A selection of amusing and odd remarks from the media classes including ones from Benjamin Butterworth, Lady Colin Campbell, Gemma Collins, John Crace, Darren Grimes and Lindsay Lohan
Benjamin Butterworth
The journalist took to Twitter to respond to news that Mark Ronson considers himself a “sapiosexual” and thus “only shags educated women.” Butterworth tweeted:
“Being ‘sapiosexual’ is just having a type. It’s not an equality issue. Nobody ever beat you up in school for fancying women that have read Shakespeare.”
Try telling that to the even more tedious “my pronouns are they/them” Sam Smith.
Lady Colin Campbell
Born of undefined sex I’m A Celebrity… contestant Lady Colin Campbell decided to share her views about the Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein scandal (with The Sun mistakenly referencing the dead paedophile as ‘Jeremy Epstein’) in spite of never having met either man:
“Everything I know about Prince Andrew, and he’s not a friend of mine… His tastes do not run in that direction.”
A highly useful observation that. Well done to The Sun for running such a relevant story. Perhaps they could next ask Brenda From Bristol for her views also.
Gemma Collins
The Only Way Is Essex ‘star’ told The Sun about why she opted to spend £650 per night on a room at The Ritz:
“Princess Diana used to stay here and she is someone that is, for me, the most amazing person on earth. I kind of justified spending out on a room at The Ritz in memory of Diana.”
We are sure the late royal is ever so grateful and we are certain The Ritz must love this fine publicity.
John Crace
In an analysis of the Lord Keen vs. Lord Pannick showdown at the Supreme Court in his Guardian politics sketch, Crace concluded:
“Keen ended up as a puddle on the dancefloor. Pannick mopped him up and helped him into a taxi.”
Spot on. Pannick may soon be doing the same with Boris Johnson.
Darren Grimes
The Vote Leave election manipulator took to Twitter to make a joke about Justin Truddeau. Grimes’ tweet read:
“People are being very unfair and unkind about the Canadian Prime Minstrel.”
Another example of this little brat’s frankly grim sense of humour.
Lindsay Lohan
Drink and drug loving defender of Harvey Weinstein, actress, publicity whore and all-round car crash Lindsay Lohan decided to share her views about dating (after being dumped yet again):
“[I want] someone who hates the spotlight. Seriously, someone who doesn’t have Instagram. And a smart businessman. But I haven’t met anyone that’s hit those marks.”
Any man with an ounce of sense would run a mile. The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammad bin Salman, plainly did.
‘Inglorious’ Gloria Hunniford yet again proves herself to be anything but the ‘national treasure’ she so often claims to be
There is something most unpleasant about Gloria Hunniford. Aside from her obsession with constantly leaping to the defence of the creepy Christian crooner Sir Cliff Richard, this old harpy also used to be friendly with the convicted paedophile Rolf Harris.
Yesterday, Hunniford showed another side to her character when, in a potty mouthed diatribe, she used the F-word during a segment on the should-be-banned-from-Britain car crash of a television show that she so regularly appears on, ITV1’s Loose Women.
In a segment titled ‘Should we ban offensive words from the dictionary?’ – a question which the lowbrow audience surely would have little interest in or knowledge about – ‘Inglorious’ spoke about having a “family discussion.” She claimed: “I heard myself saying: ‘Well you fucking well know everything’” before covering her hand with her mouth.
This sewer mouthed woman also spoke of how her father used to “throw her out” if she swore, but then tried to appear intellectual by adding: “I love the dictionary even to this day, but I don’t like the abbreviations and the American spellings going in.” Who on earth does this ridiculous old bag think she is? Professor Mary Beard?
Sign a petition to encourage ITV to axe the shameful disgrace that is ‘Loose Women’ by clicking here. The nation deserves better television.
As Michael Barrymore is branded “hilarious” and a “novelty” as he makes his TV comeback, we suggest there is no “comic impact” about this at all; what is required instead is justice for the late Stuart Lubbock
Heterosexual and known as “a bit of a womaniser,” 31-year-old meat packing worker Stuart Lubbock died on the 31st March 2001 in the most horrific of circumstances in Roydon, Essex. He had suffered “severe internal injuries” caused by a “fist or hard object” being “forcibly inserted into his anus” at the home of the television personality Michael Barrymore and was found dead next to the ‘entertainer’s’ swimming pool at around 5.45am. Neighbours had reported screaming at 5am but no call was made to emergency services until 5.45am.
A jury reached an open verdict over the death of Stuart Lubbock in 2002. He was just 31 when he died.The Roydon, Essex bungalow owned by Michael Barrymore where Mr Lubbock met his tragic and gruesome end.Stuart Lubbock’s father, Terry Lubbock, has campaigned for justice and has repeatedly called for Michael Barrymore to face him on television to discuss what really happened on the 31st March 2001.
As well as Barrymore and Lubbock, at least seven others were present at the “drugs and booze party” in the early hours of that March morning, but the individual that inflicted the “extremely violent non-consensual sexual assault, most likely rape” on this divorced father of two has disgracefully never been brought to justice.
Likely the result of a “rape so severe it could have killed him alone” and not at all likely the result of drowning, Lubbock’s death remains an unsolved crime 18 years later. Meanwhile Michael Barrymore is now seeking to revive his career and of it yesterday, The Scottish Sun reported:
ENTERTAINER Michael Barrymore is to make his TV comeback on Dancing On Ice.
Bosses reportedly feel he will have the same “comic impact” as last year’s novelty contestant Gemma Collins and will “be hilarious on the ice”.
No pressure, Michael.
That ‘The Scottish Sun’ make light of Michael Barrymore’s “comeback” is utterly reprehensible.
That Barrymore is someone who can be thought of as “hilarious” and having “comic impact” is utterly preposterous and that he was also supposedly paid £60,000 for an interview with Piers Morgan (according to Terry Lubbock, Stuart Lubbock’s father) in June 2019 is both highly distasteful and inappropriate.
We join Terry Lubbock in calling for justice for Stuart Lubbock and suggest at least one of the eight others present at the home of Michael Barrymore on 31st March 2001 must actually know how his death was actually brought about. They are:
Michael Parker (AKA Michael Barrymore) – Allegedly loudly said: “I need a f**k” in a taxi as he left the Millennium Nightclub to return to his home, the scene of the death of Stuart Lubbock. Barrymore later lied to a coroner’s court about facilitating drug taking at his house on the night in question also. He claimed to have been first to have discovered the body of Stuart Lubbock at 5.45am, called his manager Mike Brown before the ambulance arrived and then left the premises. He admits that was “wrong” and also bizarrely told Piers Morgan that in spite of “knowing others were hiding secrets about what happened to Mr. Lubbock” that “I am not going to say their names. I just hope they are brave enough to come forward one day.”
Kelly Campbell – Had met Michael Barrymore for the first time on the night of the incident. Claimed not to have been aware of what happened.
James Futters – A paper boy turned chef. Described as “a local from the village” and a “friend and neighbour of Barrymore.” Claimed to have been the first to discover the body with Simon Shaw and stated: “[It was not] Michael Barrymore and not Jonathan Kenney [who found him].” Later, of him the Evening Standardreported: “Barrymore offered James Futters a white powder on his finger saying: “Do you want to try this?” Mr Futters told the inquest that he leaned forward and licked the powder.”
Claire Jones – Then aged 17. Had met Michael Barrymore for the first time on the night of the incident. Claimed not to have been aware of what happened but told the police that she “saw Barrymore rummaging through drawers and changing his clothes before police arrived. When he left the house he had a ‘bundle of material’ under his arm,” according to the Evening Standard. “She added: ‘Jonathan (Kenney) was rushing through the bungalow before the ambulance and police arrived. I got the impression he was hiding something.’”
Jonathan Kenney – Estate agent, drag queen and Michael Barrymore’s then lover; later arrested on suspicion of murder but never charged; known for having a “record of violence.” Claimed to have been the first to have discovered the body.
Justin Merritt – A dustman from Essex. Later arrested on suspicion of murder but never charged. Later paid £30,000 by the News of the World for an interview in which he stated Barrymore had “rubbed cocaine on Stuart Lubbock’s lips shortly before he died.”
Kylie Merritt – Sister of Justin Merritt. She also alleged Barrymore “rubbed cocaine on Stuart Lubbock’s lips shortly before he died” (curiously in the wake of her brother selling his account of the night).
Simon Shaw – Described as “a local from the village.” Michael Barrymore supposedly “ran off” to Mr. Shaw’s house to “buy himself thinking time [for two hours] before he was questioned by the police [at 7.49am].”
Aside from police incompetence and missing evidence – including a pool thermometer and door handle that had been by the pool – in this case, two witnesses were allegedly “paid off” not to give evidence against Barrymore. What this “wall of silence,” as the coroner Caroline Beasley-Murray referred to it, hides may never be known but it is time each and every one of these people told the truth about what they know about the death of Stuart Lubbock. It is time that justice was finally served.
Follow Terry Lubbock and his campaign to get justice for his son on Twitter at @Terryrlubbock.
Pictured top: Michael Barrymore and helmet haired horror and convicted drunken racist Marie Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben rolling around on the floor at a charity event in 2000..
Self-obsessed ‘MeGain’ refers to herself an astonishing 38 times during a speech to launch her overpriced fashion line
The Duchess of Sussex is about one thing and that is herself. This former actress continues to act up and since marrying into the royal family has proven herself to be nothing but shameless. This week, however, this ridiculously annoying woman excelled herself and referenced her very own person 38 times during a speech.
Launching her equally ludicrous clothing range – which includes shirts priced well out of the reach of the peasant citizens of Britain she so regularly patronises with pointless platitudes – ‘MeGain’ showed herself yet again as ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and an example of somebody who believes her own damned hype.
Shame on this embarrassment. The Duchess of Sussex is now nothing other than an international laughing stock.
Desperado Lizzie Cundy yet again proves she’ll do anything to get herself on the telly in calling the Duchess of Sussex “manipulative”
Media whore Lizzie Cundy, like her tediously trivial ‘bestie’ Anthea Turner, will do just about anything to get herself on the telly box.
In appearing on Australia’s 60 Minutes to brand her former friend the Duchess of Sussex “manipulating,” Cundy – a woman who only last year attracted a headline in The Sun that tastefully read: “Lizzie Cundy flashes her knickers as she pours champagne over naked waiter” – proved herself nothing but a boring blabbermouth.
Whilst ‘MeGain’ is no favourite of ours, this “jilted friend” did not take to the media to call out her former mate in reality. Instead, the ex-Mrs Jason Cundy did it to desperately try and remain relevant herself. We say: Shame on her.
Matthew Steeples suggests Thomas Markle is right to call out his daughter’s antics for what they are: Ridiculous
‘MeGain’ (AKA The Duchess of Sussex) is allegedly jetting off to shores distant. Whilst many will be relieved that she could possibly be going to Africa or back to her native United States, one person who is rightly cross with her is her own dad.
In comments to the Mail on Sunday, Thomas Markle remarked:
“I’m sick of the lies. I’m sick of being vilified and shut out of their lives. I have to stand up for myself. I’m going to carry on speaking and I’m not going to shut up.”
“No father deserves this kind of abuse when he’s been that good to his daughter. Ask anyone who knows us both. I’ve been very kind and generous to my daughter.”
“I’ve still never met my son-in-law. Why couldn’t Prince Harry have got on a plane and flown to see me to ask for her hand? He obviously has no problem getting on private jets.”
“If he wants to come and see me on a private jet, there’s an airport near here in Tijuana, and San Diego is just over the border. There are dozens of commercial flights from England to San Diego and Los Angeles every day.”
Going further, of the criticism his daughter and Prince Harry have attracted he added:
“I feel sorry for them in a way because they brought this on themselves. You can’t say one thing and do another. You can’t portray yourself as being charitable and bringing people together and then ghost your own father and your entire family. Their treatment of me has left a lot to be desired… I’m speaking out now because they and their PR people are continuing to ghost me out of her life.”
Mr Markle sums the situation created by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex perfectly. This pair of hypocrites can’t have it both ways. They either need to develop a better strategy for dealing with those closest to them, the public in general and the media also or they need to do what most of us would prefer – Bog off to a place where they can live privately.
Ben Fogle yet again shows himself to be utterly off his merry rocker in blabbering on about ‘hopepunk’ and comparing himself to a Labrador suggests Matthew Steeples
‘Hopepunk’ has been embraced by Ben Fogle. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve never heard of it (nor had I until this morning), but that it has been taken up by a prat who previously had an “acrimonious Twitter spat” about dogs, “loves” tiles and claimed to have been “poisoned by a Russian spy” after making a total prat of himself about says it all.
Fogle – a male equivalent of Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben when it comes to making excuses about getting pissed and then trying to blame anyone but one’s self for one’s subsequent actions – this morning wrote an article for the Mail Online about ‘hopepunk.’
In it, this dimwitted prat compared himself to a labrador puppy and claimed to be a “naturally upbeat person.” He bleated on about his energy, his “love” for “life” and “people” and spoke of how he was “embracing a new movement with a slightly ridiculous name and a single mission.” That mission? “To make the world a better place.”
He jabbered on further: “Hopepunk is a spirit or a mood. It isn’t an actual thing. It is a feeling. It is the Scandinavian concept of ‘hygge’ or ‘coziness’ of the mind. It is a warm, happy, charming, uplifting concept that leaves you with a fuzzy feeling in your tummy. It is a glass half full, rose-tinted glasses that celebrate triumph over adversity.”
Supposedly “coined by a writer named Alexandra Rowland in a 2017 Tumblr post,” this load of “hopeful” nonsense has been defined by others as “vague” and “ridiculous.” That’s no doubt why Ben Fogle – a man who inspired a computer game where you got points for punching him – has embraced it.
Creosoted creature Dawn Ward snapped in fetish gear after encouraging her poor child to have a boob job
Dimwitted Dawn Ward is at it again. This tasteless vulgarian – this time in the company of another so-called ‘reality star’ and lump of plastic named Gemma Collins – published a picture of herself in the South of France at the weekend on Instagram after recently bragging about her 21-year-old child having her boobs done.
Aside from the fact that encouraging such is irresponsible enough for someone that young, 45-year-old champagne swiller Mrs Ward – the potty mouthed wag of ex-footballer Ashley Ward – was herself pictured in the Daily Mail earlier this month in fetish gear “showing off her ample assets.” The images are enough to scare the whole human race.
Earlier this year, Ward – who was convicted of assault after attacking the singer Sinitta in a “fish fueled fight” at the now defunct Salmontini restaurant in Belgravia in June 2016 – tackily quipped: “Who needs to grow old gracefully?” Amongst surgical outings she has herself had are a “bum lift,” a “blepharoplasty eye lift” and enough Botox to sink a battleship. The result? A look that was described online as “Bet Lynch on steroids.”
Elsewhere in the same rag yesterday, Ward’s chum Collins was called out for Photoshopping images of herself and for insulting larger ladies in the process. Our advice to dastardly Dawn is that she also takes up Photoshop; it’d be the perfect way to airbrush her into history.
‘The Steeple Times’ obtains the Epstein-Maxwell contact book; it makes for very interesting reading
That Jeffrey Epstein knew just about everyone was widely known, but after seeing a copy of a 95-page address book that was used by him and his ‘madam’ Ghislaine Maxwell we can reveal that some of his connections are more telling than others.
Yes, of course, there are obvious things such as 16 numbers for Prince Andrew. Others listed include the likes of Tony Blair, Michael Bloomberg, Sir Richard Branson, Bernie Ecclestone and Donald Trump, but what is fascinating are the oddities.
Some people are simply called “Robin” and other names are plainly codewords (such as “Ireland”). Interestingly there is the number for the now closed Chelsea Police Station, a direct line to the “police 24/7,” one for the Home Office and another for Scotland Yard. “Why on earth did this dastardly duo require such connections?” is most definitely now the question.
Aside from the many numbers of girls for “massage,” it is the number of Brits and especially the number of British society figures that surprises. Here’s a list where you’ll find Bunty Worcester and Caroline Stanbury and here’s a list that includes Andy Wong, Shaun Woodward, Andrew Neil and Deborah Moore also.
Those in this address book must accept one thing and that is that given this scandal is only deepening, their associations will inevitably be further examined. Most of them were no doubt not aware of the murkiness of the pair they had connected with, but some of them plainly either turned a blind eye or joined in even. It is time that some of them explained themselves. To paraphrase Mrs Merton, one has to ask: “What first attracted you to £475 million man Jeffrey Epstein?”
Bernie Ecclestone finally finds himself some ‘friends’; Prince Charles talks to plants, Bernie Ecclestone talks to pigeons
Most people consider city pigeons – but certainly not their country cousins, the wood pigeon – to be pests. Some would go as far as to term them “flying rats,” but plainly Bernie Ecclestone feels to the contrary.
Pictured in the city of Dubrovnik in Croatia at the weekend after a lunch with a squawking bird he plainly likes named Geri Halliwell (given he sported merchandise from her Spice Girls days previously), the diminutive dwarf Ecclestone was snapped creepily crouching over a flight of pigeons.
The “extraordinary and gross dialect” that is known as “Pigeon English” may have found a new rival; be prepared for the arrival of “Pigeon Bernie.” That’s a language we’d certainly suggest needs immediately stamping out.
Bernie Ecclestone and his current wife Fabiana Flosi lunched with Geri Halliwell and her husband Christian Horner in Dubrovnik, Croatia on Saturday. The party were described as looking “in high spirits.”Bernie and friends.
