Wednesday, September 7, 2022
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THE SPORTING LIFE

Pardoning Ghislaine

Odds of 3/1 emerge on Donald Trump pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell before 21st January 2021 alongside Joe Exotic.

Ban The Bear Slayer – 10,000 Signatures on Petition Against Larysa Switlyk

As our petition to ban bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk from Instagram soars past 10,000 signatures, it is time the social media outlet paid attention In September, The Steeple Times launched a petition seeking to...

Hero of the Hour – Marcus Rashford MBE

As the public quite rightly rubbish a disgraceful ‘Mail on Sunday’ diatribe against the campaigning footballer Marcus Rashford, he responds with dignity and launches a book club.

The Wonders of Walking

Axminster gym owner Aneesa California is wrong to announce she and upto 200 others will defy the lockdown rules; the nation should instead get its walking shoes on during Lockdown 2.

Picture of the Week – A Red Squirrel Riot

Images of a red squirrel fighting a pheasant for hazelnuts and bird seed are proof that both creatures can be quite feisty.

Ban the InstaKiller

Wolf slaying ‘InstaKiller’ Larysa Switlyk disgracefully remains on Instagram in spite of campaign to remove her going viral on Change.org

Coming up for Ayr

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.

Monster of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

Massacring monster Larysa Switlyk boasts about killing an endangered Coke’s hartebeest and a wolf also; she shares such for personal profit and frankly Instagram should be ashamed of itself for enabling her.

Five of the Best – Houses for Sports Fanatics

‘The Steeple Times’ discovers five properties that will appeal to serious sports fanatics with a desire to indulge their passions at home that are currently for sale.

Heroine of the Hour – Hollie Doyle

In becoming the first woman in British racing to ride five winners in one day at cumulative odds of 899-1, 23-year-old Hollie Doyle has set herself on course for deserved stardom.

A £1 Million Shooting Brake

Quirky 1966 Aston Martin DB6 Vantage shooting brake with coachwork by Harold Radford goes to auction with a reserve of just under £1 million.

Hero of the Hour – Tobias Weller (AKA ‘Captain Tobias’)

Nine-year-old Tobias Weller has raised £145,000 for good causes by walking two marathons in spite of having cerebral palsy and autism.

Monster of the Moment – Dr Walter Palmer

Reprehensible “driller killer” dentist Dr Walter Palmer will forever be remembered for slaying ‘Cecil The Lion’; the sexual harasser of his own employees has now gone and done it again – this time the monster massacred an endangered ram.

Runners & Riders – The Coral-Eclipse 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ takes a look at the seven horse Group 1 Coral-Eclipse 2020 at Sandown and opts for a tasty outsider for an each way bet.

Runners & Riders – The Oaks and The Derby 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp double at Epsom on ‘Super Saturday’; we suggest enjoying The Oaks and The Derby 2020 at home.

Monster of the Moment – Priscilla Magana

Bear butchering barbarian bitch and slutty sportswear seller Priscilla Magana should be banned from social media; this Trump supporting monster instead belongs in the nuthouse.

Hero of the Hour – Abdul Musa Adam

As groom-rider Abdul Musa Adam leads out Shadn at Royal Ascot today, he will inspire many on the eve of World Refugee Day and illustrate the positives of welcoming child refugees.

Runners & Riders – Gold Cup Day at ‘Royal Ascot At Home’

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp Gold Cup Day at ‘Royal Ascot At Home’ – very much a day to stay indoors and watch Stradivarius, Frankie Dettori and Sir John Gosden.

Hero of the Hour – Bob Grace

In his humble response to his first win after 38 years of racing at Royal Ascot, winning groom ‘Big Bob’ Grace provided much needed cheer to racing fans everywhere along with his trusty companion Battaash.

Runners & Riders – Powering Up Pinatubo

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for Saturday 6th June 2020’s Quipco 2000 Guineas at Newmarket. Go for Pinatubo or Mums Tipple.

Moron of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

“Bitch of the first order” Larysa Switlyk takes to Instagram during the coronavirus lockdown to brag about her latest massacres; this moronic monster previously paid to shoot sheep in England.

Hero of the Hour – Jamie Osborne

Queen Mother’s favourite champion jockey turned trainer turns the ‘Valley of the Racehorse’ that is Lambourn alive with the sound of music and viral videos during COVID-19 Racehorse trainer Jamie Osborne’s website includes the amusing...

Who is Chelsea’s ‘Window Twerky’?

‘The Steeple Times’ asks readers to name the brilliantly batshit bonkers bird spotted gyrating in front of Chelsea shop windows during the coronavirus lockdown Spotted on both the Fulham Road and Kings in Chelsea...

Speedy Stirling

Matthew Steeples remembers the motor racing legend Sir Stirling Moss, “the greatest driver never to have won the world championship” Mille Miglia-winning Sir Stirling Moss, whose death at the age of 90 was announced this...

Fahad Takes Flight

Blow to British racing as Sheikh Fahad places his Longholes operation in Newmarket, Suffolk up for sale for £6 million to spend more time in California The impact of the coronavirus pandemic was always going...

Stunning Stonewall

Co-founder of Calvin Klein Inc. puts his 740 acre equestrian estate just an hour from New York up for sale for £81 million; about 65 stake winners and several horses that have competed at...

Hero of the Hour – Joe Wicks

In giving “every single penny he makes” from his online P.E. lessons to the NHS during the coronavirus lockdown of schools, Joe Wicks has shown himself as a hero of the hour On Sunday, the...

A Bowled Down Price

Texan estate for sale for sum 43% less than in 2011; it comes with the “finest private bowling alley in America” and a car museum In March 2015, The Steeple Times featured a Texan mansion...

A Seriously Slow Subaru

Quirky 1970 Subaru 360 police car to be sold at auction; unlike anything Colin McRae drove it’s as slow as a snail Advertised quite accurately in the United States as “cheap and ugly” by its...

Post Paused

Today, after 34 years in business, the ‘Racing Post’ has sadly stopped daily print production due to the coronavirus outbreak British horseracing’s premier publication, the Racing Post, printed its last edition this morning. Now “temporarily...

Lustful Lizzie Replaces Gruesome Ghislaine

With paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell still missing, knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy steps into the breach in the forthcoming Cash & Rocket rally Last year, prior to disappearing in the wake of the...

Runners & Riders – Cheltenham Gold Cup 2020

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for today’s Magners Gold Cup at Cheltenham Today might be considered unlucky by some given it is Friday 13th,...

Anth’ Flips

Anthea Turner moves from swinging to flipping – and does so disastrously When in the company of she who enjoys a bit of knicker flashing in restaurants Lizzie Cundy, Anthea Turner often seems to firstly...

Axing Switlyk

Sex toy loving animal slayer Larysa Switlyk appears in a video hurling axes at a wall whilst trying to flog ghastly leggings There’s deranged and then there’s Larysa Switylk. She who likes to shove sex...

BoJo And The Burbot

Matthew Steeples asks: “Could the return of the ‘great lost’ burbot solve Boris Johnson from the impending fisheries negotiations crisis?” You’ve probably never heard of the burbot (also known as the eelpout and the lingcod)....

Cash, Rocket and a Madam

Why won’t the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ answer a simple question about their past participant, the madam to a paedophile Ghislaine Maxwell? Last year, prior to disappearing off the face of the planet in the...

Moron of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

Sex toy up the bums of sheep shover Larysa Switlyk takes to social media to moan about what she’s had to quite deservedly endure Larysa Switlyk likes to boast about shoving sex toys up the...

Runners & Riders – Betfair Super Saturday

Our analysis of the selections for Betfair Super Saturday at Newbury today, Saturday 8th February 2020 Today at Newbury and just six weeks before the Cheltenham Festival, a jump racing highlight comes in the form...

Video of the Week – Katie The C*NT

Now banned from Twitter media mouthpiece Katie Hopkins fooled into accepting an award that labels her a c*nt by YouTubers Many celebrated this week when the self-confessed “biggest bitch in England” Katie Hopkins was banned...

Runners & Riders – Cheltenham Festival Trials Day

Can the Power-Tizzard combo conquer in the Cotswold Chase on Cheltenham Festival Trials day? Lately, the success of Colin Tizzard with such horses as Lostintranslation has been phenomenal and now, today, at the Cheltenham Trials...

A Question of Meghan

The Duchess of Sussex needs to answer a simple question about which member of the royal family she met first A simple question needs to be asked:   Did the then Meghan Markle meet Prince Andrew before...

Anth’ Swings into Hyde Park

Publicity loving Anthea Turner and policeman biter fiancé “giggled like teens” as they “hit the rides” at Winter Wonderland on Boxing Day Like Tarzan in the jungle, ‘Princess Tippytoes’ Anthea Turner has swung into action...

All You Need To Know About American Football in the UK

As American football grows in popularity in the UK, Fabio Contissa asks: “Is it worth getting into?” You may think you know what American football is, but do you know your end zone from your...

Epstein’s Drinkers & Drivers

‘The Steeple Times’ reveals further information about Ghislaine Maxwell’s activities in London just as Princess Beatrice is spotted round the corner from the alleged madam’s pad Early yesterday evening, Princess Beatrice was spotted shopping round...

Bingo!

New contributor Kirstian Stoynaov examines the best ways to play bingo and the strategies to follow Bingo is a game that is fun to play. The joy and excitement of it stems from its relatively...

Where’s Bernie?

Bernie Ecclestone has been remarkably absent since being branded a “cranky gargoyle” in September, so where is he? One would have expected to have seen Bernie Ecclestone gobbling sausage rolls at the RM Sotheby’s annual...

Runners & Riders – Newmarket, Saturday 28th September

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections at Newmarket and Market Rasen also Today, aside from racing at Haydock cancelled due to it turning it into...

Calm Yourselves

Angry politicians should learn from the stoicism of the jockey James Doyle and the judge Baroness Hale when it comes to handling abuse suggests Matthew Steeples Whilst the British media have gone into uproar about...