The Steeple Times

Tag: Wine

  • Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie

    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie

    Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?

    Described on his ‘official’ YouTube channel in the comments section by some as “magical” and “one of his greatest hits” in spite of being frankly weird, a seriously strange video of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show is something that could sum up what could soon happen to Carrie Symonds next.

     

    Focused on the lyrics “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” as the contemptible Christian crackpot ‘Cliffy’ croons in the mist outside a café-bar, the continuation with “Carrie used to live on the second floor… Sorry that she left no forwarding address… That was known to me, Carrie” could soon apply to Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama.

     

    Quite deservedly under fire as to failing to explain who really funded payment of the vast £200,000 bill caused by Peter Jones loathing Miss Symonds’ demands for a quite unnecessary makeover of their perfectly habitable Downing Street flat, Boris Johnson – who still faces an ongoing inquiry also into who paid for the December 2019 Mustique holiday nearly 16 months later also – is on the ropes. Like Teflon, he may bat these investigations away, but with his “psychopath” nemesis – as some have branded him – Cummings having “gone rogue,” this time things are beginning to stick.

     

    Of the imaginary ‘Carrie’ in the 1980 song – written by ‘Devil Woman’ songwriter Terry Britten – all-round oddity Sir Cliff told the Mail on Sunday in November 2008:

     

    “It’s a mysterious song because you never really know what it’s about. A guy turns up in the neighborhood asking where Carrie is. The very last line goes: ‘Carrie doesn’t live, doesn’t live…’ You’re left thinking: ‘Is she dead? Has she been murdered?’”

     

    Now, with public outrage turning up the heat in ‘Costly Carrie’s’ Westminster lair, will this ‘Modern Day Lady Macbeth’ puppet mistress ‘survive’ her “date with her own kind of fate”? Some might think that, but we couldn’t possibly comment.

     

    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – The March 1980 screening of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show. Of the song, one fan, Tim Roxborough, cringeworthily declared: “Late 70s/early 80s songs like ‘Dreamin,’ ‘Carrie’ and ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ aren’t just hits, nor are they just catchy pop tunes. Vocally, Cliff is singing much higher and with far greater emotion and elasticity than what he did in the 50s and 60s. If you’re prejudiced, pretend ‘Carrie’ isn’t a Cliff Richard song and its hook, its groove, its paranoid lyrics and its clean production make it a worthy music cousin of Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine.’” We’d argue to the contrary: It’s frankly just creepy.
    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – Cliff Richard & Carrie Symonds – Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds share a penchant for hooch and holidays. Equally, they both share a liking for making things up and being the centre of attention. Examples of such behaviour includes Miss Symonds’ temper tantrum over being called ‘Princess Nut Nut’ by Dominic Cummings and Sir Cliff’s “young man, go f**k yourself” rant after supposedly being “duped” into describing his own wine as “tainted and insipid” by Gordon Ramsay in June 2006.
    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – Cliff Richard & Carrie Symonds – Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – The similarities between Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama and the creepy Christian crooner continue in the design department. Whilst Miss Symonds likes curious colour concoctions that wouldn’t look out of place in the home of Edina Monsoon in the comedy ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ (left), Sir Cliff favours décor decisions that would most definitely appeal to dictators and despots such as Saddam Hussein and Nicolae Ceaușescu (right).
    Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Both Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds take the attitude of the late, great Ian Richardson in the original (and better) television adaptation of Michael Dobbs’ ‘House of Cards’ and respond to any criticism with his infamous: “You might very well think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.” Perhaps, if Tory sleaze does indeed engulf his administration, puppet mistress Miss Symonds and her hapless hubby-to-be may find themselves forced into taking a very ‘Long Summer Holiday’ soon too.
  • Costly Carrie

    Costly Carrie

    The extravagance of Carrie Symonds plainly knows no bounds; what ‘Costly Carrie’ wants, cost unconscious puppet mistress Carrie gets

    ‘Princess Nut Nut’ – AKA ‘Costly Carrie’ Symonds – will go down in history as Downing Street’s answer to Barbara Amiel. With an attitude to expenditure that makes she whose “extravagance knew no bounds” look meek, Boris Johnson’s puppet mistress has deservedly been criticised in recent days for her £200,000 “monstrous” and “inappropriate” makeover of the flat occupied by the Prime Minister.

     

    Now, with news that she’s topped her spendaholic lifestyle with over £12,500 of deliveries from ritzy Daylesford – owned by “lady doors to manual” Carole Bamford – during successive lockdowns, this utterly out-of-touch with ordinary folk woman is understandably being mocked and derided. Here is someone whose Imelda Marcos ways will ultimately make Cherie Blair seem like a comparative penny pincher.

     

    Having first shown her harridan handiwork in forcing ‘Bosie The Clown’ to turf out Dominic Cummings for not kowtowing to her, ‘modern day Marie Antoinette’ Symonds – who also faces scandal in the face of an investigation into the charity she works for – has also been slammed for appointing her cronies without following due process.

     

    One-time employee of another charity linked to incarcerated mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, psychotic wine-chucker ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ has plenty of previous. Aside from bedroom area shenanigans with The Sun’s Harry Cole, Britain’s rather unfortunate equivalent of a first lady previously had an “emotionally charged… tumultuous” relationship with Oliver Haiste, an alleged fake news hoaxer with links to the deranged far right Traditional Britain Group.

     

    Costly Carrie Symonds 2021 – Boris Johnson’s spouse Carrie Symonds is a spendaholic – The extravagance of Carrie Symonds plainly knows no bounds; what ‘Costly Carrie’ wants, cost unconscious puppet mistress Carrie gets.
    Costly Carrie – Carrie Symonds definitely wields the power in Downing Street these days. Her drippy hubby-to-be Boris Johnson is nothing but a puppet, in fact.
    Costly Carrie Symonds 2021 – Boris Johnson’s spouse Carrie Symonds is a spendaholic – The extravagance of Carrie Symonds plainly knows no bounds; what ‘Costly Carrie’ wants, cost unconscious puppet mistress Carrie gets.
    Costly Carrie – Aside from daily deliveries of expensive provisions from Lady Bamford’s ritzy Daylesford “farm shop” during the pandemic lockups, Symonds brought in the anything but cheap “celebrity eco designer” Lulu Lytle to eliminate the “John Lewis furniture nightmare” of the Theresa May era décor of the Prime Minister’s Downing Street private residence.
  • A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021

    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021

    Matthew Steeples shares his “yellow stickered” spending splurge just as it is revealed the average British family spent an extra £50 on groceries in January 2021

    This morning, just as the Guardian shared news that the “average British family spent [an] extra £50 on groceries in January “[underpinning a] £1 billion surge in supermarket spending,” I found myself with a £95 bill for a quick shop at a small Waitrose store in Brompton Road, London.

     

    Despite living alone during this latest lockdown, I – like the rest of the population it plainly seems – find myself making “spontaneous Waitrose trips” now due to being unable to go to restaurants. I saunter in intending to buy just a pint of milk and a bottle of wine perhaps, but end up leaving with goodness knows what.

     

    The perils or, to my plainly muddled mind, delights of finding yellow stickered items is part of the ‘problem.’ Discovering a bargain brings joy to my somewhat dull days and aside from buying the odd chocolate bar for the poor homeless residents of ‘Tent City Knightsbridge,’ I truly cannot justify such sporadic spending on things I truly don’t actually need.

     

    Unsurprisingly, the Guardian also reported that the majority of the increase in supermarket spending in January came from booze. They reported that whilst hideous no-alcohol beer rose “by 12% in the month” but that “alcohol sales surged by an even stronger 29%, or £234m, as the closure of pubs and clubs led to increased drinking at home.” Cheers to that!

     

    Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

     

    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – Supermarket spends up – Matthew Steeples shares his “yellow stickered” spending splurge just as it is revealed the average British family spent an extra £50 on groceries in January 2021.
    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – “You know lockdown is taking a toll when the spontaneous Waitrose trips begin” remarked one Instagram user last week… When yellow stickered bargains at 10p a pop are involved, one can see why.
    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – Supermarket spends up – Matthew Steeples shares his “yellow stickered” spending splurge just as it is revealed the average British family spent an extra £50 on groceries in January 2021.
    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – ‘Celebrity Waitrose’ in Belgravia is well-known for its yellow stickered bargain hunters. Amongst them are the renowned convicted racist and bargain grubber Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben, the potty chairman of Reform UK Richard Tice and a wacky woman nicknamed ‘The Aisle Eater.’
    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – Supermarket spends up – Matthew Steeples shares his “yellow stickered” spending splurge just as it is revealed the average British family spent an extra £50 on groceries in January 2021.
    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – Bargain loving sorts can now also indulge in Tesco reduced yellow sticker “grab a bargain” facemasks and throw blankets via RedBubble.
    A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021 – Since lockdown’s began in March 2020, yellow stickered bargain hunters have embraced their searches finds with gusto. Here, in July 2020, a YouTube user posted a 1-minute video of his ‘loot.’
  • Dry January 2021 CANCELLED

    Dry January 2021 CANCELLED

    At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead, celebrate #DryGinuary

    “Dry January will be Wetter Than Ever!” screamed a WSJ Magazine headline on 30th December and today we join those echoing Iris Apfel and Robert Venturi in stating: “More is More and Less is a Bore.” We suggest our readers that so choose should ignore the hype of ‘Dry January’ and at a time when many are locked up and lonely, respond by suggesting that everybody just enjoys themselves and drinks whatever they bloody well wish (in moderation).

     

    “I don’t associate guilt with pleasure,” artist and How to Survive the End of the World podcast hostess Autumn Brown told the article’s author Annie Werner and once again today we remind readers of the legendary French chef Alain Ducasse’s words this time last year:

     

    “I like swimming against the tide. I’ve noted [the Dry January] trend, but I don’t want to see or hear of it, I am opposed to it. [I want to] rid consumers of their inhibitions [with regard to wine drinking].”

     

    Going further and speaking of the dangers of signing up to a month without booze, consultant in liver medicine at the University Hospital Southampton NHS Foundation Trust Dr Mark Wright told Metro:

     

    “Giving up alcohol for dry January as some sort of detox is like maxing out your credit cards all year and thinking you can solve your financial problems by living like a hermit for a month… It just isn’t going to make things better if you then go back to your usual habits in February. It’s not a fix-all solution.”

     

    Faced with Boris Johnson’s lunacy lockdown in 2021 – where you can buy a leather collar for a dog in pet store (“essential” and open) but not a leather belt for a human in a clothes store (“non-essential” and closed) – we say that Brits that wish should follow the French and say ‘NON!’ to the patronising and pointless campaign that is ‘Dry January’ for once and for all.

     

    Instead, today, we join all those celebrating #DryGinuary this month and raise a glass and an almighty cheers to y’all.

     

    Three gins we recommend this #DryGinuary:

    No. 3 London Dry Gin

    Dry January 2021 CANCELLED – Ignore #DryJanuary, do #DryGinuary – At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead celebrate #DryGinuary with No. 3 Dry London Gin, Fishers Gin and Gilpin’s Westmorland Extra Dry Gin.

    The only gin in the world crafted by someone with a PhD in gin and owned by the world’s finest wine merchants, Berry Bros & Rudd.

     

    Fishers Gin

    Dry January 2021 CANCELLED – Ignore #DryJanuary, do #DryGinuary – At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead celebrate #DryGinuary with No. 3 Dry London Gin, Fishers Gin and Gilpin’s Westmorland Extra Dry Gin.

    This “authentic [44% ABV] coastal spirit” has notes of samphire and bog myrtle. Hints of salt shine through. It’s a catch and once reeled in, it’ll become a keeper.

     

    Gilpin’s Westmorland Extra Dry Gin

    Dry January 2021 CANCELLED – Ignore #DryJanuary, do #DryGinuary – At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead celebrate #DryGinuary with No. 3 Dry London Gin, Fishers Gin and Gilpin’s Westmorland Extra Dry Gin.

    47% ABV, from the Lake District and featuring a fresh aroma balanced with a dry yet bitter resinous taste. Not for the faint hearted.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IphT-rMZcCs
  • Carrie, Cummings & Calamity

    Carrie, Cummings & Calamity

    Matthew Steeples condemns Boris Johnson’s puppet masters for leading him down a path that will bring calamity to our economy in 2021

    Unelected decision makers Carrie Symonds and Dominic Cummings ought to go down in history as the architects of the impending disaster zone that should henceforth be simply known as ‘Bankrupt Britain.’

     

    Whilst many might pin the blame for this calamity on a rudderless government, it would actually be untrue to suggest that Boris Johnson is anything other than a plaything of his two aforementioned modern-day slavers. Incapable of deciding anything other than to opt for red or white wine for his latest baby mama to chuck at him, ‘Bosie The Clown’ has morphed from a figure of a fun into a foaming, fumbling fool.

     

    Aside from Matt ‘HanCockup’ pathetically blubbing on the telly box and failing to look human, here in this government we actually have a bunch of nincompoops incapable of understanding the savage impending financial woes of those that put it in office face as we move in 2021.

     

    Whilst elected with the help of the demolition of the ‘Red Wall’ Brexit supporting north, this Tory government came to power promising an ‘oven ready’ solution to our exit from the European Union. Instead, it’s presided over a pandemic it hasn’t had a clue how to handle and now faces gridlock at lorry parks with lavatories named after Nigel Farage in Kent.

     

    In locking up Greater London’s businesses just as they had begun to make a little money prior to Christmas, yet again comes another body blow to the economy that frankly just illustrates that this ship of fools shouldn’t even be in charge of a bus ticket. Shame on them and shame on our lily-livered Prime Minister for hiding behind the coattails of ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ and her cronies. It is time for Boris Johnson to man up and put the calamity of Carrie back in her puppeteers’ cupboard. Of course, we all know the sad truth: Instead, he’ll sadly just bumble into yet more doom and damage in 2021; God help us all.

     

    Pictured top: Carrie Symonds behaves as if she is the one actually in charge. Sadly, she seems to be morphing into such in spite of her frightful fiancée actually being the one whose government is meant to be running once Great Britain.

     

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  • Carrie On Cronyism

    Carrie On Cronyism

    Carrie Symonds is morphing into the Lynda Snell of Downing Street; this busybody bird’s cronyism and nepotism stinks to high heaven

    Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama, Carrie Symonds (AKA ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’), is sadly nothing like the seen-but-rarely-heard prime ministerial spouses of old.

     

    Whilst Denis Thatcher happily took a back seat and parked himself in a corner with a stiff G&T and Norma Major steered clear of anything to do with curried eggs, Symonds is increasingly showing herself as the Lynda Snell of Downing Street.

     

    Like her counterpart Snell in The Archers, Symonds wants to be Queen of the Westminster village pantomime and she especially wants to control her prime puppet, ‘Bosie The Clown.’ Here is a woman who doesn’t take no for an answer and here is someone with the power to manipulate her cast as she so desires.

     

    With her potential nemesis Dominic Cummings, for now, consigned to history for daring to call her ‘Princess Nut Nut,’ Symonds now has a free reign. This morning’s revelation that her best friend and godmother to her child, Nimco Ali, has been appointed a paid advisor without it being advertised is indeed shocking and totally disgraceful proof of that.

     

    Symonds, as we’ve highlighted before, has an address book that is not exactly stellar. Aside from the potential connection to the incarcerated mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell through the charity they both were heavily involved in, this temper tantrum prone, red wine chucking 32-year-old’s links to the far right via her ex-lover’s involvement with Russia and the bigoted Traditional Britain Group stink to high heaven.

     

    If Boris Johnson had an arsehole rather than actually just being one, he’d put this pantomime dame back in the toy box. Sadly, though the cronyism of the diva ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ will continue, it should be noted for what it is and today we join those calling it out for the disgrace that it truly is.

     

    Pictured top: Carole Boyd (Lynda Snell in ‘The Archers’) is known for cajoling Ambridge villagers into whatever project has currently got her goat; Carrie Symonds is a remarkably similar, though far less tolerable, younger version.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Carrie On Cronyism – Carrie Symonds’ cronyism is a disgrace – Carrie Symonds is morphing into the Lynda Snell of Downing Street; this busybody bird’s cronyism and nepotism stinks to high heaven.
    Carrie On Cronyism – Carrie Symonds is truly the cushy cat that got the cream. For now… How long will it be until Boris gets bored and his eyes get wandering?
    Carrie On Cronyism – Carrie Symonds’ cronyism is a disgrace – Carrie Symonds is morphing into the Lynda Snell of Downing Street; this busybody bird’s cronyism and nepotism stinks to high heaven.
    Carrie On Cronyism – Blundering buffoon Boris Johnson used to be Dominic Cummings’ puppet. He’s now controlled, instead, by Carrie Symonds.
  • The (Loss) of Ludicrous Lord’s

    The (Loss) of Ludicrous Lord’s

    EXCLUSIVE – Matthew Steeples reports on coronavirus and the lack of Arabic arrivals killing off Knightsbridge’s most expensive ‘convenience’ store, Lord’s Food & Wine of Brompton Road

    Lord’s Food & Wine at 209 Brompton Road, SW3 was a shop you only ever went into when you were drunk, deranged, desperate (or all of the above). It was grotty and grim and known only for its truly extortionate prices, but to its credit, this favourite of both High Net Worths and the homeless was open 24/7, 365 days per year. This ‘convenience’ store was reliably dreadful, but, today, it was finally locked up and locked up and shuttered for once and for good.

     

    Run by the rudest staff imaginable and featuring a pungent smell of samosas that never escaped its price unconscious patrons, here was a shop where a magnum of vodka could be had for £1,000 a pop whilst they’d flog you something as unlovely as Blue Nun for “just” £18.50 a bottle. They even sold Whispering Angel for those desperate to be “a banger” – but even that rotten rose was marked up from about £22 to an astounding £60.

     

    Aside from visits that emptied my student loan fund in the early 2000s to buy ‘Mother’s Ruin-esque’ gin that I now wouldn’t serve to even the barbarian bear slaying bitch Larysa Switlyk let alone my dearest friends, I especially remember having to walk over to Lord’s on Christmas Day last with a chain smoking twit of a girl from Tunbridge Wells. She would have been utterly unremarkable in any other circumstance, but was so desperate for cigarettes that she was ridiculously in a torrent of uncontrollable tears.

     

    Said spoilt Norah Docker-esque madam was astounded at the £18 price per twenty fags, but promptly handed me the bill for the four packs she claimed to require. I cannot say I’ll actually miss the ludicrousness of Lord’s after that after that expensive Christmas ‘gift’ to a completely pointless person, but, late at night when they eventually return, where will all the ‘gulfies’ go for their late-night fixes now that this shabby shithole of a store has been finally killed off by a combination of coronavirus and its no doubt very greedy landlord?

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

     

    The (Loss) of Locked-Up Lord’s – Lord’s Food & Wine, 209 Brompton Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 2EJ closes for good – EXCLUSIVE – Matthew Steeples reports on coronavirus and the lack of Arabic arrivals killing off Knightsbridge’s most expensive convenience store, Lord’s Food & Wine of Brompton Road.
    The (Loss) of Ludicrous Lord’s – On Wednesday evening, for the first time in decades, the shelves of the most overpriced ‘convenience’ store in Britain were stripped bare.
    The (Loss) of Locked-Up Lord’s – Lord’s Food & Wine, 209 Brompton Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 2EJ closes for good – EXCLUSIVE – Matthew Steeples reports on coronavirus and the lack of Arabic arrivals killing off Knightsbridge’s most expensive convenience store, Lord’s Food & Wine of Brompton Road.
    The (Loss) of Ludicrous Lord’s – The last feedback from one-time customers on the very own website of Lord’s Food & Wine, 209 Brompton Road, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 2EJ before it finally closed forever was hardly positive.

  • The Calamities Carrie On

    The Calamities Carrie On

    Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group

    When she’s not furiously texting 25 missives per hour to her lapdog on-off lover Boris Johnson or forcing him to get rid of his puppet master Dominic Cummings, Carrie Symonds finds time to be a senior advisor and member of staff at Oceana – a curiously funded operation that describes itself as “the largest international advocacy organisation focused solely on ocean conservation.”

     

    Fascinatingly, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell also has links to Oceana and hosted a cocktail party for their benefit at her East 65th Street residence in 2008 according to The Cut even.

     

    Jailbird paedo procurer Maxwell’s interest in the oceans is well-known via her now defunct TerraMar Project – which operated with the motto: “Sea Hope. Sea Change. Sea Future” and is now being accused of allegedly being part of her and Epstein’s trafficking activities – but, today, we remind readers that the British Prime Minister’s wine chucking latest baby mama has other curious connections.

     

    In October 2019, The Steeple Times followed up on The Sun’s story of Symonds’ “emotionally charged” and “tumultuous” previous relationship with a character named Oliver Haiste and revealed his connections to a curious Russian hoax news operation and association with members of the extremely bigoted, far-right Traditional Britain Group.

     

    ‘The Lady Macbeth of Downing Street’ may well think she won against Cummings as he marched out of Downing Street Street with his box last night, but here was just the first skirmish of a battle. The true war is yet to come and whether ‘Conniving Carrie’ and her cretinous clown will still be in residence by Christmas remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure next: Red wine on the sofa at the ready, The Carrie On Show is most certainly going to most unpleasantly kick off very, very soon.

     

    Pictured top: Ghislaine Maxwell supporting Oceana in 2008; Carrie Symonds – the very same organisation’s employee in 2020.

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    The Calamities Carrie On – Carrie Symonds & Ghislaine Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover named Oliver Haiste (also spelt ‘Haste’) with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group.
    The Calamities Carrie On – The Prime Minister’s on-off spouse Carrie Symonds’ biography on the Oceana website.
    The Calamities Carrie On – Carrie Symonds & Ghislaine Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover named Oliver Haiste (also spelt ‘Haste’) with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group.
    The Calamities Carrie On – The Traditional Britain Group, of which the preposterously named convicted thief Gregory Lauder-Frost is vice president, itself is opposed to feminism. It also believes in “the heterosexual family” but is against “immigration and multiculturalism” as well as “internationalism… globalisation… communism… socialism… liberalism… anarchism… political correctness… the purely materialist conception of life… [and] all the great heresies of our age.” Repugnant Lauder-Frost once disgustingly referred to Baroness Lawrence, mother of the murdered teenager Stephen Lawrence, as “a complete nobody” and once demanded “people not of ‘European stock’ should be offered ‘assisted voluntary repatriation’ to their ‘natural’ homeland.”
    The Calamities Carrie On – Henry Hopwood-Phillips, when not attempting but failing to create hoax Russian news sites with Carrie Symonds’ ex Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), spends time getting involved with the bigoted Traditional Britain Group and making bizarre music videos on YouTube. He charmingly also stands accused of flashing his “tumescent member” by a blogger named Claire Khaw.
  • Word of the Week – Coronacoaster

    Word of the Week – Coronacoaster

    As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions

    Shared on Instagram by Emma Farah, our word of the week had to be ‘coronacoaster.’

    Defined as a noun meaning “the ups and downs of the pandemic. One day you’re loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going out for long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and missing people you don’t even like.”

    Elsewhere on Medium.com in an article titled ‘Riding the coronacoaster,’ a Houston based therapist named Kirsten Suleman suggested the word to mean: “The ups and downs of a pandemic; the feeling of uncertainty, anxiety, and helplessness surveying news and information concerning humankind’s possible demise from COVID-19” and now as England likely faces lockup-lockdown again courtesy of the bumbling, bungling buffoon ‘Bosie The Clown,’ here is a rollercoaster that nobody is going to welcome.

     

    Whilst Suleman suggests people take up “journaling” in “spiral notebooks,” we prefer the alternative suggestion of gin so today here are a few of our favourites that you should add to your lockup-lockdown drinks trolley.

     

    No. 3 Gin London Dry

    Word of the Week – Coronacoaster – Combat it with gin – As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions. No. 3 London Dry, Fishers Gin, Gilpin’s Westmorland Strength, Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength, Beefeater.

    The only gin in the world crafted by someone with a PhD in gin and owned by the world’s finest wine merchants, Berry Bros & Rudd.

    Fishers Gin

    Word of the Week – Coronacoaster – Combat it with gin – As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions. No. 3 London Dry, Fishers Gin, Gilpin’s Westmorland Strength, Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength, Beefeater.

    This “authentic [44% ABV] coastal spirit” has notes of samphire and bog myrtle. Hints of salt shine through. It’s a catch and once reeled in, it’ll become a keeper.

    Gilpin’s Westmorland Extra Dry

    Word of the Week – Coronacoaster – Combat it with gin – As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions. No. 3 London Dry, Fishers Gin, Gilpin’s Westmorland Strength, Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength, Beefeater.

    47% ABV, from the Lake District and featuring a fresh aroma balanced with a dry yet bitter resinous taste. Not for the faint hearted.

    Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength

    Word of the Week – Coronacoaster – Combat it with gin – As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions. No. 3 London Dry, Fishers Gin, Gilpin’s Westmorland Strength, Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength, Beefeater.

    Packs a punch and personifies the marvelous character of the late, great Martin Miller – its truly Dickensianally rakish creator.

    Beefeater

    Word of the Week – Coronacoaster – Combat it with gin – As we face the next lockup-lockdown, a new word that will come to greater prominence is “coronacoaster” – ride it at your peril and instead try out our gin suggestions. No. 3 London Dry, Fishers Gin, Gilpin’s Westmorland Strength, Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength, Beefeater.

    The perfect ‘everyday gin’ (if you can’t find any of the above).

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  • Schofe Banned

    Schofe Banned

    As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host ‘Schofe’ have another meltdown as a result?”

    Whilst nobody was surprised when Bangladesh, Egypt, India, Iran, Kenya, Kuwait, Liberia, Malaysia, Pakistan, Senegal, Singapore, Sri Lanka and Thailand amongst others banned The Satanic Verses in 1988 for supposed blasphemy against Islam, news that Phillip Schofield’s memoirs have been outlawed from sale in Wales might actually surprise.

     

    Though no doubt an affront to literature in terms of the quality and relevance of its content, an image of Schofield’s recently released Life’s What You Make It in a taped off section of a Tesco store in Cardiff appeared yesterday in The Sun. Appropriately, however, given the shocking reviews the tome has deservedly received, a notice was pinned to the shelving stating: “We are unable to sell non-essential items at this time.”

     

    We’re left wondering: Did ‘Schofe’ hit his “only fit for the bin” boxed wine as a result? If so, we can only pity those dealing with his hangover this morning.

     

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    Schofe Banned – Phillip Schofield memoirs banned in Wales – As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host have another meltdown as a result?”
    Schofe Banned – With his memoirs banned from sale in supermarkets in Wales and his boxed wine rubbished as “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena,” ‘Schofe’ no doubt had another temper tantrum. Poor lamb.
    As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host ‘Schofe’ have another meltdown as a result?”
    Schofe Banned – D. H. Lawrence’s ‘Lady Chatterley’s Lover’ was banned from sale in the United Kingdom for violation of obscenity laws. The ban was lifted in 1960 and one is now left wondering how long Phillip Schofield’s tome will remain on a list of banned books for.