Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Wally of the Week 2021 – Mandy Selhurst

Roundabout ranter Mandy Selhurst plainly has nothing better to do than moan about wildflowers others would find wonderful; here is a traffic twerp with too much time on her hands

Somebody ought to gift artist Mandy Selhurst a copy of Kevin Beresford’s 2004 book, Roundabouts of Great Britain. It’d keep her occupied for eons and it is something that she could go round and round and round and round again looking at.

 

When not painting plainly perfectly acceptable “semi abstract seascapes and landscapes,” Selhurst is a woman whom spends her days worrying about wildflowers that she considers are “blighting” two roundabouts in Bridport, Dorset. And worry, she bloody does.

 

Whilst most would welcome nature being allowed to blossom and plants that encourage birds and bees to pollinate and thrive, Selhurst took up the subject with the Bridport & Lyme Regis News first in April this year. At the time, she began by remarking:

 

“[The first roundabout] could be such a welcome. But it isn’t. Both roundabouts are a neglected disappointment long term.”

 

“Planting of low-level shrubs, colourful flowers, maybe some boulders to give a rockery effect would make such a difference to the first impressions of our lovely town to all of us ‘locals’ and to visitors.”

 

Last week, the clear obsessive crackpot returned to the subject and, having plainly achieved nothing with her first rant, penned a lengthier complaint to another paper, the Dorset Echo, on the subject. It read:

 

“Again, I am writing to my local paper. And again, it’s about THAT roundabout.”

 

“Wildflowers? No. Surely not. They are wonderfully welcome in so many different places, but not on a roundabout.”

 

“Shame on Dorset Council that they can’t come up with something a little more thoughtful than that.”

 

“As for saying that anything – as suggested by Bridport Town Council, aesthetically pleasing – might be a possible distraction to motorists, let me say that a cheap, quick fix of a few packets of seeds will surely fill motorists with surprise and disappointment.”

 

“I can only hope that next year, when the roundabout reverts to the responsibility of Highways England, that perhaps something more in keeping will emerge.”

 

“Bridport, and that crucial location, deserves more of an effort. Something eye-catching in the shape of structure, form, colour, whatever. Wildflowers here? No. A total waste of their impact.”

 

Reactions to this diatribe of drivel on the Facebook group Angry People in Local Newspapers were predictable. Echoing the mockery of the Tesco shopper who got in a tizzy over shelf movements in February, clearly “triggered” Selhurst was dubbed “Mandy… The new Karen” and told: “Sounds like [she] hasn’t had her lithium today.”

 

With other responses numbering “Blimey, what a miserable woman,” “what a bellend” and “somebody needs to get a life,” another quite rightly pointed out that we should: “Say no to wildlife! Nothing like bee death and grey concrete to start the day off right, eh Mandy?”

 

‘Miserable Mandy’ clearly has both a lot of time on her hands and utterly no conception of the real problems affecting Britain and beyond. “It really makes me wonder what sad purposeless life someone would have to complain about wildflowers,” a lady named Tone Grina concluded.

 

Five roundabouts ‘Miserable Mandy’ might actually like…

Given our Wally of the Week has a clear obsession about roundabouts, she could perhaps take herself on a world tour and perhaps use her passion for painting to document such. Here, we share five unusual examples that should pique her interest and which she could quite easily document on canvas.

 

The Double-Whopper Burger, Rotterdam, Netherlands

Double Whopper Burger

The Stoned Car, Sydney, Australia

Stoned car roundabout

Water, Water Everywhere… But Not A Drop To Drink, Ypres, Belgium

Water roundabout

Booked But Not Ticketed, Nizwa, Oman

Booked roundabout

Roundabout Wars, Scarborough, Yorkshire, United Kingdom

War roundabout

Reactions to ‘Roundabout Ranter’ Mandy Selhurst on the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’

Mandy Selhurst Angry People in Local Newspapers 1
Mandy Selhurst Angry People in Local Newspapers 2
Mandy Selhurst Angry People in Local Newspapers 3
Mandy Selhurst Angry People in Local Newspapers 4
Mandy Selhurst Angry People in Local Newspapers 5
Mandy Selhurst Angry People in Local Newspapers 6
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Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

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