Sunday, November 28, 2021

Distraction Dom

Section:

Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away

Aside from consoling himself with the weak warblings of morose ministers who’ve been drafted out to lackadaisically laud him, most would suggest Dominic Cummings is the loneliest man in politics this Sunday. Instead, in reality – though no one’s got around to publicly saying it (yet) – this modern day Mandelson could still prove to be Boris Johnson’s most useful asset.

 

Hidden away somewhere deep in Downing Street in his beanie hat, this lookalike of Compo from Last of the Summer Wine crossed with Michael Kelly as Doug Stamper in the House of Cards has achieved one very important thing this weekend: Cummings has made the tawdriest elements of the Jennifer Arcuri story disappear from Sunday’s front pages.

 

Whilst Cummings’ wife, Mary Wakefield, certainly didn’t help the initial narrative with her clearly confused and contradictory account of how the pair had lived during their time with coronavirus in The Spectator, she certainly set in place curiosity as to where and in the company of whom the PM’s closest henchman had been sleeping. Then, when this Oxford graduate went “off on one” with his arrogant utterings as he clambered into his Land Rover Discovery yesterday, Cummings actually pulled a blinder.

 

Subsequent revelations as to whether the senior adviser to the Prime Minister attempted a rendition of Theresa May’s “wandering in the wheat fields” and boogied in the bluebells are surprisingly neither here nor there. Aside from quite rightly exciting anger from the public due to his hypocrisy, Cummings, in true Machiavellian fashion, has instead just shifted the news agenda away from BoJo’s very own bedroom behaviour.

 

In a clear example of the ‘distraction technique’ coming into play, Cummings’ travails have made everyone forget the sordid sexual relations ‘Bonking Boris’ had with the American founder of Hacker House. According to a most reliable source close to Downing Sttreet, Arcuri – a woman whom believes she has “been thrown under a bus” by her former lover – was about to give a “kiss-and-tell,” but has now retreated to her bunker. For now, ‘Bungling Boris’ can stay home and stay safe; the blabbering bird has (for now) been belted-up.

 

Pictured top: The finest examples of modern day distraction technique spinners in politics (both in reality and in fiction) have to be Dominic Cummings and Doug Stamper.

 

Distraction Dom – Dominic Cummings wipes out Jennifer Arcuri – Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away.
(Not So) Sexy Time with Jen and Dom – Jennifer Arcuri’s alleged attempt to kiss-and-tell about her indoor activities with Boris Johnson were supposedly put on hold this weekend due to the outdoor antics of Dominic Cummings dominating the news.

Elsewhere on social media and taking a break from sharing his enjoyment of Vimto and dislike of Jeremy Clarkson, the “laureate for our fractured times” turned Pan Macmillan published novelist Brian Bilston shared a poem he’d prepared about Mr Cummings. It follows.

 

Dominic Cummings: The Lockdown Tour

By Brian Bilston

 

He’s been locking down in London,

And a bit in Durham, too.

Not to mention Barnard Castle,

Legoland and Bristol Zoo.

 

He’s been locking down in Stoke-on-Trent

And Weston-super-Mare.

He’s spread himself quite thin of late.

He’s been spreading everywhere.

 

He’s been locking down in Basildon,

In Derby, Penge and Frome.

Wherever he lays his beanie hat,

That’s his lockdown home.

 

He’s more spreadable than margarine.

He’s been spreading far and wide.

He’ll be locking down in your town soon:

Spread the word and stay inside.

 

To support a Change.org petition calling for Dominic Cummings to either “resign or be sacked,” click here.

 

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

 

Distraction Dom – Dominic Cummings wipes out Jennifer Arcuri – Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away.
Tweedle Deviant and Tweedle Deviant – Is Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s brotherhood of bumbling balls-ups about to be brought to an end? The public are most definitely braying for blood.
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.
Advertisement

6 COMMENTS

  1. Send the Sheila birdy Jenny Arcuri Down Under!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll get her a right sorting to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Advertisement

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

2,781FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
11,761FollowersFollow

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

AD
Advertisement

Recent and Popular

Karl Lagerfeld Rolls-Royce

Rolling With Karl Lagerfeld

Three Rolls-Royces that belonged to the late designer Karl Lagerfeld to be auctioned by Sotheby’s; the eccentric never drove them himself.
Amanda Platell with paedophile Rolf Harris

Moron of the Moment – Amanda Platell

Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.
Haider Malik

Hero of the Hour – Haider Malik

Unemployed graduate Haider Malik’s decision to seek work by standing with a pop-up-stall outside Canary Wharf tube station paid off with a top job offer.
Stella Creasy Wally of the Week

Wally of the Week – Stella Creasy MP

Labour loudmouth Stella Creasy MP proves herself to be nothing but a petulant pain in the arse in moaning about not being able to breastfeed her brat in the House of Commons.
What Meghan wants, Meghan gets

What Meghan Wants, Meghan Gets (Or Doesn’t)

Is the era of “what Meghan wants, Meghan gets” well and truly over for the demanding and devious Duchess of Sussex?
Paul Dacre Tough Over Toff

Tough Over Toff – Paul Dacre’s Back With A Bang

‘Daily Mail’ returns to “tough over toff” in ousting Geordie Greig and bringing back “daily hater’s” favourite’s bruiser Paul Dacre.
Charlie Elphicke Natalie Elphicke moron

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Charlie Elphicke

That MP turned jailbird Charlie Elphicke claims to be unable to afford to pay £35,000 in court costs is ludicrous given that him and his immigrant hating replacement as MP wife are clearly far from poverty stricken.
Knocked Out Judge Alison J. Nathan Ghislaine Maxwell tattoo

Is Judge Nathan Being Knocked Out?

Judge in Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial to be recommended for a promotion by President Biden thus giving more uncertainty to how the mucky madam’s trial will proceed; is Judge Nathan being knocked out?

Over a Million Views

Omid Scobie Meghan Markle Duchess of Sussex Finding Freedom

Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.
Justice for James Scurlock – Power of social media proven after the senseless murder of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a bar owner Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.
Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry – With his marriage to the former Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore.

Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a fun loving sort. He boozed, partied and enjoyed playing pranks. Now, having married ‘Murky Mucky Mendacious Meg,’ it seems those days are over.   Supposedly, according to...
Omid Scobie Sadie Quinlan Yankee Wally

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’
A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell – Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.
Richard Madeley Diana Princess of Wales

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

Weather

London
broken clouds
1.3 ° C
1.9 °
-0.1 °
75 %
6.2kmh
75 %
Sun
4 °
Mon
4 °
Tue
11 °
Wed
11 °
Thu
5 °