Friday, January 15, 2021
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Hero of the Hour – Andy from Argos

Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house on New Year’s Day whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple.

Wally of the Week – Thomas Dodd (AKA Céline Dion)

That the ‘Mirror’ focused on the non-story of a man changing his name to Céline Dion to start 2021 is beyond ridiculous.

Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham

Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a public park in Lytham, Lancashire.

Murky McCanns Yet Again Meddle

Latest PR spin from anonymous “friend” of Gerry and Kate McCann is plainly simply part of yet another attempt to get more cash to top up the £12 million already wasted.

Wally of the Week – Mike Alan

“International magician” Mike Alan goes mental with a cucumber after alleging a “razor sharp” M&S shelf “savaged” his coat and left him “looking like a snowman.”

Heroine of the Hour – Micheline Stephen

Ninety-year-old daily martini drinker Micheline Stephen of Cupar, Scotland is to be saluted for grabbing a robber and calling him “a wee sh*te.”

The World’s Worst McMansion – It’s So Bad, It’s Good

New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good.

Thinking 2022

Event promoter The Mansion London bizarrely gives up on the coming New Year and begins promoting an event to welcome in 2022 instead.

No. 5 - Get Menendez Out of The Hole

As Erik Menendez is undeservedly thrown in ‘the hole’ in the most ludicrous fashion in California, Matthew Steeples suggests it is time both him and his equally abused brother Lyle were finally released.

A Grand Greek Revival

Grand Greek Revival mini-mansion in Illinois goes on sale for just £35 per square foot in spite of having been mostly renovated; it is situated within an area colonised by utopian Swedish Janssonists.

Most Read

MacBook Maxwell

Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers demand she gets access to a laptop seven days per week; one can assume she’ll expect a ritzy MacBook Pro.

Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey

Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.

Theresa The Tea Leaf

Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris).

Lock Him Up 2021!

Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”