Thursday, August 5, 2021

Archewell OFF!

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Matthew Steeples suggests the best thing to do with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ on Spotify is to turn it off

“Oh, he has a podcast voice” simpered the Duchess of Sussex as she began her Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ for Spotify. “Thank you for joining, we’re glad you’re here,” added her drip of a husband as they careered into a car crash of a “stand-alone special.”

 

“Thank you guys” the pair chirped of healthcare workers and then the drivel well and truly commenced. “We asked a few friends and a whole load of other folks [to help us justify our £40 million ($54.5 million, €44.4 million or درهم200 million) fee from Spotify]” continued moolah minded ‘MeGain’ as she no doubt imagined the kerchinging of notes flying into her bank account.

 

With a lot of “jump ins” and “grabbing [of] cosy beverages if you can,” this 33:21 minute “reflection” of how “2020 has connected us in ways we’d never have imagined through endless acts of kindness and compassion” is actually nothing other than turnoff-able.

 

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Archewell OFF! Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s terrible Spotify debut – Matthew Steeples suggests the best thing to do with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ on Spotify is to turn it off.
Archewell OFF! – The couple were deservedly mocked on social media when their Spotify podcast was announced. On Twitter, one user, Max Burns justifiably remarked: “Prince Harry and Meghan Markle left the Royal Family because they sought the same kind of normal, private life regular people enjoy. They longed for life’s simple and anonymous pleasures, like launching a new heavily publicised podcast and national promotional tour.”
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

4 COMMENTS

  1. Sigh. Why does the press give them more coverage from all the other Royals? They’re no longer Royals and I for one don’t want to hear their names again. Rodders’s wrecking ball to their publicity attempts urgently needed.

  2. Spotify should get a refund, These are the tosspots who opted out and didn’t want publicity, Don’t worry, Megain will soon spend it and be looking for more.

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