Classic clangers from the last week
Marrying the Tube
Reader Katerina Mina was on the London Underground when the driver announced: “Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to this service. I know you’re all dying to get to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife. If you are, you’ll want to crossover to the westbound platform and go in the opposite direction”. Several passengers raised their eyebrows in astonishment.
God bless the USA
Our contributor Kerri Moss Beaumont was attending a yoga class in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Another participant was overheard to ask her friend: “What’s been going on?” Her friend responded: “Lots, lots man”. “Really, cool, tell me” came the answer. “I’ve just been hanging out, shifting consciousness. I’ve got so much new room”. “God bless the USA”, exclaimed Mrs Moss Beaumont.
At the KX Gym in Chelsea, two sisters sat chatting with another woman at the central table. One explained: “We did school in Switzerland and Monte Carlo. We have different dads and the same mum. When we are in London, we go to our apartment together. When we go home, we go home alone. Well, she goes to her husband. I don’t like him. He doesn’t like me. I wish she’d ditch him”. A simple family if ever there were one.
Reader Monima O’Connor was shopping in Boots. At the till, a man boomed out to the cashier: “A large pack of condoms please”. He turned to the queue and stated: “She’s my wife”. A chuckle or three followed.
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I do enjoy the signs on the Tube too. Great fun when the staff get carried away. Not such fun when the f***ers strike.
Anyone overheard that Thomas McLoughlin character ranting lately? Now that’d be a great Overheard. What a bitter bulls***ter.
Too much swearing here. Support Find Madeleine.