Classic clangers from the last week
Leaving on a sour note
An American playboy asked his friend: “Other than not joining Al-Qaeda and going to jail, what do you regret?” at The Blue Bar at The Berkeley. His English companion’s response was simple: “Meeting you”. He got up and left.
Dogging the Italian
An estate agent in the bar at the Mandarin Oriental was overheard to comment: “I can’t bear Italian food. It’s disgusting. It’s for peasants”. His bemused Russian client answered: “You should try our food back home. It’s like dog food”. Delightful.
Two bleach blondes from Essex were sat in the bar at Harvey Nichols. The first stated: “Sex is not allowed at my house… If I haven’t know him for a month, he can’t f**k me at my house”. The second responded: “I have the opposite rule. Shagging on the first date is always an essential. Bring it on”. Classy.
Getting rid of nonsense
An American on her mobile in Starbuck’s in Sloane Avenue was heard to say: “Burma is the best place. I just saw it on The Huffington Post. No phones or networks. I am also going to stop emailing on weekends. I’ve also vowed to stick with going to cool restaurants only now. For me, it’ll be just Nobu, Coya and The Chiltern Firehouse. No more nonsense in my life. I’m keeping it simple, keeping it real”. If that’s simple, I’m Jack Robinson.
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