Tag: Boris Johnson

Missing Maddie & Another Crackpot Clairvoyant

Crackpot clairvoyant Michael Schneider claims he’s found the location of Madeleine McCann’s body; he remarkably did so with Google Maps, his fingers and the help of God (according to the ‘Mirror’)

When the British government is in a mess – the current case being whether the 21^st June ‘unlockdown’ will actually occur due to the ever-increasing prevalence of the Indian variant of coronavirus – they encourage the reeling out of another senseless story about ‘disappeared’ Madeleine McCann.

After sharing a “nothing new” story in late May and an irrelevant “we won’t be getting a verdict until the end of the year” in the legal battle between the child’s parents and Goncalo Amaral last week, today the Mirror returned to the fray with an utterly preposterous “exclusive.”

Sharing suggestions from a clairvoyant – yes, you read it correct, a crackpot clairvoyant – named Michael Schneider, the paper reported that the BKA, “Germany’s equivalent of the FBI,” are “appropriately incorporating” his belief that ‘Missing Maddie’ is “buried in a forest just six miles where she vanished… into their work.”

Schneider argues he “does not give out such information lightly,” yet then laughably explained: “I look at a photo of the missing person and ask myself upwards towards God whether this living being is alive or dead.”

Continuing, this clearly off-his-merry-rocker 50-year-old fruitcake then added:

“After that I take an atlas or a road map and look at large areas superficially. Afterwards at Google Maps and Earth. Then I let my fingers and my eyes circle over these maps until they stop on a spot and mark it.”

Elsewhere, the MailOnline shared their thoughts on the development and declared:

“He isn’t the first clairvoyant to claim supernatural powers have helped him pinpoint Madeleine’s location. Nine years ago, detectives studied 100 logs from psychics that were previously ignored and termed ‘a waste of resources.’”

“And in 2017, the family were hit by a cruel hoax after Susan Kelly demanded payment from the family as she claimed to know ‘the truth’ about Madeleine’s whereabouts.”

Responding to Schneider’s plainly nothing but a publicity prank prattling, the frankly utterly useless German prosecutor Hans Christian Wolters witlessly warbled:

“Several psychics have responded to our call for help in the past year and offered assistance. In some cases, we also received concrete tips. We do not ignore them, but we are cautious.”

On Twitter, members of the public called out this claptrap for what it truly is. One user named Eli remarked: “There’s a sucker born every minute” whilst another concluded: “If you wish to know where Madeleine McCann is… ask Kate and Gerry.”

Going further and echoing our previous sentiments about the total misallocation of £13.5 million to a case that plainly isn’t going to get solved whilst neglecting to support the families of other missing people, one David Osland shared an image of another child who went missing and quite rightly asked: “Any reason this poor boy didn’t get the same priority as Madeleine McCann?”

Pictured top: Michael Schneider (left) and Gerry McCann with an image of his ‘missing’ daughter, Madeleine McCann – a child supposedly ‘taken’ on the 3^rd May 2007 after she and her siblings were left alone in a holiday apartment in Praia da Luz.

Living it Large – Gerry MccCann enjoying a round of golf (left); Kate McCann at Downing Street, London hobnobbing with Missing People CEO Martin Houghton-Brown, the Duchess of Gloucester and the then Home Secretary Theresa May on 23rd May 2012 (right).

The ‘MailOnline’ shared that the location former TV reporter turned clairvoyant Michael Schneider believes where Madeleine McCann’s body is buried is just six miles from where she ‘vanished’ in Praia da Luz, Portugal in May 2007. They added: “[He] has told police officers the ‘exact co-ordinates’ of the spot he believes the youngster’s body can be found in a fresh blow to the McCann family… His clairvoyance technique includes looking at photographs of a missing person and asking God ‘whether this living being is alive or dead,’ before turning to atlases and Google Maps until they ‘stop on a spot.’”

Twitter reactions to Michael Schneider’s batshit bonkers claims…

June 6, 2021
The Convenient Catholic Couple

Matthew Steeples demands to know why Boris Johnson was able to marry his puppet mistress in a Catholic cathedral given he’s already had two wives prior and highlights the wine chucking wife’s deviancy also

Ahead of lauding it over world leaders and their spouses at the forthcoming 47^th G7 summit at the shameful disgrace that is the tree killing Carbis Bay Hotel next week, the wicked wench formerly known as Carrie Symonds pulled off a bit of ‘distraction technique’ excellence by marrying the man she’d previously chucked a lot of red wine at, her pointless puppet Boris Johnson, last weekend.

The former Miss Symonds and now 3^rd Mrs Boris Johnson – whom ought not to be called Britain’s ‘1^st Lady’ but instead Britain’s ‘3^rd Loose Woman’ – is anything but suitable to represent our nation at such an event. This scarlet woman, ‘Princess Nut Nuts,’ has a shameful past and aside from working at a charity funded by the currently incarcerated mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, also starred in a play about the occultist Satanist Aleister Crowley whilst at university.

Decidedly deviant and also romantically involved with supporters of the far-right Traditional Britain Group – whom have expressed a desire to hang Baroness Lawrence, the mother of the victim of a racist murder, from a tree – prior to hooking up with money taker Jennifer Arcuri’s ex-bonker, the present (for how long, God only knows) Mrs Johnson’s union in a Catholic cathedral has also quite rightly attracted widespread criticism.

At a time when the general public haven’t been able to celebrate nuptials with many guests, how was it that Boris Johnson and his now wife were able to party with extras and how also could a man with two previous unions be able to pass them off as “invalid” and thus effectively heartlessly deny the existence of the children of those marriage in addition?

Whilst both Johnson – who was most definitely a confirmed member of the Church of England whilst at Eton, yet married in a Catholic ceremony last weekend – and his new wife were again laughably lauded by Daniel Johnson in Unherd on Tuesday as “deserving our congratulations, not our brickbats,” the majority of the public are left asking: “How can this sleazy oik and his 3^rd concubine be allowed to so shamelessly profiteer whilst getting away with wrecking everybody else’s lives also?”

‘The Convenient Catholic Couple’ are a disgrace to our nation and after embarrassing us all before those attending the G7 summit next week, it’s surely time they finally did the decent thing: Disappear to Siberia and take their shitty Lulu Lytle decorations with them.

The Convenient Catholic Couple – Boris Johnson and his new merry wife, Carrie, are a pair of dangerous deviants. When they’re not wasting money on dodgy décor from Lulu Lytle, they’re bingeing on frightfully expensive food from ‘Lady Doors To Manual’ Carole Bamford’s ritzy Daylesford.

The new Mr & Mrs Johnson’s wedding day photo showed a woman who looked like she was about to become a sacrifice. Meanwhile, the clown Prime Minister sported a tie that he’d previously worn whilst in the company of his ex-wife and another of his luscious lovers, Jennifer Arcuri, also.

One has to wonder how Boris Johnson’s former shagging partner Jennifer Arcuri feels about his new union.

On Twitter, many mocked the union of Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds for exactly what it was: A comedy of errors and a prime example of the use of the distraction technique at a time when once Great Britain is facing the impending potential horrors of the Indian and Nepalese variants of COVID-19.

“Is this woman suitable to be Britain’s 1st lady?” is a question the public are quite rightly asking.

June 4, 2021
Dim Martin

Nikolay Kalinin mocks Brexiteer and founder of Wetherspoons Tim Martin for now wanting EU migrant workers; he relabels the champagne, social media and dog hater ‘Dim Martin’

Bumbling Brexiteer Tim Martin is genuinely suffering from “oh no, I really have binned it” syndrome. Yesterday, the JD Wetherspoons founder – who back in 2018 banned champagne and replaced it with sparkling wine from Britain and Australia – contradicted himself and demanded government schemes to make it easier for EU migrants to return to boost the UK economy by working for him.

In comments circulated widely, the businessman asked Boris Johnson to establish a more “reasonably liberal immigration system” that would see the introduction of a visa scheme for EU workers, as pubs and restaurants struggle to find sufficient workers post-pandemic.

Speaking to the Telegraph, the pub chain boss stated that such a proposal would be beneficial for the UK because of its “low birth rate” and attempted to justify his proposal by saying: “America, Australia and Singapore have benefitted for many decades from this approach. Immigration combined with democracy works.”

Over the past year, Wetherspoons has seen its number of workers drop by 6,000 to 38,000, meaning that those workers must have taken Martin’s advice of April of last year and gone to work at Tesco’s instead.

Unsurprisingly, this complete lunatic’s comments sparked outrage on social media for their blatant hypocrisy, with then Mirror’s Kevin Maguire calling him a “prat” for “demanding more migration from Europe under a “reasonably liberal” system after he whipped up anti-EU prejudice, fuelling myths and banning European booze.”

Meanwhile, the official account of Have I Got News For You tweeted: “Tim Martin calls for more EU migration to staff bars, after Brexit causes 90% downturn in irony and self-awareness.”

What we are seeing here is Brexit reality dawning over the very people who once supported it. It turns out that we are not living in a paradise and we have not taken back control of our borders, as evidenced by how ‘Priti “Awful’ Patel’s plans to catch illegal migrants have been rejected by the French.

Tim Martin was interviewed by Owen Jones in January 2019. “Which of them is more loathsome?” is the question that most would ask of this awful pair of pillocks.

In January last year, Wetherspoons draconianly limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each. In response, Rupert Murray pointed out in ‘The Telegraph’ yesterday: “Here’s a new business idea for you: hanging around in Wetherspoons loos selling moonshine to thirsty parents. Thirsty parents who have already downed their allotted two pints. They’ve probably smashed their glasses over a nearby skull and trashed the joint. Mothers and fathers are, after all, Begbie from ‘Trainspotting’ in sheep’s clothing. This is the only possible explanation for why Wetherspoons has banned anyone looking after children from being served anything more than a brace of beverages.”

Tim Martin is the personification of a stupid, hypocrite argues Nikolay Kalinin. Pictured here with Boris Johnson, ‘The Steeple Times’ has previously condemned him for banning dogs both inside and outside his pubs, for his ban on social media in his premises and for banning champagne and other European booze also. He is nothing but an utter nutter!

June 3, 2021
The Boat Britain Didn’t Ask For (Or Need)

Nikolay Kalinin joins those condemning Boris Johnson’s decision to waste £200 million on a boat Britain didn’t ask for (or need)

Remember when Eurosceptics pledged Brexit would enable the government to give £350 million per week ($496 million, €406 million or درهم1.8 billion per week) to the NHS? Well, now we finally know where that money is actually going as the government has officially decided to waste some of it commissioning a vanity ship they claim will showcase the “best of British.”

The £200 million ($284 million, €232 million or درهم1 billion) gin palace – which was to be named after the late Duke of Edinburgh though even the royal family have supposedly raised objections to such as they don’t think an association with it will do them any favours – is set to be the successor to the Royal Yacht Britannia, which was retired in 1997. Boris Johnson has stated that the vessel will “represent and promote the best of British – a clear and powerful symbol of our commitment to be an active player on the world stage.”

Yet, one cannot ignore that this project seems so pointless and unnecessarily expensive, a fact that has been called out by figures in Parliament. When asked about the diplomatic benefits of “recommissioning HM Yacht Britannia” by Conservative MP for Romford, Andrew Rosindell, President for COP26, Alok Sharma, admitted: “The royal yacht was used on just 37 occasions for… signing trade deals during 1989 – 1997. There’s no evidence that the yacht made a difference to the trade deals secured in these years and this level of use would not represent a good return on investment.”

The Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Bridget Phillipson, also seemed to agree, stating: “We want to see public money used for targeted investment in a green economic recovery, resources for our NHS, and supporting families to succeed.”

She added that if the government does go ahead with the plan to build the yacht: “We’d want to see it built in Britain, supporting jobs and skills in shipyards here, and with a real focus on value for money at every stage.”

What we are seeing here once again is the government misappropriating taxpayers’ money in order to reinforce the fake vision of muscular unionism. The government is trying to reinforce a vision of a united Britain and ‘Britishness’ not through progressive deeds that reflect ‘British values,’ but through objects such as yachts named after recognisable things.

It’s not only the costly yacht however that reflects the idea that ‘muscular unionism’ is so empty, as some time ago an autonomous company launched trials of a self-driving bus in Cambridge, which was draped in the Union Jack.

Comedian Jonathan Pie reacted to the news by calling the bus “the perfect visual metaphor for a country in the grips of such inept and directionless leadership,” while Lord Andrew Adonis mockingly wrote that it “looks like a Brexit bus.”

While I like flags as much as the next man, the fact that ‘BoJo’ seems hellbent on putting them up everywhere demonstrates that his government has nothing much to offer. If Johnson really wants to unite the people of his country, he should work on fixing the rift between his government and Scotland and solve the problems Northern Ireland is facing as a result of Brexit.

The Queen’s love of the Royal Yacht Britannia was never a secret, but even she’s said to believe the decision to order a replacement to be quite beyond unrequired. Meanwhile, the most enthusiastic tin banger for the expensive tub has been Christopher Hope of ‘The Telegraph.’ He has run the paper’s campaign for the vessel since September 2016 and written three dozen articles in support of what he believes to be “putting right [the] historical wrong” of not having a royal yacht.

June 1, 2021
Down The Drain McCann

More money goes down the drain in the Madeleine McCann case on top of the £13.5 million of British taxpayer wonga chucked away on absolutely no results

This morning – continuing the pointless pattern of the Mirror and MailOnline to “note nothing new” in the case of ‘disappeared’ Madeleine McCann we highlighted last week – The Sun shared an “exclusive” about the investigation that frankly wasn’t worthy of a single column inch.

After beginning with the bashfully bold headline “Madeleine McCann’s parents to find out this year if they’ve won legal battle against ex-cop” Goncalo Amaral – whom currently is owed a “six-figure sum” believed to be circa £750,000 by Gerry and Kate McCann after he beat them in court in February 2017 – the paper then concluded without an actual “when” and the non-news that “the judges will now give a verdict by the end of the year.”

Of this diatribe of drivel, one could say: “Thanks for that,” but more realistically anyone rational would ask of The Sun instead: “Couldn’t you have asked your contributor to instead go looking for a missing person where there is a genuine chance of that person actually being found?”

Meanwhile, on Sunday, the Mirror – a red-top reliable for prattling on about “non-news” about a situation that could have been avoided perhaps if two doctors hadn’t left their toddlers unattended so they could live it up in a restaurant with their mates – shared that the prosecution team that named Christian Brueckner (AKA ‘Christian B’) exactly one year ago just as the British government began their ‘coronavirus distraction technique,’ have actually not spoken to Gerry and Kate McCann once during the ensuing period.

Asked if they had genuinely made any progress in the case, prosecutor Hans Christian Wolters “angrily hit back at critics” and illustrated the weakness of his work in declaring: “I don’t care who believes what… We are missing important important information. We want no stone unturned. Whether there will be an indictment in the end, I cannot foresee at the moment.”

The Mirror concluded: “Brueckner, serving seven years for raping a 72-year-old woman in Praia, has not been interviewed,” whilst elsewhere the Daily Record added Wolters pathetically offered: “Our appeal for witnesses still stands.” We respond: “Where on earth do you think these people are given the millions already offered in rewards that have never been claimed?”

Clearly, on top of the £13.5 million of British taxpayer money wasted on this case already, that’s another chunk of change down the drain whilst other families of missing people shamefully get little to no help at all. Enough is enough; it is time to close down the investigation into ‘missing’ Madeleine McCann.

Kate McCann – a woman who went running, played tennis and dined on chicken and mushroom risotto and egg and watercress salads washed down with strawberry vodka with the paedophile Sir Clement Freud in the days after her ‘disappeared’ – has a clear touch of the former Meghan Markle about her. Like ‘MeGain,’ whom banged on that “not many people have asked if I’m OK,” Mrs McCann said in 2011: “Officers walked past us as if we weren’t there. Nobody asked how we were doing, whether we were okay. Our child had been stolen and I felt as if I didn’t exist.”

Kate #McCann was full of BRUISES next day according to Jane tanner, police statement…

PURPLE bruises take 2 days to develop.

IT'S OBVIOUS!!!!!!! Something horrible happened to that family at least 1 DAY before the ALARM 🚨 #McCanns pic.twitter.com/Caonk97x7p
— Madeleine Case Tweets🌐 (@McCannCaseTweet) March 8, 2018

Elsewhere on social media this weekend, the matter of Kate McCann being photographed with bruises on her wrists in the days after her daughter disappeared was again discussed. This tweet from 2018 was once again referenced.

Christian Brueckner (AKA ‘Christian B’, pictured left with his ex-girlfriend Naskcije Miftari) was brought to public attention just as the British government began to suffer “very bad news days” at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic last year. The narrative of him being the evil, paedophile suited Boris Johnson’s government a treat as it helped shift the headlines – for a period – away from their appalling handling of initial lockdowns. This weekend, equally, Johnson has managed to do something similar by marrying his latest ‘baby mama’ Carrie Symonds and in doing so, cynics quite correctly argue that he has used the ‘distraction technique’ to get his bad week courtesy of Dominic Cummings off the front pages. Unsurprisingly, social media manipulated imagery from the wedding by using images such as those pictured (centre and right).

In December 2017, when £11 million of British taxpayers’ money had been spent towards the search for ‘missing’ Madeleine McCann, 86% of viewers of ITV1’s ‘Loose Women’ said the public purse should cease to fund the investigation. Now, in May 2021, with that sum at £13.5 million (aside from the millions in private money also), it is time to allocate resources to the search for missing people who actually can be found, we would suggest.

May 31, 2021
Deranged Dom & Bashful BoJo’s Rotten Regime

Nikolay Kalinin concludes that both Dominic Cummings and Boris Johnson’s rotten regime come out of this week disgraced

Dominic Cummings’ questioning at the COVID select committee has undoubtedly provoked a tsunami of responses. Cummings branded the PM he once advised as “unfit for job” and condemned Matt Hancock by saying that he “should have been fired for at least 15, 20 things, including lying to everybody on multiple occasions.”

Cummings claimed during questioning that Hancock lied about people getting treatment during the summer and stated: “We were told explicitly people did not get the treatment they deserved, many people were left to die in horrific circumstances.”

Not only that, but Cummings also stated that Johnson did indeed say that he would rather “let the bodies pile high in their thousands” that enforce another lockdown. If true, this demonstrates that the Prime Minister is absolutely not fit to rule a country whose people he has put in peril as a result of his continued incompetence.

There is no denying that the response of government officials to Cummings’ accusations has been plainly childish, including the response of Liz Truss, who stated that she “hasn’t had time to look at it yet” but also then stated: “I’m not going to engage with the false claims that are being made today.”

Meanwhile, Peter Kyle, Labour MP for Hove has decided to try to kill two birds with one stone by releasing a PMQ video from 25th March 2020 where he told the PM about the lack of COVID tests available in his constituency and how long it took to deliver them, captioning it with the words “They knew. THEY KNEW!”

Not only has Cummings’ dropped a bomb on the government but on ‘Costly Carrie’ too. In stating that his resignation from the role of Chief Adviser was linked “to the fact that the prime minister’s girlfriend was trying to change a whole bunch of different appointments at Number 10 and appoint her friends to particular jobs” – which sounds like a totally legitimate claim, especially considering how desperate ‘BoJo’ was to defend Carrie’s friend Henry Newman who got exposed as the man who leaked info about a second lockdown.

A YouGov poll conducted after the questioning concluded that although 55% of people do not trust Boris Johnson and how he has painted the government’s handling of the pandemic, a whopping 75% do not trust Cummings’ claims. This is not surprising considering the fact that he was responsible for the deceptive propaganda of Vote Leave and its “£350 million for NHS” claim.

Another poll conducted by Survation has concluded that even after Cummings’ revelations, the Conservatives extended their lead over Labour by 11 points, which is extremely concerning, because this shows that more people would rather trust the words of a man who throughout this pandemic has demonstrated barely any decent leadership and whose utter idiocy has destroyed the lives of many.

Not only that, but this poll shows that the people of Britain seem more likely to support a man whose fiancé wants to undermine the democratic process on which this country stands on and replace it with a rotten regime and controlled cronyism.

It truly feels as if most of Britain’s population are in the ‘Cult of BoJo’ and cannot stop ignoring all the terrible things he and his lackeys have done. If this is the kind of country that we are destined to live in for the next few years, then I’d argue that we are truly doomed.

Dominic Cummings’ grilling this week told the public what they already knew about Boris Johnson’s rotten regime.

Boris Johnson comes out of this sorry saga looking more and more like a puppet and one formerly controlled by Cummings and now most definitely in the clutches of his latest ‘baby mama,’ Carrie Symonds.

The court of Carrie Symonds (pictured with her “chatty rat” bestie Henry Newman) holds more sway than anything else currently in the ear of our laughable, not laudable Prime Minister.

May 28, 2021
A Wetherspoons Washout 2021

On ‘Unlockdown Day 2021’ the Truro branch of Wetherspoons was empty; given its owner Tim Martin’s joy in banning just about everything, could anybody be surprised?

Wetherspoons pub chain owner Tim Martin is a bore, a braggart and an on-off Boris Johnson groupie. This deservedly disliked dimwit is known for ranting in support of Brexit and not allowing European alcohol brands to be served in his venues and in January 2020, the draconian drip even “limited customers with children to just two alcoholic drinks each.” This laughable lunatic even once went as far as to put a stop to champagne on the basis of where it has to be made.

Prior to these decidedly deranged decisions, 66-year-old Martin banned dogs both inside and outside his pubs (on the basis that his workers “are sick of picking up poop”) and then added social media usage to his list of things prohibited across all premises. Here is a man whom claimed to dislike the rules of the EU, but here also is one obsessed with creating ridiculous rules of his own.

Yesterday, when British pubs were finally allowed to reopen after the easing of the third lockdown and patrons flocked to bars to get pissed, the public took rightful revenge on Tim Martin.

Featured in an article by a trainee reporter for Cornwall Live named Edward Church, the Truro branch of the painfully picky chain, a dirty looking dump named Try Dowr, “wasn’t met with a stampede” on reopening and nor did it get “much of a fanfare.”

“By 7.30am, no one had shown up,” commented Church, before adding: “A few passersby seemed tempted… [But] none of them stuck around in chilly, windy Lemon Square for their chance of a cheap pint, and they wandered off to Pannier Market and elsewhere on the square… Time passed, however, and no queue materialised.”

Diddums to Tim Martin and perhaps a warning also: Nobody likes a killjoy and frankly nobody wanted to return to his funless dumps when freedom allowed. Perhaps it’s time for ‘Dim Tim’ to relax his ridiculous rules and turn his pubs back into places people might actually enjoy. Next!

Pictured top: Tim Martin, a man once voted ‘PR Week’s’ “Flop of the Month,” with his on-off Brexiteering bestie Boris Johnson.

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – The Try Dowr branch of Wetherspoons is not exactly Britain’s most beautiful boozer, but one would have thought it would have had at least a few loyal customers willing to return to celebrate reopening. Plainly, the impact of tiresome Tim Martin’s ridiculous rules proved to the contrary on ‘Unlockdown Day 2021.’

Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow. https://t.co/hY7vS3vCxL
— The Steeple Times (@SteepleTimes) July 3, 2020

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – In July 2020, just before lockdown restrictions were for the first time relaxed, the @SteepleTimes Twitter account shared this clip of “a male and a female are seen staggering up and falling down a staircase whilst, frankly, p***ed out of their skulls” and accompanied it with the caption: “Two J. D. Wetherspoons customers at 3pm tomorrow.” It went viral and was liked by nearly 500 people and shared by nearly 200 also.

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ got somewhat worked up about the ‘Cornwall Live’ story. Some strangely actually supported Tim Martin, but the majority expressed sentiments such as: “That’s Wetherspoons for you, the locals are good judges. Actually a piece of half decent journalism from ‘Cornwall Live’ for once.”

A Wetherspoons Washout 2021 – Another ‘APLIN’ member, Gerard Montgomery, concluded: “It would be nice to think this is people supporting local pubs and remembering how poorly ‘Spoons treated their staff,” whilst one Ian McGowan concluded: “I am waiting for ‘Hull Live’ to run a story of the first post lockdown punch-up in one of the local ‘Spoons. We should not have long to wait.”

May 18, 2021
Randy Rob Deserves The Rod

Nikolay Kalinin slams the slapdash attitude of the Conservative Party to the sex pestering of both men and women by ‘Randy Rob’ Roberts MP

Welsh Conservatives seem to be a completely different breed; not only is their leader secretly a robot – which can be clearly evidenced from the way he speaks – but their MPs seem to have a problem with texting young women and asking them for sexual favours. First, we had Stephen Crabb, who somehow is still MP, and now we have Rob Roberts, MP for Delyn.

Having been exposed by BBC Wales almost a year ago for sending sexual texts to a young intern and asking if she wanted to “fool around with no strings attached,” Roberts is now on the path to being suspended from the House of Commons, meaning that another by-election could be on the horizon.

On a separate occasion, Roberts – who came out as gay in May last year – reportedly made a male Commons staffer uncomfortable and even made him change jobs after the MP asked him out and the youngster declined.

Roberts has since announced that he is intending to appeal against the decision to suspend him, although his efforts are expected to fail. If the Committee on Standards votes to suspend Roberts for more than 10 working days, this could lead to a recall petition, which possibly would result in a by-election being triggered if more than 10% of constituents sign the petition.

May I just remind you that a few weeks ago, a Conservative party spokesperson revealed that the inquiry into the MP’s conduct had concluded that “Mr Roberts has apologised for his behaviour and was instructed to undertake safeguarding and social media protection training.”

I have several questions: Why was ‘Randy Rob’ unable to avoid accountability for almost a year, and why was his punishment a simple slap on the wrist? Doesn’t this treatment greatly contrast with the principle of accountability that’s so essential to British politics, and why hasn’t Stephen Crabb received the same punishment?

This case suggests that nothing much has changed in regards to the acceptance of the behaviour of MPs, even after people like Stephen Crabb, Mike Hill and Brooks Newmark got exposed for sending sexually suggestive texts had their political careers ended. These people all seem to have ‘David Mellor Syndrome,’ and that is worrying, because those are the people whom we elect to represent us and our interests, not so that they could use their position to get in bed with people more easily.

Pictured top: ‘Randy Rob’ Roberts MP with his promiscuous boss and “father of at least six children” Boris Johnson.

Randy Rob Deserves The Rod – Nikolay Kalinin believes the likes of Rob Roberts MP have ‘David Mellor Syndrome’ … Now, there’s a political dinosaur most would prefer erased from the past, present and future.

Randy Rob Deserves The Rod – The shameless Conservative Party seems to have learnt nothing from the case of the jailing of former MP Charlie Elphicke. After the groping, bottom slapper known as the ‘Naughty Tory’ was convicted as a sex offender and deservedly sent down for two years, the party replaced him with his very own wife – after she took a £25,000 bung for an interview in ‘The Sun’ about the situation – and as of yet has done nothing about her and her colleagues using parliamentary stationery to inappropriately bombard the judiciary as part of their attempt to get him a lesser sentence.

Randy Rob Deserves The Rod – Rob Roberts made his debut in the House of Commons relatively recently in February 2020. It is a shame he hasn’t been able to behave himself at all appropriately during the time since.

May 17, 2021
A Boat For Brenda

As decidedly dippy Dame Esther Rantzen calls for tyrannical twerp Sir Philip Green to hand over his behemoth boat to the Queen, we suggest Sir James Dyson or Sir Charles Dunstone’s gin palaces as other options that could be commandeered

This morning on Radio 4’s Broadcasting House, Dame Esther Rantzen, for once in her somewhat curious career, made a valid suggestion when discussing the current hullabaloo over whether or not the nation should spend £200 million on a new royal yacht.

Commenting to the programme’s Paddy O’Connell of a “pomp and ceremony” focused proposal that the Conservatives are plainly using to wind up Labour, Dame Esther remarked:

“This is to me a crazy idea at a time when our economy has been obviously dealt something of a death blow by COVID, when we have no plans for social care, when food banks are thriving. Do we really think that the taxpayer, let alone the royal family, want £200 million spent on a royal yacht?”

“I think it’s an example of a newspaper starting a campaign which is so out of touch. However, perhaps, I have the solution: Sir Philip Green, do you remember him? He has a knighthood – which some people have questioned. He lives in Monaco, where there’s plenty of other people with yachts. Why doesn’t he donate his boat to the royal family?”

“If he’s got monograms with the words ‘Philip’ on it, that would be suitable for those who feel that the yacht should be named after Philip, Duke of Edinburgh… Prince Philip, you could just add a few, a few, you know…”

Equally, given the late NCP car park tycoon Sir Donald Gosling left £50 million in his will towards a replacement for the Royal Yacht Britannia, we suggest some potentially cheaper boating options to Sir Philip Green’s £100 million gin palace below that could also be commandeered.

Pictured top: The late Sir Donald Gosling’s former yacht Leander and its owner with the Queen and her late husband in 2012.

Option 1 – Sir Philip Green’s ‘Lionheart’

Pros – The disgraced businessman’s gin palace is definitely big at 295-foot and can accommodate 12 guests with a crew of 30. It’d probably also appeal to ‘Randy Andy’ given his liking for living it large and there is plenty of space on the boat’s deck for the ‘Duchess of Dork’ to engage in a bit of toe sucking as well.

Cons – This boat’s décor would likely be considered a bit ‘lowbrow’ by the Queen given “Call Me Lady Tina” – the rotten retailer’s wife – is known more for brass than class. The tacky tub might need a bit of a clean also as in September 2020, the vessel was impounded in Monaco due to two of its staff contracting coronavirus.

Option 2 – Sir James Dyson’s ‘Nahlin’

Pros – Given all the breaks billionaire Sir James Dyson and his carpet designer wife ‘Lady Deirdre’ have been given by Boris Johnson in spite of disgracefully relocating their operations abroad, you’d think they might want to give something back and hand over their boat.

As was reported in the Guardian yesterday, this steam yacht has also been subject to a £25 million restoration and has ‘previous royal form’ in that it housed the then King Edward VIII and Mrs Wallis Simpson just prior to the 1936 abdication crisis. Perhaps that might attract that devious duo’s modern day equivalents, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, onboard for peace talks.

Cons – The Queen could find herself like the majority of the population, who’ve wasted money on his frankly mostly useless products, a little frustrated with the vessel’s hypocritical Brexiteer owner and we don’t think she’d like ‘Dreary Deirdre’s’ appalling rug designs either.

Option 3 – Sir Charles Dunstone’s ‘Shemara’

Pros – The 210-foot motor yacht Shemara is a favourite of all at The Steeple Times. Built by Sir Bernard Docker at the behest of his brilliantly batty wife, ‘Lady Nora,’ in 1938, this vessel has played host to everyone from King Farouk of Egypt to coalminers.

Cons – If the Queen took over this boat, she might find herself a little beholden to the ‘Chipping Norton set’ given Sir Charles Dunstone is considered one of that group’s most illustrious members. Conversations with Rebekah Brooks about her thoughts on her wayward grandchild and his money grabbing wife might not prove easy, but Jeremy Clarkson could break the ice with a drink or five.

May 16, 2021
Wisdom From Wales

Nikolay Kalinin delves into Labour’s success in Wales in the recent elections and suggests if the party wants to win nationwide they should pay heed to what went on there

If there’s anything that the Senedd election results can tell us, it is that the Welsh people are amongst the few that have not gone completely crackers and voted for parties that will make their lives worse at this time.

This can be evidenced by the fact that there are now no seats taken by members of UKIP and the Abolish the Welsh Assembly Party, with the former losing all seven of their seats and gaining a miserable 0.8% of the constituency vote and 1.6% of the regional vote. This is an even more shameful result than AWAP, which gained 1.6% of the constituency vote and 3.7% of regional vote.

However, both the Green Party and AWAP had a high chance of winning a regional seat in the South Wales East – where back in 2016 UKIP came second with 17.8% and got 2 out of the 4 regional seats. Nevertheless, both parties fell short by just over 5,000 votes.

The anti-lockdown Reform UK also failed in their goal to “change politics for good,” gaining no seats and once again showing Nigel Farage and Richard Tice that no one cares about their party.

So far, none of the party leaders have said anything about their predicament, meaning that they have truly been defeated in a literal and mental sense, and hopefully they will keep their filthy noses out of Welsh politics for as long as possible.

How was Labour successful? They avoided focusing too much on attacking BoJo and his sleazy Eton pals and ‘Carrie Antoinette,’ and focused instead on positive messaging, even managing to attract the voters who backed UKIP back in 2016.

Welsh Labour’s leadership during the pandemic has also meant that the electorate feels more comfortable with voting for a party which has led the region during one of the biggest public health crises the country has ever seen, with many describing this attraction to the government as “Stockholm syndrome,” which I personally find to be very stupid.

Another conclusion that we can take from the results is that Plaid Cymru’s dreams of a Welsh referendum of independence is going to be very hard to achieve due to the lack of seats they have. They only managed to gain 13 seats, which is only one seat higher than their results in 2016.

The Welsh Labour manifesto has been seen as a big reason why Labour did not gain a majority, since it has been criticised as over-cautious, although looking at it I don’t see anything too tame there. Labour for example wants to keep prescriptions free in the region, open up a new medical school and develop the Young Persons Guarantee that will give everyone under 25 the offer of work, education, training, or self-employment.

Labour’s results in Wales should be a model for Labour as a whole party; there’s some speculation that by 2040, Labour will have enough support for a coalition government, although I don’t see this as possible if Labour keeps going at this rate.

As I previously mentioned in my article about Hartlepool and when I spoke to Nick Abbott on LBC, the reason Labour won in Wales was because they appealed to the former UKIP working-class voters. So, next, it’s time Sir Keir Starmer applied that same tactic nationwide.

Pictured top: First Minister of Wales, The Right Honourable Mark Drakeford.

Wisdom From Wales – Two contrasting leaders, Mark Drakeford and Boris Johnson, who’ve both had remarkable success in the 2021 elections. Labour First Minister Mark Drakeford was returned with an extraordinarily increased majority and polled nearly 50% of the total votes cast in Cardiff West. Labour also took back Rhondda from the former Plaid Cymru leader, Leanne Wood. Of the success of this pair and Nicola Sturgeon in Scotland also, ‘Unherd’s’ Freddie Sayers remarked: “One factor that hasn’t been much discussed is that these three characters — Sturgeon, Drakeford and Johnson — have for the past year of pandemic been on the television screens almost every evening precisely calibrating the level of freedom people should expect to enjoy. Sometimes our leaders have been generous, allowing us to have a coffee on a park bench with a friend; at other times, they have been pointlessly capricious, such as when Mark Drakeford insisted that non essential items like birthday cards and books were cordoned off in Welsh supermarkets so that people did not shop unnecessarily.”

May 11, 2021