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The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further.
Anita Rani arrives as a BBC Radio 4 ‘Woman’s Hour’ morning show presenter and announces: “If you’ve had enough, pour yourself a G&T, you have my permission.”
Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.
Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris).
Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”
Management of Fulham Road Italian The Chelsea Corner share their anger at the British government with protest posters against Lockup 3.0 and restaurants being branded “non-essential.”
Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she has utterly nothing new to say.
Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further.
‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers a couple of options for the rescheduled Welsh Grand National 2020 at Chepstow – as well as a 66/1 each way option with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 place possibilities at Kempton.
Not content with butchering bears, barbarian bitch Larysa Switlyk headed to Africa to harm hippos; this harridan must be stopped and banned from Instagram also.
At a time of lockup lunacy in early 2021, the last thing we need is the marketing nonsense that is ‘Dry January’ forced upon us; instead, celebrate #DryGinuary.
Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house on New Year’s Day whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple.
Brian Basham, PR peddler for mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, suggests ‘Hunting Ghislaine’ podcast host John Sweeney is a drunk and someone he “despises.”
As grotesque Ghislaine Maxwell is deservedly denied bail, PR peddler Brian Basham bizarrely drones on about China and “show trials” whilst author Don Winslow references the pressure now placed on Donald Trump.
Avocados and a “lack of British chefs in the kitchens” get the goat of out-of-touch British peers just as Norman Fowler calls for their numbers to be cut.
“Mini castle” in Pennsylvania goes on sale in time for Christmas for 512% more than it sold for in 2000 in spite of its decoration being nightmare nasty.
Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a public park in Lytham, Lancashire.
Auction to blow-up Donald Trump in 2021 commences online for charity; the opportunity to implode is expected to sell for £375,000 and porn star Stormy Daniels is trying to get involved.
Jobsworth Robert Jenrick announces estate agents CAN take potential virus spreaders into peoples’ homes even in Tier 4 lockdown areas; a QUARTER of donations to the Tory party come from the property sector.
For once, the normally “condescending cow” Karren Brady got it right in supporting the tremendous jockey Hollie Doyle to become BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2020.
Larysa Switlyk’s attempt to go global with a new website sharing imagery of her slaying bears and zebras is proof that this woman is nothing but an international menace and monster.
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