Tag: royal

The MeGain & Randy Show
It’s time for the ‘MeGain & Randy Show’… As dopey dipstick Diane Abbott MP sticks her gumboots into the fallout of the Duchess of Sussex’s car crash interview, the scandalous Prince Andrew should again be called to answer questions

Bombastic blabbermouth Diane Abbott MP has been unusually quiet for months. Yes, she’s had to deal with the fallout of her beastlike son biting police officers, but since she was turfed off the front benches when her one-time motorbiking sexual partner Jeremy Corbyn fell, we’ve not even heard of any conundrums with calculators or mojito can slurping calamities on a train by her even.

This morning, however, seizing on an opportunity to shove her gibberish filled gumboots back into the fray in the wake of the Duchess of Sussex’s Prince Andrew-esque interview, Abbott decided to chuck a hand grenade into the mix and told the Guardian:

“One of the most upsetting things is when people, meaning well, will say: ‘Oh, but Diane, you’re so strong.’ Nobody is that strong. Nobody can take the sort of abuse that Meghan had to take and that I’ve had to take. And by dismissing it by saying: ‘Oh, black women are strong,’ that’s denying our humanity.”

“For a lot of black and mixed-race women, when they can look at what we’re now hearing, what’s happening to Meghan, they can realise: if this can happen to her and if it could be so crushing and humiliating to her, I can face up to how that sort of thing makes me feel.”

“We shouldn’t internalise the idea that we’re not supposed to feel vulnerable, we’re not supposed to get upset, and we should have people around us that we can confide in, or we can be open with. Otherwise, it’s incredibly corrosive.”

Going further, on Radio 4 later, Abbott added:

“[Palace officials] clearly very soon did not welcome a mixed race woman marrying into the Royal Family… There has got to be very serious reflection. They need to look at some of the people that work at Buckingham Palace.”

“I don’t think they necessarily need to get into a tit for tat publicly but they do need to think hard about some of the attitudes of the courtiers, the aides the advisers who are in Buckingham Palace because it is clear that on that level they didn’t adjust well to having a mixed-race woman marry into the Royal Family.”

“[The media want to] tear down a woman for no apparent reason.”

Whilst the brain of Britain that isn’t Miss Abbott’s influence in this matter will likely not go far, elsewhere in the Guardian this morning, the paper’s Ben Quinn reported that Gloria Allred, a lawyer for some of Jeffrey Epstein’s victims, “has suggested that Buckingham Palace’s plans to examine bullying allegations against the Duchess of Sussex are a “calculated decision” to take the focus off Prince Andrew.”

Speaking of alleged bullying by the Duchess of Sussex specifically, Allred told the paper:

“Allegations about him are far worse than the allegations about Meghan Markle. Prince Andrew was a working royal when he became a friend of Jeffrey Epstein, who was a sexual predator… Prince Andrew is accused of much more than bullying or harassment in the workplace.”

“Why does Buckingham Palace not conduct an investigation and make a public statement condemning Prince Andrew for failing to provide what is requested to those who are seeking the whole truth and justice for the victims of crimes against children?”

“Why has Prince Andrew not been stripped of the royal titles that he enjoys, as has been the case for Meghan and Harry? He has certainly not brought dignity and respect to his work as a royal.”

“The investigation into Meghan Markle is a distraction, and it appears hypocritical under the circumstances. I have to wonder if it reflects a calculated decision to take the focus off of Prince Andrew.

“It is long overdue for the palace to change its priorities and announce that it is conducting its own investigation of Prince Andrew. In addition, it should immediately issue a statement condemning Prince Andrew for failing to provide full in-person cooperation in the ongoing criminal investigation by the United States justice department.”

Now, today, we join those calling for ‘Randy Andy’ to finally do the decent thing: Be a good boy and go to America and answer the FBI’s perfectly reasonable questions about your involvement with the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell and your conveniently croaked ‘bestie’ Jeffrey Epstein.

The MeGain & Randy Show – For months now, people have been asking of Diane Abbott: “Have you seen this woman?” Well, this morning she predictably resurfaced and stuck her gumboots into the fallout of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s disastrous interview with Oprah Winfrey.

The MeGain & Randy Show – The “publicity shy” Duchess of Sussex (or Meghan Markle as she then was) used to be happy to hang around with publicity loving Lizzie Cundy. Whether she actually “ghosted” her former ‘friend’ and Piers Morgan is also debatable.

The confusion of the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle

Whilst the Duchess of Sussex’s outlandish claims have been widely drilled into this morning by the international media, here are a few other questions she and her ‘drip’ of a husband could do with addressing:
- What was the then Meghan Markle’s association with Prince Andrew prior to meeting Prince Harry? Are there any truths to allegations that she was caught cavorting with ‘Randy Andy’ on a yacht many years ago?
- Given ‘MeGain’ banged on about her friendship with Prince Andrew’s daughters prior to meeting Prince Harry in the Oprah interview, is there really any truth to her having never Googled the royal family or researched them with a view to seeking them out?
- Did the then Meghan Markle really “ghost” her supposed chums Lizzie Cundy and Piers Morgan or are they both just getting rather carried away with their own attention seeking agendas?
- Prior to marrying into the royal family and since, has ‘MeGain’ “organised pap shots” of herself?
- Why did the Duchess of Sussex lie and claim she hadn’t met her half-sister in over 20 years when photographic evidence shows quite to the contrary 13 years ago?
- Why didn’t the Duchess of Sussex simply show herself to be a bigger person and make amends with her own father instead of going to war on him? If she had simply behaved with dignity and made one less enemy, wouldn’t she have been perceived as a far better person?
- Why is the Duchess of Sussex claiming that the royal family “silenced” her at the same time as repeatedly giving interviews to the international media and taking the dime of the hardly quiet Netflix and Spotify?
- Why are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex now suggesting they were “cut of financially” by the royal family when they previously stated they “wanted to be financially independent”?
- Why do ‘MeGain’ and her drip husband think they should be entitled to have the public pay for their security when they turned their backs on public duty for first “privacy” and then personal profit?
- If ‘MeGain’ wanted such a “simple life,” why did she seek out a career first in acting and then get herself into a relationship with a member of the royal family?
- Why, subsequently, did this woman with a desire for “ordinariness” then return to Los Angeles and sign deals with the likes of Disney, Netflix and Spotify?
- Has ‘MeGain’ ever used body doubles of herself and her son, Archie?
- Did the Duchess of Sussex make up that she had already been married to Prince Harry for three days when she walked down the aisle on 19^th May 2018?
- How many times has ‘MeGain’ actually been married? Twice or three times?
The MeGain & Randy Show – The Duchess of Sussex’s claim that she hadn’t seen her half-sister Samantha Markle in 20 years has been proven to be a lie by fact of this photograph.

The MeGain & Randy Show – The Duchess of Sussex also stands accused of organising paparazzi to take photographs of her, yet hypocritically still moans and bangs on about press intrusion.

The MeGain & Randy Show – Ever since she came to public prominence, social media has been awash with rumours about the Duchess of Sussex and her use of body doubles and some go further even and remarkably suggest she faked her pregnancy even.

The MeGain & Randy Show – Elsehwere on social media, this image of graffiti that read “Prince Andew is still a nonce” trended. Contrary to what many suggest, however, it is quite possible to actually dislike the behaviour of both the Duchess of Sussex and Duke of York as the two are not mutually connected.

The MeGain & Randy Show – Those “in the know” continue to question when Meghan Markle first met Prince Andrew and what went on between them prior to her marriage to the alleged sexual abuser’s nephew.
March 9, 2021
Heirless – Hair Horror

As wicked witch heiress Ghislaine Maxwell complains about losing her hair and being “forced to clean a shower with a broom,” her ‘bestie’ Prince Andrew trended on Twitter for all the wrong reasons

Yesterday, deservedly never-now-to-be-an-heir to the monarch ‘Randy’ Prince Andrew trended on Twitter. Mocked as a result of Piers Morgan commenting about the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle yet swerving the Duke of York’s failure to report to the FBI for questioning, the social media outlet’s users then turned on his one-time ‘bestie’ Ghislaine Maxwell after her lawyer blubbed about her hair falling out and her being forced to do a bit of hard labour with a broomstick.

Reporting on the matter, the New York Post quoted a letter from Bobbi Sternheim, a lawyer for the mucky madam and heiress to the disgrace that was Robert Maxwell. It read:

“Ms. Maxwell continues to be at the mercy of a revolving group of security officers who are used to guarding hundreds of inmates but now focus their undivided attention exclusively on one respectful, middle-aged female pretrial detainee.”

“Recently, out of view of the security camera, Ms. Maxwell was placed in her isolation cell and physically abused during a pat down search.”

“When she asked that the camera be used to capture the occurrence, a guard replied ‘no.’”

“When Ms. Maxwell recoiled in pain and when she said she would report the mistreatment, she was threatened with disciplinary action.”

“She is withering to a shell of her former self – losing weight, losing hair, and losing her ability to concentrate.”

“Having been incarcerated in de facto solitary confinement for 225 days and monitored by two to six guards 24 hours a day with a handheld camera dedicated to capturing her every move, except when it would record improper conduct on the part of the guards, it is not surprising that Ms. Maxwell feels she is detained under the control of the Bureau of ‘Pretrial Punishment.’”

Other complaints made on behalf of Maxwell, the DailyMail.com later reported, have included that she has “been deprived of sleep and given inedible food.” They added: “Sternheim went on to claim that surveillance of her client is so strict that ‘guards forbid’ Maxwell from standing in certain areas of her six-foot-by-nine-foot cell, including telling her not to stand to the left or right over her toilet.”

Supposedly also, Maxwell “has never received a properly heated meal,” been forced to drink “odorous tap water” and jail staff microwave her food “in a container that is not meant for use in a microwave.” Sternheim added: “Ms. Maxwell’s food either does not defrost the food or disintegrates it and melts the plastic container, rendering the food inedible.”

Diddums, Ghislaine. What will this wicked witch want next (aside from a desk, more computers and Krug on tap)? A visit from the Pointless Celebrities crimper Nicky Clarke OBE?

Pictured top: Heir-to-robber-baron Robert Maxwell pictured with his then-with-plenty-of-hair daughter Ghislaine Maxwell (left); now heir-to-nowt Prince Andrew guffawing whilst in the company of toady ‘Telegraph’ typist Camilla Tominey.

Heirless – Hair Horror – Ghislaine Maxwell has sported many different hairstyles over the years. Now, apparently, like the witch she has certainly become, it’s all falling out.

Heirless – Hair Horror – A snap of Jeffrey Epstein together with Prince Andrew walking next to signage reading ‘Together’ in 2010 (left); their mutual ‘bestie’ is currently incarcerated in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.

Heirless – Hair Horror – Amongst the mockery circulating on Twitter about Prince Andrew recently has been a diagram describing what’s been “useless since Fergie left” (Prince Andrew numbers alongside Man United and the Black Eyed Peas) and a captioned photograph of Prince Charles and Her Majesty The Queen supposedly watching ‘The Crown.’ It is accompanied by a speech bubble reading: “Fast forward to the bit where Andrew goes to jail.”

February 17, 2021
Farting Fergie

Sarah Ferguson gets overexcited over a farting book, but still hasn’t declared if she’s repaid a loan from paedo Jeffrey Epstein

Somewhat simple Sarah Ferguson – a wack job who still hasn’t declared whether she ever repaid money she took as a loan from the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein – took to YouTube this week to read a “scratch and sniff unicorn fart book.”

Whilst well-known as a lover of having her tepid toes sucked in the past, Pizza Express (Woking branch) loving ‘Randy Andy’s’ live-in ex-wife enthusiasm for a book about “emitting wind from the anus” was subsequently described as her showing she’s “ever the working girl” according to the MailOnline’s Claire Toureille.

Fergie’s farts, however, have yet to gain gas and go viral. In spite of a further article by Craig Brown in the Daily Mail which asked if the fruitcake known as the former Meghan Markle would be doing a follow-up fart “30 years from now,” just 835 people have actually bothered to watch this one-time royal bang on about flatulence.

Famous Farts

Roald Dahl, The BFG

“A whizzpopper!” cried the BFG, beaming at her. “Us giants is making whizzpoppers all the time! Whizzpopping is a sign of happiness. It is music in our ears! You surely is not telling me that a little whizzpopping if forbidden among human beans?”

Ernest Hemmingway, 88 Poems

“Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.

Come let us fart in the home.

There is no art in a fart.

Still a fart may not be artless.

Let us fart and artless fart in the home.”

Robert Rinder

“I can smell a liar like a fart in a lift!”

Farting Fergie – What will Her Majesty The Queen make of Sarah, Duchess of York’s decision to share stories with the world via YouTube about farting?

Farting Fergie – In February 2018, the ‘Mirror’ reported that: “The Queen once got accused of farting loudly and trying to blame it on the horses.” They remarked: “The Queen is probably one of the last people on earth you can imagine farting in public. Not only would it be mortifying to accidentally let rip while meeting her subjects, the whole world would soon get to know about it.”

Farting Fergie – ‘Fergie’s’ non-sweating ex-husband Prince Andrew was widely mocked after claiming to distinctly remember a visit to Pizza Express in Woking on the day he allegedly had sex with the then teenage Virginia Roberts, now Giuffre, in 2001. During his juggernaut crashworthy interview with Emily Maitlis in November 2019, he remarked: “I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a Pizza Express in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there.” Whether he actually attended has since been disputed and whether he actually consumed pizza and whether it caused him to fart remains still unknown.

Farting Fergie – On Thursday 20th August 1992, the ‘Daily Mirror’ shared what they called “the pictures they didn’t want you to see.” In them, a topless Duchess of York was shown having her toes sucked in the South of France by a Texan millionaire named John Bryan. Of the incident, the ‘Mirror’ later reported: “Royal writer Richard Kay claimed in the ‘Daily Mail’ that he received a message via pager from Princess Diana the night before the photos hit the newspaper stands. Diana’s message was simple: ‘The redhead’s in trouble.’”

Farting Fergie – Sarah, Duchess of York pictured with the since incarcerated Ghislaine Maxwell at an opening party at Asprey in 2003. It remains unknown as to whether ‘Fergie’ ever repaid a loan from the mucky madam’s now croaked boss Jeffrey Epstein, but this week a New York court threw out mendacious Maxwell’s bid to keep her 2016 testimony about sex toys sealed.

February 11, 2021
Word of the Week 2021 – ‘Meghan Markled’

The tedious twerp formerly known as Meghan Markle has had her maiden name turned into both a verb and a noun – go get ‘Meghan Markled’

Last week, both the Guardian and The Sun revealed a note of amusement in the context of the otherwise tedious familial feud between the devious Duchess of Sussex and her fobbed-off father in sharing that the walk-away royal has had her maiden name turned into a verb.

Whilst The Sun predictably mocked this trivial story at a time of a lack of news other than coronavirus, the Guardian’s “social justice” focused columnist Poppy Noor unsurprisingly lauded “to Meghan Markle” – or as she somewhat soppily put it, “to get the hell out [when] love is not returned.”

Noor went further and, in a decidedly ‘woke’ fashion, added of the Duchess of Sussex’s decision to head off to the land of profit in LA: “You could understand why Meghan Markle, who opted out of royalty this month after a year of being hounded and vilified by a racist, rightwing press could be referred to in some circles as the patron saint of good mental health” and shared a definition

“Meghan Markle, a verb, past tense – Meghan Markled: to value yourself and your mental health enough to up and leave a room/ situation/ environment in which your authentic self is not welcomed or wanted.”

Elsewhere previously, in January 2018, the Urban Dictionary took another view on what being ‘Meghan Markle’ and being ‘Meghan Markled’ means. They suggested it to be a “noun for coming up nicely despite your family’s socio-economic status.”

Putting it in context, they gave an example:

“A: I wonder how Lisa is doing. I haven’t spoken to her since her family drama situation. Poor thing.”

“B: Girl, she’s engaged to a Russian billionaire now. She Meghan Markle’d her way to the top!”

We’ll leave it to you, good readers, to decide which you prefer, but one thing’s for sure the saga of the attention obsessed ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her row with the media: It isn’t going to end any time soon.

Word of the Week 2021 – ‘Meghan Markled’ – The Duchess of Sussex has most definitely ‘Meghan Markled’ her way to the top and, along with her drip of a husband, is cashing in with huge payments from projects with Apple, Disney, Netflix and Spotify amongst other things.

January 25, 2021
Ghastly Ghislaine Goes 50/1

Odds of Donald Trump pardoning mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell move to 50/1 from 3/1 earlier just as Joe Exotic’s supporters start planning a “pizza party” for him

Whilst yesterday, Sports Betting Dime were reporting that the odds of Ghislaine Maxwell getting a pardon before the 45^th POTUS departs tomorrow had moved to 50/1 from 3/1 in December, this morning the author Kirby Sommers tweeted to the contrary and suggested: “Trump would be very inclined to pardon Maxwell even without a bribe.”

With other Twitter users echoing that sentiment of it being “highly likely for her to be freed” because “she has the Epstein money and the secrets” and her “being the worst one on the list [of 100 likely pardons] 100%,” the true prospect of Maxwell joining another possible recipient, Joe Exotic, for a “huge party… with pizza, steak and a McRib from McDonald’s” tomorrow however, does now actually seem as far-fetched as Madeleine McCann riding in on Shergar the racehorse.

Indeed, stranger things have happened, but we’d argue that even Trump – a deranged dope with plenty of problems of his own to face once he’s out of the safe confines of the White House, financial, legal and there otherwise – will pass on “going out with a bang” in spite of his previous “good wishes” to ‘Grubby Ghislaine.’ If that proves to be the case, it’ll be about the only decent decision he makes before leaving office.

Elsewhere, today at 10am EST (3pm GMT), Loretta A. Preska, Senior United States District Judge in the Southern District of New York Court, will consider unsealing further documents in the case of Virginia L. Giuffre v Ghislaine Maxwell. That matter has yet to attract much mainstream media attention, but boy could that actually be the dynamite that ‘Mucky Maxwell’s’ lackey Brian Basham might wish to not having to peddle his paws around.

To follow and support the work of Kirby Sommers on Patreon, click here.

Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Donald Trump’s friendship with both Jeffrey Epstein and his mendacious madam Ghislaine Maxwell is well documented. Here, the 45th President of the United States of America is pictured with the croaked paedophile and his very own children.

Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Widely acclaimed author and sex slave survivor Kirby Sommers has tweeted extensively about the likelihood of Donald Trump pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell in recent days.

Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Twitter users remain convinced in the main that Ghislaine Maxwell WILL get a pardon from Donald Trump.

Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – ‘Miami Herald’ investigative journalist and author of a soon-to-be-published HarperCollins book about Jeffrey Epstein Julie K. Brown went further and suggested of the chance of a pardon for Robert Maxwell’s degenerate daughter: “After the past two weeks, nothing seems impossible.”

Ghislaine Maxwell Goes 50/1 – Twitter user Derek MacEwen asked: “Who will be first to be pardoned – Ghislaine Maxwell or Joe Exotic?” Yesterday, the DailyMail.com reported that “Joe Exotic’s camp is preparing for a possible pardon” and claimed they “already have a limousine parked about half a mile from the prison.” No mention was made of any such vehicle being stationed ready to whisk Ghislaine Maxwell away from the notoriously “hellish” Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.

Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Yesterday, Ghislaine Maxwell’s accuser Virginia Giuffre announced she’d be taking a break from Twitter after revelations that representatives for Prince Andrew and Sarah, Duchess of York had been approaching a troll named Molly Skye Brown – a woman who has also trolled both Kirby Sommers and ‘The Steeple Times’ amongst others.

Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Today marks another major stage in the court case of Virginia L. Giuffre v Ghislaine Maxwell with a conference call to decide whether further documents will be unsealed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrSRWCwaJho&feature=youtu.be
Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – On the 15^th January on YouTube, Shaun Attwood shared further news about the Epstein-Maxwell saga and reported on a new lawsuit being launched against the dastardly duo’s associate Leslie Wexner.

January 19, 2021
Archewell OFF!

Matthew Steeples suggests the best thing to do with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ on Spotify is to turn it off

“Oh, he has a podcast voice” simpered the Duchess of Sussex as she began her Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ for Spotify. “Thank you for joining, we’re glad you’re here,” added her drip of a husband as they careered into a car crash of a “stand-alone special.”

“Thank you guys” the pair chirped of healthcare workers and then the drivel well and truly commenced. “We asked a few friends and a whole load of other folks [to help us justify our £40 million ($54.5 million, €44.4 million or درهم200 million) fee from Spotify]” continued moolah minded ‘MeGain’ as she no doubt imagined the kerchinging of notes flying into her bank account.

With a lot of “jump ins” and “grabbing [of] cosy beverages if you can,” this 33:21 minute “reflection” of how “2020 has connected us in ways we’d never have imagined through endless acts of kindness and compassion” is actually nothing other than turnoff-able.

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Archewell OFF! – The couple were deservedly mocked on social media when their Spotify podcast was announced. On Twitter, one user, Max Burns justifiably remarked: “Prince Harry and Meghan Markle left the Royal Family because they sought the same kind of normal, private life regular people enjoy. They longed for life’s simple and anonymous pleasures, like launching a new heavily publicised podcast and national promotional tour.”

December 30, 2020
The Filthy Money of Maxwell (and Borgerson and Epstein)

As two associates of Jeffrey Epstein and Prince Andrew get snared, the money of Ghislaine Maxwell (and her supposed “boss”) starts to be clawed back for victims

Just as the monstrous molesting model boss Jean-Luc Brunel (famed for supposedly supplying Jeffrey Epstein with two 8-year-old girls as a birthday gift) and the dirty designer Peter Nygard (best known for having an “orgy pit” on his private jet and holidaying with ‘Randy Andy’ and his family) deservedly got themselves arrested this week, the shit also hit the fan of the finances of Ghislaine Maxwell and the estate of her late paedophile “boss.”

Whilst many justifiably believe Maxwell was actually the mistress of the money rather than the ex-school teacher Epstein himself – given some £500 million of her father’s ill-gotten gains vanished prior to her move to New York in the wake of him “falling” off the back of his yacht – the ability of Scott Borgerson, the 58-year-old mucky madam’s 44-year-old husband, to find the £23 million of wonga he’s using to try to get her bail should also be examined. “Where is this cash coming from?” should be the question the authorities should be shouting out.

Elsewhere, in the wake of Artnet News revealing that “prosecutors are issuing subpoenas to Sotheby’s and Christie’s” demanding they “turn over documents relating to Epstein’s art purchases,” the Mirror exclusively revealed this morning that the first two “victims” of the croaked criminal “have now agreed [thus far undisclosed] cash settlements with the billionaire financier’s estate.”

It is now time that justice was done for all who’ve suffered at the hands of this elite excrement and it is especially time that non-sweating, horse allergic Prince Andrew came forward and told the truth to the FBI about what he really knows. Of course, sadly, he won’t.

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Author Kirby Sommers shared the supposed first photograph of Ghislaine Maxwell with her now husband Scott Borgerson on her Twitter feed yesterday, whilst the ’New York Post’ reported that it was taken in 2013 at the Arctic Circle assembly in Reykjavik, Iceland in October 2013. Speakers at the event included Hillary Clinton and Google chairman Eric Schmidt.

Nobody has ever managed to convincingly managed to explain where Jeffrey Epstein’s billions came from. Nobody has ever convincingly explained where his ex-lover Ghislaine Maxwell’s deceased daddy’s missing millions went either.

December 18, 2020
Dining With The Dopey Dorks

Prince Andrew and his daughter’s dining habits – and the tall tales about did-he-or-didn’t-he go to Pizza Express (Woking branch) – get this dopey dork-like pair into hot water yet again

Prince Andrew wants to be remembered for going to ‘nanny’s day off’ eateries like Pizza Express to get a non-sweaty alibi. He likely won’t. His daughter, Princess Beatrice, doesn’t want to be remembered for going to chi-chi Mayfair munching spots like Isabel for rule breaking rendezvous. She most definitely did.

Here, in yet another case of ‘like-father-like-daughter’ (no doubt guided by the advice of the childlike live-in ex-wife and mother Sarah Ferguson), these royal embarrassments have shoved their hooves into the proverbial yet again. As self-entitled and dumb as they are, will this thicko family never learn?

Whilst Princess Beatrice has been slammed for ‘doing a Kay Burley’ and breaching Tier 2 Covid regulations by The Sun, the fact that her dad ‘Randy Andy’s’ Pizza Express alibi has been basically trash canned is proof that the House of York should now be the one family in Britain actually adapting Boris Johnson’s monotonous mantra. Instead of: “Stay at Home, Save Lives,” it’s time for these rotten royals to: “Stay at Home, Stop the Lies.” A Bachelors Cup-A-Soup for dinner, Beatrice?

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Dining With The Dorks – The Duke of York’s seemingly preposterous Pizza Express Woking alibi has deservedly been the source of ridicule now for more than a year. Here is a man, after all, who’s known for his love of spending other peoples’ money enjoying luxuries such as Bentleys, helicopters and private jets and for enjoying the company of the notorious skinflint Bernie Ecclestone.

Dining With The Dorks – Of Princess Beatrice’s dinner at Isabel, one fellow diner told ‘The Sun’: “Bea should be setting a better example. I couldn’t believe my eyes. If the royal family can’t get coronavirus rules right, what hope for the rest of us? … One of my pals saw her and started joking, ‘Orf with her head’ and ‘Send her to the Tower.’”

Dining With The Dorks – Whilst Prince Andrew likes to go low-key and dine at Pizza Express (Woking branch), his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson likes to live it up in ‘Celebrity Waitrose’ in Belgravia. If she simply took her family home a few ‘Meal Deals,’ she could save the House of York a lot of embarrassment. Get to it ‘Queen of Toe Sucking!’

December 14, 2020
Randy’s Anniversary

EXCLUSIVE – On the first anniversary of ‘Randy Andy’ Prince Andrew’s juggernaut wreck BBC interview about Jeffrey Epstein, authors Nigel Cawthorne and Kirby Sommers share their thoughts with ‘The Steeple Times’ reports Matthew Steeples

Exactly one year ago this evening, Prince Andrew no doubt sat down in an armchair with his batshit bonkers live-in ex-wife ‘Fergie’ onside ready to heap congratulations upon his chubby ego. The telly box centre stage in Royal Lodge, the toe sucking lover was no doubt whacking back a vat or ten of bubbles and munching on a sledge of sausages. Boringly, the non-sweater was likely just dribbling into a Diet Coke.

Pizza Express junkie ‘Randy Andy’ – whom also counts Goga Ashkenazi, Bernie Ecclestone and Tarek Kaituni amongst his curious collection of cash tin collector chums – probably smugly anticipated facing the media the next morning to “draw a line under [his] links to the wealthy paedophile” Jeffrey Epstein. He perhaps expected an army of adoration and a flurry of forgiveness from the nation, but what happened next proved to be the beginning of his decidedly deserved downfall.

Speaking to The Steeple Times exclusively to mark the first anniversary of the Duke of York’s juggernaut wreck of an interview with Emily Maitlis for the BBC, Kirby Sommers, an activist, feminist, author and sex slave survivor, remarked:

“What has been fascinating one year after the disastrous interview Prince Andrew gave to the BBC is that Ghislaine Maxwell did not make a public statement of any sort in his defence. My take on this is not just an on-going acceptance that he lied and in fact did have sex with Virginia Giuffre, a trafficked victim of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, but that in addition to this: Maxwell would face a second slander lawsuit from Giuffre should she claim ‘Virginia is lying about Prince Andrew and nothing happened.’ Maxwell settled the first defamation lawsuit with Giuffre in 2017.”

“Prince Andrew’s ill-advised interview showed the world he depended on Jeffrey Epstein for financial advice and introductions on Wall Street. It appears he received additional perks from his friendship with Epstein. Furthermore, it is painfully clear to all who follow this case that Ghislaine Maxwell was not the ‘plus one’ the prince claimed her to be. His friendship with Epstein appears to have been more important than any previous relationship he may have had with Maxwell.”

“It is also apparent there are forces at work to continue to keep Prince Andrew from admitting guilt. His name was redacted in the documents that were just released from the Giuffre v Maxwell lawsuit. It is, however, in keeping with the methodology: his name, if you recall, was asked not to be mentioned by a judge in lawsuits against Jeffrey Epstein.”

“His popularity has disappeared. His name is scorned. The palace has even removed his Twitter handle from their website and souvenirs bearing his likeness from their gift shop.”

“What has to happen at this point is Prince Andrew must take responsibility for his actions. He cannot continue to be a pampered child as he approaches his 61^st birthday. If not for himself, if not for his children, if not for Virginia Giuffre, then he must do so for the monarchy.”

Adding his thoughts and sharing his extensive knowledge on this first anniversary, Nigel Cawthorne, author of Prince Andrew: Epstein, Maxwell and the Palace, told The Steeple Times late Sunday:

“What do you do if you shoot yourself in the foot in front of millions of people and you are a soldier at heart? This was Prince Andrew’s night-time puzzle a year ago. You march on and hope that you won’t ambush yourself again, he must have thought.”

“Unfortunately, the prince was not blessed with good luck. He scored another own body blow when his words angered the US Attorney investigating Epstein’s sex ring so much that the full force of US legal power abroad was deployed to try and get the prince’s testimony.”

“Since the prince is his own worst enemy, there really is no telling what will happen next. Although November 2020 is only the anniversary of the interview, the palace’s ‘Epstein Affair’ has been gathering momentum for almost a decade. It has been so spectacularly mishandled that it could go any which way at this point, which makes it a far absorbing drama than Meghan and Harry’s even if the backdrop couldn’t be more tawdry.”

“Is he the typical – and now much maligned – middle-aged white male relying on privilege as Epstein’s victims say, or a victim of the victims as he has solidly maintained throughout? Andrew has consistently categorically denied all allegations against him. Though soon a grandfather, the prince is unlikely voluntarily to hang up his crown any time soon.”

Likely to lose all his titles by the end of the year, Prince Andrew’s ‘annus horribilis’ is complete. The Queen is supposedly not talking to him and now the cryptically coded message we published in January from The Times (which again follows below and which could indeed have been from Ghislaine Maxwell perhaps) now likely will prove true. No more “good wishes” need follow after this anniversary.

In Memoriam – Private

TO ANDREW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

Did you ever love someone deeply, and out they didn’t love you?

Did you ever feel they weren’t kind to you, and wonder what you should do?

Did you ever blindly trust in love, but your love didn’t want to stay?

Love only causes problems, it happens every day

You wonder how they can sleep at night

You wonder how they can feel delight

You wonder how love could ever feel light

When you are left weighed down by fright

Love hurts so much, the price you pay is high

Choosing between love and death, I’d much prefer to die

Take my advice, don’t fall in love, you’ll get hurt before it’s through

You see, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.

Pictured top: Prior to his disastrous interview, ‘Air Miles Andy’ used to jet around the world smirking with foreign dignitaries and dodgy dictators. He must truly miss those jollies and especially all that jetting. Now, on the anniversary of this juggernaut wreck, this smug sop finds himself nothing other than a social pariah.

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Randy’s Anniversary – That photo (Prince Andrew, Virginia Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell): This image undoubtedly remains likely to be the ultimate source of Prince Andrew’s undoing. He continues to deny it as a fake, but he’s failed to prove it to be such and on the anniversary of the BBC interview, his future looks even more bleak.

Randy’s Anniversary – Sausage muncher Sarah Ferguson was variously said to be the person who encouraged and the person whom discouraged Prince Andrew to give the interview. Given her childlike style, we’d suggest the former.

Randy’s Anniversary – In the year since ‘Andrewgate,’ Ghislaine Maxwell – pictured here with Kira Faiman and fellow jailbird Martha Stewart – has hit the clink. Remarkably, the Duke of York last met with the breathtakingly arrogant mucky madam in June 2019 when she was in London for the Cash & Rocket London-Monte Carlo ‘charity’ rally.

Randy’s Anniversary – A captioned image of the Queen with Boris Johnson that went viral shortly after the interview has proven partially true. ‘Bosie The Clown’ has certainly delivered on the “really stupid” front, but equally ‘Randy Andy’ and ‘Fergie’ have kept on shoving their gumboots in the proverbial.

Randy’s Anniversary – The ultimate impact of the interview was perfectly summed up by the ‘New York Post’ and on the anniversary of it, this arrogant prat finds himself seeking ever deeper into the sewage tank.

November 16, 2020
Fergie’s Banger Clanger

As the anniversary of Prince Andrew’s car crash interview approaches, Sarah Ferguson pulls another clanger and bangs on about sausages in a feature for ‘The Sun’

On a day when sausage rolls are trending on Twitter with the hashtag #ASausageCaRoll, Sarah Ferguson just couldn’t help but get in on the act.

After sharing crazed videos of herself playing with cupcakes – which she bizarrely termed ‘bathtub teddies’ in spite of the sexual abuse allegations about what her ex-husband got upto in Ghislaine Maxwell’s tub still circulating – the lover of a good old toe suck is at it again.

This morning, ‘Fergie’ – whose husband’s disastrous interview with Emily Maitlis about his late paedophile friend Jeffrey Epstein brought utter shame on the House of York – wrote a comment piece for The Sun.

It is not known how much this mouthy woman was paid by the newspaper or whether she’s actually repaid the money she was loaned by Epstein yet also, but the fact that it was titled: “I found consolation in sausages” about says it all. If clanger prone Sarah Ferguson had any sense, she would now simply do the decent thing: Follow Prince Harry’s lead and disappear into the sunset (with a packet of sausages).

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Fergie’s Banger Clanger – Sarah Ferguson has a habit of choosing stories to read on her ‘Storytime with Fergie and Friends’ YouTube channel with titles that don’t exactly help her disgraced ex-husband. He could easily be called a “grizzly itch” and she herself should be told to “go inside.”

Fergie’s Banger Clanger – Equally, the Duke of York could be called a “little pig” and completing his threesome would be the late Jeffrey Epstein and his jailed bestie Ghislaine Maxwell.

November 11, 2020