‘The Times’ allows a most curious notice to appear on its ‘Register’ page; Could it have been cryptically penned by Ghislaine Maxwell to Prince Andrew?
The ‘Register’ page of The Times is a place where families announce forthcoming marriages and share news of deaths, funerals and memorials as well. Royal court circulars also get a look-in, as do law reports and alongside details on the engagement of The Hon. F. J. St Aubyn (‘Felix’ to his chums) and plain old Miss Alice C. Tyser yesterday was information about the passing of one Dr Colin Fleetcroft. This no doubt dear old gentleman is as listed as “much loved and will be greatly missed.”
On the same page, however, someone bizarrely took a much larger space to send a cryptic message to someone named ‘Andrew.’ In it – without mentioning said chap’s surname or their own name even – they penned their sorrows about “the love of their life” in a fashion that was rather akin to Philip Larkin’s This Be The Verse. They ended with some depressing words of discouragement that read: “Choosing between life and death, I’d much prefer to die; Take my advice, don’t fall in love, you’ll get hurt before it’s through; You see, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.”
Frankly, though it is most surprising that somebody would feel the need to write such pugnacious drivel, it is even more surprising that The Times would deign to publish it.
Pictured top: Disgraced royal Prince Andrew with alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell. Could this be a missive from the missing for months daughter of ‘Bouncing Bob’ to ‘Randy Andy’? Unlikely, but stranger things have happened given these two and their “secret visits.”
The full text of ‘To Andrew’ follows:
In Memoriam – Private
TO ANDREW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Did you ever love someone deeply, and out they didn’t love you?
Did you ever feel they weren’t kind to you, and wonder what you should do?
Did you ever blindly trust in love, but your love didn’t want to stay?
Love only causes problems, it happens every day
You wonder how they can sleep at night
You wonder how they can feel delight
You wonder how love could ever feel light
When you are left weighed down by fright
Love hurts so much, the price you pay is high
Choosing between love and death, I’d much prefer to die
Take my advice, don’t fall in love, you’ll get hurt before it’s through
You see, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.
Philip Larkin’s ‘This Be The Verse’:
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.