Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".
The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.
March 25, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Sarah, Duchess of York sticks her oar in over coronavirus, but makes no mention of the benefit the outbreak has given her husband in relation to the Jeffrey Epstein ‘problem’ On Monday, the child-like ex-wife of the Duke of York – a cowardly creature whom the FBI would like to speak to about his links … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Sarah, Duchess of York”
February 5, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
The ‘modern day Mrs Simpson,’ the Duchess of Sussex’s, behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic; she needs to learn to control herself or she will indeed become a true laughing stock As plain old Meghan Markle, she was known for “carefully planning” publicity stunts on Instagram and elsewhere. ‘Murky Mucky’ likes being in charge but … Continue reading “Manic Meghan”
January 21, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples suggests the ‘Daily Mail’ simply conformed to type in attacking James Stunt on his birthday ‘The Daily Fail’ is always capable of conforming to type. In deciding to attack James Stunt on his very own birthday, this cowardly rag went too far. That they alleged that a successful businessman couldn’t afford … Continue reading “Birthday Bigots”
November 1, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Halloween is a ridiculous American nightmare suggests Matthew Steeples Halloween is something that children might enjoy but in reality it’s just another excuse for greedy retailers like Waitrose to sell the great British public a load of old tat. Our Picture of the Week was spotted by a reader named David Hart and … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – The Horror That is Halloween”
October 29, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples questions the validity of getting easily offended as a man “offends” a woman on the Underground by dressing as Samuel L. Jackson People will always find reasons to be offended it seems. In the days of the overblown #MeToo movement our snowflake society cannot cope with anything that isn’t politically correct. … Continue reading “No Offence Taken”
September 12, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Is the fuss over Kirstie Allsopp smashing up her children’s iPads justified? Or was it actually a very clever publicity stunt on her part? On Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show on Monday, one of the panel, The Hon. Kirstie Allsopp, shared that she’d smashed up her children’s iPads because they weren’t using them responsibly. … Continue reading “An Almighty Allsopp”
April 16, 2018
by General
Middlesborough couple go to the press after Morrisons refuse to sell them meat pies before 9am There are conspiracy theorists and then there’s a pie loving duo named Linda and Tony Gilkes from Teeside. Featured in a local newspaper named GazetteLive, these pensioners “were left piping hot with fury” after the Berwick Hills, … Continue reading “Wallies of the Week – Linda and Tony Gilkes”
March 4, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Britain’s weirdest home for sale for a sum 61% lower than the £13 million sum asked for it in 2016; it has been repossessed and comes with a 69-foot long indoor beach In October 2016, The Steeple Times featured what could quite possibly be Britain’s weirdest home. Offered then for £10 million, The Chalet … Continue reading “A Cut Cost Chalet”
February 27, 2018
by Matthew Steeples
Healthcare assistant Charlotte Day disgracefully moans about panic buying of bread just as homeless people freeze to death Last week, a homeless man froze to death in Chelmsford, Essex. A week before, another was found dead on the steps of Westminster Tube station in London. Meanwhile, yesterday, in Medway, Kent, a moaning Minnie … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Brazen bread “grabber” Charlotte Day”
October 21, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Daughter-in-law of fraudster Bernard Madoff illustrates how utterly out of touch she truly is with normality and the lives of ordinary, decent people “The biggest mistake is putting on something you don’t feel comfortable in” casually commented Stephanie Mack (formerly Madoff) to The New York Times’ ‘Style’ in an interview this week. As … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Stephanie Mack”
September 27, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Hectoring horror and Labour MP for Kensington Emma Dent Coad’s remarks about the royal family simply illustrate her ineptitude for high office Prior to the election, Emma Dent Coad was just a Kensington and Chelsea councillor, but, due to the ineptitude of Lady ‘Call me Victoria’ Borwick – a Tory with more interest in … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Emma Dent Coad”
May 27, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Burka hating UKIPper Suzanne Evans again shows herself to be anything but a “brainbox” in a ‘Twitter spat’ with Matthew Steeples Yesterday, I found myself having what can be best described as a ‘Twitter spat’ with UKIP’s Suzanne Evans. Watchmaker’s daughter Evans, whose attempt to suggest the Manchester terrorist atrocity wouldn’t have happened … Continue reading “The Burka Brainbox”
May 20, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Though Julian Assange’s cat may have looked on smugly yesterday, all its bail jumping owner achieved was to make himself appear arrogant and ridiculous WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has evaded British justice for 2,356 days and though, yesterday, he may have stood on a balcony and pontificated about how he won’t “forgive or forget”, … Continue reading “The Cat That Didn’t Get The Cream”
May 19, 2017
by General
Narcissist and “yummy mummy” Hannah Strafford-Taylor describes herself as “Instagram’s most stylish mum” to her 8,600 followers. Mocked as a “plastic clichéd fool using her bizarrely named daughters [Soleil and Winter] as accessories”, Mrs Strafford-Taylor told the Mail Online: “My husband says I have my own unique currency of holidays. I compare everything to the … Continue reading “Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor”
May 15, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Politicians Lady Nugee and Sir Michael Fallon BOTH make total and utter fools of themselves over links to murderous dictator Bashar al-Assad Yesterday Labour’s Lady Nugee – a ridiculous woman who prefers to go by the name ‘The Rt. Hon. Emily Thornberry MP’ – succeeded in making a fool out of The Rt. Hon … Continue reading “Double Bollocks”
May 4, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
A review of the showcase of vanity that is the Saatchi Gallery’s ‘Selfie to Self-Expression’ exhibition The first ever ‘selfie’ was supposedly taken on the roof of the Marceau studio on Fifth Avenue in New York. Featuring a photographer named Joseph Byron and his colleagues, the image was captured in December 1920 and now, … Continue reading “The Commerce of Selfies”
April 25, 2017
by General
The co-owner of the right-wing Westmonster website terms his ethnicity “milk bottle white” and claims there are “tons of burkas” on the streets of East London. Naturally a fan of Marine Le Pen and Donald Trump and of the belief that England is the land of “soft justice”, Michael Heaver loathes what he describes as … Continue reading “Michael Heaver”
April 13, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Born white in Bernkastel-Kues, Germany in 1989, but now perceived by many to be black, “pneumatic chested” Martina Big increased her cleavage to a 32S and “turned her pale skin a deep mahogany shade that draws stares from strangers everywhere she goes”. A former air hostess turned glamour model, Miss Big appeared on ITV1’s This … Continue reading “Martina Big”
March 27, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Intolerance comes in many forms but the very worst kind is middle class hypocrisy In a week when Damien Hirst was told: “Go home!” by animal rights activists in Venice (who also dumped 40kg of dung outside where he is due to exhibit a non-animal related show at the Palazzo Grassi), I, myself, experienced … Continue reading “Bigots & Baseball Caps”
March 12, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Facebook page where Whitstable locals spend time moaning and arguing will have you in hysterics; welcome to an example of a modern day spouting place for ‘Busybody Britain’ You’ll likely have come across the Facebook page ‘Overheard in Waitrose’. It has garnered over 500,000 likes since its inception in April 2014, but, for those … Continue reading “Website of the Week – Overheard and Seen in Whitstable”
February 22, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Outrageously over-the-top Beverly Hills pad complete with gold accessories galore goes on sale for £80 million; buyers will get a gold Lamborghini, a gold Rolls-Royce and 170 gold coloured bottles of Cristal Sold last for £7.7 million ($9.8 million, €9.3 million or درهم36 million) in 2012 when it was a 5,926 square foot house, … Continue reading “Take Me To The Gold Park”
January 12, 2017
by Matthew Steeples
Serpentine Galleries summerhouse originally installed in Kensington Gardens for sale – it’ll cost you a bit more than what you might find down at B&Q Each summer, since the year 2000, the Serpentine Galleries have commissioned what they term a ‘pavilion’ to stand alongside their original gallery in Kensington Gardens. These have varied from … Continue reading “A Serpentine Summer House”
October 25, 2016
by Matthew Steeples
Publicity seeking duo share details of their wedding – prepare to be amused at the bizarre details of their ridiculously over-the-top nuptials New York based Norah Lawlor is undoubtedly a talented PR and her ability to create something out of nothing is a quality that we at The Steeple Times admire. The stories that … Continue reading “Powering a Wedding”
March 23, 2016
by Matthew Steeples
Piers Morgan toadying up to Donald Trump over the terror attacks in Brussels can only be described as utterly repugnant
March 1, 2016
February 12, 2016
by General
Known primarily for posing in his underpants on a gay dating site and for the utterly ridiculous assessment that Delilah is a song about the murder of a prostitute, Chris Bryant is one of the most pointless MPs ever.
December 1, 2015
by Matthew Steeples
Clangers overheard by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ in the last week
November 3, 2015
September 14, 2015
by Matthew Steeples
Moaning minnie Yasmin Alibhai-Brown’s guest column for the ‘Sunday Mirror’ confirms that she truly is nothing but a harpy for hire
May 22, 2015
May 19, 2015
by Matthew Steeples
Helium loving Paul O’Grady should follow his own words, get on his bike and leave Britain
March 5, 2015
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples reviews a Channel 5 documentary about UKIP supporters
February 9, 2015
October 13, 2014
by General
This ridiculous Labour politician proclaimed that “there is no difference between the PKK and ISIS” in October 2014 and tweeted that “white people love playing divide and rule” in 2012.
September 23, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
Russian student spends £20,000 covering her £25,000 Mercedes in Swarovski crystals and then wonders why she is mocked
September 1, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
Three Arabic men decide to enjoy a spot of shisha on the A4 as Cara Delevingne looks on The ‘Ramadan Rush’ is nearly over but in spotting the image that we make our Picture of the Week, Monika Agata Maron truly captured how ridiculous Knightsbridge has become during this period.
August 5, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
Third gold wrapped vehicle spotted in Knightsbridge The Ferrari wrapped in gold foil that bubbled up and peeled off was eclipsed in its ridiculousness last week by a gold and black Bugatti Veyron. Now, the collection has expanded with the arrival of a gold Range Rover.
July 28, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples examines London venues charging the most for mineral water A 500ml bottle of San Pellegrino will set you back just 63p in Tesco. At The Wellesley in Knightbridge, however, a customer, Edward Heaton, was left somewhat shocked when he got a bill of £75 for three bottles on 17th July.
by Matthew Steeples
This Brighton resident announced she’d sue Brighton and Hove City Council in July 2014 after her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Scooby, slipped a disc whilst chasing a cat on council-owned land. Facing a £5,000 bill for the dog’s surgery, this benefit claimer argued that “the grass was too long”
July 8, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
This Hungarian “former student radical” and emeritus professor of sociology at the University of Kent argued that historic abuse offences should effectively be swept under the carpet on Newsnight in July 2014. Faversham based Furedi – who is married to the CEO of the UK’s largest independent abortion provider – has previously bizarrely leapt to … Continue reading “Frank Furedi (born Ferenc Furedi)”
May 1, 2014
by Matthew Steeples
The public should be exposed to the real Katie Hopkins Last night I met Katie Hopkins. This chance encounter at a party –where I was also briefly and rather randomly introduced to the ex-jailbird Chris Huhne (as cringeworthy as one would expect) and ‘Darth Labour’ Lord Mandelson (as dark as one would imagine) – … Continue reading “Katie Hopkins: The reality”
August 21, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples suggests TripAdvisor needs to reform its ways I’ve written about the ‘Trippies’ (those who write reviews on TripAdvisor) before and just like the ‘Groupies’ (voucher loving Groupon users), I’ve had direct experience of their type. They’re an accursed nuisance.
June 6, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
This ridiculously named woman is Knightsbridge’s leading busybody. A resident of Sloane Street, Morgan-Thomas and her daughter hector motorists and believes she lives in a “village”. How many villages do you know with Chanel, Gucci and Armani on their main streets?
May 27, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
Is it right to criticise David Cameron for taking a holiday? This morning the Mail Online and others attacked David Cameron for “swanning off” for a holiday in Ibiza whilst the nation is “struggling” and the press claim “Britain is on high terror alert”.
March 17, 2013
by Matthew Steeples
In 2013, this Danish-British former Liberal Democrat author and presenter stated: “The Duchess of Cambridge lacks a single [relevant] opinion”. The nation were far from impressed. “Toxic Toksvig”, as some refer to her, is a Cambridge educated lesbian and mother of three whose works number Hitler’s Canary and Heroines & Harridans. She started her career … Continue reading “Sandi Toksvig”
November 28, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Amy Childs: A brash young lady with questionable taste Our last picture of the week featuring a Range Rover Sport was of one that had been driven by a couple described in the comments section of a Mail Online article as a “pair of pillocks in a puddle.” We subsequently received a Tweet from … Continue reading “Picture of the Week: White fleece”
November 16, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples takes a look at the farcical results of the PCC elections A former ambassador to the US undiplomatically Tweeted the following an hour or two ago: “Prezza beaten. Humberside policing saved.” His dovetailed stooge, one Mowbray Jackson, added: “Tiresome tub thumper ‘Lord’ Prescott rejected in PCC election. There is a god.” … Continue reading “Put a sock in it”
October 26, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Could this be the most ludicrous Hummer in the world? This week The Steeple Times picture of the week is of what quite frankly could be described as one of the most ridiculous Hummer’s ever created. It could even be up there in the league of the all time most stupid vehicles on the … Continue reading “Picture of the Week: Double dumb”
October 13, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
A pair of pillocks piddling about in a puddle All of us who drive have made stupid mistakes but most of us, at worst, have knocked over a gatepost or pranged a door in a supermarket car park. A couple named Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow, however, take the biscuit. This idiotic pair of … Continue reading “Picture of the Week: Sinking and stupid”
September 26, 2012
by steepleadmin
Sarah Tucker shares the latest of her “playground politics” experiences My son started at a new school a few weeks back. Five foot eleven, half of him at 13 he is now taller than me. He was a bit nervous, I cried in the car after I dropped him off and he refused … Continue reading “Playground victims”
August 20, 2012
by steepleadmin
Sarah Tucker gives an update on goings on at the resort where Madeleine McCann vanished Four hundred and thirty euros, one bedroom apartment, one week at the height of season at a luxury family resort in Portugal. And oh yes, it’s the Ocean Club at Praia da Luz. There’s availability with two and three … Continue reading “Winging it”
June 2, 2012
by Matthew Steeples
Their daughter Madeleine disappeared on the evening 3rd May 2007 from a holiday apartment whilst they sat enjoying tapas with a bunch of friends. Some believe the poor child was kidnapped. Others have alternative theories. A public fund to find “Maddie” raised hundreds of thousands of pounds but Mrs McCann’s book, Madeleine, contains so many … Continue reading “Gerry & Kate McCann”
