Matthew Steeples suggests the best thing to do with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ on Spotify is to turn it off
“Oh, he has a podcast voice” simpered the Duchess of Sussex as she began her Archewell Audio ‘Holiday Special’ for Spotify. “Thank you for joining, we’re glad you’re here,” added her drip of a husband as they careered into a car crash of a “stand-alone special.”
“Thank you guys” the pair chirped of healthcare workers and then the drivel well and truly commenced. “We asked a few friends and a whole load of other folks [to help us justify our £40 million ($54.5 million, €44.4 million or درهم200 million) fee from Spotify]” continued moolah minded ‘MeGain’ as she no doubt imagined the kerchinging of notes flying into her bank account.
With a lot of “jump ins” and “grabbing [of] cosy beverages if you can,” this 33:21 minute “reflection” of how “2020 has connected us in ways we’d never have imagined through endless acts of kindness and compassion” is actually nothing other than turnoff-able.