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OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

Luxury and the arts From houses to cars and from Hockney to van Dyck, a profile of the best and the worst

Legged off

Fashion writer Jacinta de Vere looks into the perils of wearing leggings, jeggings and meggings

 

What is up with women who assume leggings paired with a short top or crop jacket is a good idea for a night out or a trip to the supermarket? Leggings are not trousers, ladies. Leggings are actually the least flattering item in anyone’s wardrobe.

 

Unfortunately, most women do not realise that most leggings are made with very thin fabric. I was in the middle of Marks & Spencer buying my grapefruit when one woman dropped her apple. She bent over in front of me and I almost puked. I saw the personal bits that her gynaecologist and waxer normally see. It was not a pretty sight.

 

Similarly, I was at my local watering hole and had a table next to the dance floor. Some chick in her heels bent over to do some asinine dance move and of course, thanks to the flashing lights and disco ball I was also privy to her modesty while her bum was in my face. Seriously, if you are going to wear leggings, wear a thong. Even better yet, do not wear leggings at all.

Bum

Maybe the only people who can get away with wearing leggings with a short top are women who have long thin legs and a great bum, which are generally accompanied by a kick-ass body. These women go to the gym almost every day and rarely eat or have amazing genetics. These items are meant for the gym or to lounge around at home. However, if you are planning your wardrobe around finding a comfortable waistband, then that is your sign to wear a longer length sweater, boyfriend blazer or tunic top that covers your bum.

 Splure and bargain

To make matters worse, some moron invented jeggings. It is a fashion mutation between jeans and leggings. If you think buying these is a good idea, then run and get your head checked. With all of the options available in the trouser section of most stores, I would question anyone who seeks out a jegging. Jeans are great; they are comfortable and look good when paired with a nice top and jacket. However, I struggle to find any combination where jeggings are a hot look. Instead, what comes to mind are muffin-tops and drumsticks. Jeggings are not forgiving to anyone’s imperfections. If you put them on, be prepared to be ridiculed and have young children run away in fear.

 

Even Kim Kardashian, who has a rather large bum, chooses to cover it with a sweater or a jacket. She knows her body and how to accentuate her best assets. A large number of women have no idea what looks good on their body shape, have a herd mentality and just follow trends. Ladies, this old trend, if followed, must be done with caution.

 Kim Kardashian and Olivia Palermo

Another fashion travesty that occurs with leggings is wearing them with Ugg® boots. Uggs are Uggly. I have seen women walk around town with their children in matching Uggs and leggings. It makes me want to cry as I witness society deteriorate to a leggings and Ugg wearing generation. Where has the elegance and style gone? I have strong feelings about these unattractive boots and will spend more time on them in another piece at a later date. If you are not convinced, let me throw an image at you.

 

Do you think this is a good look?

 

I did not want to make the male readers feel left out. This article would not be complete without a proper discussion on meggings: leggings for men. Apparently, this “hot, new trend” is crossing the Atlantic thanks to Uniqlo. I seem to recall this trend originating in the UK in the 80s and then going to America. I guess payback is a bitch.

 

When I see pictures of men who chose to don these appalling tights, I feel like I am looking at soft porn. As mentioned above, it is not cool to see your kibbles and bits whilst you are allegedly wearing clothing.

 Hell no

Whether comprised of sequin, crochet or flannel, they do not belong on anyone’s body except your favourite Raggedy Ann doll. Even then, I would question your taste. Let us examine this fine specimen in the following photograph. It does not matter how “hot” he is, I would rather chew off my right arm than be seen in public with a man wearing meggings. Gents, please ask yourselves: “What would Frank Sinatra or Humphrey Bogart do?” Whatever they would do or whomever they do, I doubt they would do it in meggings.

 Hot not

So, if you find yourself in a boutique thinking about purchasing leggings, jeggings or meggings, please think twice before you buy. Ladies, please channel you inner Audrey Hepburn or ask yourself: “What would Grace Kelly do?” If either of them were alive, they would buy a pair of skinny jeans or cigarette pants, a crisp white shirt, a boyfriend blazer and Chanel flats. You would not see them in leggings and Uggs.

 

Jacinta de Vere is a lover of haute couture and all things fashionable and decadent. She is based in London.

 

Follow her on Twitter at: http://www.twitter.com/jacintadevere

Comments

2 comments on “Legged off”

  1. Worth a visit to Newport City Centre (although I’m sure it’s everywhere) where those sized 18 and over are wandering about sporting leggings. One girl was in an overstretched pair of white leggings that let us know she was wearing a red thong underneath them. Another was wearing some of a denim effect but unfortunately the lycra had given up the fight and her apron belly had folded right down onto her thighs taking most of the material with it. Yet another, wearing the leopard skin variety, crouched down next to her pushchair and we were subjected to an enormous butt crack, along with the rest of the bare flesh spilling out. Leggings were an abomination in the 1980s and things have not changed. If you’re over a size 10 do NOT buy leggings/jeggings/meggings!!

  2. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I believe you’re confusing “flattering” with ‘unforgiving’ – quite oppositely to what you’re saying, leggings are VERY flattering actually…IF you have the type of body to show off; and there is a very broad spectrum in which to qualify for this. My dear, the above body certainly warrants wearing leggings when and where it chooses (it’s THAT fine). Although, I dunno where you’re from but there’re relatively few around here that wear them to nightclubs. Leggings are a great way to show the female form: they offer the best of both worlds in that they provide modesty to avoid nakedness by covering skin yet are so form fitting that they show off the whole bottom body so that it is the next closest thing to seeing those pins in the flesh…this is mainly for/from the male benefit/perspective of course but for the female wearer, it provides comfort, flexibility and the faculty of feeling sexy whilst protecting their modesty. Yes there’re times they would be inappropriate (the beach, a wedding, the Oscars) but these are limited and I’m afraid you’re mistaken that they’re overused. There is not a red-blooded male who would poor scorn on the above picture because she is wearing leggings per se. Nor a woman (who felt they didn’t have an appropriate leggings-wearing figure) who wouldn’t be envious of the above picture. Just to clarify: YES leggings aren’t for all occasions, YES some can be too thin so as to expose skin blemishe, NO they’re not for every body type (although this is a free choice for the wearer) and NO it doesn’t always look good when they bend over, the leggings thin out, the arse widens and underwear comes to view. As for your comments for jeggings: I have to wonder whether you’re a puritan, out of shape, bitter or just plain obtuse. Jeggings are just what they say they are: a hybrid of jeans and leggings…and a wonderfully practical invention too. They not only allow a fuller figure to easier grace the inside of a pair of ‘jeans’ but they also allow the flexibility they’re only afforded inside leggings. Who in their right mind WOULDN’T want to be more comfortable in a pair of jeans when there’re days only denim will do. I personally seek out denim jeans with elastine or Lycra woven into them and swear by them if you wish to avoid the rigidity of pure denim. Again, you’re mistaken by comparing 80s leggings with today because then, they came in one form: cotton and (generally) black. Today, they are UNrecognisable from then – there’re an infinitesimal number of designs and then styles and colours with varying functions (some for gym, some to wick away sweat whilst running, some to flatten/body shape, some to look like jeans etc). Your doctored picture of Olivia Wilde with leggings in Ugh boots isn’t fooling anybody. If you truly wish to ask that question, kindly show the original image. But to answer it anyway – the extremely shapely Olivia Wilde certainly does make the look good. The trouble with women (like you) is that you spend so much time sniping and denigrating each other’s fashion choices and competing with each other (instead of showing solidarity) that you fall right into the palm of lascivious men. In summation: there is nothing wrong at all with wearing leggings, at appropriate times…and there’re very few INappropriate times and a great body in leggings will often even transcend any impropriety FACT

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