The Steeple Times

Category: MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society.

A chronicle of drama, scandal and success in London, Paris, New York and elsewhere

  • Anth’s August Antics

    Anth’s August Antics

    That three newspapers chose to run a story about ‘f**k, I used to be famous’ Anthea Turner finding a toyboy is proof that the ‘silly season’ is in full swing

    You know the ‘silly season’ is in full swing when The Sun, the Mail on Sunday and the Mirror all run features about Cadbury’s Flake loving Anthea Turner finding herself a ‘toyboy.’

     

    That anything “washed up TV non-entity” and “unlucky in love” ‘Anth’ – alternatively known as ‘the woman who put the ug! in smug!’ – does is still considered news is one thing, but that the Mail on Sunday refer to this publicity seeking wench as a “bubbly broadcaster” is another.

     

    In response to the news that ‘f**k, I used to be famous’ has “found love” with a “tycoon” named Mark Armstrong, comments on the Mail Online included: “If only she would crumble away,” “she’s like the Gail Platt of daytime telly” and “bet she is getting banged like a barn door in a storm.” Referencing Debbie McGee’s ‘Mrs Armstrong moment,’ @BernieWusster in the Mirror amusingly asked: “What it is about wealthy tycoons that she finds so attractive?”

     

    ‘Princess Tippytoes’s’ last outing in the media was to talk about her sexual activities. She cringeworthily announced: “Women in their 50s still love a shag. I do… I still get my tits out to people.” What on earth will she share next?

     

    Pictured top: Anthea Turner with Lizzie Cundy and posing somewhat tastelessly (at least no Cadbury’s Flake was harmed on that occasion).

     

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  • With Friends Like These…

    Ghislaine Maxwell’s relationships with sexual deviants were not limited to just Jeffrey Epstein; she was previously linked to former MP Harvey ‘Whacko’ Proctor

    It turns out that the former MP and convicted criminal Harvey Proctor – found guilty of gross indecency with teenagers in 1986 – is linked to Ghislaine Maxwell via his former employer, the current Duke of Rutland.

     

    On 26th October 1986, The People – then owned by the pension pot robber Robert Maxwell – ran a front page spread about how someone had tried to “blackmail” them and their proprietor if they “continued with [their] ‘campaign’ against the kinky MP [Harvey Proctor].” They claimed a caller had alleged they “would reveal compromising details of an alleged relationship between Mr Maxwell’s daughter Ghislaine and the son of a Duke… at Belvoir Castle with incriminating pictures of them in compromising positions.”

     

    In the article, the alleged sex game and rentboy lover Harvey Proctor is quoted and tellingly bleated: “I know nothing about it at all. I would describe this kind of threat as absolutely disgraceful. I have no idea who would do anything like that. It has nothing to do with me. I have nothing more to say.”

     

    The People had previously run an article about the then Tory politician that had suggested he “was not fit to remain an MP.” It concluded: “In the words of Oliver Cromwell: ‘IN THE NAME OF GOD, GO!’” The same now could perhaps be said of the murky missing madam of the moment Ghislaine Maxwell.

     

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    With Friends Like These… Ghislaine Maxwell and Harvey Proctor – Ghislaine Maxwell’s relationships with sexual deviants were not limited to just Jeffrey Epstein; previously linked to ex-MP Harvey Proctor.
  • With Friends Like These…

    With Friends Like These…

    That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached

    ‘Randy Andy’ has never been considered capable of carefulness in his choice of company, but in opting to have one of the stingiest billionaires on the planet round for a spot of dinner (and a “few high-spirited games” afterwards according to The Sun) shows this alleged groper’s demise is nearly complete.

     

    This morning, the paper reported the Duke of York and his family had the poisonous dwarf Bernie Ecclestone round to his Royal Lodge, Windsor home last Wednesday to celebrate his birthday. That they couldn’t get a better quality of guest given the scandals they’re engulfed in is not surprising, but one is only left asking: “What did this reprehensible bunch consume?”

     

    Given tax careful Bernard – a man with qualities that would be make Leona Helmsley look generous – is renowned for his meanness with money, most likely he brought with him the cheapest margherita from the Woking branch of Pizza Express. Undoubtedly nobody sweated either and one can likely predict that ‘The Coffin Dodger’ opted to take the takeaway cardboard box home with him for re-use later.

     

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    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    Prince Andrew is plainly a man who’ll hang out with anyone – as long as they are rich and/or powerful. He had no qualms in staying with the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein after he got out of jail.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    He’s spent time with the alleged procurer of underage girls Ghislaine Maxwell as recently as last summer.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    He’s a friend of Donald and Melania Trump. The President is well-known for tax evasion and many other nefarious activities.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    He and his wife spent time holidaying at the expense of the alleged paedophile Peter Nygard.
    With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.
    The Duke and Duchess of York also associated with the convicted paedophile Stuart Hall. Shame on the pair of them.
  • Amazing Profanity

    Amazing Profanity

    John Newton of ‘Amazing Grace’ fame was the world’s most accomplished swearer

    In a most fascinating letter to The Times yesterday, Sister Hilda Mary Baumberg of St Michael’s Convent, Gerrards Cross revealed that the English slave ship captain turned abolitionist and Anglican clergyman John Newton (1725 – 1807) was quite possibly the most accomplished swearer on the planet ever.

     

    In her missive, Sister Baumberg remarked:

     

    “I read with interest Carol Midgley’s Notebook (August 5th) about the swearing ban at Salford Quays. Before his conversion John Newton, of Amazing Grace fame, could apparently swear for half an hour without repeating himself. What a shame he is not with us to keep the obscenity standards up; the F-word tends to be very boring. But of course after Newton’s conversion such language never again passed his lips.”

     

    “Figure of middle-brow reaction” Mary Whitehouse would have had a heart attack reading such at her breakfast table. We join those saluting both Newton and Sister Baumberg.

     

    Amazing Grace

    Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)

    That sav’d a wretch like me!

    I once was lost, but now am found,

    Was blind, but now I see.

     

    ’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

    And grace my fears reliev’d;

    How precious did that grace appear,

    The hour I first believ’d!

     

    Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,

    I have already come;

    ’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,

    And grace will lead me home.

     

    The Lord has promis’d good to me,

    His word my hope secures;

    He will my shield and portion be,

    As long as life endures.

     

    Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

    And mortal life shall cease;

    I shall possess, within the veil,

    A life of joy and peace.

     

    The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

    The sun forbear to shine;

    But God, who call’d me here below,

    Will be forever mine.

     

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  • Name & Shame – The Garden Grabber

    Name & Shame – The Garden Grabber

    Fulham window box stealer is made famous on Twitter

    A pesky woman who made error of taking a window box from a house in Stephendale Road, Fulham, SW6 plainly didn’t know she was being caught on camera.

     

    Evidence of this thieving little madam’s ‘handiwork’ was posted to Twitter by Arron Shepherd, founder of the Goat marketing agency, and has now been viewed over 703,000 times, liked by over 9,200 people and shared on a further 15,300 accounts.

     

    Surprisingly even Vauxhall MP Kate Hoey – one of the Labour Party’s most annoying parliamentarians – got involved, but today we join those asking: “Who is this menace?” She deserves to be hurled in the manure heap.

     

    #NameAndShame

     

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    Name & Shame – The Garden Grabber – Stephendale Road, Fulham, London, SW6 window box stealer is made famous on Twitter.
  • Borwick Binned

    Borwick Binned

    Kensington Conservatives bin ivory loving Lady Borwick in favour of local socialite and Brexiteer ‘Flicka’ Buchan

    Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick was quite bad enough in that she did nothing for the homeless and supported (and still supports) the ivory trade, but now Kensington Conservatives have done it again by selecting yet another pro-Brexit candidate.

     

    Highlighted in the crusading local blog From The Hornets Nest as “totally unknown” and having “done little for local people in the past,” the party’s new candidate was recently announced as a Walton Street, SW3 resident and “active campaigner for Brexit” named Felicity Buchan (or ‘Flicka’ to her rather posh friends).

     

    That a party that lost a seat that should have been won by a pig in a blue rosette given it is one of the wealthiest constituencies in the land is one thing, but that they have now selected someone who does not represent the views of the 69% of the electorate who voted against Brexit is another. Plainly Kensington Conservatives are still on a suicide mission: They most certainly deserve their likely sorry fate.

     

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    Borwick Binned – Kensington Tories: Lady Borwick out, Felicity Buchan – Kensington Conservatives bin ivory loving Lady Borwick in favour of local socialite and Brexiteer Felicity ‘Flicka’ Buchan.
    God help her chances – With Theresa May as an “endorser,” ‘Flicka’ is an example of most definitely an example of: “With friends like these…”
    Borwick Binned – Kensington Tories: Lady Borwick out, Felicity Buchan – Kensington Conservatives bin ivory loving Lady Borwick in favour of local socialite and Brexiteer Felicity ‘Flicka’ Buchan.
    ‘Flicka’ has previously shown support for ‘no deal’ Brexit. Shame on her.
    Borwick Binned – Kensington Tories: Lady Borwick out, Felicity Buchan – Kensington Conservatives bin ivory loving Lady Borwick in favour of local socialite and Brexiteer Felicity ‘Flicka’ Buchan.
    ‘Flicka’ was previously a Conservative candidate in South Shields. She even got a visit from the harridan vicar’s daughter there in May 2017.
  • Moron of the Moment – Ambar Zohra

    Moron of the Moment – Ambar Zohra

    Pavement pest Ambar Zohra is a young lady who needs a bar of soap in her mouth and her scooter confiscated

    Ambar (not Amber) Zohra is someone with no manners and no grace. This big bummed broad deserves highlighting for smashing into innocent pedestrians and deserves being called out for snatching mobile phones and screaming abuse also.

     

    On Monday, the ghastly turd of a person that is Zohra hurtled along Walton Street on a stand-on scooter. This twerp of a girl hit an elderly pedestrian and when confronted by Matthew Steeples of The Steeple Times, screamed abuse and profanities and snatched his mobile telephone and threw it in the road.

     

    Next, this foul-mouthed horror bizarrely launched into a tirade against social housing occupants. The nasty nutcase asked: “Do I look like I’m from a council house?” and then announced: “My friend got killed on an electric scooter last week.”

     

    In response, her female victim, Min Boisragon, stated: “That’s double reason you shouldn’t be on this contraption” before Jane Morris, managing director of Percy Bass, rightly added: “Where do you think you are from? The five floors of whores?”

     

    If you see the piece of scum that is Ambar Zohra coming, our advice is this: Jump in the gutter. If you don’t, this vile piece of trash will run you down.

     

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  • Name & Shame – Soly Zadeh

    Name & Shame – Soly Zadeh

    Soly Zadeh, an artist who disgracefully failed to honour his commitments to an animal conservation charity named and shamed

    Soly Zadeh, an artist whose somewhat strange works appear on the Saatchi Art website, is someone who was given the opportunity to exhibit his works at a charity event in May to raise money for animal conservation.

     

    Zadeh’s participation was agreed only on the basis that he would give a percentage of anything sold to the cause and in exchange he had the opportunity to reach a high profile audience including press and personalities.

     

    Though a work was sold to a supporter of the cause, Mr Zadeh has since refused to honour his commitment. On this basis, today, we name and shame him and urge readers to boycott this charlatan and call out his most inappropriate antics.

     

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  • Don’t You Know Who I Am?

    Don’t You Know Who I Am?

    Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury

    We sadly live in an era of selfies and reality television, but on Thursday an especially vacuous wench named Carmen Jordá made an utter prat of herself by posing for 40 minutes for photographs on the pavement outside Bibendum in South Kensington.

     

    Dumb blonde Jordá, dressed in a disgusting off-pink outfit resembling a set of worn out curtains from the set of Dynasty, sat both inside and posed outside a Wiesmann convertible, but did not take a breath of air. Shamelessly this self-promoting sort clicked her fingers at her personal photographer – a nobody dressed in an equally ghastly matching pink jacket – and choregraphed her every move. An equally odd woman, one Erica Pelosini, joined in (dressed in a darker shade of pink and resembling Cruella de Ville on crack) and flashed her black underwear as she got in and out of the car.

     

    A Dowager Duchess and her daughters sat on looking in astonishment. One stated: “I don’t want to bitch, but here’s mutton dressed as lamb.” A visitor from Egypt at the next table added: “These two are more like Cinderella’s sisters.” Spot on.

     

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    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Paris Hilton arriving at the event with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Paris Hilton leaving the event with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Carmen ‘I don’t travel without my personal photographer in coordinated clothing’ Jordá.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Carmen ‘Plainly a woman who has to be photographed from all angles’ Jordá.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    ‘I must show off my big butt’ Carmen Jordá.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    ‘Time for yet another pose’ Carmen Jordá.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Polish friend of Jackie Branston and wife of Norwegian billionaire Bjarne Rieber joins in on the action and takes pictures of Carmen Jordá from the pavement.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    The paparazzi had no interest in Carmen Jordá but went mental for ‘One Night in Paris.’
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Another guest decided to dress as Big Bird.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Leading gatecrasher ‘Mr Frizzy’ put in an appearance (but did not make it upstairs to the actual party). “Where was David Pun?” asked one present. After all, #NoPunNoParty.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Two guests plainly who’d plainly been to PoundLand for their outfits.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Another decided to show her more than ample derriere. Kim Kardashian would have been proud.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    A Miss Trunchbull lookalike also put in an appearance.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    Meanwhile, Carmen Jordá just continued to pose and pose and pose a little more.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    A local looked on and laughed.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    But all the PoundLand bird wanted to do was pose.
    Don’t You Know Who I Am? Carmen Jordá eclipsed by Paris Hilton – Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later holding hands with Caroline ‘#JustSaying’ Stanbury
    And all Cinderella’s ugly sister wanted to do was to go to the ball.
  • Siddiqi Out-Sherlocked

    Siddiqi Out-Sherlocked

    Twitter troll and all-round oddity Tariq Siddiqi loses £5 million case against Sherlock Holmes Limited and others

    Late last month a case brought by Tariq Siddiqi alleging he had been “the  target  and victim of the publication of derogatory, confidential and/or private information on a website” devoted to exposing his business affairs and “bitterly…  accus[ing] and depict[ing] [him] of being a fraudster” was mostly thrown out by the High Court.

     

    Siddiqi – a tiresome nuisance prone to harassing people on Twitter and someone who has also supported his associates the convicted malicious communicator Viscount St Davids and the totally bonkers fantasist Michelle Young – tried to claim the ludicrous sum of £4,149,911.84 “by way of damages and interest thereon” from John Aidiniantz, Andrea von Ehrenstein, The Sherlock Holmes Museum Limited, Rollerteam Limited and Sherlock Holmes Limited.

     

    In summary, The Honourable Mr Justice Warby remarked: “The substantial loss he claims to have suffered is all years in the past.… There is no  evidence to show that continued publication will or is” likely to cause any significant future loss.

     

    Having also failed in his efforts to persuade the authorities to prosecute the defendants, judgment was granted in favour of the associates in the case. Whilst serial litigant Siddiqi is now free to continue action against John Aidiniantz, he failed to bring down Sherlock Holmes.

     

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