cost to build in the 1900s and 25% less than the sum spent on its 2010 renovation.

Bargaining Britain’s Northernmost Castle

Grade A listed freehold Scottish castle with cottages, barony title, gold and copper reserves and 240 acres of land goes to auction for just £130,000 just as plans for a space centre are announced in the vicinity.

Epstein Gets The Wrecking Ball

Wrecking ball sent in to destroy Prince Andrew’s paedo bestie Jeffrey Epstein’s £13.2 million Palm Beach mucky mansion.

Flattening a Fountain

Boxy “Town Hall classical style” dictator crib ‘The Fountains’ on infamous The Bishops Avenue, N2 for sale for £3 million less than it listed for in 2012; this time it is destined for flattening.

A BIG Bugatti

Theodora Ong lusts after a £1.55 million 2013 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport that currently sports the registration plate ‘BIG 3’ – but could become ‘BUG 8’

The Spectre Shooting Brake

2015 Rolls-Royce Wraith converted to a ‘Spectre’ shooting brake by automotive genius Niels van Roij for sale for 157% more than it originally cost.

Wallies of the Week – Martin and Lesley Kipling

Aston Martin driving company director named Mr Kipling appeals to Prince Charles for “clemency” for UPVC conservatory added without planning permission to his Grade II listed home that John Profumo fled to in 1963; he doesn’t want to return to “lap tray suppers.”

Gone with the Wind (on a Bargain Basement Budget)

‘Antebellum style’ residence in Tennessee that looks like a ‘bargain basement budget’ ‘Gone with the Wind’ house for sale for just £128,000.

Murky Maxwell’s Property & PR Projects

As her brother takes to the airwaves to PR her on Radio 4, Ghislaine Maxwell’s sale of her “showgirl-hooker-esque” London townhouse for an astonishing sum 44% lower than it was marketed at is branded a “shenanigan.”

An English McMansion Monstrosity

Gargantuan Cheshire ‘McMansion’ once owned by a BBC Sports Personality turned tax fraudster for sale; it’s a monstrosity and beyond gaudy.

A Cut Cost Chapel

Detached partly converted Victorian chapel in quaint Hampshire village goes to auction for 25% less than it sold for in 2018; it seems like a bargain, but there is, of course, a “but”…

Lock Him Up 2021!

Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”

A Christmas Nightmare

“Mini castle” in Pennsylvania goes on sale in time for Christmas for 512% more than it sold for in 2000 in spite of its decoration being nightmare nasty.

Elvis & Epstein’s ‘Dictator Car’

1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction.

A Cottage or a Car Space?

Detached Georgian cottage in Wales goes on for sale for a sum 64% lower than a single parking space in a basement in Knightsbridge.

The World’s Worst McMansion – It’s So Bad, It’s Good

New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good.

Steeply Priced Roof Space Slashed

Steeply-pitched, unused mansard roof space in Hampshire House, 150 Central Park South, New York heads to a slashed no reserve auction after failing to sell for £30.3 million.

Windowless in South Ken

Windowless property in Stanhope Gardens, South Kensington, SW7 goes to auction with a guide price of just £20,000; there is, of course, a catch.

Only Fools and Golf Cabriolets

1987 Volkswagen Golf GTI Karmann cabriolet – nicknamed ‘Rodney’ – previously owned by ‘Only Fools and Horses’ actor Sir David Jason to be auctioned. Sadly, of it, even Del Boy couldn’t claim: “Just one lady owner from new.”

Thinking 2022

Event promoter The Mansion London bizarrely gives up on the coming New Year and begins promoting an event to welcome in 2022 instead.