Saturday, December 4, 2021

Overheard: 31st March

Section:

Classic clangers from the last week

 

Confusing ‘whore’ and’ here’

A businessman standing at Euston Station was approached by a Chinese tourist who asked: “Where do you get whore?” The startled businessman answered: “I have no idea”. The Chinese man answered: “I is lost”. The businessman: “Ah, I see. I thought you wanted a prostitute”. The Chinese man went red and punched the other man.

 

You sad cow

A woman in the Eclipse bar in Walton Street to her female friend: “I didn’t have a relationship for five years and now I want one”. Her companion responded: “I’ve been single for eight years and I love it”. The first woman answered: “You sad cow”.

 

Its not just yummy mummies who are overheard gossiping at Aubaine
Its not just yummy mummies who are overheard gossiping at Aubaine

LA chicken

A British businessman at Aubaine in South Kensington: “I was vegetarian for over 10 years but when I was in LA, I ate chicken because it’s so healthy there”. “Really? No, I don’t think so”, responded his surprised companion. “The American food industry is the most unhealthy in the world. That’s the truth”. “You’re wrong”, said the chicken loving veggie: “LA chicken is just the dog’s bollocks”.

 

Tropically blonde

A conversation between two very tanned blondes at the Hospital for Tropical Diseases was overheard by one of our readers. Blonde 1: “I can’t believe I’m sitting an NHS waiting room”. Blonde 2: “At least everyone knows you’ve been somewhere exotic and tropical. They don’t treat just any common illness here”. Our source: “Absolutely girls. I contracted my parasite in Sussex”. Blonde 1: “Do you mean there’s a Sussex in Australia?”. Our source nearly choked.

 

 

Subscribe to our free once daily email newsletter here:

    Success! Thanks for Your Request.
    Error! Please Try Again.

     

    The Steeple Times
    We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
    Advertisement

    2 COMMENTS

    1. Overheard in a centre for aged. Two Elderly gentleman were discussing the youth and quoting John Tapene.
      Tapene a former college principal offered the following words from a judge who regularly dealt with the youth.
      “Always we hear the cry from teenagers “What can we do, Where can we go?
      My answer is this; Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons and after you are done, read a book.
      Your community and town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.
      The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something, you owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words grow up stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Behave responsible. Sadly teenagers today have too many rights, and with these rights comes the sense of entitlement. Chris Grayling and Nick Clegg will buy them more Smart Televisions and Play Stations in the youth offending institutions.

    2. Surely this is not an apocryphal story (surely!)

      A young man is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl sitting alone at a table: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?

      The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON ‘T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”

      All the students in the library started staring at the man who was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

      After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the young man’s table and said with a laugh “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I’m sure you felt embarrassed, right?”

      The man then responded with a loud voice:

      “£250 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT’S MUCH TOO MUCH!”

      All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.

      The young man whispered in her ear: “I study law, and I really know how to screw people”.

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    Advertisement

    £1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

    Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

    2,780FansLike
    2,068FollowersFollow
    11,769FollowersFollow

    Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

    Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

    AD
    Advertisement

    Recent and Popular

    (Un)Signed Ghislaine Maxwell 69 Stanhope Mews East

    (Un)Signed Ghislaine

    Crowdfunder for documentary supporting alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell fails to sign up a single supporter just as signs go up at her former home about filming and dog pee.
    Clowning Around Boris Johnson Sir Keir Starmer

    Bosie – Stop Clowning Around

    Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson needs to stop clowning around and tell the truth about his strategy to fight COVID-19 and Omicron this winter.
    Poisonous apple Ghislaine Maxwell

    Ghislaine Maxwell – A Genuinely Poisonous Apple

    References to Adam and Eve from Ghislaine Maxwell’s defence team ignore the fact she is a genuinely poisonous apple; references to Jeffrey Epstein being like James Bond are equally ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples.
    Lowbrow Lindsay Lohan

    Lowbrow Lindsay Lohan Reaches A New Low

    When you thought lowbrow loser Lindsay Lohan couldn’t go any lower, the ‘celebutard’ predictably delivers.
    Day of Destiny Scott Borgerson Ghislaine Maxwell Jeffrey Epstein Prince Andrew

    Ghislaine Maxwell’s Day Of Destiny

    As Ghislaine Maxwell faces her day of destiny at the ‘trial of the century,’ her brother ridiculously claims their pension robbing father’s “reputation was trashed beyond belief” and announces of his sister: “This time, let’s bring this ship home.”
    Karl Lagerfeld Rolls-Royce

    Rolling With Karl Lagerfeld

    Three Rolls-Royces that belonged to the late designer Karl Lagerfeld to be auctioned by Sotheby’s; the eccentric never drove them himself.
    Amanda Platell with paedophile Rolf Harris

    Moron of the Moment – Amanda Platell

    Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.
    Haider Malik

    Hero of the Hour – Haider Malik

    Unemployed graduate Haider Malik’s decision to seek work by standing with a pop-up-stall outside Canary Wharf tube station paid off with a top job offer.

    Over a Million Views

    Omid Scobie Meghan Markle Duchess of Sussex Finding Freedom

    Who REALLY is Omid Scobie?

    An examination of the true character traits of the Duchess of Sussex’s PR peddling biased ‘bestie’ Omid Scobie by Nikolay Kalinin.
    Justice for James Scurlock – Power of social media proven after the senseless murder of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a bar owner Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

    Justice for James Scurlock

    Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.
    Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry – With his marriage to the former Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore.

    Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

    With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a fun loving sort. He boozed, partied and enjoyed playing pranks. Now, having married ‘Murky Mucky Mendacious Meg,’ it seems those days are over.   Supposedly, according to...
    Omid Scobie Sadie Quinlan Yankee Wally

    Scobie Orf!

    ‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’
    A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell – Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

    A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

    Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.
    Richard Madeley Diana Princess of Wales

    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

    As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

    Weather

    London
    few clouds
    7.3 ° C
    8.5 °
    5.9 °
    73 %
    2.2kmh
    20 %
    Sat
    7 °
    Sun
    7 °
    Mon
    6 °
    Tue
    7 °
    Wed
    7 °