Thursday, December 29, 2022

Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks

Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres

Last week, The Steeple Times featured the sale of the vast, Grade I listed, 33,106 square foot treasure Kinlet Hall and now, for the same sum, we share news of the sale of a 713 square foot apartment in London where you’d barely have enough room to swing a cat.

 

Priced at £3.5 million ($4.4 million, €3.9 million or درهم16.3 million) and situated within the controversial Chelsea Barracks development on the borders of Belgravia, the ground floor space offered consists of a 20-foot by 17-foot open-plan kitchen and reception room, a 12-foot by 11-foot bedroom and a shower room. Aside from that, you do get access to the 12.8-acre grounds and use of a residents’ ‘club’ where facilities number a swimming pool, gym, spa and cinema room.

 

Chelsea Barracks attracted public attention in a 2010 court case after Prince Charles termed a previous scheme for it by Lord Rogers “awful.” As a result of the royal’s “hand grenade,” that was dropped and now, instead, the developers, Qatari Diar Europe, somewhat ostentatiously laud their project as: “A city home… with the facilities of a country estate.”

 

For £4.85 million ($6.02 million, €5.36million or درهم22.10 million), an-ever-so-slightly larger 1,023 square foot ground floor apartment is offered also by agents Savills. It has a dressing room and an additional lavatory, but your extra wonga doesn’t get you much else. We’ll take two; NOT!

 

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Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks – £3.5m for minute apartment at Whistler Square, Chelsea Barracks, London, SW1W 8BT through Savills – Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.
The floor plan clearly illustrates that £3.5 million here buys you anything but a mansion. The asking price equates to a very punchy £4,909 per square foot.
Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks – £3.5m for minute apartment at Whistler Square, Chelsea Barracks, London, SW1W 8BT through Savills – Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.
The apartment is certainly compact and though lavishly appointed and “dressed by the renowned interior design studio Albion Nord,” has just one entertaining space (that is also merged with the kitchen).
Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks – £3.5m for minute apartment at Whistler Square, Chelsea Barracks, London, SW1W 8BT through Savills – Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.
There is one (just about) double bedroom. It does have views of a garden, but not much else.
Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks – £3.5m for minute apartment at Whistler Square, Chelsea Barracks, London, SW1W 8BT through Savills – Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.
There is a shower room, but not enough space for a bath. Those millionaires that love a long soak would do well to take their property search elsewhere.
Bonkers at Chelsea Barracks – £3.5m for minute apartment at Whistler Square, Chelsea Barracks, London, SW1W 8BT through Savills – Minute apartment in Chelsea Barracks with barely enough room to swing a cat goes on sale for the same price as a massive mansion in Shropshire with 102 acres.
Residents do, however, have access to a swimming pool and other leisure facilities. Whether anyone will actually use them is another thing, given most buyers will likely hardly ever be in residence.
A ‘brand film’ for the Chelsea Barracks development was uploaded to YouTube a year ago. It is quite beyond beyond bizarre and lauds the scheme as: “A heritage. A destiny. A legacy.” No mention of the likely ‘McMoneya-esque’ occupants the punchily priced properties will attract is, however, mentioned.
A video tour of ‘The Residences’ at Chelsea Barracks bangs on about the benefits of living in Belgravia and suggests the scheme to be inspired by “traditional garden squares” and that it will become a location of “future heritage.”
Another gushing video gives a tour of the Chelsea Barracks spa facilities. They have named it ‘The Garrison Club’ in homage to the site’s military past.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

6 COMMENTS

  1. I don’t think the developer realises that nobody will want this in the wake of coronavirus. People want their own front door and not to be in communal buildings. The estate agent must be having a giggle with this valuation!

  2. Sounds lovely if you are a stick insect!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You Poms are mental —– why would you pay £3.5 million smackers for that???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insane!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s barely bigger than a studio cupboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And probably going to only house rich immigrant shite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. COVID-19 will put a stop to this nonsense. People want their own front doors. These kind of places will go down in value. Too much risk of infection with all those people wandering around with their dirty hands.

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