Matthew Steeples suggests “poison pen” Isabel Oakeshott’s career prospects now belong in nowhere but a slurry pit; he highlights an encounter with her and argues she has disgraced the journalistic profession
On the evening in question, I found myself invited by the charming folk at Quiller Publishing – a house whose owner once told me his firm was more used to publishing books on ferrets and fox hunting than pomposity and politicians – to a rather ritzy party at Carlton House Terrace for the publication of the now late Stuart Wheeler’s excellent autobiography, Winning Against The Odds: My Life in Gambling and Politics.
Gathered for the occasion, aside from the tycoon’s glamorous daughters, were, amongst others, members of the Aspinall family and the ever vivacious Neil and Christine Hamilton. I was perhaps a ‘rarity’ in being a Remainer in a room crammed to the brim with Brexiteers and on arrival I found the then Sky News presenter Lewis Goodall outside and not even allowed in.
As the nemesis of Boris and Carrie ‘Princess NutNut’ Johnson that is Dominic Cummings – himself a little less known than he later became after his COVID-19 lockdown breaking Barnard Castle jaunt in March 2020 – interviewed Wheeler on stage, one person caught my eye. There before me, amongst a room of ‘party appropriate’ outfits, stood a little blonde number in her clearly grubby gym kit.
I asked the friend accompanying me: “Did the Lycra-clad woman think she’d been invited to Barry’s Bootcamp?” and after being met with a curt: “She clearly takes style advice from Katie Price” in response, saw the woman concerned turn. Realising it was Isabel Oakeshott, I guess neither of us should have been surprised.
Oakeshott, it has now become incredibly clear, is a woman who doesn’t do ethics as much as she doesn’t do fashion. A journalist is not a journalist if they don’t do all they can to protect their sources and though Matt Hancock is a man truly and very much utterly deservedly loathed, the fact that Oakeshott has betrayed her source is beyond contemptible.
Pompous to her core, as was illustrated when she threw a hissy fit and stormed out of an interview with Cathy Newman for Times Radio yesterday, Oakeshott will now find it very hard to continue in the profession she claims to be a leading figure in. She is, I’d argue, nothing but a traitor and a disgrace.
Why anyone would want to talk to the fake news muckspreader who told porky pies about David Cameron’s sexual shenanigans with a pig was already in question prior to what Oakeshott has been touting as the #lockdownfiles, but today – rather like her boyfriend Tice’s political ambitions – it’s this Gordonstoun educated gobshite who will find her career prospects deservedly headed nowhere but to pigsh*t.
Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.
Pictured Top – The ‘poison pen’ not a ‘journalist’ with the Health Secretary turned ‘I’m A Celebrity’ contestant she opted to so outrageously betray.
Recently on the BBC’s ‘Daily Politics,’ former Home Secretary Jacqui Smith told Isabel Oakeshott to “shut up” during a discussion. The TalkTV host then banged on about “civility in politics” and raged: “In eleven years of live TV, nobody has told me to ‘shut up’ and you can get worse than that. I get worse online, but it isn’t setting a high standard.” Smith responded: “I apologise, I apologise for telling you to ‘shut up,’ but I don’t think I spat.” Whilst Smith could have been more dignified in her communication, the ultimate ‘shouter-downer’ was most definitely the Brexiteer bore.Pictured here with the ‘Bad Boys of Brexit’ she has been so enthusiastic about – Aaron Banks, Richard Tice and Nigel Farage – here is a mother of three who has been deservedly called out for her inappropriate antics whilst writing about David Cameron and countless others.In September 2019, ‘The Steeple Times’ condemned Oakeshott as a “fake news creator” and shared a reader submitted photograph of her next to the “lapdance loving MP” John Whittingdale.In August 2019, ‘The Steeple Times’ shared an image of Brexiteer Richard Tice buying yellow stickered salmon at Waitrose in Belgravia. We asked: “What next? Chlorinated American chicken?” and suggested he find another yellow sticker… That yellow sticker? ‘Bollocks to Brexit.’Oakeshott’s ‘story’ about David Cameron having “allegedly perfomed a sex act involving a dead pig” unsurprisingly “caused controversy on publication.” She was subsequently forced to concede “her source could have been ‘deranged.’”
Whilst Cardinal (John) Henry Newman got made a saint, Carrie Johnson’s Abba dancing buddy Henry Newman has been binned and turfed out with the rubbish
Oxford University educated Cardinal John Henry Newman was canonised as a saint in the Catholic Church in October 2019. Meanwhile earlier that year, his namesake, a spad of plainer birth but of the same alma mater, “discretely charmed by the bourgeoisie” Henry John Newman, got himself elevated when his Abba dancing partner, Carrie Johnson, got her clammering claws on the keys to the nation’s second most famous home, 10 Downing Street.
Now, whilst supposedly “sublimated homosexual” Saint John Henry Newman C.O. – despite having being dead for 132 years – is considered a “national treasure” and described as “the first English saint of the modern era” according to The Tablet, his openly gay namesake was this weekend turfed out of Downing Street with the rubbish.
Gone for Brexiteer ‘Bin Boy’ Henry Newman – who was bizarrely photographed pointing at bags of refuse in Camden in 2017 whilst standing to become a councillor – will be the days of quaffing booze on the terrace of the half acre garden behind the official residences of the Prime Minister and the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Now, instead, this graduate also of equally fabled institutions including Harvard and the London School of Economics, will have to pleasure himself with a pint in a pub in The Marquis of Granby after days working in the less salubrious surrounds of Marsham Street back with his supposed sometime flatmate Michael Gove.
According to the Daily Mail’s Andrew Pierce this morning, Newman was so important to Carrie Johnson that the Prime Minister allowed him to celebrate his 38th birthday last summer – hardly a milestone of any note – with a lavish bash at Chequers, the grace-and-favour residence intended for entertaining visiting statesmen and international dignitaries.
“It turned out to be a very high-spirited affair,” Pierce reported, with “Housing Secretary Michael Gove riding pillion as Boris Johnson took him on a joy-ride on his second-hand Yamaha motorcycle around the grounds. Gove clasped his hands around Boris’s ample waist as they nudged speeds of 55mph, while Newman – clutching a flute of champagne – laughed and cheered.”
Gone now are such privileges and gone also is Newman’s desk close to Boris Johnson’s study and instead this alleged “Chatty Rat” – if we are to believe Dominic Cummings – “has been banished to work with his former mentor Gove at his departmental HQ a 15-minute walk away in Marsham Street.” This once influential spad – whom once suggested on Facebook: “[What I’m] thinking [is that] this country needs is a new taskforce” – it appears, has been disposed just like a binbag full of stinking, rotten fish.
For Newman, this downgrade will no doubt seem heartless and unfair, but, as Pierce added: “It was [his] intimate relationship with Mrs Johnson that has proved his undoing.” He now faces likely criticism into what went on with ‘Partygate’ in Sue Gray’s report and as the journalist concluded: “There will be fewer cosy chats in the Downing Street flat in the future.”
Elsewhere, in a ‘Comment’ piece this morning, The Sun declared: “Only time will tell if the ‘greased piglet’ [Boris Johnson’ left it too late to escape” slaughter by his very own party. They neglected to remark on how it will continue to go from bad to worse for his spendaholic, power crazed wife ‘Carrie Antoinette’ now that she’s lost “her rock” and equivalent of Paul Burrell to the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
A fan of wearing beanie hats that declare: “Let’s get Brexit done,” here is a young man who taught politics at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS), after studying at the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics. Henry Newman reportedly then “cut his teeth” working in the Cabinet Office during the coalition government years and then joined Michael Gove’s entourage in the Ministry of Justice after he was appointed as the Lord Chancellor in 2015.Aside from having travelled to Russia in his youth, Henry Newman joined the Vote Leave campaign during the 2016 referendum campaign and, according to ‘The Telegraph’ “was among a close circle of Mr Gove’s friends who were said to have helped to convince him to ‘knife’ Mr Johnson and torpedo his bid for the Tory leadership by deciding to run himself.” Later, a director of the pro-Brexit Open Europe think-tank, Newman was then rewarded for being “loyal” to his wine chucking bestie Carrie Symonds when Boris Johnson came to power.
‘Bin Boy’ Henry Newman’s words of wisdom on Facebook…
“Is drunk.”
“Is opening an organic box.”
“Is discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie.”
“Is drowning in honey, stingless.”
“Once you kill a cow you gotta make a burger.”
“Wondering if he is really a top concern for US immigration.”
“Waiting for Jacqui Smith to resign.”
“Is dancing, dancing, dancing… Is listening to rumba in W. Hartford… Is dancing in the dark… Is missing dancing.”
“Is listening to the Stones while the economy collapses.”
“Is watching his tan fall off.”
“Hates people who don’t know how to use a rowing machine.”
“Is thinking what this country needs is a new taskforce.”
Descriptions of Henry Newman by…
Boris Johnson:
“One of my three musketeers.”
Carrie Symonds:
“One of my four favourite people.”
Toby Young:
“He is a new role model… If you were a [politics show] booker who had to find someone… Newman was the only name on your Rolodex.”
“As the oxygen went out of Theresa May’s premiership, and her withdrawal agreement began to breathe its last, the great balloon of his career became more and more inflated.”
Dominic Cummings:
“All the evidence [regarding the second lockdown leak] definitely leads to Henry Newman… I’m just trying to get the communications data to prove it.”
An unnamed “senior government source”:
“The allegations against Henry Newman are entirely false. He wouldn’t be working in Downing Street if he was suspected of leaking information.”
An unnamed “Downing Street insider” to The Mail on Sunday:
“This is the man who did more than anyone to encourage Michael [Gove] to stab Boris in the back.”
“But he’s used his relationship with Carrie to ingratiate himself back into the inner circle. He’s always up in the flat with her, and that gives him direct access to the PM. The rest of the No. 10 team have no idea what he’s saying to him. And that’s the root cause of a lot of this.”
Newman’s childish Facebook posts are not indicative of someone of academic note and his rise through government should be questioned as a result. Did he get there because of merit or simply because he was a ‘FOC’ (‘Friend of Carrie’)? The answer seems very, very clear.Henry Newman, like fellow mouthy sorts such as Diane Abbott, Jay Beecher and Owen Jones, likes to pontificate and peddle, but when called out, he simply hits the block button. Hardly the actions of someone who would like to think himself an able debater at the Oxford Union and more those of someone ‘trained’ by the wine chucking harpy Carrie Johnson.
Is overindulged prig Carrie Johnson about to be thrown under the bus along with her Abba loving groupies Henry Newman and Josh Grimstone? Is this the end of the road for ‘Carrie On Regardless’?
It seems Carrie Johnson could be about to receive a dose of her own medicine and possibly a summons to speak to the Metropolitan Police even also.
“What Carrie wants, Carrie gets” is supposedly a mantra that the Prime Minister’s wife and those around her operate by and until now, the former Miss Symonds has got everything she desires. Be it £30,000 of organic nosh from Lady Bamford’s Daylesford Organic, £840 a roll wallpaper grubbily grabbed from Lulu Lytle’s frankly ghastly emporium and £2,900 a pop gowns by fashion designer Christos Costarello, here is an overindulged modern day Marie Antoinette whose extravagance knows no bounds.
Prone prior to moving to Downing Street to chucking red wine over sofas and dancing to Abba with her ‘Chatty Rat’ clatterfart chum Henry Newman – whom she has described as “one of my four favourite people” – the current Mrs Johnson was this morning dragged deeper into the mire that is ‘Partygate,’ the Mail on Sunday reported.
According to an unnamed source who spoke to the paper’s Glen Owen and Dan Hodges, on the night of Dominic Cummings’ departure on 13th November 2020: “There was the sound of lots of banging and dancing and drinking, and a number of Abba tracks – including a triumphalist Winner Takes It All.”
Going further, the Mail on Sunday added: “The Metropolitan Police could now investigate the party as part of its probe, and call on Mrs Johnson to provide written evidence.”
“Civil servants in the building at the time were advised by officials to go to the Downing Street flat to apologise for not sufficiently supporting the Prime Minister’s then-fiancée. ‘They were ordered to go up and kiss the ring,’ one said.”
Pictured top – Obsessed with nobody but himself Boris Johnson and his overindulged current wife, Carrie, deserve to be derided. Whilst ordinary people were unable to see their relatives even due to the lockdowns his government forced upon them, these two cretins partied on regardless.
The former Carrie Symonds previously worked for Oceana, a charity with strong links to the now convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell, in the past and has links to individuals connected to the far-right Traditional Britain Group. Her shockingly poor judgment is clearly worthy of question.The Prime Minister’s wife counts alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ and Abba fanatic Henry Newman as her “best friend,” according to Dominic Cummings. When the possibility of having to fire him over leaks arose, Boris Johnson reportedly said: “If Newman is confirmed as the leaker then I will have to fire him, and this will cause me very serious problems with Carrie as they’re best friends… [pause] perhaps we could get the Cabinet Secretary to stop the leak inquiry?”‘Princess Nut Nut’ – as she has also been deservedly branded – invited only a few guests to her wedding to Boris Johnson. Amongst them was “Tory hunk” Josh Grimstone. The ‘Court of Carrie’ is all about control and this 28-year-old “top-notch aide” was rewarded rather nicely in spite of being someone known best for just taking his top off. Grimstone is on a pay packet of between £80,000 and £84,999, according to Cabinet Office records.Boris Johnson protests too much about whether he partied or not. That he has now tried to have Dame Cressida Dick and the Metropolitan Police try and slow down the process of the investigation into ‘Partygate’ speaks volumes about his clear lack of a moral compass. That his current wife is now being dragged into this is evidence that he’d literally throw anyone under the bus to save his own sorry skin.
The Prime Minister’s puppet mistress Carrie Johnson’s latest PR spin campaign yet again illustrates her deviancy suggests Matthew Steeples
Let’s be frank: Carrie Symonds (AKA ‘Princess Nut Nuts,’ ‘Carrie Antoinette’ and ‘Costly Carrie’) is famous simply for being Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama, but now she’s well and truly upping her antics and most definitely wants a hell of a lot more.
This weekend, this wine chucking wench and one half of ‘The Convenient Catholic Couple’ used the G7 summit to implant not only herself but also her child firmly into a convention where no other politician foisted their brats into the photo ops. Here was a woman with one agenda: Making herself the centre of attention.
In addition, the new Mrs Boris Johnson plainly made a point of getting Downing Street spin doctors to share that she hadn’t actually bought costly clothes, but instead hired them. Was this something the public actually needed to know at an event that was meant to be about discussing global issues? I think not, but Carrie, desperate to rid herself of the ‘Antoinette’ moniker she so deserves after bingeing on expensive Daylesford delicacies, will PR on regardless.
What’s “in” for Carrie Symonds…
“Chatty rat” Henry Newman singing ABBA and dancing the tango with this particularly bonkers bestie.
Dining dashes to Daylesford (courtesy of ‘Lady Doors To Manual’ Carole Bamford’s credit card).
“Borrowed clothing” to suggest she’s “ordinary.”
Pushing her child into any photo opportunity possible so as to make a point that her kid is more important than her hubby’s other legitimate and illegitimate brats.
What’s “out” for Carrie Symonds…
Anything from “nightmarish” John Lewis. Too “Theresa Maybe Not” for our Carrie, of course.
Anything connected with her number one hater, Dominic Cummings, can take a trip to Barnard Castle via a visit to SpecSavers.
Anybody who dares to criticise the antics of her out of control dog, Dilyn will make her “go crackers” … Don’t dare make Carrie “furious” with even a single remark – even if the dastardly dog pisses all over a visitor’s handbag.
Any talk of her associations with Ghislaine Maxwell and far right ex-boyfriends involved in the Traditional Britain Group.
In December 2020, ‘The Steeple Times’ highlighted: “Whilst Denis Thatcher happily took a back seat and parked himself in a corner with a stiff G&T and Norma Major steered clear of anything to do with curried eggs, Symonds is increasingly showing herself as the Lynda Snell of Downing Street.”Aside from her obsession with attention, the former Carrie Symonds counts working for a charity that was funded by the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell on her somewhat dodgy CV.The then Carrie Symonds with her then boyfriend Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), an alleged hoaxer of fake news about Russia according to the BBC. Of his then “public relations specialist” on-off lover, the ‘Mail on Sunday’ declared: “his own three-year relationship with the young woman at the centre of Britain’s latest political storm involved an electrifying dose of dramatic and often fiery conflict… ‘We had quite a tumultuous relationship,’ he admits today. ‘I found when times were good with Carrie they were great – they were fantastic. When times were bad they were awful. It was a highly passionate relationship. And I don’t mean that in a salacious, physical sense. I mean in terms of emotional context – very emotionally charged. It’s the most up and down relationship I have had,’ Haiste continues, choosing his words carefully. Today, describing their relationship for the first time, he paints an intriguing portrait of a ‘high-octane’ partnership with a woman as passionate as she is intelligent.”The Prime Minister’s spouse previously dated a man associated with spreading fake news whom was also involved in the Traditional Britain Group – a sick, far right organisation that has expressed a desire to hang Baroness Lawrence, the mother of a murder victim, from a tree. ‘Britain’s 3rd Loose Woman’ also partook in a play where she dressed as a crack whore whilst at university. Is this someone the nation really wants representing it on the world stage?
More money goes down the drain in the Madeleine McCann case on top of the £13.5 million of British taxpayer wonga chucked away on absolutely no results
This morning – continuing the pointless pattern of the Mirror and MailOnline to “note nothing new” in the case of ‘disappeared’ Madeleine McCann we highlighted last week – The Sun shared an “exclusive” about the investigation that frankly wasn’t worthy of a single column inch.
After beginning with the bashfully bold headline “Madeleine McCann’s parents to find out this year if they’ve won legal battle against ex-cop” Goncalo Amaral – whom currently is owed a “six-figure sum” believed to be circa £750,000 by Gerry and Kate McCann after he beat them in court in February 2017 – the paper then concluded without an actual “when” and the non-news that “the judges will now give a verdict by the end of the year.”
Of this diatribe of drivel, one could say: “Thanks for that,” but more realistically anyone rational would ask of The Sun instead: “Couldn’t you have asked your contributor to instead go looking for a missing person where there is a genuine chance of that person actually being found?”
Meanwhile, on Sunday, the Mirror – a red-top reliable for prattling on about “non-news” about a situation that could have been avoided perhaps if two doctors hadn’t left their toddlers unattended so they could live it up in a restaurant with their mates – shared that the prosecution team that named Christian Brueckner (AKA ‘Christian B’) exactly one year ago just as the British government began their ‘coronavirus distraction technique,’ have actually not spoken to Gerry and Kate McCann once during the ensuing period.
Asked if they had genuinely made any progress in the case, prosecutor Hans Christian Wolters “angrily hit back at critics” and illustrated the weakness of his work in declaring: “I don’t care who believes what… We are missing important important information. We want no stone unturned. Whether there will be an indictment in the end, I cannot foresee at the moment.”
The Mirror concluded: “Brueckner, serving seven years for raping a 72-year-old woman in Praia, has not been interviewed,” whilst elsewhere the Daily Record added Wolters pathetically offered: “Our appeal for witnesses still stands.” We respond: “Where on earth do you think these people are given the millions already offered in rewards that have never been claimed?”
Clearly, on top of the £13.5 million of British taxpayer money wasted on this case already, that’s another chunk of change down the drain whilst other families of missing people shamefully get little to no help at all. Enough is enough; it is time to close down the investigation into ‘missing’ Madeleine McCann.
— Madeleine Case Tweets🌐 (@McCannCaseTweet) March 8, 2018
Elsewhere on social media this weekend, the matter of Kate McCann being photographed with bruises on her wrists in the days after her daughter disappeared was again discussed. This tweet from 2018 was once again referenced.Christian Brueckner (AKA ‘Christian B’, pictured left with his ex-girlfriend Naskcije Miftari) was brought to public attention just as the British government began to suffer “very bad news days” at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic last year. The narrative of him being the evil, paedophile suited Boris Johnson’s government a treat as it helped shift the headlines – for a period – away from their appalling handling of initial lockdowns. This weekend, equally, Johnson has managed to do something similar by marrying his latest ‘baby mama’ Carrie Symonds and in doing so, cynics quite correctly argue that he has used the ‘distraction technique’ to get his bad week courtesy of Dominic Cummings off the front pages. Unsurprisingly, social media manipulated imagery from the wedding by using images such as those pictured (centre and right).
In December 2017, when £11 million of British taxpayers’ money had been spent towards the search for ‘missing’ Madeleine McCann, 86% of viewers of ITV1’s ‘Loose Women’ said the public purse should cease to fund the investigation. Now, in May 2021, with that sum at £13.5 million (aside from the millions in private money also), it is time to allocate resources to the search for missing people who actually can be found, we would suggest.
Nikolay Kalinin concludes that both Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s rotten regime come out of this week disgraced
Dominic Cummings’ questioning at the COVID select committee has undoubtedly provoked a tsunami of responses. Cummings branded the PM he once advised as “unfit for job” and condemned Matt Hancock by saying that he “should have been fired for at least 15, 20 things, including lying to everybody on multiple occasions.”
Cummings claimed during questioning that Hancock lied about people getting treatment during the summer and stated: “We were told explicitly people did not get the treatment they deserved, many people were left to die in horrific circumstances.”
Not only that, but Cummings also stated that Johnson did indeed say that he would rather “let the bodies pile high in their thousands” that enforce another lockdown. If true, this demonstrates that the Prime Minister is absolutely not fit to rule a country whose people he has put in peril as a result of his continued incompetence.
There is no denying that the response of government officials to Cummings’ accusations has been plainly childish, including the response of Liz Truss, who stated that she “hasn’t had time to look at it yet” but also then stated: “I’m not going to engage with the false claims that are being made today.”
Meanwhile, Peter Kyle, Labour MP for Hove has decided to try to kill two birds with one stone by releasing a PMQ video from 25th March 2020 where he told the PM about the lack of COVID tests available in his constituency and how long it took to deliver them, captioning it with the words “They knew. THEY KNEW!”
Not only has Cummings’ dropped a bomb on the government but on ‘Costly Carrie’ too. In stating that his resignation from the role of Chief Adviser was linked “to the fact that the prime minister’s girlfriend was trying to change a whole bunch of different appointments at Number 10 and appoint her friends to particular jobs” – which sounds like a totally legitimate claim, especially considering how desperate ‘BoJo’ was to defend Carrie’s friend Henry Newman who got exposed as the man who leaked info about a second lockdown.
A YouGov poll conducted after the questioning concluded that although 55% of people do not trust Boris Johnson and how he has painted the government’s handling of the pandemic, a whopping 75% do not trust Cummings’ claims. This is not surprising considering the fact that he was responsible for the deceptive propaganda of Vote Leave and its “£350 million for NHS” claim.
Another poll conducted by Survation has concluded that even after Cummings’ revelations, the Conservatives extended their lead over Labour by 11 points, which is extremely concerning, because this shows that more people would rather trust the words of a man who throughout this pandemic has demonstrated barely any decent leadership and whose utter idiocy has destroyed the lives of many.
Not only that, but this poll shows that the people of Britain seem more likely to support a man whose fiancé wants to undermine the democratic process on which this country stands on and replace it with a rotten regime and controlled cronyism.
It truly feels as if most of Britain’s population are in the ‘Cult of BoJo’ and cannot stop ignoring all the terrible things he and his lackeys have done. If this is the kind of country that we are destined to live in for the next few years, then I’d argue that we are truly doomed.
Dominic Cummings’ grilling this week told the public what they already knew about Boris Johnson’s rotten regime.Boris Johnson comes out of this sorry saga looking more and more like a puppet and one formerly controlled by Cummings and now most definitely in the clutches of his latest ‘baby mama,’ Carrie Symonds.The court of Carrie Symonds (pictured with her “chatty rat” bestie Henry Newman) holds more sway than anything else currently in the ear of our laughable, not laudable Prime Minister.
Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
Described on his ‘official’ YouTube channel in the comments section by some as “magical” and “one of his greatest hits” in spite of being frankly weird, a seriously strange video of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show is something that could sum up what could soon happen to Carrie Symonds next.
Focused on the lyrics “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” as the contemptible Christian crackpot ‘Cliffy’ croons in the mist outside a café-bar, the continuation with “Carrie used to live on the second floor… Sorry that she left no forwarding address… That was known to me, Carrie” could soon apply to Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama.
Quite deservedly under fire as to failing to explain who really funded payment of the vast £200,000 bill caused by Peter Jones loathing Miss Symonds’ demands for a quite unnecessary makeover of their perfectly habitable Downing Street flat, Boris Johnson – who still faces an ongoing inquiry also into who paid for the December 2019 Mustique holiday nearly 16 months later also – is on the ropes. Like Teflon, he may bat these investigations away, but with his “psychopath” nemesis – as some have branded him – Cummings having “gone rogue,” this time things are beginning to stick.
Of the imaginary ‘Carrie’ in the 1980 song – written by ‘Devil Woman’ songwriter Terry Britten – all-round oddity Sir Cliff told the Mail on Sunday in November 2008:
“It’s a mysterious song because you never really know what it’s about. A guy turns up in the neighborhood asking where Carrie is. The very last line goes: ‘Carrie doesn’t live, doesn’t live…’ You’re left thinking: ‘Is she dead? Has she been murdered?’”
Now, with public outrage turning up the heat in ‘Costly Carrie’s’ Westminster lair, will this ‘Modern Day Lady Macbeth’ puppet mistress ‘survive’ her “date with her own kind of fate”? Some might think that, but we couldn’t possibly comment.
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – The March 1980 screening of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show. Of the song, one fan, Tim Roxborough, cringeworthily declared: “Late 70s/early 80s songs like ‘Dreamin,’ ‘Carrie’ and ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ aren’t just hits, nor are they just catchy pop tunes. Vocally, Cliff is singing much higher and with far greater emotion and elasticity than what he did in the 50s and 60s. If you’re prejudiced, pretend ‘Carrie’ isn’t a Cliff Richard song and its hook, its groove, its paranoid lyrics and its clean production make it a worthy music cousin of Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine.’” We’d argue to the contrary: It’s frankly just creepy.Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds share a penchant for hooch and holidays. Equally, they both share a liking for making things up and being the centre of attention. Examples of such behaviour includes Miss Symonds’ temper tantrum over being called ‘Princess Nut Nut’ by Dominic Cummings and Sir Cliff’s “young man, go f**k yourself” rant after supposedly being “duped” into describing his own wine as “tainted and insipid” by Gordon Ramsay in June 2006.Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – The similarities between Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama and the creepy Christian crooner continue in the design department. Whilst Miss Symonds likes curious colour concoctions that wouldn’t look out of place in the home of Edina Monsoon in the comedy ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ (left), Sir Cliff favours décor decisions that would most definitely appeal to dictators and despots such as Saddam Hussein and Nicolae Ceaușescu (right).
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Both Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds take the attitude of the late, great Ian Richardson in the original (and better) television adaptation of Michael Dobbs’ ‘House of Cards’ and respond to any criticism with his infamous: “You might very well think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.” Perhaps, if Tory sleaze does indeed engulf his administration, puppet mistress Miss Symonds and her hapless hubby-to-be may find themselves forced into taking a very ‘Long Summer Holiday’ soon too.
Whilst only a few newspapers have delved into his political past, we today ask: “Who REALLY is the bestie of Carrie Symonds and alleged ‘Chatty Rat’ Henry Newman?”
In 2019, ‘Carrie Symonds’ bestie’ and supposed clatterfart Henry Newman described Dominic Cummings as “one of only a few political advisers who understands the importance of, and is truly committed to, reforming the Whitehall machine.” In April 2020, Cummings responded by branding Newman a leaker.
Now, as the media delve into the scandal of Boris Johnson’s hole riddled ship and he seeks to dissipate the disgrace of his decorating debacle, with Cummings’ intervention on Friday, elements of the media have begun to examine exactly who Henry Newman is.
Whilst widely referenced for dancing to ABBA with his longstanding chum Symonds and for being the go-to mouthpiece in support of Brexit during Theresa May’s “Brexit means Brexit” era, Newman should also go down in history for banging on about a need for fortnightly bin collections in Hampstead and Kilburn and for his somewhat bizarre Facebook ramblings.
On his wall on the social media site, former special adviser (SPAD) to Francis Maude and Michael Gove, Newman – a graduate of ritzy institutions including the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics – has shared posts about being drunk. He has remarked that he was once “discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie” and bragged that he even listened “to the Stones as the economy [collapsed].”
Tellingly also, this one-time “rising star” and “Goveite” also declared he was “drowning in honey, stingless” and, most appropriately, providing illustration of why Daylesford addict ‘Costly Carrie’ counts him as “one of her four favourite people,” once announced: “[I’m] opening an organic box.”
‘Henry The Bin Boy’Newman’s words of wisdom on Facebook…
“Is drunk.”
“Is opening an organic box.”
“Is discreetly charmed by the bourgeoisie.”
“Is drowning in honey, stingless.”
“Once you kill a cow you gotta make a burger.”
“Wondering if he is really a top concern for US immigration.”
“Waiting for Jacqui Smith to resign.”
“Is dancing, dancing, dancing… Is listening to rumba in W. Hartford… Is dancing in the dark… Is missing dancing.”
“Is listening to the Stones while the economy collapses.”
“Is watching his tan fall off.”
“Hates people who don’t know how to use a rowing machine.”
“Is thinking what this country needs is a new taskforce.”
Who is Henry Newman? Facebook posts by him give a clue to his personality.
Descriptions of Henry Newman by…
Boris Johnson:
“One of my three musketeers.”
Carrie Symonds:
“One of my four favourite people.”
Toby Young:
“He is new role model… If you were a [politics show] booker who had to find someone… Newman was the only name on your Rolodex.”
“As the oxygen went out of Theresa May’s premiership, and her withdrawal agreement began to breathe its last, the great balloon of his career became more and more inflated.”
Dominic Cummings:
“All the evidence [regarding the second lockdown leak] definitely leads to Henry Newman… I’m just trying to get the communications data to prove it.”
An unnamed “senior government source”:
“The allegations against Henry Newman are entirely false. He wouldn’t be working in Downing Street if he was suspected of leaking information.”
Who is Henry Newman? A fan of wearing beanie hats that declare: “Let’s get Brexit done,” here is a young man who taught politics at the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS), after studying at the University of Oxford, Harvard University and the London School of Economics. He reportedly then “cut his teeth” working in the Cabinet Office during the coalition government years and then joined Michael Gove’s entourage in the Ministry of Justice after he was appointed as the Lord Chancellor in 2015.Who is Henry Newman? Aside from having travelled to Russia in his youth, Newman joined the Vote Leave campaign during the 2016 referendum campaign and, according to ‘The Telegraph’ “was among a close circle of Mr Gove’s friends who were said to have helped to convince him to ‘knife’ Mr Johnson and torpedo his bid for the Tory leadership by deciding to run himself.” Later, a director of the pro-Brexit Open Europe think-tank, Newman was then rewarded for being “loyal” to Carrie Symonds when Boris Johnson came to power.Who is Henry Newman? Let’s not forget that this young man’s best friend Carrie Symonds was previously dating a man, Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), exposed by the BBC in October 2016 for a Russian fake news scandal and for his friendship with Henry Hopwood-Phillips, an individual involved in the far-right, racist Traditional Britain Group. Miss Symonds must be noted also for her having been employed by Oceana, an oceanic charity that Ghislaine Maxwell – the now incarcerated alleged mucky madam to Jeffrey Epstein – was also a tin banger for.
The extravagance of Carrie Symonds plainly knows no bounds; what ‘Costly Carrie’ wants, cost unconscious puppet mistress Carrie gets
‘Princess Nut Nut’ – AKA ‘Costly Carrie’ Symonds – will go down in history as Downing Street’s answer to Barbara Amiel. With an attitude to expenditure that makes she whose “extravagance knew no bounds” look meek, Boris Johnson’s puppet mistress has deservedly been criticised in recent days for her £200,000“monstrous” and “inappropriate” makeover of the flat occupied by the Prime Minister.
Now, with news that she’s topped her spendaholic lifestyle with over £12,500 of deliveries from ritzy Daylesford – owned by “lady doors to manual” Carole Bamford – during successive lockdowns, this utterly out-of-touch with ordinary folk woman is understandably being mocked and derided. Here is someone whose Imelda Marcos ways will ultimately make Cherie Blair seem like a comparative penny pincher.
Costly Carrie – Carrie Symonds definitely wields the power in Downing Street these days. Her drippy hubby-to-be Boris Johnson is nothing but a puppet, in fact.Costly Carrie – Aside from daily deliveries of expensive provisions from Lady Bamford’s ritzy Daylesford “farm shop” during the pandemic lockups, Symonds brought in the anything but cheap “celebrity eco designer” Lulu Lytle to eliminate the “John Lewis furniture nightmare” of the Theresa May era décor of the Prime Minister’s Downing Street private residence.
Angry magnifying glass carrying pensioner Tony Crook complains about “pensioners’ portions” of fish and chips being “obnoxious” in Barnard Castle – the land of Dominic Cummings’ famous eye test outing in 2020
Featured in the Angry People in Local Newspapers group on Facebook, one Tony Kelly of Crook, County Durham wrote to The Northern Echo to bleat about what he termed “so-called ‘pensioners’ portions’” of fish and chips last week.
Referencing that he’d been to a fish and chip shop with two friends – which would, of course, currently be a fineable act if it occurred during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – Mr Kelly monotonously moaned:
“We asked for pensioners’ portions. When they came, the quality was decent enough but the quantities were minuscule. You just about needed a magnifying glass to see the fish.”
“We went to the place hungry and came out even hungrier. Pensioners’ ruddy portions indeed.”
David Icke wannabe Mr Kelly, like his fellow eye-for-detail obsessive Dominic Cummings, has previous. In May 2019, this puerile pensioner extolled fluoride in North Eastern drinking water as “wholesome and beneficial” whilst in October 2018, he strangely suggested “grossly disturbed strata” would increase “the probability of earthquakes” in his neighbourhood.
Man-of-multiple-missives Tony Kelly’s latest letter follows in full:
AS a regular reader of Thursday’s ‘Eating Out’ page – but no expert when it comes to cafés – I’d like to warn other elderly readers about so-called ‘Pensioners’ portions.’ I’ve only ever tried them once and never again.
It was in Barnard Castle in a fish and chip shop, where I’d gone with two friends. Trying to err on the side of moderation, we asked for pensioners’ portions.
When they came, the quality was decent enough but the quantities were minuscule. You just about needed a magnifying glass to see the fish.
We went to the place hungry and came out even hungrier.
Pensioners’ ruddy portions indeed.
There seems to be an entrenched attitude in some quarters that you can fob old people off with anything – an attitude that is no less obnoxious for being more and more prevalent.
Tony Kelly, Crook.
Pensioners’ Portion Palaver 2021 – Barnard Castle had sight of enough eye issues in 2020 thanks to Dominic Cummings, but now, in 2021, Tony Kelly is turning “pensioners’ portions” into yet another beady-eyed drama with his magnifying glass.Pensioners’ Portion Palaver 2021 – In December 2017, Tony Crook wrote to ‘The Northern Echo’ to complain about the chief executive officer of Persimmon Homes receiving a £100 million bonus. “The whole thing stinks,” he suggested before adding: “Putrid, amoral, grotesque, outrageous and cynical” to his arsenal of anger.Pensioners’ Portion Palaver 2021 – In December 2016, Tony Kelly complained to ‘The Northern Echo’ about a rat “sloshing about” in his “adjacent toilet.” He wrote about he “promptly slammed the lid down, flushed and then put half a brick on the top” and then shared some very useful advice: “The moral? Always keep your toilet lid down, when not in use, especially if your toilet is downstairs like mine, and for double security, put a heavy weight on top. Obviously the incident was a very rare one, about as likely as a big lottery win. However, very unlikely things sometimes happen, and simple precautions are well worth taking. I reported the incident at the Civic Centre, in Crook, but was advised that pest control could do nothing and even if that were not the case would charge £40 for coming out.”
