Pippa’s post

Pippa Middleton offered £100,000 job at a strip club in Croydon

Pippa Middleton has tried working for Waitrose and has variously done stints writing for such titles as The Spectator, Vanity Fair and The Sunday Telegraph. She’s written a book, entitled Celebrate, about party planning, but now Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club in Croydon, Surrey are offering the younger sister of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge £100,000 to join their ranks.

In an open letter, the strip club’s marketing boss, Lily Carousel, invited Miss Middleton to become an entertainer “exempt from stage performances”.

The full transcript of Carousel’s letter reads as follows:

Dear Ms Pippa Middleton:

We at Larry Flynt’s world famous Hustler Club cordially invite you to become an Honorary Member of the Hustler Honeys.

This might seem like an odd proposal, but let me explain why we feel that you would be perhaps our most exceptional Hustler Honey to date. At Hustler Club UK, over the past few years we have expanded to welcome new Honeys into our exclusive fellowship, whose stories, personalities and inner strength serve as inspiration for the empowerment of women. We value many of the characteristics in our girls that, we believe, you too exude. Qualities such as strength, bravery, determination, passion, confidence, and of course, exceptional beauty.

We are fully aware of the demands of your current roles have and it occurs to me that your existing commitments are crowded with formalities and that you might enjoy two or three nights of excitement at the Club with no formal engagements and an opportunity to have a little fun.

Exempt from stage performances you could focus solely on entertaining your guests in our luxurious private VIP rooms. Your experience in the event planning industry is an asset that would ensure your comfort in entertaining in your new environment whilst our ever-exciting parties would surely benefit from the flair of a professional party planner.

The tact, the graciousness and the understanding of our guests would certainly make for a smooth transition to an exciting new project and I’m sure all the Hustler Honeys would be most accommodating should you have any further questions.

We sincerely hope you will honor the club by accepting its invitation. If this should become a reality, I hope very much that you would accept our offer of £100,000 in addition to the gratuities afforded to our top-tier entertainers. Nothing would give us greater pleasure than if you were to accept.

Thanking you for an early, and I trust, favorable reply.

Lily Carousel

Social Media & Marketing Executive

P.S. In the inevitable event that you become engaged, we’d very much like to host a private hen party at our Club for you and your guests as well as an exclusive stag party for your groom-to-be (separate of course!). We would include bottle service and entertainment in our private VIP rooms, including time with some of our amazing Hustler Honeys and their tantalizing performances on 3 stages. We’ll guarantee you the most fun you’ve ever had!

Unsurprisingly, The Croydon Advertiser reports that “there has been no word from Miss Middleton’s camp” yet.

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