Thursday, April 25, 2024

Football

Five Unlikely Things Famous Footballers Did Next…

David Lennox shares the little-known stories of what five famous footballers did next after retiring their pitch time prowess – amongst them everything from novel writing to forensic detective work.

Are Arsenal FC Serious Title Challengers This Season?

David Lennox suggests Arsenal have been getting the results since the start of the season, but questions if they are serious title challengers also

A £3m Wagatha Win – Coleen Rooney Trounces Rebekah Vardy

Matthew Steeples suggests that cool-and-collected Coleen Rooney very much deserved her victory over the mendacious minx Rebekah Vardy; the lesson from the ‘Wagatha Christie’ case is not to take legal action when you know you’ve told porky pies.

Tangerines Triumph – Blackpool Beats Off Owen Oyston Woes

Just as Blackpool Football Club’s new 17-year-old star signing Jake Daniels is widely lauded after “coming out” as gay, controversial former owner Owen Oyston unsurprisingly fails in laughable £78 million claim against the receivers of the ‘Tangerine’ team.

Who’s Davy Jones? Rebekah Vardy v Coleen Rooney 2022

Matthew Steeples suggests ‘Wagatha Christie’ Coleen Rooney is made of more grit than ‘Chatty Rat’ Rebekah Vardy; that the latter asked “Who’s Davy Jones?” and turned on the tears in court is simply illustrative that she’s a true own goaler.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Karren Brady

In not sacking footballer who giggled as he abused his pet cat, Karren Brady has yet again shown her true colours; shame on “overpainted Aunt Sally” Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge CBE

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Gary Lineker OBE

In taking refugees into his own home, ex-footballer Gary Lineker not only puts his money where his mouth is, but also shows true compassion and decency.

A Horse Named For Rooney

In the wake of his latest alleged sexual antics scandal, granny grabbing Wayne Rooney gets amusing suggestions for what he’d be called if he was a racehorse.

Pitiful Anderson and Priti Awful Patel

Nikolay Kalinin slams Home Secretary Priti Patel and fellow Tory twerp Lee Anderson MP over their off-pitch antics over tonight’s football final.