Thursday, April 15, 2021

Distraction Dom

Section:

Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away

Aside from consoling himself with the weak warblings of morose ministers who’ve been drafted out to lackadaisically laud him, most would suggest Dominic Cummings is the loneliest man in politics this Sunday. Instead, in reality – though no one’s got around to publicly saying it (yet) – this modern day Mandelson could still prove to be Boris Johnson’s most useful asset.

 

Hidden away somewhere deep in Downing Street in his beanie hat, this lookalike of Compo from Last of the Summer Wine crossed with Michael Kelly as Doug Stamper in the House of Cards has achieved one very important thing this weekend: Cummings has made the tawdriest elements of the Jennifer Arcuri story disappear from Sunday’s front pages.

 

Whilst Cummings’ wife, Mary Wakefield, certainly didn’t help the initial narrative with her clearly confused and contradictory account of how the pair had lived during their time with coronavirus in The Spectator, she certainly set in place curiosity as to where and in the company of whom the PM’s closest henchman had been sleeping. Then, when this Oxford graduate went “off on one” with his arrogant utterings as he clambered into his Land Rover Discovery yesterday, Cummings actually pulled a blinder.

 

Subsequent revelations as to whether the senior adviser to the Prime Minister attempted a rendition of Theresa May’s “wandering in the wheat fields” and boogied in the bluebells are surprisingly neither here nor there. Aside from quite rightly exciting anger from the public due to his hypocrisy, Cummings, in true Machiavellian fashion, has instead just shifted the news agenda away from BoJo’s very own bedroom behaviour.

 

In a clear example of the ‘distraction technique’ coming into play, Cummings’ travails have made everyone forget the sordid sexual relations ‘Bonking Boris’ had with the American founder of Hacker House. According to a most reliable source close to Downing Sttreet, Arcuri – a woman whom believes she has “been thrown under a bus” by her former lover – was about to give a “kiss-and-tell,” but has now retreated to her bunker. For now, ‘Bungling Boris’ can stay home and stay safe; the blabbering bird has (for now) been belted-up.

 

Pictured top: The finest examples of modern day distraction technique spinners in politics (both in reality and in fiction) have to be Dominic Cummings and Doug Stamper.

 

Distraction Dom – Dominic Cummings wipes out Jennifer Arcuri – Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away.
(Not So) Sexy Time with Jen and Dom – Jennifer Arcuri’s alleged attempt to kiss-and-tell about her indoor activities with Boris Johnson were supposedly put on hold this weekend due to the outdoor antics of Dominic Cummings dominating the news.

Elsewhere on social media and taking a break from sharing his enjoyment of Vimto and dislike of Jeremy Clarkson, the “laureate for our fractured times” turned Pan Macmillan published novelist Brian Bilston shared a poem he’d prepared about Mr Cummings. It follows.

 

Dominic Cummings: The Lockdown Tour

By Brian Bilston

 

He’s been locking down in London,

And a bit in Durham, too.

Not to mention Barnard Castle,

Legoland and Bristol Zoo.

 

He’s been locking down in Stoke-on-Trent

And Weston-super-Mare.

He’s spread himself quite thin of late.

He’s been spreading everywhere.

 

He’s been locking down in Basildon,

In Derby, Penge and Frome.

Wherever he lays his beanie hat,

That’s his lockdown home.

 

He’s more spreadable than margarine.

He’s been spreading far and wide.

He’ll be locking down in your town soon:

Spread the word and stay inside.

 

To support a Change.org petition calling for Dominic Cummings to either “resign or be sacked,” click here.

 

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

 

Distraction Dom – Dominic Cummings wipes out Jennifer Arcuri – Matthew Steeples suggests devious Dominic Cummings might actually be the best asset bungling Boris Johnson has got left; the king of distraction has made Jennifer Arcuri go away.
Tweedle Deviant and Tweedle Deviant – Is Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s brotherhood of bumbling balls-ups about to be brought to an end? The public are most definitely braying for blood.
c4cdbf8bb8f675b09d10a150c381b669?s=96&d=mm&r=g
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Send the Sheila birdy Jenny Arcuri Down Under!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll get her a right sorting to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Advertisement
Advertisement

Become a Patron of The Steeple Times

Independent journalism will only remain independent if it is supported by clear-thinking people like you. We each have the command to make a real difference. Join us.

2,588FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
10,903FollowersFollow

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this very British site, it helps us grow. Your data is protected and The Steeple Times will send you an email at noon everyday that we rather trust you will enjoy.

Advertisement

Other Stories You May Enjoy

Theresa’s in the Trough – Theresa May MP’s £1.2m in 2020 – 2021 – Matthew Steeples highlights that it is not just David Cameron who has been sticking his piggy fingers in the trough; Theresa May also ‘pocketed’ over £1.2 million in the last year alone.

Theresa’s in the Trough

Matthew Steeples highlights that it is not just David Cameron who has been sticking his piggy fingers in the trough; Theresa May also ‘pocketed’ over £1.2 million in the last year alone.
The Spectre Shooting Brake – 1 of 1 Rolls-Royce Wraith shooting brake – 2015 Rolls-Royce Wraith converted to a shooting brake by automotive genius Niels van Roij for sale for 157% more than it originally cost – Bonhams at their ‘Les Grandes Marques à Monaco’ sale in Monte Carlo on 23rd April 2021 with an estimate of £320,000 to £480,000 ($440,000 to $660,000, €370,000 to €550,000 or درهم1.6 million to درهم2.4 million).

The Spectre Shooting Brake

2015 Rolls-Royce Wraith converted to a ‘Spectre’ shooting brake by automotive genius Niels van Roij for sale for 157% more than it originally cost.
Courting Expletives 2021 – Emma Rivers v Jigsaw Homes Tameside – Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of once Great Britain; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward.

Courting Expletives

Extraordinary official civil judgment from the County Court at Manchester packed with expletives sums up the state of the nation; one is simply left wondering if potty mouthed Emma Rivers was trained by the creosoted napkin slapper Dawn Ward.
Beecher’s Muck – Far right Jay Beecher supports Ghislaine Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell’s latest supporter revealed to be Jay Beecher, a far right-wing political writer and ex-Ukipper with associations to the quite rightly banned-from-Facebook ‘Politicalite’

Beecher’s Muck

Ghislaine Maxwell’s latest supporter revealed to be Jay Beecher, a far right-wing political writer and ex-Ukipper with associations to the quite rightly banned-from-Facebook ‘Politicalite’
Mucky Maxwell & Meddling Madeley – Ghislaine Maxwell apologist Richard Madeley exposed – EXCLUSIVE – Richard Madeley is an apologist for Ghislaine Maxwell suggests ‘The Steeple Times’ and his wife, of course, was an apologist for another sexual abuser, footballer Ched Evans.

Mucky Maxwell & Meddling Madeley

EXCLUSIVE – Meddling Richard Madeley is an apologist for Ghislaine Maxwell suggests ‘The Steeple Times’ whilst his wife, of course, was criticised for her views on sexual abusers in 2014.
Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Irish jockey Rachael Blackmore – In becoming the first woman ever to win the Grand National, Rachael Blackmore has brought much needed joy to the racing world.

Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Rachael Blackmore

In becoming the first woman ever to win the Grand National, Rachael Blackmore has brought much needed joy to the racing world.
Hero of the Hour 2021 – 86-year-old steeplejack Peter Harknett – That 86-year-old steeplejack Peter Harknett has just completed his final job climbing St Giles Church in Horsted Keynes is remarkable.

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Peter Harknett

That 86-year-old steeplejack Peter Harknett has just completed his final job climbing St Giles Church in Horsted Keynes is remarkable.
Wicked Worldwide Webbed Ghislaine 2021 – Ghislaine Maxwell website – Ghislaine Maxwell’s family opted to “bury bad news” on the day Prince Philip died by launching a new website in support of the mucky madam; on it they share that the wicked wench is reading a book by peddler of piffle Boris Johnson and elsewhere follows Richard and Judy on Twitter.

Wicked Worldwide Webbed Ghislaine

Ghislaine Maxwell’s family opted to “bury bad news” on the day Prince Philip died by launching a new website in support of the mucky madam; on it they share that the wicked wench is reading a book by peddler of piffle Boris Johnson and elsewhere follows Richard and Judy on Twitter.
Runners & Riders – The Grand National 2021 – ‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers 4 options for Saturday’s crowded Grand National 2021.

Runners & Riders – The Grand National 2021

‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers 4 options for Saturday’s crowded Grand National 2021.
Website of the Week 2021 – Sadie Quinlan’s Yankee Wally – Sadie Quinlan’s ‘Yankee Wally’ YouTube channel where she “plays by the rules” whilst exposing what she views to be the nefarious activities of the Duchess of Sussex is a must watch.

Website of the Week – Yankee Wally

Sadie Quinlan’s ‘Yankee Wally’ YouTube channel where she “plays by the rules” whilst exposing what she views to be the nefarious activities of the Duchess of Sussex is a must watch.

Popular Articles From The Past

Weather

London
scattered clouds
6.5 ° C
7.8 °
5.6 °
65 %
2.6kmh
40 %
Thu
7 °
Fri
12 °
Sat
13 °
Sun
14 °
Mon
15 °