If Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman is dating the car crash that is Lindsay Lohan, he must be bonkers; the truth is more likely that this washed-up slapper is pulling yet another publicity stunt
News that Lindsay Lohan might be in a relationship with “the bloodthirsty crown prince of Saudi Arabia” Mohammad bin Salman might at first seem like an April Fool’s prank, but that this brassy, drunken madam has got her claws into this billionaire is more likely something that this deranged druggie created to get herself back in the spotlight.
Of previous suggestions that the publicity whore Lohan – known for trotting around with the equally pointless special case “Israeli socialite” Hofit Golan – was linked to the Arab royal, in September, she replied:
“[I want] someone who hates the spotlight. Seriously, someone who doesn’t have Instagram. And a smart businessman. But I haven’t met anyone that’s hit those marks.”
Now, it seems, Lohan’s “proud dad” (a man whom previously the well-known substance abuser “cut off” and described as “unpredictable”) has got in on the act. Speaking in a tone that could be taken as a little bit over defensive at Denise Rich’s ‘Angel Ball,’ Michael Lohan told Page Six:
“They are just friends, Lindsay has a lot of powerful friends in the Middle East, because she is huge out there. Lindsay met MBS because of the work [we’d be most curious to know who her clients exactly are] she has been doing in the Middle East. She is working to help people in the region, particularly refugees.”
“Nobody writes about the good work Lindsay does in Syria, they just want to hear the bad stuff. She has a platonic and respectful relationship with MBS, nothing more… Lindsay says he’s a good person. She feels safe, she has good people around her, and she knows how to conduct herself.”
That anyone could consider Miss Lohan to be “huge” is one thing, but that they might describe this piece of trailer trash as “good” is another. Shame on the media for falling for her latest tawdry publicity stunt.
“Napkin slapper” Dawn Ward again proves herself to be a common degenerate in using the phrase “do one”
Telling some to “remove oneself” by instead saying “do one” is quite frankly just awful. It is used by people – whom are generally northerners according to the Oxford English Dictionary – when they’ve lost an argument and want to throw their toys out of their pram. That it is a choice phrase of the “creosoted creature” Dawn Ward about says it all.
On Sunday, “tacky champagne swiller” Ward took to Twitter yet again in response to an article in August in The Steeple Times that condemned her for encouraging her 21-year-old daughter to get her boobs done. In reply to a tweet about the matter from the account of a gentleman named Mick Walsh that described the participants in the Real Housewives of Cheshire as “a bunch of materialistic women” with “false friendships and an aversion to stepping out of the house without a makeover,” Ward answered (without punctuation): “Yawn why you following then weirdo you don’t know any of us to even make an opinion mick Walsh do one.”
Frankly, it’s not Mr Walsh who should “piss off” (as “do one” is defined elsewhere); instead it’s the odious specimen that is Dawn Ward.
Pictured top: Dimwit Dawn Ward (left) looking truly terrifying in a “futuristic metallic look” at London Fashion Week in January (plainly she thought the dress code was ‘Halloween’) and Dawn Ward in “fetish gear” more recently (right).
The Steeple Times reveals some of the curious people Boris Johnson’s squeeze Carrie Symonds previously associated with – a past that includes online manhood sharers and fake news creators
As Boris Johnson’s girlfriend attempts to morph into the role of Britain’s answer to a first lady, we can reveal a past that she’d likely rather forget that includes links to far right political organisations and creators of fake news.
Interestingly, back in 2016, BBC Monitoring published an article that suggested that Haiste and Hopwood-Phillips – an individual prone to sharing photographs of his manhood online according a blog named ‘The Voice of Reason’ – were allegedly part of a hoax involving the Russian news corporation Pravda International.
Haiste, whose name is spelled sometimes as ‘Haste,’ at that time, claimed to have “Russian roots” and told The Herald that he was “previously peripherally involved with the Conservative Party.” He suggested that he’d been encouraged into journalism by Carrie Symonds’ father, Matthew Symonds, and argued that his publication would be a “cross between The Spectator, [the] New Statesman and Vice,” but strangely despite an alleged £8.3 million investment (which was never verified), it melted into the sunset.
“Right-wing writer and activist” Hopwood-Phillips, at that time, was promoted to Pravdainternational.com’s travel and restaurant reviewer, but no longer seems to occupy this role.
Meanwhile shot of her unfortunate appendages, little miss Symonds now finds herself living in Downing Street. We do hope she won’t be inviting the convicted criminal and vice president of the Traditional Britain Group Gregory Lauder-Frost round for a red wine spilling on the sofa session with Bosie The Clown.
Cliff Richard shares his bizarre views about Brexit, losing friends, speaking to himself and liking being addressed by his title just as a cardboard cutout of him is nicked (thus causing “airport chaos”)
Last week, Sir Cliff Richard OBE rose up once again and was interviewed for ITV’s Lorraine show by the Scottish television presenter Ross King MBE in America.
In the 19:53 minute feature, “uncompromising Christian” Sir Cliff – a title he insisted he “couldn’t stop laughing for 10 minutes” when he was told he was going to be given it – announced:
“I like being called Sir Cliff. When I used to be introduced as Mr Cliff Richard, I said: ‘Don’t call me that, it’s not even on my passport or my credit card.’ The title has made my life informal as it now just Sir Cliff [and not Sir Cliff Richard].”
Moving on to Brexit, the oracle that is ‘Cliffy’ shared his equally bizarre and somewhat irrelevant views. He remarked:
“Brexit, exit, hexit? Who cares? I don’t think anyone’s quite explained it. I wasn’t allowed to vote anyway [he is resident in Barbados, he’ll have you know]… We are on the triangle of an island and we’re doing pretty well…. I can understand just being British and English again.”
On dementia in his family, he bizarrely commented of his sister: “I told Jackie, if she got it, I’d look after her. I’d put her in a cell” and on his career, he added: “I dreamed of being like Elvis. I’m probably the luckiest popstar who has ever lived.”
Moving on to his physical appearance and upbringing, Sir Cliff was brazen. “I used to be so cute,” he giggled, before adding: “When I look in the mirror, I thought: ‘Something’s happened to me… I feel good now.” He continued:
“I was born in India, but now, like Sting, I say: ‘I’m British, but my soul is in America… I love coming to America. I’m not really known here and when I go to get my haircut, the barber says: ‘Never heard of ya.’”
On his deceased chum Cilla Black and other friendships, Sir Cliff – who himself has previously expressed his dislike for Alice Cooper, Miley Cyrus and Liam and Noel Gallagher amongst others – was slightly necromancer like: “Cilla comes into every, every single conversation in Barbados still. She comes into everyone’s minds still, all the time.”
“She was loyal enough to say when all that was happening [the accusations of sexual offences against men that were levelled against him from 2014 to 2016] that she’d give her awards back. And I’d say: ‘Keep it, keep it.’ She was a very loyal friend.”
“It’s only been a couple of times in my life that people I thought were friends pulled away… They didn’t survive, but that had nothing to do with me.”
Moving specifically to another of his associates, Olivia Newton-John AC, OBE, Sir Cliff spoke directly. He made his position of power clear and announced: “I introduced her to the planet. But I couldn’t get rid of the woman.”
Concluding, Sir Cliff was equally audible. He stated: “Think of that phrase: ‘Older and wiser.’ Well, all I’ve done till now is get older, so, now, I’m trying to get wiser. But I’m not stopping. Ever.”
Elsewhere on Tuesday, the Daily Star published proof of Sir Cliff’s everlasting popularity amongst pensioners in revealing that a group of them “sparked airport chaos” after “masterminding” the theft of a cardboard cutout of the creepy crooner.
The paper reported the St Lawrence Bowls Team from Ramsgate, Kent “decided to nick the cut-out [from the duty free section at Faro airport] for their bar at the club because one of their members looks like the Living Doll singer.” One of their number, Jeffrey Marraway, remarked:
“I was amazed. We brought the airport to a stop, absolutely and totally amazed.”
“We were out bowling in Portugal having a good time when on the way home we saw Sir Cliff in duty free.”
“One of our members look like [Sir Cliff] so [we] thought it would be funny if he came with us.”
“He came with us for a drink in the bar and when it was time to go I folded him up and walked him through. We got on the plane and I put him in the overhead locker.”
“Then the pilot came on and said there would be no further action if we gave it back.”
“He shook my hand and said he’d never experienced anything as funny before and the stewardesses and stewards were laughing too.”
“We want to make [Sir Cliff] an honorary member [of our bowls club].”
“It was all good fun, everyone took it in the spirit it was intended.”
When asked for his thoughts on this matter, however, a spokesman for the mean spirited ‘star’ supposedly announced: “Sir Cliff is unavailable for comment.”
Rugby star Danny Cipriani to sue ageing desperado WAG Lizzie Cundy’s publishers over her tawdry claims about bedding him
There’s lowbrow and then there’s the country’s leading knicker flasher, Lizzie Cundy.
With news that Soho Friday Media, the publishers of Cundy’s Tales From The Red Carpet, are being sued for breaches of privacy and data protection rules, comes proof that there’s no hole that isn’t an open goal for Cundy.
Cipriani (branded ‘Danny Chipolata’ by previous lover Katie Price for his supposedly “lean” appendage), apparently, has taken objection to a number of passages in Cundy’s likely highly exaggerated tell-all. Aside from claiming she “sodded the consequences” to have “noisy secret sex” with the 20-year-her-junior rugby player “under the nose of his mum,” Cundy also suggested she hid herself “behind a plant pot” on occasion also.
Previously Cundy – a woman who likes to “dress like a scrubber” – has also argued she has been “jilted” by the Duchess of Sussex and “flashed her knickers as poured champagne over a naked waiter” at the now defunct Caramel restaurant in Brompton Cross. What class.
Pictured top: Lizzie Cundy (right) flashes her boobs whilst in the company of the loopy chocolate bar muncher Anthea Turner.
In sharing images of herself digging a hole at the White House yesterday, Melania Trump gave rise to theories about what she was really upto
Melania Trump isn’t known for her intellect, but in sharing images of herself digging up soil next to the White House’s tennis court yesterday with her 3.4 million Instagram followers this dimwit gave rise to two suggestions.
Though Mrs Trump alleges she’s breaking ground for an “exciting” pavilion project, we’d suggest she could be either burying evidence for her hubby as he awaits impeachment or practicing for her role in building his accursed and much loathed wall.
Either way, Melania did something else: She also illustrated that you can do construction in your heels.
Matthew Steeples hosts a dinner to raise funds for the International Fund for Animal Welfare’s elephant conservation work at Granger & Co. Chelsea
On 30th September, The Steeple Times’ Matthew Steeples and the International Fund for Animal Welfare’s Richard Marriott gathered an eclectic group of friends and supporters to raise funds to support the charity’s work to conserve elephants in Panda-Masuie in Zimbabwe.
The evening event encompassed a drinks reception, three course dinner, a speech by IFAW’s vice president for conservation and animal rescue Jason Bell and an auction of books, handmade velvet slippers kindly donated by Arthur Sleep and an acrylic on glass painting by William Cookson.
Those present included Heather Bird Tchenguiz, Chris Boadle, James Dove, Anne England, Patrick Fullick, Enzina Fuschini, Alexis Parr, Melleney Samsudin, Matthew Singh, Navjot Singh and Angelo Valentino. All concerned were delighted to support this worthy cause and a good time was had by all.
William Cookson with his painting and Heather Bird Tchenguiz and Anna MazzottaMatthew Singh and Chris Boadle.Richard Marriott, Jemma Moore, Matthew Steeples and Jason Bell.Anne England and Patrick Fullick.James Dove and Melleney SamsudinHeather Bird Tchenguiz and Matthew Steeples auctioned items including the slightly racy book “Strangers in the Buff” at the end of the evening.Guests.Matthew Steeples and Enzina Fuschini.
Californian freak who wants to be president and changed his name to ‘Sexy Vegan’ exposed as a dog rapist
Hansel Marion DeBartolo III, a vile being who legally changed his name to ‘Sexy Vegan’ and then had it tattooed on his face, likes to walk around the streets in speedos carrying a full length mirror and claims his occupation is ‘2020 presidential candidate.’ He also compares himself to an “exotic like a Lamborghini SV.”
Completely unappealing in all senses, this 37-year old nutjob was arrested on Thursday after the discovery of a video “performing an act of bestiality” on a pit bull terrier online. Two dogs were subsequently removed from Vegan’s home in Newhall, California by the Los Angeles County Department of Animal Care and Control. Vegan, meanwhile, was charged with sexual assault on an animal and posting obscene matter.
Previously this monstrous lunatic appeared on the Dr Phil show in October 2017 singing: “I am the vegan messiah” whilst calling his mother a “sociopathic piece of crap.” This psycho was escorted off and though he later reappeared to apologise in March 2018, he yet again simply made an utter prat of himself. Amongst his remarks in that episode, tellingly, were: “I like to cuddle my dog.
Previously this wannabe singer shared lyrics to his 14,200 YouTube followers that included: “Do what you do as long as you are not harming anyone, animals and insects too.” Plainly that mantra was thrown out with the bath water last week and plainly now this American equivalent of the British labrador abuser Carol Bowditch needs to be permanently caged.
Will Anthea Turner’s chum Lizzie Cundy be joining her to swing into action with a Cadbury’s Flake at her forthcoming nuptials?
Anthea Turner likes a chocolate bar. She particularly likes Cadbury’s Flakes and at her last wedding she and her beau began their union by shoving them into their gobs most enthusiastically.
Turner, the MailOnline took an entire article to announce today, has “asked her best friend Lizzie Cundy to be one of her bridesmaids at her upcoming wedding to Mark Armstrong.”
Aside from this being truly ‘exciting’ and ‘stirring’ for the entire nation, Turner’s latest ‘revelation’ shows her yet again as a woman who swings into action. Like, say Anthea Rice, no challenge is too much for her and of where she shared this vitally important news – at the launch of a bar owned by the formerly ‘trout pouted’ Leslie Ash – the paper continued:
“Lizzie clearly got the memo from Anthea, as she stepped out clad in a skinny pair of leather trousers, teaming hers with a black lace-up body.”
“The former WAG kept things simple as she opted for a nude pair of barely-there stilettos to complete her ensemble.”
“The brunette beauty looked typically preened with a bouncy blow-dry and a glamorous make-up look.”
Whatever next for this leather clad duo? A little party with a few whips and chains?
Pictured top: Leather panted Anthea Turner, Mark Armstrong, Lizzie Cundy (also leather panted), Lee Chapman and Leslie Ash.
One of the world’s highest paid actresses ludicrously asks for an electric mop on her wedding registry; this mucky madam plainly wants a role on “How Clean Is Your House?”
Self-declared “actress and philanthropist” Jennifer Lawrence is best known for mendaciously moaning that a leak of her mucky nude photographs were a “sexual violation.”
Lawrence – whose claims the images were meant only for her then squeeze, the actor Nicholas Hoult, were met with much mirth – has now boobed again in sharing her wedding regiastry ‘want list’ online via Amazon.
Amongst items on the ludicrous list is something that the Hunger Games star claims: “Will help make any home feel cozy and organized, just the way I like it,” a £365 ($449, €411 or درهم1,649) electric robot mop. The device supposedly “helps tackle sticky messes, grime and kitchen grease.” Kim Woodburn eat your heart out; Jennifer is plainly “too posh to wash.”
Jennifer Lawrence with her now ex-boyfriend Nicholas Hoult. She infamously created ‘naughty snaps’ on her iPhone for him and then bleated and blubbed when they got hacked and shared.
