As Matthew Steeples appears in a second episode of ‘Schofield: Is There More To This Story?’, we ask: “Who’ll replace weird warbling wazzock Phillip Schofield on ITV1’s ‘This Morning’?”
Last night, on Shaun Attwood’s by the day sky rocketing in viewer numbers YouTube channel, Matthew Steeples returned to chat about the latest developments in the sordid saga of why the “silver soufflé” that is Phillip Schofield has gone from telly-box-treasure to tarnished-turfed-out-trash.
In a week when a February 2020 article from The Steeple Times – titled simply “The Phil & Matt Show” – went viral on our pages and became by far our most read article ever of our thousands of pages of published content since we began in May 2012, it seems that interest in Schofield and his sidekick turned nemesis Holly Willoughby has overtaken that of interest in ‘Wallmart Wallis’ (AKA the former Meghan Markle).
Now, as speculation runs rife about what will come next in this matter, we today highlight who might become the next permanent host (or hosts) on This Morning and also again suggest that ITV would actually do better to put out this somewhat tired show to pasture. They could, instead, dust down their broom cupboard and come up with an entirely new show.
This morning on Boyle Sports, the available betting odds were as follows:
Alison Hammond – 2/1.
Dermot O’Leary – 5/2.
Rylan Clark – 11/4.
Bradley Walsh – 9/2.
Vernon Kay – 5/1.
Stacey Solomon – 12/1.
Marvin Humes – 14/1.
Keith Lemon – 33/1.
Thomas Skinner – 33/1.
Ant & Dec – 40/1.
Alesha Dixon – 50/1.
Amanda Holden – 66/1.
Piers Morgan – 150/1.
Ryan Tubridy – 150/1.
Commenting in response, Steeples observed:
“Whilst I’ve never even heard of Humes, Skinner and Tubridy and Piers Morgan – who’d understandly never ditch the £30 million deal he’s done with Rupert Murdoch at Talk TV and The Sun – has already declared himself out, why aren’t others on this list?”
“The brilliantly bonkers Gyles Brandreth and the equally brilliantly bonkers Christine Hamilton – who herself once made a brilliantly bonkers speech at my very own 21st birthday party back in 2001 – have both sat on the This Morning sofa on many an occasion and there’s no inclusion of other stalwarts including the delights that are Ferne Britton and Matthew Wright either.”
“If the ‘show must go on’ in its present format, these are the kind of people who’d bring both fun and frolicks to our screens, but they’re also capable of serious debate also. ITV would do well to consider them.”
“In reality, whilst I’d prefer to see This Morning disappear from every morning henceforth, the likelihood of more of the same with the undoubtedly voluptuous and vivacious Holly Willoughby and A. N. Other is not a solution. It’s instead time for ‘Willoughbooby’ – as the booby blonde was amusingly once nicknamed by Keith Lemon – to head off to pastures new and it is time for a clean sweep at ITV1.”
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
Pictured Top – Toxic terror queue jumpers Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby are over as “telly treasures” (top left) but who should replace them? How about one-time regulars on the show such as the ex-MP Gyles Brandreth and British battleaxe Christine Hamilton or what about near frontrunner at the bookies Rylan Clark?
This afternoon on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Who will be next permanent host replacement for Phillip Schofield and who will be there as sidekick on ITV’s ‘This Morning’?” By 12:30pm on Friday 26th May 2023, the majority of respondents favoured the answer: “Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary.”Responding to our poll within seconds, both mentioned options – Gyles Brandreth and Christine Hamilton – liked Matthew Steeples’s suggestion. The latter retweeted the missive with the accompanying caption: “I’m up for that – sounds a blast!!!” We respond: “Bring it on.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whWOAqTTwMw&t=3s
Part two was filmed earlier this week and delved into who might replace the dual British – New Zealand citizen on the sofa of a programme that airs Monday to Friday every week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPOP8hbZ7q8
Part one of Shaun Attwood’s interview with Matthew Steeples was filmed prior to Phillip Schofield deciding to step down from his role as co-host of ITV1’s long running morning show.On Boyle Sports this morning, the current stand-in presenters, Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary were at odds of 2/1 and 5/2 respectively to become the next permanent host. Rylan Clark was at 11/4 and though the remainder of the list was made-up of predictable choices, it is a shame that some ‘wildcard’ options were not included.A truly unappealing date – Doing the rounds on social media this morning was an old advert to “win a ‘date’ with Phillip Schofield” from ‘Smash Hits’ magazine. In it, described was “the dream date of a lifetime” – which more sounded more like something akin to hell – of lunch with the since ditched-by-most ‘entertainer’ at “a swank London restaurant” which the winner would be “whisked off to on a “train (or a plane or a boat or whatever it takes).” The advert continued: “[You’ll dine at] one of the snootiest eating establishments in ‘town’ and there waiting to attend your every whim…”Of Schofield’s demise, writing in ‘The Sun’ earlier this week, Piers Morgan stated: “Phillip’s not the evil monster he’s being painted as, nor is he the angel his previously halo-clad reputation suggested. I know a lot of people who loathe him for the way he’s treated them, including my good friends Amanda Holden and Eamonn Holmes. But I also know some of his colleagues, current and past, who speak highly of him and feel genuinely sad that his career is going up in smoke like this. One thing’s for sure, what’s happened to him is further evidence that the abyss-like depths of ruthless backstabbing in the world of daytime television makes even the seething cesspit of Westminster politics seem like an oasis of loyalty by comparison. One-minute Schofield was undisputed king of morning TV and fast heading to bona fide national treasure status – the next he’s a dethroned, shamed, vilified, national disgrace and social media laughing stock. And many of those people he mistakenly thought were faithful friends and colleagues have been happily tossing him on the bonfire in a blizzard of lurid leaks, smears, and damaging headlines. It’s been brutal to watch, but again, entirely unsurprising… I don’t know the full story behind Phillip Schofield’s downfall, but where I feel personal empathy with him is over the manner of his sacking… I, too, was deprived of saying goodbye to my GMB audience and that hurt after putting so much effort into gaining their trust. But he can at least console himself with the fact that he got publicly thanked by his employers.”Aside from appearing on BBC Radio 4’s ‘The Archers’ as a guest earlier this month, Rylan Clark is said to be “taking a break” from his other presenting duties currently. Could this be code for him preparing to take over co-hosting duties on the ‘This Morning’ sofa?A dream trio? Could Christine Hamilton (pictured top with ex-MP husband Neil) team up with Gyles Brandreth and Matthew Wright and take the show into a new era? They’d certainly be able to better cross the divide into discussing ‘more serious matters’ in a way that the lightweight Schofield and Willoughby most certainly never did.
Bonhams to sell amusing letters from “alcoholic crank” and author John O’Hara that examine the difference between “arse” and “ass;” of his work ‘BUtterfield 8’ Elizabeth Taylor once raged: “I think it stinks!”
“Bingeworthy” American short story author John O’Hara (1905 – 1970) was once described as “may not [having] been the best story writer of the twentieth century, but he [was] the most addictive.”
“Unfashionable in literary circles in the 1960s” and known for his “easily bruised ego, alcoholic crankiness, long-held resentments and politically conservative views,” an amusing letter from O’Hara – whose notable works included Appointment in Samarra and BUtterfield 8 – that was held in the collection of the Frasier screenwriter and producer David Lloyd (1934 – 2009) is to be auctioned by Bonhams in Los Angeles this month.
Written on 9th July 1938 to one Mr Mavrogordato and sent from 52 Chesil Court, Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 – which was also for a time home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler MBE (1926 – 2012) – the second of the letters points to the difference between the word “arse” in England and its counterpoint “ass” in America. It reads:
“In America the word is pronounced and spelled ass. In England, where I have had one book published, and another to be published in September, they spell it your way in my books. I happen to think it’s inconsistent to do that with a writer whose stuff is so completely American, but after a certain point has been reached, I always let publishers have their way.”
It comes with an earlier typed letter dated 4th July 1938 written to Fred J. Feldkamp (1914 – 1981), the editor of For Men, in which O’Hara submits an article (not present with the lot). The author informs that he will be “traveling through Europe for most of the summer” and complains:
“I admit that I was a little surprised at the small size of the cheque for the other piece, but we can take that up when I get home. Over here every little bit helps, and anyway it takes so God damn long to argue by mail.”
Whether this argumentative author subsequently made an “arse” or an “ass” of himself with his bosses remains unknown, but one thing is for sure, John O’Hara considered Americans above Brits to the end. In 1952, he concluded: “Sometimes I almost feel that I ought to apologize [sic] for having the ability to write good dialogue, and yet it’s the attribute most lacking in American writers and almost totally lacking in the British.”
Pictured top – One of the two letters that Bonhams are to sell on 10th August (left) and its “among the greatest short-story writers in English, or in any other language” – according to his fellow ‘New Yorker’ contributor Brendan Gill (1914 – 1997) – author John O’Hara (right).
A July 2013 ‘Chicago Tribune’ tribute to the “floating from one newspaper job to another… generally fired in a matter of months” author by Rick Kogan began: “John O’Hara was not a nice man, but he was, for a while, one hell of a great writer.” It ends: “As you might have guess, he wrote his own epitaph: ‘Better than anyone else, he told the truth about his time. He was a professional. He wrote honestly and well.’ ‘Better than anyone else?’ C’mon. ‘Honestly and well’? I can’t argue that.”Elizabeth Taylor starred in the 1960 drama film adaptation of O’Hara’s novel ‘BUttterfield 8” alongside her then husband Eddie Fisher. In spite of it being MGM’s biggest hit that year, Taylor “hated it” and cuttingly commented: “I still say in stinks.”“Witty” and known for being passionate about the “relationship of a man and his typewriter” David Lloyd – pictured with his son Christopher in 1998 with Emmy awards for ‘Frasier’ and the longtime owner of the letters and other lots to be offered on 10th August – died in November 2009 of prostate cancer. He was the co-creator of ABC’s ‘Modern Family’ and known for “his enormous first edition collection (a stunning number of which he actually read) and travelling the world with his leading lady.” His favourite restaurant, La Dolce Vita, has a dish named ‘Lambchops Lloyd’ on its menu in his honour.
‘The Steeple Times’ chooses our Heroes & Villains 2021; the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and the 25 who won’t
Happy New Year to all our readers. Our ‘Heroes & Villains’ list was well received in 2020 and as we move into 2021, we yet again to echo our sentiments from last year and join all celebrating ‘good riddance’ to the monstrous mess that so sadly continued from 2020 into 2021.
May we now all hope that this period of uncertainty is coming towards it end and may we salute the heroic frontline workers who’ve continued to work towards getting a solution to this.
Our Heroes & Villains 2021 list follows, but first we make a special award:
For such amazing dedication and tenacity in his quest to help others, this 24-year-old truly deserves to be commended as not just a hero of the year, but as one of the most remarkable men of the decade. We salute Marcus Rashford and join those lauding him for showing compassion, kindness and decency.
Long may this decent gent continue – but may we also hope that one day soon, a country like Britain stops actually needing to rely on the efforts of such people. It is time in 2022 for our Prime Minister to work towards provide a solution to this crisis, rather than, as it did in 2021, to allow itself to get mixed up in scandals such as ‘Wallpapergate’ and the disgraceful protection of its very own self-serving members like ‘MP for the BVI’ Geoffrey Cox QC and the now money grabbing rather than constituent focused ex-MP Owen Paterson.
HEROES OF 2021
We’ve seen some great people do some wonderful things during 2022 and in the face adversity and strife, it is yet again healthcare heroes who are the ones most deserving of our ultimate respect as they continue to fight to rid us all of coronavirus.
Elsewhere, others have put on extreme shows of courage, broken down barriers and supported those working to expose injustice. We celebrate them all, but our first selection for our Heroes & Villains 2021 list had to be:
WINNER – Richard Ratcliffe
Iranian-British dual citizen Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe has been imprisoned for no good reason in Iran for 19 months. Her husband, Richard Ratcliffe, meanwhile, has never given up hope and his 21-day hunger strike in Westminster in 2021 was illustration of his dedication and courage.
Though the British government has done little to nothing to help him and that the Foreign Secretary has yet to reach a solution is beyond disgraceful, Ratcliffe remains hopeful and in December remarked: “It feels like things are moving and movement is good. My greatest fear is inertia. I always feel it’s shameful, how could it happen, but it did.”
Rose Ayling-Ellis
Aged just 27 and born deaf, Rose Ayling-Ellis has played Frankie Lewis in the BBC One soap EastEnders since 2020. In 2021, she became the first deaf contestant on the channel’s Strictly Come Dancing and went on to win the show’s nineteenth series.
Her victory brought joy to the nation and of her success, award winning deaf and disabled journalist Liam O’Dell remarked: “It goes to show how, with the right support, deaf people can achieve anything… It’s important now that the buzz, passion and momentum generated by Rose’s journey does not dissipate – let’s continue uplifting deaf people!”
Alfie Best
In spite of being of humble origins and leaving school aged just 12, “old school, blood and blisters businessman” Alfie Best has risen to the top and deservedly recently won the ‘Entrepreneur of the Year Award’ at the Signature Awards at the Park Lane Hilton, London.
Described as “the world’s first gypsy billionaire” by the Mirror in August 2021, Wlydecrest Parks chairman and founder Best remarked: “I’m a Romany gypsy. I’m a gypsy through and through and sometimes I pinch myself.”
Generous, flamboyant and the owner of a fleet of helicopters and supercars, Best is the largest residential park and holiday home operator in the UK. He has over 91 parks in the UK alone and is also the owner of East Thurrock United.
Alfie Best, interviewed first by The Steeple Times in April 2017, is someone with tenacity and dedication to hard work. He sets an example to others that if you put in the hours, you’ll get the results and success you desire.
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, LG, GCVO, CSM, PC
Herself an “avid reader as a child,” the second wife of Charles, Prince of Wales, started what she described as a ‘Reading Room’ that is “inspired by the success of Her Royal Highness’s reading lists shared during the pandemic in 2020” in the last year.”
It has involved everyone from William Boyd and Susan Hill to Kazuo Ishiguro and Hilary Mantel and of why she started it, she herself stated:
“To me, reading is a great adventure. I’ve loved it since I was very small and I’d love everybody else to enjoy it as much as I do. You can escape and you can travel and you can laugh and you can cry. There’s every kind of emotion that humans experience in a book… It has been a lovely way of communicating.”
We urge readers of The Steeple Times to join the 128,000 who’ve already followed this worthy endeavour on Instagram.
Tony Hudgell (AKA ‘Bear’)
Happy New Year Everyone🎉 A message from Tony see you in 2022
Wishing you all health, love and happiness in the year to come 💙
— Tony Hudgell BEM (BCyA) Paula Hudgell OBE (@paula_hudgell) December 31, 2021
In his relatively short life thus far, 7-year-old double amputee and victim of parental abuse as a baby Tony Hudgell has morphed into a courageous changemaker.
This unstoppable dynamo – now adopted by two loving parents and living in West Malling, Kent – is a true “inspiration” and described as someone who “never complains, carries on no matter what is thrown at him – all the challenges, he just gets back up and carries on.”
Nicknamed ‘Captain’ for following in the footsteps of the late Captain Sir Tom Moore, Weller responded to the news by announcing:
“I’m chuffed to bits… It feels absolutely amazing to be honoured by the Queen. My mum told me about the award on Christmas Day and I thought, ‘wow! I am so excited.’”
“It makes me feel magnificent. I love raising money for charity and knowing I have helped other children is a lovely feeling. I am so proud and privileged.”
VILLAINS OF 2021
As could only be expected, many of the usual suspects to be considered villains in the context of our Heroes & Villains listings have behaved appallingly during 2021. Amongst them, towards the top of such a collection, has to be the buffoon that supposedly runs Britain but seems too busy consuming cheese and wine with his puppet mistress wife, Boris Johnson, and the mendacious money grabber the Duchess of Sussex and her sidekick drip of a husband, Prince Harry.
This dastardly duo – quite rightly now known as ‘Ginge and Cringe’ – have caused pain to the Queen at a time when she has lost her stalwart husband and joining them, others consistent in their vileness and ridiculousness must include, as ever, publican Tim Martin for whining about his beloved Brexit causing his profits to slump and the especially moronic media mouthpieces Darren Grimes, Owen Jones and Richard Madeley for their continuing crackpot craziness.
Now, unlike the entirely innocent and wrongly incarcerated Nazanin Zaghhari-Ratcliffe, rightly certain to spend the rest of her days rotting in the clink, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell (pictured in happier times with her father’s rival, Rupert Murdoch) will never again be called a “socialite.”
This wicked wench will henceforth quite deservedly will forever be labelled a “sex offender” and “sex trafficker” and again The Steeple Times joins those calling for the 1994 Met Police investigation into what went on at the alleged brothel at her Stanhope Mews East mews house to urgently be reopened.
We know that’ll be unlikely to occur whilst her school and university mate Dame Cressida Dick remains in charge and equally, we suspect, the deviant daughter of a murdering pension pot plunderer will not offer up any powerful names of those that so disgustingly ‘enjoyed’ abusing the innocent victims she so willingly passed around.
Shame on her and in 2022 and beyond, may Ghislaine Maxwell forever rot in hell.
Russell Brand
In June 2021, The Steeple Times featured the story of how The Sun excused the unfunny comedian Russell Brand as “quick thinking and a hero” after his German Shepherd dog, Bear, caught a female wallaby “whilst it had its baby in its pouch” and “mauled it to death” in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. He should have instead been condemned and most certainly not saluted and at time we remarked:
“If Brand’s dog had attacked sheep or a child – which it quite potentially could do next given it plainly has a clear penchant for blood – would The Sun so easily have leapt to his defence? The hypocrisy of this shocking story is clear and today we call upon the RSPCA and police to intervene before Brand’s dog slaughters something else.”
As far as we are aware, disgustingly, both Bear and Brand remain at large; where the poor wallaby and its baby is buried is, however, unknown.
Gordon Elliott
Racing “blow-in” – given his being the son of a panel-beater and lacking any familial connections to horse racing – Gordon Elliott brought utter disgrace to the sport in March 2021 when he was banned as a trainer for 12 months after being captured on camera sitting on a dead horse whilst on his mobile phone and making a V-sign. Outrageously, this sick scumbag was allowed back into the game just 6 months later and nobody seemed to bat an eyelid.
Ivy Holt
PR pontificating prized pillock Ivy Holt of Media PR is so “highbrow” that we haven’t even got a photo of her – not that we’re bothered; it’d probably break your screens, she’s probably as ugly as sin physically on top of her ugly as sin soul.
This wannabe Brian Basham and fake news muckspreader was called out by The Steeple Times on 1st April 2021 – April Fools’ Day – after she tried to make a mockery of our previous day’s story about the twentieth anniversary of the tragic murder of Stuart Lubbock at the home of the disgraced ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore. Shame on her; what an utter disgrace.
Ms Holt (AKA Ivy Elizabeth Barbara Elsby) thought herself clever for sending a press release containing nothing but fake news. When questioned, she claimed that we, instead, were at fault for hurting the feelings of the deranged drug addict Lindsay Lohan. Frankly, this stupid cow and her crappy clients ‘Love Yourself’ ought to have got real. Next!
Rebecca Sabben-Clare
If you were a barrister, you’d most probably abide by the law and be a pillar of the community. Sadly, Rebecca Sabben-Clare of 7 King’s Bench isn’t such a person and after failing to keep her dog on a lead, the result was that her out-of-control beast savagely killed a seal that it managed to get its teeth into.
Sabben-Clare, instead of putting her hands up in shame, then tried to PR her way out of the situation and herself lawyered up. Why the police didn’t prosecute this unfit-to-own-an-animal-of-any-kind barbarian is beyond comprehension.
James Staley (AKA ‘Jes Staley’)
In February 2020, The Steeple Times made reference to an investigation into Barclays CEO Jes Staley (pictured left) in connection to his close connection to the croaked just under a year earlier paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
It took 627 days until anything progressed, but on 1st November 2021, this Boston, Massachusetts born close associate of Ghislaine Maxwell’s ex-lover finally stepped down. The mucky madam, meanwhile, had her Barclays account closed shut down while she was trying to fund her case in February 2020 on the basis of her links to the proceeds of crime.
THOSE WHO’LL BE MISSED
Sadly, as with any year, countless great people pass on into the skies and amongst the many who’ll be greatly missed are are the Queen’s late husband and constant stalwart Prince Philip, the billionaire businessmen Sir David Barclay and Galen Weston OC, CVO, OOnt, footballer Jimmy Greaves, founder of Tramp nightclub Johnny Gold, the Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding, the talk show host Larry King, the actresses Helen McCrory OBE and Una Stubbs, the racehorse trainer Zoe Davison and the Cheveley Park Stud owner David Thompson CBE.
Our twenty-five selections follow, but naturally the winner of the most missed for our Heroes & Villains 2021 list had to be:
WINNER – Archbishop Desmond Tutu OMSG CH GCStJ
A 90-year-old humanitarian, human rights activist and key force in the campaign to end apartheid, this humble South African hero to millions insisted on “no ostentatiousness or lavish spending” for his funeral and that he be given “the cheapest available coffin.”
Of him, via a video message shown at his funeral, Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, the head of the worldwide Anglican church, remarked:
“Archbishop Tutu lit up the world… that light has lit up countries globally that were struggling with fear, conflict, persecution, oppression, where the marginalised suffered.”
“When we were in the dark, he brought light. For me to praise him is like a mouse giving tribute to an elephant.”
“South Africa has given us extraordinary examples of towering leaders of the rainbow nation with President Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Tutu… Many Nobel winners’ lights have grown dimmer over time, but Archbishop Tutu’s has grown brighter.”
The late Archbishop himself once wisely added: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” He was spot on and with his passing, humanity is all the poorer.
Harry Brant
A “socialite and style setter” according to The New York Times, Harry Brant fulfilled the prophecy of “the good die young” when he was found dead aged just 24 in January 2021.
Son of the industrialist Peter M. Brant and original supermodel Stephanie Seymour, this modern-day “Little Lord Fauntleroy,” as Vanity Fair once called him, “pushed the boundaries on gender stereotype” and released unisex makeup collections with MAC with his brother even in 2015 and 2016.
Of his passing, his family announced in a statement: “He was a creative, loving and powerful soul that brought light into so many people’s hearts. He was truly a beautiful person inside and out.”
John Challis
The Steeple Times interviewed actor John Challis in May 2013. He told us that “mobile phones are a bloody nuisance” and that he loathed the word “gobsmacked.” He spoke of ABBA being his guilty pleasure and his love of the Hotel Splendido in Portofino and though he became best known for playing a conniving car dealer in Only Fools and Horses, he was only meant to be in the sitcom for one episode.
Thrice married and born in Clifton, Bristol, the legend that was John Challis died aged 79 in September 2021. The statement: “Come on, Marlene. Let’s go home and ignore each other for the evening” will sadly now never be heard directly from his lips ever again.
Terry Lubbock
A campaigner to the end for justice for his raped and murdered son, Stuart – a father of two who was killed in the most gruesome manner in March 2001 at the home of the since deservedly disgraced ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore – died after a long battle with cancer in September 2021.
Though he never managed to see any of those present at the Roydon, Essex bungalow when his son died, he will forever be remembered for being “mild-mannered” yet having “the heart of a lion.”
Wilbur Smith
Born in Northern Rhodesia in 1933, British-South African novelist Wilbur Smith (pictured with his beloved wife, Niso) had published an astonishing 49 books and sold over 140 million copies by the time he died in November 2021.
Smith was an international household name whose swashbuckling adventure stories gripped readers for over half a century. He covered critical periods including the dawn of colonial Africa, the American Civil War and the apartheid era South Africa and did so with style and panache.
In 2018, in his memoir On Leopard Rock, the author recounted his life and remarked he’d had ““tough times, bad marriages … burnt the midnight oil getting nowhere, but it has, all in the end, added up to a phenomenally fulfilled and wonderful life.” Believer in “deep research” Smith concluded: “I want to be remembered as somebody who gave pleasure to millions” and he most certainly will.
THOSE WHO WON’T BE MISSED
It is much harder to choose villains who deserve to be dead than heroes who deserve to be missed given they are all loved by somebody whatever they may have done, but lots of bad guys and gals have gone in 2021 – amongst them mobsters, murderers, rapists and sex offenders.
Those that especially stand out for our Heroes & Villains 2021 list include:
WINNER – Bernard L. Madoff
Having been sent to prison for 150 years, the maximum sentence allowed, on 29th June 2009, Queens, New York born Bernie Madoff died in prison on 14th April 2021.
An individual rotten to his core and the personification of greed this Ponzi schemer stole not only £48 billion ($65 billion), but also left behind a family in ruins. One of his two sons died of cancer, the other committed suicide and to the end this wicked “wizard of lies” and all-round wrong ‘un.
Quite rightly, in June 2020, this fraudster’s request for release on compassionate grounds was denied. His wife, Ruth, continues to deny any knowledge of the fraud in spite of being the long-time keeper of his books.
Michael McKevitt
Founder of the Real IRA Michael McKevitt was the brother-in-law of hunger striking Provisional Irish Republican Army (IRA) hunger striker Bobby Sands.
A County Leith native and eventually expelled from the Real IRA, McKevitt was one of four men found liable for the 1988 Omagh bombing and jailed in 2003 for “directing terroism” between August 1999 and October 2000. He had allegedly planned to assassinate the then British Prime Minister Tony Blair and died following a battle with cancer on 2nd January 2021.
Donald Rumsfeld, 13th and 21st United States Secretary of Defense
Forever more, Donald Rumsfeld’s name will be associated with “the biggest military fiasco in US history, the 2003 invasion of Iraq in pursuit of non-existent weapons of mass destruction, alongside the widespread use of torture that has dogged America’s reputation ever since” according to The Guardian.
A Donald Trump supporter described by Henry Kissinger as “the most ruthless man” he ever knew, the villain Rumsfeld was also labelled the “worst secretary of defense in American history” and a man who “lacked the wisdom to change his mind” by The Atlantic. Many believe this psychopath will burn in hell; they are more than likely right.
Phil Spector (born Harvey Phillip Spector)
Born in The Bronx, New York in December 1939, this clearly talented but totally unsound of mind American record producer, musician and songwriter worked with The Beatles, The Ronettes and Tina Turner.
In 2009, this monstrous twisted drug addict was convicted of the 2003 murder by shooting of the actress Lana Clarkson at his then home, the Pyrenees Castle in Alhambra, California, and sentenced to nineteen years to life in prison. Phil Spector died in the clink in Los Angeles, in January 2021. The world is a better place for this repugnant specimen’s passing.
Raymond Teret (AKA ‘Ugli’ and ‘Ugly Ray’)
Chauffeur to the perverted paedophile Sir Jimmy Savile turned radio DJ, Salisbury born Ray Teret was accused of over thirty offences of sexual abuse and eventually convicted of seven counts of rape and eleven counts of indecent assault in December 2014.
AND FINALLY… A SELECTION OF FIVE AMAZING ANIMALS WHO’VE SADLY LEFT US IN 2021
Some incredible animals spotted doing incredible things have kept us all going in the dark days 2021, but amongst those that sadly passed and are thus included on our Heroes & Villains 2021 list are:
WINNER – Seal named ‘Freddie Mercury’
Though the death of any majestic animal is awful, the way in which an irresponsible barrister (one of our Villains of 2021) named Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC reacted after her “snarling” terrier-cross mauled to death a “defenceless” seal on the River Thames in March 2021 was utterly disgraceful.
‘Freddie Mercury,’ as the seal was nicknamed, shamefully never got justice whilst the reprehensible Sabben-Clare was not even prosecuted. The lesson here is this: If you spot this wicked woman and her deranged dog in 2022, run for the hills.
Racehorse named ‘Galileo’
Aged 23 at the time of his death in July 2021, Galileo was a spectacular Irish Thoroughbred racehorse who ran eight times and won six races including The Derby, the Irish Stakes, the King George VI and the Queen Elizabeth Stakes in 2001. After his retirement, he became one of the most sought after sires of the world with notable offspring including Frankel, Nathaniel, and Anthony Van Dyck.
Minke whale calf named ‘Minnie’
In May 2021, an injured minke whale calf became trapped at Teddington Lock in the River Thames. Stuck sixty miles from the estuary, this poor 13-foot long juvenile – which was named ‘Minnie’ – got stuck in weeds after “running out of river and having nowhere to go.” After a desperate attempt to save the “poor fella,” the unfortunate mammal had to be put down with an overdose of anaesthetic.
Racehorse named ‘Roy Rocket’
With nine 1st places along with two 2nd and six 3rd places at Brighton during his eleven-year life, “Roy’s The Boy,” as he was known was “an incredible horse.” Stubborn to the point he wouldn’t go anywhere else, this favourite of punters even had an octogenarian fan named Iris who forced his trainer, John Berry, to down flasks of gin prior to sending him to post.
Dolphin named ‘Winter’
This female Atlantic bottlenose dolphin was found when she circa two months old tangled in a crab trap line in Mosquito Lagoon, Florida in December 2005. Without circulation to her tail flukes as a result, ‘Winter’ lost her tail and was given a prosthetic replacement. In turn, it allowed her make a complete recovery and become an international star featuring in books, films and Nintendo games even. She died in November 2021 of a twisted intestine.
THANK YOU AND ALL THE BEST FOR 2022
All at The Steeple Times would like to thank everyone who has contributed suggestions to our list of the Heroes & Villains 2021. Most have expressed that they would rather not be named so we shall respect that, but all their contributions are greatly appreciated.
May we end by wishing you and yours great times and prosperity in 2022 and may this, for us all, be a much better year.
Cheers and happiness galore and do send your suggestions for the heroes and villains of 2022 to us at [email protected] as the year progresses.
Matthew Steeples previews ‘Who Is Gatsby Randolph?’ and finds it not only refreshingly raucous, but also proof that anyone can achieve their dream
In England, we have party crashers like David Pun – a bow tie wearing blaggart who pretends to own Harvey Nichols, but actually lives in a bus shelter in Hammersmith. Freakish toerags like him and the bigoted berk Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben pollute events, hoovering up canapés and nabbing gift bags with audacity and awfulness, but in Hollywood there’s a marvelous man who has got the art of getting into the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party down to a fine art.
London’s leading liggers, amongst them bow tie wearing David Pun (right) and convicted racist Marie-Claire, ‘Baroness’ von Alvensleben (left, with disgraced ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore), flash business cards lacking class, style and elegance, but still somehow get their wicked way into society bashes. How they get away with it remains a mystery and though there have been proposals to make documentaries about their antics, these have yet to reach the viewing public.English actress turned award winning producer Alexa Jago, however, has managed to bring the remarkable yet totally true story of a humble boy from Memphis, Tennessee who sought out and achieved his dream of getting to the top in Tinseltown to the big screen.With a (borrowed but real) Oscar and a bottle of Dom Perignon (or five), this bio-documentary of an aspiring music producer turned tastemaker illustrates the power of Instagram. In it, the star claims “social media is archival footage” and through weaving his posts into a cohesive story, Gatsby Randolph becomes a genuine and welcomed personality.
https://vimeo.com/423678137
A ‘mockumentary’ in style and deservedly lauded as “Borat meets Entourage,” Who Is Gatsby Randolph? tells the story of Memphis, Tennessee born Kobie Randolph’s transition as he seeks out fame and fortune in Tinseltown. Rather like in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel from which he takes his adopted moniker, “people were not invited – they went there” is the premise of our suave, cigar chomping protagonist.
Produced by talented English theatre and film actress turned award winning producer Alexa Jago – best known for having worked alongside amongst others Kevin Costner and for having been part of the team behind the 2015 hit Kajaki (AKA Kilo Two Bravo) – and due for theatrical release in the coming months, here is a film about a young man’s rise from poverty to the pinnacle of power and privilege living in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills.
With 101,000 followers on Instagram currently, but ironically without 101 Dalmatians, in what has been described as “a poignant wild ride through red carpets with unlimited access to all the glitz and glamour,” this bio-documentary examines not only success, but also struggle.
Reinvention is key to Kobie Randolph’s transition into his alter-ego ‘Gatsby’ and of his journey, the star recently told FilmInk: “As a filmmaker, I recognised that my own story of rags to riches was, in fact, a movie in the making.” He most certainly has achieved that and Who Is Gatsby Randolph? most definitely looks set to be one of the hits of 2022.
Pictured top – Kobie Randolph, a man described by British actor Hainsley Lloyd Bennett as making him “feel like I could take over Hollywood.” Of him, the ‘Pennyworth’ star recently remarked: “His electric spirit jumps through the screen… He projected that he was somebody, so everyone treated him like he was and that was irrespective of his race, his age and his looks.”
Here (pictured with Anna Wintour) is a hustler who threw convention to the wind and got himself in front of Steven Spielberg even.This is an amusing and lighthearted tale that echoes F. Scott Fitzgerald’s character’s intrepid pursuit of the American dream. Its protagonist (pictured here with screen sirens Glenn Close and Emily Blunt) really did get into ‘Vanity Fair’s’ Oscar after-party not only once but four times.On his journey, Gatsby Randolph met everyone from Angelina Jolie (pictured) to Reese Witherspoon.
