Max’s smalls

There’s nothing worse than being Max Clifford

 

‘Grubby publicist’ has been the description that has been attached to Max Clifford for many years but with his conviction yesterday on eight counts of indecent assault, that can now be replaced by ‘sexual abuser’, ‘liar’ and most tellingly ‘the man with the small penis’.

 

Clifford’s clients have included desirable sorts such as OJ Simpson, Rebecca Loos and the five men who were suspected of killing the black teenager Stephen Lawrence. He is an individual who has thrived on peddling lies, “deceiving people” and “creating false images” and one who once stated:

 

“I’ve got all the evidence. I’m the 
one whose hidden it from the world. I know where everything is and where the evidence… the proof is. Ten, twenty, thirty years go by and no one 
in the world knows”.

 

This 2007 letter to Viz sums up what many feel about Max Clifford
This 2007 letter to Viz sums up what many feel about Max Clifford

This mural of Max Clifford appeared on a wall in Battersea in March 2014
This mural of Max Clifford appeared on a wall in Battersea in March 2014

Here also is a man that a Chelsea restaurateur described to me last night as someone they’d banned from their premises because of how “rude” he was to their staff and here is a man who had to pay Neil and Christine Hamilton substantial damages after he repeated tawdry allegations about them and defamed their characters on national television. After that verdict in 2005, Clifford commented:

 

“I’m much happier being Max Clifford than being Neil or Christine Hamilton. I couldn’t imagine anything worse”.

 

Facing jail as he awaits sentencing on Friday, Simon Cowell’s publicist will now come to regret that remark. The truth is there’s actually nothing worse than being Max Clifford.

 

 

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18 COMMENTS

  1. The British media and entertainment industry have known this for many decades, as the many charities that honoured him with the trusted position of patron. It reflects very badly on his high profile clients. How can we ever take them seriously again in the future?

      • Yes who will he take with him? I attended several gatherings last year and this subject (if Max Clifford would be found guilty) came up on quite a few occasions. Those who brought up the subject nodded at me sagely telling me ‘Max will go down’. I replied, ‘well, if he goes down a lot of others will go down with him – he knows so much about everyone else,’. To which they all replied ‘No they won’t.’

        ‘What do you mean they won’t go down, if he goes to prison, he’ll take others with him’. I said.

        ‘He will not take others with him.’ they all replied. I am sure they know a lot more about this than I do, and the tangled web of networking, but I felt as though I was in the middle of spy thriller and I hadn’t been told the plot.

        I interviewed Max a few years ago once. I was interviewing him about infidelity, as he seemed to spend time keeping the infidelities of his clients out of the press so I thought he would know a lot about it (I was writing a novel about it at the time). He was very civil and asked me to keep my microphone off which I did. I asked if he wrote any of what he knew down on paper. He pointed to his head and tapped it. ‘No it’s all up here.’ Perhaps its safer for him that way.

  2. Forget the high profile idiots that supported him, how about the press who paid him for his stories and never asked any awkward questions. Was never given an uncomfortable interview in his life – apart from Hardtalk where he walked off!! They were all duped or turned a blind eye because they made money. What a sad celebrity culture we have in this country where people are actually interested in this trash. George Orwell 1984!

  3. Show us yer dick……….ha!ha! (Sorry, could’nt resist…..by the way, who says it’s small……Porkie the Pokie?!..)

  4. Simon Cowell sacks Max Clifford as his publicist, he is horrified, he never suspected Clifford to be of poor character. He was stunned when he discovered Jonathan King was a paedophile, and accidentally posted his bail. Hombre Simon Cowell is either a liar or very naïve. Britain certainly has talent.

  5. It is not exactly the clash of the small penis. There is so much outrages humour in all of this, that I can not control myself. Max brokered so many stories for Simon Cowell, retail magnate Theo Paphitis telecoms giant Peter Jones. Cowell admitted to sleeping with 2000 women. Really? Sounds like the small cock syndrome to me? They can all enter the dragon now.

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