Classic clangers from the last week
Winning the pork
At The Park Tower Hotel in Knightsbridge, reader James Ellis overheard an animated female guest shouting at a waiter. She yelled: “There’s pork in my Caesar salad. I nearly threw up. There’s pork. There’s bacon. What have you done?” The horrified waiter calmly replied: “My goodness. I thought the sky had caved in. Do calm down dear”. Michael Winner would have been proud.
At Royal Ascot, an elderly lady in a rather large hat was overheard to remark: “Look at that creature over there” to her husband. He asked: “Where? I don’t see any horses darling”. She answered: “No, you fool, no. Look. Look at that nag. What on earth is that woman wearing?” He turned and answered: “Oh, her. Seriously? Are you surprised? At least she’s not on the floor. Look at that one over there”. His wife looked to where he was pointing and observed a woman – plainly a little worse for wear – flat out on the ground with a bottle of champagne by her side. She simply concluded: “That young lady will most certainly have a headache in the morning”. Send in the Ibuprofen.
A wannabe model told her makeup artist: “I’m starving myself to lose weight and I won’t stop until I see my bones”. Not knowing of a suitable answer, he answered: “Erm… How lovely”.
Pricing a Bentley
In the Bentley showroom on Berkeley Square, a potential purchaser was overheard to ask a salesman: “Can I have it with a pink leather interior?” The unfazed salesman responded: “Certainly madam”. A Katie Price in the making?
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