Monday, October 18, 2021
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THE SPORTING LIFE

Runners & Riders – Powering Up Pinatubo

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for Saturday 6th June 2020’s Quipco 2000 Guineas at Newmarket. Go for Pinatubo or Mums Tipple.

Moron of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

“Bitch of the first order” Larysa Switlyk takes to Instagram during the coronavirus lockdown to brag about her latest massacres; this moronic monster previously paid to shoot sheep in England.

Hero of the Hour – Jamie Osborne

Queen Mother’s favourite champion jockey turned trainer turns the ‘Valley of the Racehorse’ that is Lambourn alive with the sound of music and viral videos during COVID-19 Racehorse trainer Jamie Osborne’s website includes the amusing...

Who is Chelsea’s ‘Window Twerky’?

‘The Steeple Times’ asks readers to name the brilliantly batshit bonkers bird spotted gyrating in front of Chelsea shop windows during the coronavirus lockdown Spotted on both the Fulham Road and Kings in Chelsea...

Speedy Stirling

Matthew Steeples remembers the motor racing legend Sir Stirling Moss, “the greatest driver never to have won the world championship” Mille Miglia-winning Sir Stirling Moss, whose death at the age of 90 was announced this...

Fahad Takes Flight

Blow to British racing as Sheikh Fahad places his Longholes operation in Newmarket, Suffolk up for sale for £6 million to spend more time in California The impact of the coronavirus pandemic was always going...

Stunning Stonewall

Co-founder of Calvin Klein Inc. puts his 740 acre equestrian estate just an hour from New York up for sale for £81 million; about 65 stake winners and several horses that have competed at...

Hero of the Hour – Joe Wicks

In giving “every single penny he makes” from his online P.E. lessons to the NHS during the coronavirus lockdown of schools, Joe Wicks has shown himself as a hero of the hour On Sunday, the...

A Bowled Down Price

Texan estate for sale for sum 43% less than in 2011; it comes with the “finest private bowling alley in America” and a car museum In March 2015, The Steeple Times featured a Texan mansion...

A Seriously Slow Subaru

Quirky 1970 Subaru 360 police car to be sold at auction; unlike anything Colin McRae drove it’s as slow as a snail Advertised quite accurately in the United States as “cheap and ugly” by its...

Post Paused

Today, after 34 years in business, the ‘Racing Post’ has sadly stopped daily print production due to the coronavirus outbreak British horseracing’s premier publication, the Racing Post, printed its last edition this morning. Now “temporarily...

Lustful Lizzie Replaces Gruesome Ghislaine

With paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell still missing, knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy steps into the breach in the forthcoming Cash & Rocket rally Last year, prior to disappearing in the wake of the...

Runners & Riders – Cheltenham Gold Cup 2020

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for today’s Magners Gold Cup at Cheltenham Today might be considered unlucky by some given it is Friday 13th,...

Anth’ Flips

Anthea Turner moves from swinging to flipping – and does so disastrously When in the company of she who enjoys a bit of knicker flashing in restaurants Lizzie Cundy, Anthea Turner often seems to firstly...

Axing Switlyk

Sex toy loving animal slayer Larysa Switlyk appears in a video hurling axes at a wall whilst trying to flog ghastly leggings There’s deranged and then there’s Larysa Switylk. She who likes to shove sex...

BoJo And The Burbot

Matthew Steeples asks: “Could the return of the ‘great lost’ burbot solve Boris Johnson from the impending fisheries negotiations crisis?” You’ve probably never heard of the burbot (also known as the eelpout and the lingcod)....

Cash, Rocket and a Madam

Why won’t the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ answer a simple question about their past participant, the madam to a paedophile Ghislaine Maxwell? Last year, prior to disappearing off the face of the planet in the...

Moron of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

Sex toy up the bums of sheep shover Larysa Switlyk takes to social media to moan about what she’s had to quite deservedly endure Larysa Switlyk likes to boast about shoving sex toys up the...

Runners & Riders – Betfair Super Saturday

Our analysis of the selections for Betfair Super Saturday at Newbury today, Saturday 8th February 2020 Today at Newbury and just six weeks before the Cheltenham Festival, a jump racing highlight comes in the form...

Video of the Week – Katie The C*NT

Now banned from Twitter media mouthpiece Katie Hopkins fooled into accepting an award that labels her a c*nt by YouTubers Many celebrated this week when the self-confessed “biggest bitch in England” Katie Hopkins was banned...

Runners & Riders – Cheltenham Festival Trials Day

Can the Power-Tizzard combo conquer in the Cotswold Chase on Cheltenham Festival Trials day? Lately, the success of Colin Tizzard with such horses as Lostintranslation has been phenomenal and now, today, at the Cheltenham Trials...

A Question of Meghan

The Duchess of Sussex needs to answer a simple question about which member of the royal family she met first A simple question needs to be asked:   Did the then Meghan Markle meet Prince Andrew before...

Anth’ Swings into Hyde Park

Publicity loving Anthea Turner and policeman biter fiancé “giggled like teens” as they “hit the rides” at Winter Wonderland on Boxing Day Like Tarzan in the jungle, ‘Princess Tippytoes’ Anthea Turner has swung into action...

All You Need To Know About American Football in the UK

As American football grows in popularity in the UK, Fabio Contissa asks: “Is it worth getting into?” You may think you know what American football is, but do you know your end zone from your...

Epstein’s Drinkers & Drivers

‘The Steeple Times’ reveals further information about Ghislaine Maxwell’s activities in London just as Princess Beatrice is spotted round the corner from the alleged madam’s pad Early yesterday evening, Princess Beatrice was spotted shopping round...

Bingo!

New contributor Kirstian Stoynaov examines the best ways to play bingo and the strategies to follow Bingo is a game that is fun to play. The joy and excitement of it stems from its relatively...

Where’s Bernie?

Bernie Ecclestone has been remarkably absent since being branded a “cranky gargoyle” in September, so where is he? One would have expected to have seen Bernie Ecclestone gobbling sausage rolls at the RM Sotheby’s annual...

Runners & Riders – Newmarket, Saturday 28th September

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections at Newmarket and Market Rasen also Today, aside from racing at Haydock cancelled due to it turning it into...

Calm Yourselves

Angry politicians should learn from the stoicism of the jockey James Doyle and the judge Baroness Hale when it comes to handling abuse suggests Matthew Steeples Whilst the British media have gone into uproar about...

Runners & Riders –Ayr Gold Cup Festival 2019

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for the Ayr Gold Cup Festival Today, racing enthusiasts will delight in the feature high-class sprint that is the...

Runners & Riders – The St Leger 2019

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for the St Leger Festival at Doncaster Today is a  bumper day of racing and it marks the final...

The Priorities of Parliament

As the annual dog show for MPs is cancelled, perhaps it is time MPs actually did something useful instead – put a stop to the chaos of Brexit Diddums for expense loving, do nothing useful...

Runners & Riders –The Epic Ebor, Day Four

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for the Ebor Festival The final day of the Ebor Festival is upon us and with this good weather,...

Runners & Riders –The Epic Ebor, Day Three

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for the Ebor Festival Our double romped home and came in yesterday. Search For A Song and Enable both...

Runners & Riders –The Epic Ebor, Day Two

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for the Ebor Festival Japan was the horse of the moment yesterday at the Ebor Festival and on this,...

Runners & Riders –The Epic Ebor, Day One

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for the Ebor Festival Today marks day one of a highlight of the racing calendar, the Ebor Festival at...

Glorious for a Grouse Moor

Rare Aston Martin shooting brake to be sold at auction in California; it would be the perfect vehicle to arrive at a grouse moor in today Today is the ‘Glorious Twelfth’ in Britain and anybody...

Runners & Riders – Saturday 3rd August

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for Glorious Goodwood Our dark(er) horse choice Escobar performed well and came in a good third yesterday at Goodwood...

Runners & Riders – Friday 2nd August

The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for Glorious Goodwood “Ambitious women can make it” announced Khadijah Mellah from Peckham after winning yesterday’s Magnolia Cup at...

Runners & Riders – Thursday 1st August

The Steeple Times reintroduces its horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for Glorious Goodwood and Nottingham With most civilised weather expected throughout the day and after witnessing the...

Hero of the Hour – Khadijah Mellah

First jockey to race in a hijab, Peckham teenager Khadijah Mellah brings fresh blood to racing and will make history tomorrow Educated at Sydenham High School and a member of the Ebony Horse Club –...

A Highland Dream

Completely ‘Off grid’ Scottish Highland hideaway 168 acre estate for sale for £650,000 just as it is revealed nowhere in Britain is more than 6 miles from a road Today The Sunday Times reported “we...

Word of the Week – Milkshaking

‘Milkshaking’ is the word of politics right now, but its origins are actually in corrupt practices in horseracing ‘Milkshaking’ has become the word of the 2019 European Parliamentary Elections in Britain. It is a word...

Winless Italy

Fabio Contissa on Italy’s lack of success in rugby   The saying “it’s your own time that you’re wasting” reverberates around the heads of many rugby union fans when they watch Italy plunder their way around...

Parrot Trends

“Very British” parrot named Nigel trends on social media; you could not make his story up   A grey African parrot described as “very British” called Nigel has bizarrely been trending on social media this morning.   Owned...

Shame, Sheep and Trumps

Donald Trump’s son and his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle – the ex-wife of the Democrat ‘Gavinator’ and governor of California – should be utterly ashamed of themselves for associating with the alligator, bear, goat and...

A Mega Priced Metro

1985 MG Metro 6R4 to be auctioned; it has an extraordinary estimate of £180,000 to £200,000 and just 175 miles on the clock   With over 1.5 million built during its production run, the Austin (and...

Moron of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

Sex toy up the bums of sheep shover Larysa Switlyk takes to social media to moan about what she’s had to quite deservedly endure Larysa Switlyk likes to boast about shoving sex toys up the...