Fashion fruitcake Alexa Chung arrogantly announces that she has no interest in anything other than “endless parties” in “post-pandemic” times
Whilst over 100,000 people may have died from coronavirus in Britain to date, this morning, the Guardian’s Jess Cartner-Morley shared that alien-to-all-of-this Alexa Chung – a weird wench who once merged her entire name into one hashtag, #ALEXACHUNG – has announced that her priority is not helping others, but instead getting her glad rags on when the pandemic is over.
In response to a WhatsApp message from Cartner-Morley, fresh from running up debts of £2.3 million in 2020, ex-Big Mouth Chung supposedly, without a thought for those already gone and others on their deathbeds, ridiculously replied:
“When I think about life post-pandemic, all I can think about is endless parties… [I will be in] eye-wateringly short bodycon dresses – I may need matching knickers – and high heels.”
NHS staff and key workers will no doubt also be delighted to learn of Chung’s latest pearl and once again: “Thanks, Alexa” will resonate throughout the land.
Descriptions of Alexa Chung
By herself:
- “Starlet.”
- “Human.”
- “Fashion brand.”
- “Queen of Instagram.”
- “It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
- “I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
- “I have an emotional connection with other people.”
- “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
- “I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
- “[Modelling] warped my reality.”
By Lily Waddell of the Mail on Sunday:
- “Fashion royalty.”
- “The belle of the ball.”
- “The biggest designer name of the moment.”
- “A style maven.”
- “A starlet.”
- “A fashion genius.”
By Niomi Harris of the MailOnline:
- “Usually cuts a stylish figure at showbiz bashes.”
- “Stunning.”
- “Allows her dress to do the talking.”
By Kayleigh Giles of the MailOnline:
- “Sits front row at almost every major Fashion Week show.”
- “Stylish.”
- “Star.”
By Anna Wintour:
- “A phenomenon.”
By The Sun’s Simon Boyle:
- “Miserable, snooty model.”
- “Galling.”
- “Ridiculous.”
- “Does naff all.”
- “Stuck-up socialite.”
- “Believes she knows better.”
- “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her line.”
- “Don’t go into business with a pretentious model [like Alexa Chung], there’s a lesson for you.”
