Thursday, November 24, 2022

Overheard: 3rd July

Classic clangers from the last week

 

Showing face

At the Masterpiece art and antiques fair at the Royal Hospital, a plastic faced lady was overheard chatting with an exhibitor. She stated: “I cannot walk from A to B in this tent without bumping into fifty people”. The exhibitor answered: “You’d do well to come with a paper bag over your head”. Harley Street’s best customer laughed and retorted: “I’m very proud of my new face. Why on earth would I do that?”

blank

 

blank
blank

Love in a caravan

“There’s caravans back there” ranted a Little Britain-like grandmother on a train to Ramsgate. “I love a good caravan” answered her daughter. “Best things in Britain. Best place to eat a good cheese sandwich and have a good cuddle” the granny continued before her daughter interrupted: “You’re too old to be shagging. Stick to playing games on your mobile”. A candidate for Tindr?

 

Recession? What recession?
Recession? What recession?

Pricey cats

“I’ve got a cat flap with three different numbers” remarked another passenger on the Ramsgate train. “You what?” answered her friend. “It’s all about security. You don’t want them flapping in and out do ya?” continued the first. “I’ve heard of cat napping but that one of yours gets through lovers quicker than Katie Price” concluded the second.

 

Recession happy

Outside a restaurant in Whitstable a sign read: “What! Recession… It’s been like this for 20 years. Happy days!” A passerby was overheard to remark: “I’ll post that to George Osborne”.

 

Bus talk

On the 14 bus on Fulham Road, a rather large English woman was overheard chatting on her mobile phone. “I’ve got you some diarrhea capsules”. Another passenger turned and told her: “We’ve heard enough b******t from you. Why don’t you take them yourself?” Several other passengers cried out: “Hear, hear”.

 

Submit comments you overhear to [email protected]. We publish the best we receive once a week.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:

     

    blank
    blank
    The Steeple Times
    The Steeple Times
    We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    £1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

    Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

    3,089FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    14,475FollowersFollow

    Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

    Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

    AD
    Advertisement

    Trending Now

    Give Thanks Ghislaine – Mucky Madam Maxwell Gets Tofurky® Dinner For Thanksgiving 2022

    Noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell will no doubt give thanks that she’s getting Tofurky® this Thanksgiving; the notoriously fussy eater will likely love this vegan nosh-up.

    Waite Urges No Further Wait – Terry Waite CBE Calls For No Further Delay In Reviewing The Case Of Mark Alexander

    ‘The Steeple Times’ backs respected humanitarian Terry Waite CBE’s calls for a review “without further delay” of the conviction of Mark Alexander; the now 35-year-old was found guilty of killing his conman father on “circumstantial evidence alone” in 2010.

    Cut Price Cairness House – 58% Slashed Off Price Of “Scotland’s most important Greek Revival house”

    “Internationally important” Greek Revival Cairness House has its price slashed from £3 million to just £1.25 million in spite of it having been given a renovation that supposedly cost over £1 million.

    Theresa May’s Wads Of Saudi Wonga – WTTC Speech in Saudi Arabia

    Matthew Steeples questions if it is right for the former Prime Minister Theresa May to presumably taking wads of wonga to give a speech to the World Travel & Tourism Council in Saudi Arabia given the World Economic Forum ranked the country 141 out of 149 countries on gender equality.

    Most Popular Artcles

    Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

    An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.

    Justice for James Scurlock

    Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

    Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

    With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a...

    Scobie Orf!

    ‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’