On Yer Bike Nige

As Nigel Farage ludicrously suggests Britain is “a country of doubtful democratic legitimacy” (in spite of it giving him the Brexit he so desired this very year), we join those suggesting that this furious Firestarter is still very welcome to leave

“This incident has confirmed my worst fears about the country Britain is becoming” wrote Nostradamus-like Nigel Farage in The Telegraph on Tuesday evening. The same Farage, that is, that was celebrating Boris Johnson and Brexit on 31st January in Parliament Square; the same Farage who finally had the Darling Buds of May mixed with Last of the Summer Wine pastiche version of Britain he has for so long dreamt of.

 

Farage, at that moment, was “optimistic” and “celebrating the free world” and whilst braying about his dream having finally come true, boldly went as far as to state: “This is the greatest moment ever in the history of our great nation.”

 

Now, it’s all gone so horribly wrong. After having a visit from the police as a result of breaching lockdown restrictions that ordinary people have willingly obeyed, Farage angrily proclaimed of the police: “I was astonished and, although I remained polite, incredulous. I replied: ‘I’m not going to take that.’”

 

Continuing his diatribe about what he calls the “new police state” run for the “sneerocracy,” hypocritical Farage – whose two children have German passports (which allows them continued free movement in Europe) – concluded: “I don’t know if I will be stopped and fined if I attempt to do my job again. However, I will look at the shipping forecast. Without question, on the next calm day they will come again, and I will be there to cover this scandal.”

 

Perhaps, instead, of meddling at a time of pandemic lockdown when his interventions are most definitely not required, this berk could just adapt the advice of Norman Tebbitt and get in a boat. Nigel Farage could sail away to somewhere he’s actually wanted – that being his very own mecca, Trumpland. There, in the manner of Dick Whittington, this fervent Firestarter might even find the streets paved with currency to replace that that he used to take in very, very generous EU expenses.

 

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9 COMMENTS

  1. Get him Down Under!!!!!!!!!!!! We need him and your Tommy Robinson fella!!!!!!!!!!! We’ve done a good job of keeping the boats away but its time to sink a few more!!!!!!!!!! As for you Poms —— Get the canons out and blast the feckless before they land on yer beaches!!!!!!!!!!! They’ll be nicking your Sheilas before you’ve had chance for half a tinnie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Nigel Farage only cares about getting even richer and more famous than he already is. He is one delusional puppy.

  3. Isn’t breaking lockdown restrictions similar (well, similarish) to refusing to have blackout curtains during the War, and keeping the lights on all night, just because they can’t tell ME what to do? I mean, it didn’t guarantee you were going to get bombed but it sure as hell increased your and your neighbours’ chances.

  4. We have that jerk trying to look like a duck. The racist hazbeen needs to duck off to somewhere else he is not wanted. The rafters may not be black and smoking but we are on lockdown to protect those in society who need it and all of us are fighting the pestilence. Yes, it is a battlefield like one we have not seen before and it is equally as merciless

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